Comments on: A Divine Eye Roll

By: Malisa

Malisa — Fri, 04 Jun 2010 05:54:45 +0000

I personally don’t mind baby or bridal showers (unless I don’t know the person well). In fact, I have one tomorrow. I like to have the chance to celebrate a new life or a new union.

Each of us, young or old, has the opportunity to grow and learn on our own. One can be guided, inspired, and taught, but each individual must still learn most things for themselves. No one can force their wisdom or experience on another, as they are the fruits of a life lived. I think God sees us this way too, as individuals, each progressing in their own time (and sometimes not even in a linear fashion). I find no shame in living a life as it comes and giving others leeway to do the same.

I find happiness in the past when I can look back and realize that I made the best choice considering who I was and what I knew at the time.

And sometimes I find naivete refreshing. Perhaps this is because is makes room for my own.

By: Ann

Ann — Wed, 02 Jun 2010 17:22:29 +0000

I don’t find myself eye-rolling and getting irritated at baby showers and bridal showers since that sort of behavior is expected, but I do have a hard time with it in other situations. My book club is a mix of ages and stages, but at a recent meeting, the three most vocal people there were all new moms of toddlers. You can imagine how much of the book was actually discussed. Even though I have a toddler myself, I’m past that stage of needing to talk about my kids 24/7. I was at book club to escape my kids for the evening and talk about the book. No such luck. I ended up planning a book club lunch a few days later with another mama of older kids and a woman who doesn’t yet have kids, so we could actually discuss the book.

Nice post. Thanks.

By: Kerri

Kerri — Wed, 02 Jun 2010 16:25:07 +0000

I found this post interesting, because I so much love the circle of life and all of its stages (well, maybe except the pre-hormonal and hormonal freakouts of my teen and preteen. Those aren’t so pleasant.)

I love the optimism of newlyweds, the eye-opening experiences of new motherhood. I love remembering how I felt then and how I feel now and how much has changed and how much has not changed. I think about the trials in front of those younger than me and the way they’ll learn, and it makes me sad, but interested to see who they become.

But I ABSOLUTELY hate to think back on my silly times (which are many). I cringe a lot at a few specific memories. But I hate to think people judged me harshly due to my inexperience. I hope that as I give those around me the benefit of the doubt, they’ll give it to me as well.

By: Esdrow

Esdrow — Wed, 02 Jun 2010 14:32:54 +0000

Sat here, trying to think of an example…

I finally realized that every time I see a prenatal sonogram, the rolling-eyes happen naturally. And it isn’t something done out of envy or disgust — simply pure lack of interest to know how the ‘baby’ looks at 4 months IN the womb.

Anywho… Now I’ll be thinking of examples all day.

By: JM

JM — Wed, 02 Jun 2010 12:53:38 +0000

I am long past being a newlywed, and the time for babies is over at my house. Yet, I still get excited to hear of someone getting married or expecting a baby.
I love to listen to new moms worry over every little thing. For me, it isn’t about how their words add up compared to my hindsight, it’s about seeing that delight and enthusiasm for the good things in life that abounds in them. These were such wonderful times in my own life that I thoroughly enjoy seeing someone else experience them.
There’s also the part of me that remembers how the bitter, disillusioned, or just plain tired people around me detracted from the excitement of getting married. After so much “advice” that I was too young to get married ( at 24!), and marriage wasn’t that great, etc., I had to actively seek out people with a sunnier view. This experience has made me very purposefully express my excitement for the newly engaged. To disillusion them would be a crime. Besides, who wants to see a newlywed or a new parent feeling like it’s all really no big deal?
I think the great thing about life stages is that when we are in them, we are exactly where we are supposed to be. Maralise, I think you should look back on your days in these stages with much less disgust and embarrassment. You weren’t naive or annoying at all. You were simply enjoying your life, and that is a beautiful thing.

By: Lindsay

Lindsay — Tue, 01 Jun 2010 20:53:34 +0000

This post was rather sad for me. I liked the take-home message at the end, but the beginning was a bit too rife with passionate self-loathing (and, in turn, impatience for others) in the form of all caps. Particularly this: “I think of my poor mother, watching me go through these horrible and more importantly, ANNOYING stages of life…”

I suppose any stage of life could be considered annoying, or even horrible. But I think this view is sad. The newlywed years, horrible? Birth of first child, horrible? I, too, dislike “showers,” so I don’t attend them. If I do, I stay for a short time while dropping off a gift. Sure, newlywed idealism can be laughable–I know I have my share of it. But what beautiful, fun times of life! And of course we talk about it with others–yes, even our birth stories–particularly those in the same “stage” as us.

“I’m surprised anyone older than me can stand to be around me, knowing that most of what I’m saying is a direct reflection of my ’stage,’ and that I will eventually grow out of that opinion or fear or compulsion.”
How sad. The old can remember youth and its viewpoints through the (sometimes ignorant) exuberance of the young. The young can learn wisdom and perspective through the influence of the old. Hopefully we will “grow out of” some things as we age, but there is beauty to be found even in idealism or ignorance.

Anyway, I liked this: “But isn’t that why we’re here? To realize when someone is being stupid and to love them anyway.”

Yes, it is. Particularly when we try to see things through their eyes and fondly remember when we were not so very different.

By: Tay

Tay — Tue, 01 Jun 2010 20:50:18 +0000

Stages of life is a topic I’d rather hear about than gossip. Seriously people, just tell me all about your toddler/grade-schooler/teenager/college student, but don’t tell me about who doesn’t watch their kids closely enough or why they got a new car how on earth can they afford it. Bring on the my-kid-puked-all-over-last-night story!

And maybe, yes, I would hate showers if my friends only talked about the decor or the food or giving birth (especially the horror stories – kill me), but I tend to treat them all as come-and-go. So I’m never stuck. It helps a lot.

But praise be that the Lord puts up with my lame attempts at conversation. I’m sure some of my interests are received with a smile, nod and pat on the back – which is much appreciated.

By: Allison

Allison — Tue, 01 Jun 2010 16:36:15 +0000

I am trying to be more patient. And I do hope that God has patience with me because I have many faults.

But I actually enjoy baby showers and bridal showers. I like hearing about the big events and daily events in others’ lives. I like learning from and getting to know women who are older, younger, and the same age as I am. So I haven’t “been there.”

By: annegb

annegb — Tue, 01 Jun 2010 16:19:51 +0000

Thank you, I love this.

I’ve always, ALWAYS hated showers and parties of any kind. I have to really love you to go and sit there for a couple of hours. I find them boring to the point that I need drugs to get through them. I don’t get drugs, but I wish I could.

That’s beside the point, but still.

God rolling his eyes when I bellyache at him yet again. good one.

By: Emily

Emily — Tue, 01 Jun 2010 13:05:58 +0000

Love it. I agree, it is nice to remind myself that if God can be patient with my crazies, that I can try a little harder to be patient with other peoples crazies!