A Resistant Bud

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  “…And it came to pass that the Lord of the vineyard looked and beheld the tree… and it had sprung forth and began to bear fruit. And he beheld that it was good…and if you labor with your might with me ye shall have joy in the fruit.” (Jacob 5: 17,71)

I’ve sat here by the window staring blankly out at the bare wall of branches for a long time. I remind myself that some days I think the twigs are pretty if I extend my gaze to the blanket of white below, but mostly I feel like they’re a shivering reminder of starkness. Today I looked out and noticed perfect drops of water outlining the tree like lights strung on the branches. And then I saw buds. Yes buds! A rainy day yes, but look at those buds not yet emerged, with the expectant delivery hiding within the branches. It is here, with this view, that I’ve been perfecting the art of procrastination the last few weeks. This post being one of the many opportunities and assignments I’ve had lately that has been blocked in my brain, barricaded by my own complacent weariness.  The lull of status updates, article links, and perfect pictures swallows my productivity while planting shallow external thoughts; a siren call leading to more frustration.  I tell myself to dive deep, to find the roots of seeds planted long ago, to focus darn it! (Maybe a little censorship occurred just special for Segullah.)

But you see, there’s something to the resistance.  The expectation of the bud, and the expectation of things hoped for; for that measure of our creation to bloom. I suppose in the waiting and even enduring it shows a certain care. Sure procrastination is a simple example for a larger concept, but it’s the same idea. I thought of this when reading some of Stephen Pressfield’s book, The War of Art where he says,

“Resistance is directly proportional to love. If you’re feeling massive Resistance, the good news is, it means there’s tremendous love there too. If you didn’t love the project that is terrifying you, you wouldn’t feel anything. The opposite of love isn’t hate; it’s indifference. The more Resistance you experience, the more important your unmanifested art/project/enterprise is to you—and the more gratification you will feel when you finally do it.”

I really do think the majority of us care, and maybe the perfectionist in us momentarily halts as the caring turns to worry. I needed to be reminded that maybe I’ve used my harvest up and it’s time for replanting. It’s ours for the taking. A good friend once told me that we simultaneously live in a state of lack and abundance and we get to choose which we notice. Abundance.  I want abundance.  Because in those moments when the wind gets caught in your lungs, or you realize just how many incredible friends are in your world, or when you are actually grateful for your body as your legs are carrying you up a mountain, nature reminds you that it will never let you down.  Sure the winters are long, and the trees are bare, but those buds never lie.  God seeks to repair and nourish. Grafting, cutting, planting, pruning.  Pressure and expectations when aligned with God- a God promising change and certainty- can nourish us and produce a new spring. I know it’s true, nature proves it every year, and yet how soon we forget.  It’s an obvious metaphor that we all hear and have probably thought about, but true in its simplicity. Let’s see the buds, or at least know they’re on their way even though it may have a bit of a tough journey to get to us.

What buds are you waiting for?  How does nature remind us of eternal truths?  Have you found creativity and love through resistance?

 

About Jennie L

(Prose Board) is from Salt Lake. Teaching high school English has taught her many things, including how to sing the parts of speech, and break up hall fights, but perhaps most important, spending her days with words and writing continually reinforces their power. Give her a beach, some dark chocolate, friends and family and she'll be one happy girl.

9 thoughts on “A Resistant Bud

  1. Oh, I hear you…it has been a long long winter here and a long long winter of my soul, too. Trusts and patience have been in short supply. I’m grateful for the reminder that the garden flourishes that we nurture…I think I’ll goose abundance, too.

  2. That quote above, the part that says “If you didn’t love the project that is terrifying you, you wouldn’t feel anything. The opposite of love isn’t hate; it’s indifference. The more Resistance you experience, the more important your unmanifested art/project/enterprise is to you—and the more gratification you will feel when you finally do it.”, that right there is the most encouraging thing I’ve read in months. I have this project that I’ve been resisting for so long. I need to just get over myself and dive in. Thank you! ♥

  3. “Sure the winters are long, and the trees are bare, but those buds never lie. God seeks to repair and nourish. Grafting, cutting, planting, pruning.”

    This was like a breath of heaven for me tonight. Thank you.

  4. Lovely post. Resistance as evidence of something good to come. This makes sense.

    It also allows a person to transform procrastination from something negative and damning into a positive idea -proof of potential joy ahead, a reason to move forward.

    Thank you for this. I have a writing project waiting.

    (Fresh courage take, our God will never us forsake.)

  5. Kerri – I hear you on the patience thing. It is trying and I’m glad someone feels the same way I do… now to overcome it:)

    Blue- I loved and needed that quote too! Glad it’s helpful. For some reason knowing that resistance and love go together makes it more bearable. You can do it.

    Michelle- thanks for your kind words and it is something I have to remind myself over… and over.. and over..

    Melody- yes, fresh courage! That’s what I need. Best of luck with your writing project. Resistance=love.

  6. I read your post this morning and immediately posted the quote you shared on FB, and it will soon be stuck onto my inspiration wall in my study. Above my laptop, which is where I try to let creativity pour out.

    I’ve been thinking about your post all day. Summer is crankily sliding into Autumn here, and as I worked in the on-off-on-off drizzle and downpours, it reminded me that we don’t know when it’s going to rain, or how much, or where, but rain is a blessing. So much of Australia is in a drought or fighting bushfires, while another vast chunk is still flooding/floating and bracing for cyclones – I see many parallels between life and nature!

    Thanks for the quote – I really needed and appreciate it.

  7. Selwyn,

    I love that you needed that quote. That’s one of my favorite things — to pass on something and have someone grab it up. I’m going to put it on my board too. The contrast and parallels you brought up in nature are striking and soo true! Thanks.

    p.s. I love that someone is as obsessed with the Book Thief (and Markus Zusak for that matter) as me:)

  8. I love the idea that resistance is evidence that you care. That’s a good perspective shift for me. Thank you for the inspiring words! You have a beautiful way of writing!

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