For Experience
Posted by c jane/Courtney K. | December 20, 2006 | 49 Comments
We lost a dog yesterday, on purpose.
Our most-of-the-time unbeloved dog Dutchy who we have not been honored to have for a year and a half was left at the pound yesterday.
To date, it was the hardest decision we’ve ever made, and mind you, we’re house owners.
She was such a bad, bad dog. She escaped everyday, except the days where we watched her every move. Have you ever watched a dog for an entire day? Not fun, my friends, not fun. When you let her off the triple muscled leash we had to concoct, she would jump on you and then lick every exposed body part with her tongue that smelled like carcass. She dug every inch of our lawn. She brought back stuffed crap from her adventures around the neighborhood and shredded them to a slow and painful death until we had balls of cotton in the rose bushes and grapevines (Winter in July!). She followed petrified kids home from school. I’ve found her at schools, restaurants, hotels and trailer parks. And she had a tendency to bite our other sweet dog Ralph on his ear which caused horrible bleeding. One time it was his eye.
Every time my phone rang, or the door bell sounded I was sure it was bad news about Dutch. This is because it was mostly the case. One morning, around 7am, an older man came to the door and looked as though he was going to burst into an emotional anxiety ridden tirade. Which he almost did.
“Your dog escapes from the back fence and runs out in to traffic. She’s almost been hit. She’s almost caused other people to get hit. I want you to know.”
I think that most dreadful of all, she caused emotions from my husband that I’ve never seen before. Frustration? Yes. Disappointment? Yes. Annoyance? Oh very much yes. He spent so much time feeling sorry for the things that flew out of his mouth at that dog that I really wondered if therapy might be needed.
And so it was last Saturday, as we were getting ready for a Christmas party, Dutch ran away for the third time that day. By Sunday morning she had not returned. I went outside to check on Ralph who was playing in the snow, obviously not shattered by the absence of his wicked little sister. I felt peaceful, Dutch was gone and that was that. I felt no need to look for her, or call her hotspots. Something told me all was well.
But she didn’t come back that night, nor did she on Monday. No one called, no one came to the door with a wet dog asking if I was the (un)lucky owner. It was the best two days that we had known in a long while. I didn’t wake up with a panic wondering if she was on her leash or following a kindergartener to school. Ralphy jumped around in the back yard and rolled around in the snow. Most of all, my husband’s aura spelled, unadulterated peace. He was like an entirely different man!
But soon pride seeped in to my brain and I started to wonder what people would think of me if I let my dog run away and and not care of the outcome. Was this a type and shadow of my future parenting? Was I a quitter? Could I not handle difficult situations?
So it was that I asked my husband to try and locate Dutch at the animal shelter. I couldn’t let it alone. Not that I wanted her back, I just wanted to be able to sleep at night knowing that I at least inquired.
Dutch was found yesterday in the quarantine section of the pound. My husband called me to let me know while I was at a lunch party.
“We have a decision to make.” He said quietly. “It’s fifty dollars to bring her home. It’s fifty dollars to keep her here. She will most likely die if we do that.” His voice cracked. Now this dog, that had caused such anxiety, pain and wasted emotional energy was sitting in a cage asking for our grace. We wanted to leave her. We wanted to be done. But the downfall of being human, as advanced a species we are, is that we have a hard time not humanizing everything else. This was a dog, not a daughter.
I got off the phone to consult with my two friends (Segullah friends!) Justine and Kylie.
“What would you do?” I asked desperate for advice.
“I would leave her there.” Said Justine empathtically. “And I love dogs.”
“I would leave her there too.” Said Kyle. “We have enough problems in our lives, that we don’t need to choose to have them.”
They were right. I believed fate had stepped in and given us an opportunity to let a BIG problem go. And if she died, I really believed that Heavenly Father was telling me, in my heart, that there would be a place for her to run and run and never cause traffic accidents on busy roads. Everything would work out.
My poor husband was the one who had to sign a bunch of papers and give them to a lady who didn’t seem to care about the awful decision because she was too worried that typing too fast might chip her acrylics. He said that he tried not to cry, but he did, and he cried for the better part of the evening.
I’m often uncomfortable with the “what would Jesus do?” contemplation. Most of the time it’s because I don’t know what he would do. He was perfect! I have no idea what a perfect person even does! But I do know this, Jesus would do the will of his father. And I can do that. So when I prayed to know if I should leave my dog at the pound to most likely die in a small gas chamber and I felt, confidently, that the answer was “yes” then that, I must understand, is what Jesus would do.
And that is how we lost our dog yesterday.
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December 20th, 2006 @ 3:11 pm
A hard decision indeed. Undoubtedly you will here from someone, telling you that you are heartless, but since when has anyone ever been able to please everyone? Losing a pet, even a bad one, is hard for most people.
My dad has had to [personaly] put down a few animals/ pets [his or someone else's] in his life. He’s not the biggest animal lover, yet each time it has been a challenge and more than once, he has shed a tear for the animal.
December 20th, 2006 @ 3:29 pm
I am sending you and Chup big hugs. Hard decision, hard day.
You made my yesterday better, though. May Ralph now slobber in blissful solitude, with both ears intact.
December 20th, 2006 @ 3:39 pm
I am with Justine, and am also sending you and Chup big hugs. That is a heartbreaking story, and I know bad dogs! We left our Beagle “Scout” in SLC with a friend when we moved to FL! She was a bad dog.
I would try to focus on the Holiday Season…focus on the LV Bowl…focus on that present from Chup within the see-through wrapping paper…and focus on how much safer you’ll feel when Baby Kendrick comes one day and not having a bad dog around it!
December 20th, 2006 @ 5:09 pm
I have a very stinky but cute turtle that may or may not carry salmonella that I am trying to find a tactful way to get rid of. Any ideas?
Note to self: Never, ever buy a turtle in China Town, no matter how cute they may look.
December 20th, 2006 @ 6:24 pm
Courtney- there is no room for crappy dogs in this world. This mostly includes dogs that bite people and other dogs. Euthenasia (sp?) was invented for dogs like dutchess. Bye bye, good riddance to crappy dogs. If you can’t enjoy the pet, get rid of it. Fortunately my dog is a sweetheart and he keeps me from watching an extra hour of tv everyday. Bring ralph over and I’ll take you on a beautiful walk along the provo river to look at peoples xmas lights.
December 20th, 2006 @ 6:26 pm
why the heck am i crying right now? you good writer, you. i just love that last para.
December 20th, 2006 @ 6:45 pm
When we moved from Phoenix to Utah, we decided to find a new home for our two dogs. I had struggled with both dogs the entire time we owned them, but when they left with their new owners, I bawled. Then about a month before we moved, we received a letter in the mail from the Humane Society. One of our dogs had been found and since they were computer-chipped, they contacted us. We had to decide what to do. Should we go pick it up? In the end, we did nothing. We decided that as were no onger the owners, and we didn’t have the new owners number, it was not our responsibilty. I have to say that I wonder which dog it was, and whether it found a new home or was euthenized? I think it is hard to say “goodbye” no matter if you are talking about a friend or a pet. We humans have big hearts.
December 20th, 2006 @ 7:14 pm
I don’t love dogs, but I’m sorry you lost yours, crappy or not. (And I’m proud of you.)
December 20th, 2006 @ 7:59 pm
I’m so sorry. That’s hard thing. I love dogs and my children beg us for a dog–which is hard for me because I believe deep down that every kid should have a dog sometime during his or her childhood. But I also know in my heart of hearst that we are not in the right place emotionally or financially to deal with those tough decisions.
(Besides, I am a wimp. Once when we were very very poor I was trying to figure out how to come up with the $40 it would’ve cost to put my dying pet rat out of her misery. I considered not feeding my children so I could put the rat to sleep. I ended up crying like a baby for the entire 30 minutes it took her to die. Can you imagine me with a dog?)
I’m sorry.
December 20th, 2006 @ 8:03 pm
I do believe there are such things as crappy dogs, but I also believe there aren’t as many out there as we would like to believe. We humans make dogs neurotic and weird, mostly by “humanizing” them, as you talked about.
Some dogs, though, take WAY more effort than they’re worth. I really think you could have made her into a good dog, but it probably would have 3-5 hours of exercise a day, (she sounds high energy, and I’m not kidding about having to run for that long) some serious money spent on dog training, and probably still a watchful eye for most of the time. In my book, that’s not worth it. She a DOG, not your daughter.
I have been a dog lover all my life, but the fact is that they are NOT people, nor are they equal to people. Letting a dog go is not the most horrific thing you can do. You must first protect your sanity, your family, and your neighborhood. Also, I think if a dog bites, she is GONE. And viciousness with other dogs is not a good sign. If she hadn’t bitten yet, she likely would have. And that is not something you want to deal with.
Plus, if you are going to have a baby, it’s a very good thing this dog is not around.
December 20th, 2006 @ 8:48 pm
I’ve been in a similar quandry, however I chose to keep the dog out of guilt. She ended up escaping for the millionth time and got hit head-on by a car. Now, I’ve worked in an animal hospital and I’ve seen animals “put down”…believe me when I say that being “put down” is far less traumatic for everyone involved (including the driver of the car, the people who witnessed it, ME!) There are far worse fates a dog could suffer, and you gave it a year and a half…that’s a solid college try pal! Take a deep breath and let the peace breathe back into your life!
December 20th, 2006 @ 10:25 pm
I’m with Wiz. We have four dogs and they are all mentally ill in some way. They behave better as they get older, though, honest. They take a lot of time and work.
I’m wondering about the breed of dog you had. Some dogs just need more stimulation than others and are really hyper puppies.
I do understand your decision, I think. Sometimes we wish our dog (s) would get run over by a bus. On the other hand, I would be positively bereft if I didn’t know where they were. My husband is a total dog lover.
We have a purebred Jack Russell puppy. Now that’s a lot of dog. I regularly pay little kids to try to wear him out. I regularly cuss at him.
There’s just something in me that would worry if he was getting good care, though. A mentally ill person for a mentally ill dog. (s).
But, you know, sometimes I think our lives would be sooooo much more peaceful without four crazy dogs. I know my neighbors’ lives would be more peaceful.
December 20th, 2006 @ 10:27 pm
Honestly, I was always kind of scared of Dutchess.
But, I am sorry. Really.
December 20th, 2006 @ 11:13 pm
I feel your pain. Ethan convinced me 2 summers ago that we needed a Lab. (We already had a chihuahua and a cat.) Me, loving my husband said, “OK, honey” She was a beautiful black gal. But she grew and grew and then I got pregnant again. I couldn’t imagine being on bedrest and dealing with this crazy animal dog. We just couldn’t walk her enough. Our backyard was a mess. She shedded EVERYWHERE. And she had terrible gas. She loved to bark, causing Tysie (our chihuey) to bark. But she was sweet and would be so nice to Kade, so I couldn’t be too mean to her.
I begged Ethan to ask his parents if they would take her. We packed up the Subaru and off we drove to Montana in January. I only lasted 6 months with her. I cried when my brother said goodbye to her. I cried when we left her there after the weekend. I felt like the biggest jerk in the world for ditching our dog.
But guess what? Turns out, she’s WAY better off. My inlaws walk her twice a day. She acquired a boyfriend (my sister-in-law brought her yellow Lab to MT to live too) She gets a treat allowance every week, and McD’s hamburgers. She runs and runs.
And me? I got over my guilt and have felt peace about it. I am so glad we made that decision. Though Ethan and my brother now call me “The dog hater” (And Davey and Megan are mad that Captain couldn’t get with her)
I hope you are ok w/o your dog. Tell Chup sorry too.
December 20th, 2006 @ 11:34 pm
You just described all the anxiety that keeps me from EVER wanting to own a pet. I was talking with some friends last night about pets. I told them I never want a pet. They said pets are good preparation for having kids. But none of them have kids, so I am not convinced. Kids are a life commitment. Dogs are not.
December 21st, 2006 @ 12:30 am
Yeah, I nearly choked on my spit when some (childless) friends of mine talked about how they knew they’d be able to handle a baby because they already had 2 dogs that required midnight trips to the backyard/potty.
I’m sorry about Chuch.
December 21st, 2006 @ 3:35 am
A very hard decision indeed. We were once in the same sort of situation with our cute but out-of-control, over-grown Sammy. We tried the obedience school, etc. but nothing seemed to work. We were at our wits end. Then one day Sammy “ran away” (so the kids believed) and never came back. To this day, Lee won’t talk about Sammy because he thinks the worst happened to him but I choose to believe that someone came and adopted him because he was so darn cute. Who knows… but you did the right thing because it was what felt right. Dutchess will be fine no matter what happens to her. I’m sorry you had to deal with this though. It is a hard thing. But I agree with Rachel…dogs are not a life commitment.
December 21st, 2006 @ 9:57 am
This was much needed therapy! Thank you so much everyone for your advise and wisdom. Life does go on…
December 21st, 2006 @ 10:51 am
Has anyone read “Marley and Me”?
It is about a crazy, psycho yellow lab and it is a laugh-out-loud tear-jerker. Unbelievable how much trouble a dog can get into, but you can’t help but love him. I highly recommend it, dog lover or not.It is delightful.Disclaimer-there is swearing.
I have a puppy and five kids and believe you me, dogs are a thousand times easier than kids. -except for maybe crappy dogs and then–opt for the kid. (they bite less and don’t chase cars and buses)
Oh, yeah, you can stick the dog in a kennel when you go out. Something you could never do with a child. They don’t talk back and do give great kisses. -of course my four y.o. has pretended he’s a cat for a year now. Though I can’t leave him alone for hours at a time and he doesn’t shed, I feel pretty experienced with the pet thing.
So, Courtney, I would have done the same thing, if it makes you feel any better. Some dogs just aren’t worth having. Peace, Sister.
December 21st, 2006 @ 12:47 pm
Courtney, don’t let me mislead you. We’ve gotten rid of a couple of dogs and a couple of cats, as well, that just wouldn’t work for us as pets. Can you console yourself with the fact that most shelters are leaning towards a no-kill policy and hitting adoption heavily?
We loved Marley and Me! We own his evil twin. We have two big dogs and two little dogs. And I really really believe our lives would be much more peaceful without them.
December 21st, 2006 @ 1:09 pm
You need to get yourself to a library and pick up this book. The author spent years with this dog, trying to rehabilitate him, even going as far as to move to a farm. Yet, at some point, he had to decide what to do as a responsible pet owner.
I am so, so sorry. I know you loved her and yet she was so frustrating. You did your best. You loved her no matter what.
December 22nd, 2006 @ 1:58 pm
Just this morning our Jack Russell started tearing into the other dogs for no reason. Now two of those dogs could bite him in half with one bite. He’s got the muzzle on as we speak. Dogs are hard.
I looked up this thing on the internet where you put a shock collar on them and use a remote to shock them when they don’t do what you want. It sounds cruel, but I think it makes for a good pet. My neighbor did it with her Jack Russell and he’s a pretty good dog now. But they’re quite expensive.
I can just see my little dog getting ready to tear into another dog and I push the button and he flips over a few times and lays on the grass. Heh, heh. You have to know this dog to enjoy the thought.
December 23rd, 2006 @ 12:36 pm
We have had to put 2 dogs down, including one who was just a puppy. Both of them were aggressive, and both bit people. One seriously bit a small child. Luckily the parents did not sue us, but only because the dad grew up with dogs and figured it wasn’t the dog’s fault (yeah, right!) Actually, it probably really wasn’t the dog’s fault, it was probably ours. Still, it was pretty hard decision both times.
Since then, I have tried to do some research about dogs, personality traits, and what really makes a good dog owner. And, of course, Cesar Milan (the Dog Whisperer!)and his book have been incredibly eye opening. I think we are better dog owners for it, and we have a dog now that is working out pretty well. She is a huge black lab that loves to be loved. However, if she is not run to exhaustion, she gets destructive. Yeah, we have some rebuilding to do in our backyard, too.
But when I look back on those other two dogs, and the mistakes we made with them, I realize that we weren’t in a position to do what we needed to do to make them good dogs. Emotionally, physically, environmentally, we just couldn’t give it to them. And we paid the price. And we know darn well that the price could have been a lot highter.
Bottom line–if you can’t give a dog what it needs, you need to get rid of the dog. It sounds like this dog had especially HIGH (and perhaps slightly psychotic!) needs, and you paid the price. And it sounds like it was definitely time to get rid of the dog. You did the right thing.
And your dog experience bears absolutely no resemblance to your parenting skills because of this simple fact: Dogs are not humans. You are not their parents. They are not flesh of your flesh.
Marley and Me is a cute book, but the humanization of Marley in the book really bothered me. Let me say it again. Dogs are not human. Period. You can not use human psychology to try to understand them, or to try and meet their needs. They are animals. It was also clear that Marley, despite all the love lavished on him by the author, had absolutely no respect whatsoever for his owners, and was in complete control and domination of the entire household. Frankly, it was a little sad.
January 12th, 2007 @ 10:49 am
[...] Oh, and Segullah readers, take note. How you deal with a dog bears little or no relationship to how you parent. Why? Because dogs are not, despite what Oprah says, people with fur. Trust me. Here are just a few examples of why your dogs are not people. [...]
November 4th, 2008 @ 10:24 am
It would have been kinder to take the dog to a vet and have her euthanized. She would have been with you at the end and not have had to suffer for your mistake by dying alone at the pound.
November 4th, 2008 @ 12:07 pm
Wow. That’s pretty cold and irresponsible. I’m surprised by all the supportive sentiments expressed here. I disagree that God would think it’s the right thing to kill/abandon a dog because it is an inconvenience to you. What about the “God loves all creatures great and small” saying?
November 4th, 2008 @ 12:55 pm
Agree, CMW. It wasn’t the dog’s fault that she was untrainable, and she didn’t deserve to end up this way.
November 4th, 2008 @ 1:36 pm
Did anyone actually try to train the dog? Did it ever go to classes? They’re really not that big of a time commitment.
November 4th, 2008 @ 7:00 pm
What I find most strange is your need to bring Jesus into the discussion and to console yourself with the belief that Jesus would have been ok with your decision…or would have done the same thing himself. Really? How self-serving.
November 4th, 2008 @ 9:55 pm
WOW! I recently found Courtney’s blog and must admit that I was sooooooooo taken in by her sense of honor, of loyalty of faith and of strength. I am not someone who believes that an animal’s life is of the same value as a human’s but, they are living beings and god’s creatures. Was there an attempt to have the dog professionally trained? Was there an attempt to find someone else to adopt the dog?
November 4th, 2008 @ 10:45 pm
To say that I am shocked by the attitude of so many here is an understatement! To hear you love God and all Gods creatures and then show the most disrespect for life…wow, just wow…
When you get an animal….any animal…that is a life long commitment. Did God say He would never forsake us?
When you decided to take care of a life you take care of that life. You do not take it to the pound and hope for the best or are grateful that it ran off and are making up a story you can live with in your mind.
Dogs may not be human but they have been given life by the same God that makes our hearts beat and our bodies love the air we breathe. To disrespect that is very sad and selfish to me.
November 5th, 2008 @ 12:56 am
This is a very old post and Courtney is not available for comment at this time. Because of that, I’m going to close comments on this thread (Edited to add: I’ve reopened comments upon learning that Courtney actually linked to this post from her blog…sorry for the preemption). And in the future, please keep in mind our commenting guidelines.
1. The aim of Blog Segullah is to highlight a variety of women’s perspectives within a framework of shared beliefs and values. Commenters need not be members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, but a general respect for religious belief is required.
2. No insults. Please critique the argument, not the person.
3. No excessive diversion (or creating a threadjack) from the intended subject of the author.
3. Comments which violate these standards may be removed at the discretion of the Editorial Board.
November 5th, 2008 @ 12:57 am
A tough call for sure, just as you expressed. I’m not sure what I would have done in the same situation – when it so directly affected my family. Each family, pet and situation is so unique. I appreciate your honesty in the telling. And I feel that it is possible for us to each reach past the “easter cupcake wrappers” of whether or not we feel something is exactly the way we would do it and just enjoy that friendship bread like Stephanie taught. Love my friend, pure love.
November 5th, 2008 @ 9:28 am
I am glad to see that the ability to leave comments has been turned back on. While I agree that some of the recent posts have not totally followed the commenting guidelines and I am a STRONG believer in Stephanie’s sense of friendship I also feel it is important that an alternative perspective be presented.
13 years ago we adopted our dog from a rescue shelter. I well remember the stress of training her and wondering what I had gotten myself into. Having children myself, at the time I often was frustrated that I had taken on another commitment that was absorbing my time and energy. Today, I am once again challenged by caring for her. She has cataracts and significant arthritis. And this creature who for 12 years never had an accident in our home is causing me to scrub floors on a daily basis. Just this morning, I told my husband that if I woke up one more time to the smell of urine I was going to SCREAM. And yet I know that caring for her is an honor and priviledge. I find myself being gentle and loving in a new way for I know that I am helping her live out the end of her life in peace and comfort. She who has given so much joy to my family deserves nothing less.
November 5th, 2008 @ 9:30 am
I have to agree with Becky, not sure what I would have done in that situation. I have experienced a “bad” dog, and I have had grown children who have as well. It is a difficult thing for sure.
Thanks for sharing, I found myself laughing and crying as I related to your story!
You are a good person, and I think that going to your Heavenly Father is always the best thing. He has the ability to understand that which we as humans can not.
November 5th, 2008 @ 9:54 am
I am pulled in 2 directions – as I find myself whenever someone I care about does something that I believe was not the right thing. Having read ALL of the author’s personal blog because I am just crazy about her writing, her perspective on life and her sense of humor I want to hug her and assure that what she did was ok and that all is ok. The other part of my brain is gently reminding me that someone can do something that is not ok with me and still be a wonderful person…to suggest otherwise is silly at best. Though I have only met they author through her written word I want to protect her, especially at so difficult a time when she has quite literally turned her life inside out to care for others. At the same time, I understand the comments that struggle with the actual action (or non action) that was taken regarding this puppy and was uncomfortable after reading this article not only with the article but, with the comments which all suggested that the action taken was ok. The question is can one give a hug of support and share their discomfort at the same time…in the same comment.
November 5th, 2008 @ 11:40 am
I have a wonderful, delightful, totally beloved dog. She is also an escape artist. She has learned how to climb the eight foot fence I hate but installed to keep her safe. I fear for her and for others (as she runs in to traffic, not because of any aggression) when she is running free, and she doesn’t even get out as often as this dog did.
Our job is to love our dogs and do our best to take care of them. But when they start endangering human lives, either by aggressive or disobedient behavior, human lives have to take precedence in my view.
One last note: we don’t know what happened to Dutch. My dog came from the pound. At first, we could not imagine why anyone wouldn’t be looking hard for such a sweet, wonderful, loving creature. Three escapes later, we understood. I don’t know why her last family gave her up. The way she runs, she just might have been too darned far for them to have thought to ask our pound if she was there. I pray often that they are not haunted by questions of what happened to their dog.
Of course, chances are not good that Dutch was adopted. But you never know. Such a hard decision either way.
November 5th, 2008 @ 11:40 am
I agree with Susan about feeling pulled in two directions.
I love the author’s writing and generally love her perspective, but I found this post, especially the ending, horrifying. I don’t think this decision needed to be justified by claiming that Jesus would have done the same thing. That part in particular seemed so very wrong to me.
November 5th, 2008 @ 6:23 pm
I just feel like this situation took place so long ago. What is going to be accomplished by trying to insult and criticize her decision. If you don’t agree then move on. It was in the past and nothing you say is going to change the situation. Why personally attack someone unless you live a perfect life. I know, I know..if you could advise someone else. No one is perfect so lets not be so judgemental. I have a dog and I chuckled at her experiences because some days I wish for the same thing!!
November 5th, 2008 @ 6:45 pm
Becky,
What I enjoy most about Segullah is that a “variety of women’s perspectives” are heard and that comments focus on the “argument not the person.” Except for one or 2, the comments do focus on the issue and not the person. The issue for me is one’s responsibility to pets. I generally go through life trying to focus on lessons learned instead of having regrets. I read the post (for the very first time today because just yesterday the author asked readers of her blog to read it by placing a link to it on her blog) and feel that it is worthwhile to share with others that people who are having a difficult time coping with pets have many alternatives. That, I believe is a lesson learned and a valuable one to share — as many recent posters did.
(It feels to me that any statement that is not 100% full of approval and praise is at risk of being labeled an insult or attack. In order for their to be different perspectives there has to be different opinions.)
November 5th, 2008 @ 9:45 pm
Courtney provided the link to this site, thereby re-opening the topic herself. She is manifestly a strong person and will benefit from the views expressed here. Respectful disagreement with someone’s actions–especially in a moral cause–should not be considered an attack. Since Courtney is two decades younger than I, I feel that it was appropriate to express disagreement with a position I feel she hasn’t thought through clearly. I believe that we have an absolute responsibility to *all* God’s creatures and that commitments we make to pets must be honored. If my post ruffles some feathers–but saves another dog from being impounded–it will have been worth it.
November 5th, 2008 @ 10:04 pm
I have one blind, deaf, and “leaky” old dog and another dog who’s had $7,000 worth of surgery that we really couldn’t afford. I agree with Caroline: To see these old friends through to the end is an honor. I’m sure it’s what God calls us to do.
November 6th, 2008 @ 12:49 pm
Wow. That must have been a really tough decision.
I guess my whole thing is, IF I ever get a dog, I will be fully ready, willing, and prepared to hire trainers and devote as much time and effort as necessary to properly training/exercising it, so such a situation as this doesn’t arise. It seems that maybe that was not how your family approached it, and ended up getting burned from that decision.
I just think that if you get the dog, the dog is then your responsibility until either it dies, or if you don’t think you can keep it because of your sanity, then find it a home with a family who is willing to devote the time to re-train it appropriately. But I subscribe to Cesar’s philosophy that there’s no bad dog, just owners who don’t know how to train them…
But I understand that was a very tough decision. I think if it had been me, and I’d gone through that much for that long, I’d have taken the dog to a no-kill shelter.
November 6th, 2008 @ 2:36 pm
An estimated 9.6 million animals are euthanized in the United States every year.
No kill shelter does not mean that no animals are euthanized.
Animals are killed for many reasons at no kill shelters. Illness and lack of socialization being two of the main ones. Shelters are very, VERY, stressful for animals. They often go in healthy and end up with a variety of problems which lead to them being put down.
Your nice social pet may not be so nice when they are at the shelter, being deemed not social is a death sentence.
Shelters are there for the animals who truly need them, not as an easy out for people who cant deal with it any more. (I am sure some will disagree about the decision to surrender you pet as easy. It is much easier than what your trusting pet is going through.)
-Christine, owner of 2 very difficult dogs, and many fury inducing cats.
November 6th, 2008 @ 3:02 pm
Thank you all for your comments. Because this is an old post and Courtney is unavailable for comment (for obvious reasons), I’m going to close comments in 24 hours (by Friday afternoon). That should give everyone time to comment that would like to.
November 6th, 2008 @ 7:01 pm
I usually believe things happen for a reason. And so, I believe that it is quite possible that the re-visiting of this post was meant to be. Perhaps it was meant to be that the first group of people who commented on her story would give her hugs. And perhaps it was meant to be that years later, when the time was right, Courtney herself would ask others to read it and comment so that a new understanding could be brought to light.
November 7th, 2008 @ 2:56 am
While I believe that fate and faith guide us through life, and that, through the power of prayer, we can find the right path- I find it difficult to see a path that would lead to this decision.
God wants us to take responsibilities for our decisions, be they right or wrong. When we sin, we can only move past it, and not repeat it, by recognizing it and facing the consequences.
I was taught, through the church, about the sanctity of life. I remember asking about animals, and if they have souls. While the answer I received did not leave me completely satisfied, I left with the overwhelming feeling that they do have a presence that we, as their guardians, are requested to protect.
If I were in the same position, while I can completely understand your need to remove this dog from your life, I can imagine that my approach would be quite different. Knowing that death by gas chamber is considered an awful way to die by human right advocates and animal rights advocates, I would probably have taken the dog to the vet for humane euthanization if a proper home could not be found. Prior to that, I would attempt to find the dog a home by contacting local animal adoption agencies, preferably no-kill, attending adoption days, and advertising in local media (craigslist, pennysaver, newspaper).
While some might argue that it seems like a lot of a trouble for a dog, it was a responsibility undertaken from the moment the person chose the dog/puppy as their own. As the only person looking out for the interest of an innocent/ward, it is our responsibility, as owners, to take charge of the animals fate and to, within the best of our ability, guide it to a right and proper path/end.
November 7th, 2008 @ 10:07 am
I find this an interesting thread. Not one of us can (or should anyway) stand in judgment of another. Of course we can think about what we “might” do in similar circumstances, but the truth is that there really aren’t identical circumstances for anybody. We all go through life experiencing different things in different ways. Even if we are participants in the same exact experience, at the same exact moment (in a particular Sacrament Mtg., for instance), our own perceptions give us a unique perspective on what we felt and thought, different from what the person sitting next to us may think or feel.
Therefore, we cannot judge Courtney’s decision because, no matter whether we’ve been faced with something similar, we do not live in her shoes and see life through her unique glasses. I like to give everyone the benefit of the doubt, that at that particular moment in time they were doing their best given all they know and feel. It may be different than our best, but it is THEIR best. Thank heaven we don’t have to judge them, and in fact, have been COMMANDED not to! We’re off the hook. We can hear of another’s experience and have no obligation whatsoever to make a judgment about them. We can, of course, think through what WE might do in a similar set of circumstances, but even then, sometimes we’re wrong about ourselves. We surprise ourselves at many turns, feeling and behaving differently than we actually thought we would.
Even though I am an animal ADORER, particularly of dogs, and happen to be an empath (I can physically feel their pain), I understand that each person is doing their best at that moment, and in the end, God makes it all okay because the Atonement covers animals as well as it covers us. And that, my friends, is how we all survive in this world!
November 7th, 2008 @ 2:23 pm
Passing judgment on an action is not the same as judging a person. Presumably you would not say it’s wrong to criticize someone who abandoned a child. I grant that we all experience things in different ways, but perception is different from action. And people should speak up to prevent future actions they “judge” as morally wrong. Whether it all evens out in Heaven or not, we live here.