Post Pardon

dir segullah,

i know i told you that i would postthis morning but, thing is . . .
(let me switch the baby to the other shoulder)
(typing one handed ishard exclamation point)
i tried posting late last night
(or was it early morning question mark)
and i fell asleep with the laptop staring back at me.

then i tried to post this morning but, thing is . . .
(crying because i love my baby so much)
my time is somehow being absorbed by other tasks
(post-circumcision care)
(leak control)
making it hard to sit one place
for very long
before there is some thing/some one
(wait, sprinkler repairman at the door))
that distracts me so that i can’t post.

but there is something i really wanted to say,
it is what i feel so strongly in my heart
so important for me to share
and the very reason i keep
and trying
and trying
to post is:

(hold on, i’ve got visitors)

what was i saying question mark


26 thoughts on “Post Pardon

  1. The funny thing is, you never stop crying because you love your baby so much. Even when they are smelly teenagers who roll their eyes at you.

  2. never have we met, yet I look forward to reading your words. ESPECIALLY since the Chief arrived. I’m so happy for you, what an amazing, sweet, tiring time in life.
    You asked in a previous post “how soon till I can do it all again” Six weeks my dear! until then, relax and enjoy that new baby smell!

  3. What Jennie said.

    And thanks for posting cjane–you are amazing.

    I hope you get some sleep.

    p.s. I just got Laura’s comment and it made me laugh out loud.

  4. I’m so happy for you (and amazed you can type that well at this point!) Congratulations!

  5. Congratulations! My friends and I even have an acronym to explain away the bad typing. NAK= nursing at keyboard. Believe me– you’ll be a pro soon!

  6. I remember making a Peanut Butter sandwich one handed while holding my very tiny little girl. I was so proud of myself. It’s amazing all the things that you will learn to do with one hand. Oh yeah, your toes also come in very handy for picking up that burp rag that falls to the floor while you’re burping your baby. What???? You mamas all know that you’ve done it too!

    Congratulations again cjane! I am so very happy for you.

  7. Nuzzle that peach-fuzz head and take a deep whiff of that “fresh from heaven” sent for me, would ya!? Who needs sleep when you have that? And hmmm…in all my one-handed typing days I never thought to type out the question marks and exclamation points…so clever, no shift key needed. I’m noting that for any future wee ones I may have!

  8. I love this Cjane. It’s so perfect that you get interrupted enough to forget what ‘important’ thing you were going to say. That is SOOO motherhood.

  9. Cjane,
    We have never met, but I found your writing through Segullah, and I became a lurking fan of your blog, too embarrassed to post a comment because we have absolutely no connection. I love your writing, and I have so enjoyed your posts about your life and especially about your pregnancy. Tears came to my eyes when I read the Chief was born. Congratulations — I’m so happy for you!

  10. Cjane,
    I’m delurking here. I think you’re fabulous! And I want to say congratulations on your new baby.
    I do remember those first days/weeks/months of motherhood. I remember my dad walked in the door a day after I got home from the hospital and I burst into tears crying. He said,”what’s wrong?” and I laughed and said, “I have no idea.” He then chuckled and said, “Postpartum.”

    I’m afraid that this (forgetting what to say) still happens to me. But my kids are still young, so I haven’t reached the remembering years yet. Or is there such a thing?
    (Oh please tell me there is.)

  11. Good news on the forgetting thing. Turns out that a woman’s brain gets measurably smaller when she gets pregnant, BUT around six months postpartum your brain regains its normal size. Then, if you can get good sleep, you might feel human again! Congrats CJane!

  12. Wow, everyone else seems to be posting about motherhood and the joy of having a small baby. I just wanted to comment that your poetry is wonderful. It is ee cummings style but with the mother perspective. Just lovely.

  13. as a mom nursing at keyboatd- I heard you! my husband bought me dragon naturally speaking dictation software (which is very good!!) for mothers day after hearing bemoan my tortured one handed typing/blogging.

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