Sorry to preach. (we’re probably all good at that, huh?) It is great to read each of your thoughts and be reminded of what is most important.

One more thing: I love to dance–was a dancer in college (mostly modern), and my daughter has taken dance since she was three (but not hard core, just lessons at the school). Still, I look at the lifestyle of dancers and see that the gospel is hard to fit into it. So, would I want my daughter to be a professional dancer anyway. No. But, exercising and having fun can be worthwhile goals too, I guess.

We are also encouraged to develop our talents and to seek out good things. We’ve been counseled to read good books and enjoy good music and art. That’s not possible if we are not also raising up artists, musicians, dancers, writers and even athletes. It’s a personal decision and, as Tonya said, can be very different for each kid. It’s our job as parents to use wisdom and, I’ll say it again, moderation.

My oldest is 20 now. I signed her up for dance, Jr. Jazz, art classes, piano, singing groups and, I can’t remember what else, when she was little. She hated it all. And I hated running her everywhere. By Jr. High I let her decide what she wanted to do. And it was nothing but choir in school. By high school she wanted to play volleyball. So she did team and club ball, but was sick of it after two years. Then she found sewing, and student gov’t. She also worked in the counseling office and now is studying social work in college because she loved it so much. I asked her about all the lessons – if she thought any of it was worth it – and she said she was happy she had at least tried and found out what she liked and didn’t like.

My second child just graduated. She also took piano, Jr. Jazz, singing group, and many different dance classes. She absolutely thrived in dance. She loved (and still does) all types of dance. Much to my dismay, I have paid for and driven her around to every kind of dance class I could find. She did choir and ballroom in Jr. High and then choir, modern dance, ballroom, jazz and ballet in high school. She even found she loved to be in Theatre Productions. This is a child who has struggled her whole life in school, been tested for ADHD (another long story), and has been able to find herself through dancing and performing. It is amazing to watch her come out of her shell when she performs. Now on to college where all she says she wants to be is a mom and a dance teacher! Hmmm.

My last child is 14. I did not sign her up for anything except a singing group as a young child (because her sisters were in the same one). I decided I could not handle all the pressure. Well, when this child was five she decided she wanted to learn to play piano. I kept putting off getting her a teacher, because it hadn’t worked out so well for the other two. One day she marched across the street and asked our neighbor (an older lady we know) if she could teach her piano because her mother wouldn’t sign her up! Embarrassing to this day! This wonderful woman taught her until I could find a teacher. I have not pushed this child into anything – she has researched everything on her own – and cajoled me into signing her up for: modern dance (which she hated), tennis (she liked ok), ballroom (it’s ok), jazz and hip hop (she loves), pottery (loves), watercolor (loves), and now she is trying out for volleyball and choir in high school. She wants to do everything. I have told her she can only do two things at a time, so she picks what is the most important to her. I also told her once she decides and starts, she is committed, no quitting until the season, or session is over.

I guess what I’m trying to relate is that every child, and every situation is different. It is up to each of us to find out what works for us, and only us. I may have some strong opinions on certain things, but that’s all they are, my opinions. It has taken me some time (and soul searching) to let my children become who they are, and to let them find out who they want to be. All I know is that each one is unique. And as a mother I think it is my job to help them figure out who they are, and what is important to them.

I will say that I often instigate “family day” when no matter what they miss it is our time together. The girls actually love this, because they can blame it on mom, and they get to take a breather. Sorry this post is so long, I’ve been thinking about this all week.

There are so many things that take my time and are really not of any worth later.

I’m also feeling that pull to just be, to just enjoy and cherish and strengthen our family.