I have many thoughts on this but not enough capacity to put them together so I’m just going to say thanks for this post. I loved it.

I had an experience with this with our previous ward. A woman was on her second round of cancer. The family asked us all to pray and fast, and had us ask for specific things…really detailed.

This woman died. I learned much from the process. One of the things was the peace that came from knowing — KNOWING — that it had to be God’s will because I have NEVER experienced that kind of faith coming together all at once. By the end, she was ready to go. Her husband finally reached that point, too, and within hours, she was gone.

My life will never be the same because we, as a ward and community, pounded on the doors of heaven in her behalf. Our ward was SO close after that, and I don’t think any of us will be the same because of that experience.

All of that said, I have struggled with these questions, and as someone who has health issues, I struggle with knowing what to pray about and for. I love the above comment of praying for such-and-such — or something better.

I am sensing that even asking these kinds of questions is part of what we can pray about and what we are to figure out. I think it’s not about getting a result, but about learning to really connect with heaven, to know when to pray with more faith for a specific end and when to really let go of our will and thoughts and let God guide. I think in the end, as someone said, we should strive to get to the point where it is given to us what we should ask. I think when we can pray like that, we can know that prayer is what it needs to be — because then our will is in line with His.

So, ultimately, as I think about it, I think the process is about getting to that point — to really be one with Him.

I think prayer is work, and the power of it is beyond our comprehension.

Just thinking about that, though, leaves me feeling really inadequate. But then again, I also have felt His mercy with the process, and helping me line upon line.

Whew. This has gotten me thinking a lot. Thanks.

Camille, your post touched my heart, you beared it all and in return I want to say that we support you.

So many great things have been said. If in anyway I can add it would be to say that I have had prayers answered. Recently it seems to come almost instantly in the form of a phone call. A few months ago I was in dispair, sobbing and hurting, and I pled with the Lord for help, to show me that he cared. The phone rang, it was my sister. Then the last two weeks I’ve had many encounters with doctors and on several occasions when I felt the door was shut, that no help would be forthcoming I prayed for help to get through it, to abide the trial. Sometime within the next day I received an unexpected call from a doctor with some kind of help. I don’t know why my prayers were answered in these particular ways but they were, plenty of other times they weren’t. I know many others have been praying for me and it has strengthened me. But my medical trial has not been taken away and from previous answers I know it won’t be. Part of my trial of faith is enduring those who see my faith as insufficient because I haven’t been healed. I know because of my relationship with the Lord that this isn’t what my medical trial is about.

Hasn’t anyone ever told you “thank you” for praying for them? That’s enough motivation to continue doing it for me.

As far as my prayers to the Lord, they have been somewhat lacking. I don’t know what to say most of the time besides ‘thank you for helping me get through this day, help me get through tomorrow, and bless those I love’.

I think that is why we must pray. We also need to pray to express gratitude for the things the Lord has given us. We need to pray to keep in touch with the spirit and to express faith.

I don’t think there is any requisite number of prayers for any particular blessing. An attitude of constant prayer indicating we understand our dependence on God is all that is required, and a mind set to accept the Lord’s will.

—-Jennie, I LOVE the SOS pad analogy. And I too have wondered A LOT about the prayer quota thing, especially as related to the role of temple prayer rolls. I think the phrase most often used there is something like “grant them the blessings they need.”

—-Angela, I love the reminder of Joseph Smith’s lone prayer. And I think we all struggle with
“thy will be done.” Neal Maxwell wanted so much to be submissive that he resisted praying to be healed of his cancer. His wife was going crazy because of his resignation. But he needed to be healed, and eventually was the first time so he could serve several more years before the cancer returned.

—-My mother-in-law has a great equivilent way of praying “thy will be done”. She says, “Please bless us with such-and-such OR SOMETHING BETTER.” She uses this in all sorts of practical situations. I once saw a grumpy rental car employee suddenly offer an amazing package that overmet our needs after she prayed this.

—-Arianne: Yes! The Book of Moses does say that when Moses was called, he was told that he would be stronger than many waters…kind of like his patriarchal blessing set up in advance one of the solutions for him…he knew his mission.

—-It seems possible to loosely categorize prayers (with plenty of overlap, exceptions, additions, etc.) into several categories.

CATEGORY A. Prayers for the lessening or abatement of conditions central to mortality: i.e. sickness, death, pain, infertility, poverty, etc. Since we came to earth specifically to experience [good and evil, pleasure and pain, joy and sorrow,] etc. then obviously the immediate, affirmative answer to all of these prayers would cheat us out of exactly what we came to learn. ULTIMATELY ALL of these prayers will be answered by Christ’s gift to us of resurrection. But in the meantime, it seems to me that the occasional granting of this kind of prayer serves several purposes: 1) to build our faith in his ULTIMATE ability to heal; 2) to remind us that he hears us and “is mindful of us” and loves us; and maybe 3) to unite us in love as we petition, and then in joy and faith when it can be granted. As you have all expressed above, I have no idea how heaven determines which of these prayers to grant and which to defer/delay until resurrection. This area of praying seems the most painful because it inherently tests our faith.

CATEGORY B. Prayers for spiritual gifts and blessings like strength, insight, submissiveness, charity, and so on. We seem to largely agree that these are nearly always granted, though with some variability as to timing and methods.

CATEGORY C. Prayers for the Lord to influence another person’s feelings, emotions, or agency. This seems related to categories A and B above, but I don’t have any other special insight about it except to acknowledge it. (Camille, when you resolve it, write us another post!)

CATEGORY D. Prayers for immediate direction or wisdom, particularly in doing the Lord’s work. I list this last only because it relates to my other thoughts. The maxim says, “If you want to see miracles, get involved in missionary work” or sometimes “family history work.” My current stage demands that I apply this prayer to mothering.

The idea here is that we pray something like this:

“Dear Father, I’m here and ready to work this morning; I’d like any and all direction thou hast to offer on how I can best serve thy children over the next few hours. Please show me how to balance my service to meet the needs of my children, my neighbors, my sisters, my husband, etc. The needs that seem most pressing to ME are ______(fill in the blank________ and it seems to me that I would appreciate thy help in such a way: ________(fill in the blank)_______ . If there is something better than this plan, then please steer me.”

At this point I sort of try the listening technique that MomMom describes above: talking out my thoughts as they occur to me. As the communication goes on, I frequently am reminded of someone or something I hadn’t thought of to begin with. And then I try to execute the plan until things happen for the best.

I find that this prayer, like prayer category B above, is nearly always answered, though with considerable variability as to timing and methods. As I pray my “reporting for duty” prayer, I tend to have a lot more joy in service that might otherwise be mundane or inconvenient. I also feel like I see the most miracles in this category. A recent example is when a lesson I prepared for institute suddenly morphed into a powerful lesson on an entirely different topic–an absolute miracle, given the direction in which I had (and hadn’t) prepared.

——–My last idea in this post is the crude (almost profane) and very limited analogy of comparing God’s parenting to mortal parenting. As a mom, I am too often shortsighted, impatient, grumpy, or capricious. Heavenly Father is none of those. So imagine a “perfect mom” who is wise and judicious and loving in the following analogy.

CATEGORY A PRAYERS:

–child comes asking for food
(sometimes granted, sometimes not…)
(depends on time of day, type of food, nutritional factors–all outside the comprehension of my child)

–child pleads to avoid immunization shots or homework
(not granted; for her own good)

—child wants a band-aid
(usually granted, but not always necessary)

—child wants to keep playing a little longer with his best friend, whose mother is calling him home (i.e. death) (sometimes granted, not usually)

CATEGORY B PRAYERS:

—-”Mom, I’m bored; what should I do until dinner?”
(Granted: “Read a book”–will she accept the direction?)

—-”Mom I feel sad” or “Mom do you love me?”
(Answered with love of various types)

—-”Mom, will you help me lift this?” (Yes.)

—-”Mom, teach me how to do this.” (Yes.)

—-”Mom, can you explain this scripture to me?”
(Yes. At her level, when possible)

CATEGORY C PRAYERS:

—-”Mom, James hit me! Make him be sorry!”
—-”Mom, make Addie play with me” or “share with me”
(complicated parenting involved here–I’m no expert)

CATEGORY D PRAYERS:

—-”Mom, how can I help you clean up the house?”
(ANSWERED!! NO DELAY)

—-”Mom, do you want me to babysit or take care of one of the little kids today?”
(YES! AND HOW! Answered–no delay)

Thanks for everyone’s tolerance of this grown-too-long post.