As a brand new mom, I thought it might be better to skip the whole Santa thing, telling my children from the beginning the truth about those stuffed stockings and wrapped packages. Then, Christmas magic came back into my heart. It happened when my son was 2 years old. We’d gone about our holiday, mostly ignoring Santa, until Christmas Eve, when my restless boy wouldn’t go to bed. “Let’s watch a movie. That will lull him to sleep,” suggested Grammy. A newly purchased Polar Express DVD was popped in and he sat, wide-eyed and far from sleep, through the entire movie. He was completely caught up in the train, the children, the snow, the presents, the North Pole factory, and, of course, Santa! As the movie finished, my son turned to me and said, “Mommy….I love that show!” With a smile on his face and excitement in his eyes, we put our boy to bed. And, I decided I believed again.
I think that believing in something that seems unbelievable can be the first step of faith. In cultivating the idea that someone really does watch the good things you do, someone really does notice when you make good choices, I believe we are planting the seeds that can, with age and increased knowledge of the Plan, develop into faith in a loving Father in Heaven. Traditional characteristics of St. Nick parallel many attributes of our Heavenly Father: He “knows if you’ve been bad or good,”[1] He is giving and He cares about His children as individuals.
Santa Claus is not a person so much as he is an idea. He personifies caring, love, service and miracles. It was wondrous to my young mind that a red-clad jolly old elf would slide down my chimney to deliver gifts; it is even MORE wonderful to my adult heart and mind that my Savior would “descend from His throne divine to rescue a soul so rebellious and proud as mine.”[2] Both scenarios are beyond comprehension: miraculous and special. That the life of my Savior is also sacred is testimony that came to me AFTER a childhood of believing in things I couldn’t yet understand. In my mind, the idea of ‘Santa’ found its true root in Jesus Christ.
So, I will continue to encourage my young Santa believers. When they are older I’m certain to tell them the real story of Santa: the legend born from the life of a charitable Saint. But, I hope that their willingness to believe, exhibited as small children, can grow into FAITH in that which is even more wondrous and sacred: the mission of Jesus Christ. I hope that the practice of believing can translate into active faith: faith in the love of their Father in Heaven, the eternal and redemptive power of the Atonement of the Savior, and a desire to create ‘Santa Claus Magic’ in the lives of those around them through service and good works.
I BELIEVE it will.
[1] “Santa Claus is Coming to Town” by J. Fred Coots and Henry Gillespie, 1934[2] Hymns of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, 193, “I Stand All Amazed,” by Charles H. Gabriel
Thank you! I was pondering some of this on my blog early (too early) this morning–why believing in Santa is not such a bad thing. I appreciate your well-expressed thoughts here. Great post!
I think you are right about that first step of faith idea.
We did Santa as long as possible.
The older children got to be Santa as they got *tweenish* aged.
The idea in our home was “if you don’t believe, you don’t get presents”.
We did incorporate Jesus everywhere also.
Santa left a letter to the children “don’t forget the reason for Christmas, the birth of Jesus Christ”.
Yes, there is much to be learned by all the symbols of Christmas.
Our kids have loved being Santa every bit as much as they loved believing in Santa. I really think it has helped remind the kids about the power of believing. Even my children who know “the secret” about Santa still get excited and caught up in the anticipation. I’ve wondered before if they’d forgotten. But the tradition of Santa (the historic tradition) is so beautiful, that creating Santa from that is really lovely.
pjb-I love the idea of a letter from Santa reminding the children about the reason for the season. I’ve tried to tell my kids all month that we give presents to remember the gifts the Savior gave to us. I was pleasantly surprised when my 4 and 3 years olds came up with several things that Jesus has given them.
Justine-I’d love to hear specifics about how you incorporate your older children into helping to ‘be’ Santa…
I’ll be honest, we’re using Santa as a hammer to get our older child to behave.
OK, I’ll be more honest and say that I had been contemplating whether or not to support the concept of Santa now that offspring is old enough to comprehend the idea. Thank you for this essay as it helps me realize that Santa doesn’t have to be a cudgel, but can be thoughtfully incorporated into holiday traditions.
I hate to play, “Scrooge’s Advocate,” but I guess I will. I also don’t want to take this too far and blow it out of proportion, but I do have some thoughts.
While Santa Claus is a fun idea and has a place in the Christmas realm, I can’t buy in to the concept of Santa as an introduction to faith, for the simple reason that Santa is not real. (Say what you will about the “spirit of Christmas” or the various ways that St. Nick represents Christian charity and service, but I’m talking about the jolly old elf himself.) I can’t build my children’s faith by lying to them about something that isn’t even close to true in the first place. One of the basic principles of faith is that it must be based in truth.
We started off doing the standard “Santa stuff” at our house, but our son’s analytical mind soon started probing the holes in the story. “Just how does Santa , anyway?” Telling bold-faced lies to our children just didn’t feel right.
Also, consider the aspect of trust. If our children learn that they can’t trust us about something as important (to them) as Santa, why will they trust us on other, more important, things–the things that really are important? Should the symbol of Christ or of God’s love be a straw man?
So, did we excise Santa from our home? Not at all. But, we’re trying to put him back into proper perspective. Santa used to be much more moderate than he is today. He started out by filling the stockings, and maybe leaving a doll or a toy train. I have no problem with this Santa. In this form, he’s a fine example of selfless giving to others, without thought of reward. Unfortunately, the modern Santa is largely a symbol of greed, little more than a wish-granter. He brings so much cool stuff that the focus is on what he will bring to me, regardless of how pure his motives may be.
I agree with some of what Matt says and some I don’t. I did not loose all my trust in my parents when I found out the truth about Santa. Really- I’ve heard this from other people- did any of you lose trust in your parents when you found out the truth??
Honestly what I lost was the magic of Christmas for awhile. THAT is what I am trying to keep from happening with my children as much as I can. When my children learn the real story of Santa they will get to help be Santa- by ringing sleigh bells outside of the window or writing a note from Santa, or maybe even wraping a gift from him. I’m not sure exactly but they will have a small part to play.
I don’t think my parents did a horrible job, or focused on Santa too much it just happened. I am agreeing with Matt in the sense that Santa is TOO much. He is EVERYWHERE. Every store you go to, “Santa” is there. HE brings Christmas. In our house “Santa” brings one gift and stockings. We watch movies that center on Christs birth, and read the scripture stories.
I think if we put Santa in less focus and more on Christ then we get Christmas. That is why I LOVE the kneeling Santa nativity.
Matt—I agree with some of what you said, but I think Amber did a brilliant job of wording how I feel, too. Thank you both for your ideas.
I liked this post at Mormon Mentality. I was going to quote part of it, but I think I’ll just quote the whole thing and link to it so you can read the comment thread. Tagore says:
I haven’t read the whole comment thread, but the ones I did read were interesting. I’m in the camp of playing Santa like a game, and helping my kids to understand that Santa is a very fun game without a basis in reality. This is because I was devastated when I found out the truth, and I think, for my own family, it’s the right choice. I realize I’m not in the majority, and I try to teach my kids not to spoil the belief of other kids. But my kids are still delighted by Christmas, excited for their gifts, and I think it’s been a good thing for us, although I know it’s not for everyone.
I happily lie to my children about Santa (and Christkindl and flying reindeer) and passionately encourage them to hope for false realities like world peace and universal kindness. We’ve never overemphasized Santa Claus and until this year haven’t even designated gifts from the Big Man.
However, I believe in the power of myth, of storytelling, of creating magic through dreams and thoughts. It’s why I think fiction has such power. Santa is fiction, they’ll know that soon enough.
Christmas represents everything that is beautiful about childhood.
I will encourage my children, when they get here, to believe. I think in my heart I still do even as a grown woman.
I’m with Maralise — some of my best friends are imaginary (Anne, Jo, Aerin, Harry, Scout, Atticus, Janie . . . ). Truth isn’t always literal.
Maralise, I love your passion!
Kalli, perfect summary.
Amber, good middle ground.
Scott and Emily, your side need representation too.
However, Folks, life is hard enough with it’s realities!
Please lets just keep as much fun, fantasy, and figment floating about!
And, I love to remember that everybody is entitled to their opinion.
My opinion remains.
Ho ho ho, Merry Christmas!
Amber, I didn’t lose trust in my parents when I learned about Santa. However, I did feel exceptionally foolish and naive for having believed in the first place. I think that, depending on your age and maturity, it does have an effect on how you perceive faith and belief.
pjb, thanks for the nod. I don’t know that it’s a question of exposing your kids to the harsh realities of life. I do, however, think it’s interesting to hear people talk about how betrayed and hurt they felt when they learned “the truth,” and then purposefully perpetuate that same betrayal with their own children.
There’s no reason why we can’t still have Santa without deception. Have fun with it, and let your children enjoy the anticipation that comes with the season. Let Santa have his place, but keep him on the sidelines instead of as the feature attraction. (I think that most people intend to keep Santa on the side, but in the end it just doesn’t happen unless he takes a more diminished role than is the norm in our society.)
When all is said and done, we’re dealing with traditions that bring families together. Each family will have their own, and will handle this issue differently. Each child is different and unique, and families will adjust their activities accordingly.
Matt, I agree with you that we do need to re-invent Santa to create something that is explicitly NOT what is fed to us by the media. But, I think I might argue that an alternate approach would be to make Santa mythic, powerful and flawed, the fodder of bedtime stories and fairy tales. The type of story that we as a people not only repeat but understand (not because of its reality, but because of what it teaches). I would love to be able to put myself in Santa’s shoes, to visit every country, every kind of child…in just one night. What would it be like to be able to understand another person’s deepest (and shallowest) desires, to be able to bend natural law and learn to fly with an unimaginably heavy load? In other words, even if we believe that Santa is fiction, which I’m assuming all of us do, what is his unique truth-telling power, one that he has specifically because he is indeed, not real.
Now obviously, these are adult concepts. Things that maybe we need maturity to understand. And maybe, if that’s the case, there might be a reason to create a myth that only children would or could believe. A primer of sorts for adult life, one that teaches a lesser form of what hopefully one day becomes empathy.
Mara–I have never thought before of the “unique truth-telling power” of Santa, or of Santa tales as a primer for that unique tale. I think I’ve never thought of Santa that way because he seems so often like a glorified commercialized wish-granter. I like your idea. I have no idea how I would have implemented it with my analytical son, who, at the age of four, after watching “Mr. Krueger’s Christmas,” grilled me in a very determined way about the connection between Jesus and Santa. He wanted to understand precisely how they were related and why we had both of them at Christmas. He would not take “the spirit of giving” or “Santa gives gifts just like the wise men gave Jesus gifts” for an answer. He could tell we were hedging and demanded that we tell him the connection.
He really thought that there must be some sort of religious connection between Santa and Jesus. He would not accept the bluffs we gave. We tried “what do you think,” etc., and finally, unable to stomach lying, we told him.
I think if we’d had a different child as our oldest, we could and would have played it differently, hedged for longer, never had to lie outright. But to answer his questions on that occasion, we would have had to lie. And, for us, the grander mythic truth of Santa (and I am not saying that sarcastically, although it reads a bit that way) did not win.
I think, as Matt said, that each family has to figure it out for themselves. Santa is the default for Christmas fun, but there are other options, and they can teach truth and create meaningful traditions too.
Emily M–I understand completely. I don’t think our ideas are mutually exclusive.
I actually tried not to encourage my kids to think Santa is real, and got the opposite result (as I described here).
The funny thing to me is that the parents’ religious belief level seems to have very little effect on whether they think it’s a good idea for kids to believe in Santa. I haven’t seen any real statistics on this, but looking around the Internet, I’ve seen that both believers and atheists fall into the same three camps: the “It’s fun, and where’s the harm?” camp, the “Why lie to your kids?” camp (where I’m at), and the “Santa teaches kids about faith” camp. Though for the third camp the take-home lesson is a little different — I’ve seen comments that are more like the following: “it gave me a sense of just how much we can desire something to be true even when it’s not. I later recalled how much I’d wanted Santa to be true when trying to understand why people insisted God was true,” and “I have encouraged my daughter to believe in Santa and the Tooth Fairy. Some would say that I shouldn’t do this because it would encourage her to not trust things authority figures say. Interestingly, this is exactly why I do it.”
p.s. I’m sorry if my above comment looks mean or snarky — it’s not meant that way. I just mean that (echoing Matt’s comment #6) there exist real live people who credit their childhood belief in Santa with teaching them that faith can bring warm feelings of joy but it can’t be trusted to give you accurate information. It’s just something to be aware of.
I just want to thank everyone for sharing their views. This subject is definitely multi-faceted and it has been enlightening to read the views of other parents. Obviously, everyone wants what is best for their kids and I’m glad to hear what works for you.
I just want to clarify, should anyone believe otherwise, that I am not leaving my children’s entire education on faith in the palm of the ‘legend of Santa.’ At this point in their young lives, it is hard to differentiate between believing in Jesus, believing in Santa and believing the sun will come up tomorrow. It is all just believing. So, I’m hoping that through ALL the teaching and experimenting and loving and learning we do together, that, in the end, the result will be faith in that which IS true, and happy memories of a young life filled with wonder and the magic of the Christmas season.
Merry Christmas!