I disagree. It only takes a minute to ASK first if the service is going to be needed or helpful. If you’ve got an itch on your back and someone offers to rub your feet, its not helping. And I think that when people just go “Oh ya, thats a good idea!” without asking first, they’re not REALLY caring about the individual.

I have a feeling the RS Pres wanted to do teddy bears b/c they were “cuter” and “more fun” than diapers. She didnt care that it wasnt appropriate for the people they were helping. Thats not thinking about what the people truly need. Its only thinking about what you’d *rather* do.

As to food…yes, I love the meals the RS brings when you have a baby or have a death in the family. But sometimes its just too much. Sometimes what is more helpful is cleaning, or babysitting, mowing the lawn, or just a check.

It only takes a minute to double check if the service is truly needed. And if your main goal is to actually HELP THE PERSON, and not to just have fun or do what sounds good, then you need to ask first.

The people in our branch were mostly Carribean. They had dark skin and wore bright colors. The ward was white people–mainly from Utah. I watched as some the children opened their gifts. One little Jamaican girl got a beautiful baby doll–a very white baby doll (something her mother never would have chosen). Another Jamaican girl–about seven years old– received an outfit all in tans. None of these kids were thrilled. I felt like a lot of time and money had gone for nothing.
Afterwards, I was disappointed that the suburban wards, while buying lovely gifts, seemed not to be very sensitive to the diversity in our stake. But, I realized that my role, as someone who knew and belonged to both groups, was to explain what was really needed–I was the one who failed to make the gifts work.

Food usually isn’t about just food. It is about SERVING the food. Meaning- don’t just drop it off, or call the pizza guy for them. Taking food to the missionaries or a new mother is an opportunity for personal ministry. It is an opportunity for you to encourage, uplift, and love at a critical juncture in someone’s life.

And sometimes, the trick is that there can be different opinions (and realities!) about where that line may be drawn! Another reason the council system is so vital in planning Church service projects, imo.

Hm. I see this very differently. This isn’t just a ward decision, but a church-wide policy for young men as part of their priesthood service, I believe. I think it teaches about priesthood duty and preparation, allows them to help the bishop help the ward (teaches about delegation and doing our part), helps them spend time that directly helps the poor in the ward, gives them experience going two-by-two (out of their comfort zones) and in a sense “one-by-one,” gives those who don’t pay tithing or go to church a chance to still contribute and serve through FO, and gives ward members a chance to interact with and encourage the young men in their service.

As to the missionary meals, missionary work is HARD. To have members show their support and help and love in small ways like this to me is not insignificant at all. Missionaries can grab pizza when they are out pounding the pavement, but they can’t get a home-cooked meal very easily unless members provide them. I think helping with a meal can be a nurturing, comforting, kind thing to do.

I’ve heard similar complaints about making meals for women who have just had a baby. “They can feed themselves,” is the thought. But maybe there is more going on here than just filling stomachs, and I think it’s important to consider why else we might be asked to do some of these things. Efficiency isn’t always going to be the right measure for what is ‘good’ service. If God were all about efficiency, He’d do a whole lot of things differently, imo.

Two things in our ward lately that have made me question this are first, the service the YM provide when they come door-to-door to collect fast offerings. My husband and I have discussed how this may actually be a useful service for families who don’t make it to church and perhaps would pay an offering if asked, but don’t otherwise. but for us, it means a second check to write, and feeling like we just used up 10 minutes of their valuable before-church time when they could be at home, helping their mom get the younger kids ready for church, or out picking up one of the many members in our ward who doesn’t have a car to drive themselves to church. What message are we sending them when asking, on top of the many, many youth activities they are already going to, that they spend a couple hours collecting money that would come to the ward anyway?

And the second was the missionary zone conference lunch that our ward recently provided. Apparently the mission in our area asks the wards to rotate making lunch for the missionaries zone conferences. They give the ward a budget for it, so its not that we are supplying the financial backing, just the food and time. But my thought is, if its just food they need, why don’t they order pizzas and save our RS president from having to take a half day off work? Is this really helping anyone? Is it worth it? To me, it seemed like an extra chore that really isn’t necessary. And honestly, we don’t really need more things to make us feel important. But maybe I have the wrong attitude. As it was, I didn’t actually attend, just watched another mom’s 2 year old so she could go help out, since I figured our three kids would have taken up most of our attention if we’d both tried to go help.

I guess I agree that while its important to be invovled in service, and I probably don’t do as much as I could or should, if I’m going to serve others, I’d like it to be something that is really needed and that there isn’t an easier/more affordable solution. I want to save my time for the needs that there isn’t a way around.

Sunny, thanks for getting us back on track.

Amybeth, I had parents like that too. An attitude of service makes a difference.

Sar,
“The problem with service is that it sometimes implies a hierarchy – that the one doing the service is better than the one receiving the service.”

I wonder if sometimes this is because of the way we treat “projects,” and the way we expect to feel from doing service. I wonder if this is more of a problem in the church than out of it.

I think it is possible to received and perform service in the mindset that we are all equally children of God trying to share with each other the things He has given us. But too often it comes off as paternalistic.

On a related note, I think that warm fuzzy service too often an element of schadenfreude.