Last week I cried about a hamburger.
The evening started out pleasantly enough. It was my husband’s birthday — his first since we’ve been married. We decided to try one of Boston’s best burger joints for the celebratory dinner. My mouth was watering at first sight of the menu — more than two dozen varieties of fresh-ground sirloin were awaiting my selection. I excitedly announced my choice to the server — the Cape Codder, medium rare, topped with avocado and Swiss. Combined with sides of onion rings and fresh-cut fries, I knew we had the makings of a perfect meal.
From our table I watched the chef place the fat, juicy patties on the grill. As we waited, I interviewed Tim about the highlight of his last birthday (the cheesecake I made him), the most momentous event of his 26th year (our wedding), and what he was looking forward to in the upcoming year (more good times with me). At that moment, I might have said life was perfect.
And then the food arrived. My immediate reaction was complete distress. Though my burger looked incredible, I quickly realized I would have a hard time actually consuming it. It was too tall. I tried squishing it down, but to no avail — the half-pound patty was just too thick. I cut the Cape Codder in two, hoping to make it more manageable. As I picked up the first half, juices dripped from my fingers. Avocado, cheese, and hunks of sirloin came spilling out of the grips of the soft, white bun. It all fell in a heap on my plate. And then the tears started flowing. These weren’t just small tears of frustration — I’m talking full-on crying, complete with sniffling and mascara smears. My hamburger — and night — were ruined.
You may think this sounds silly — even ridiculous. But at that moment, I couldn’t have felt worse. And I blame it all on hormones. Though breakdowns such as this do not affect me frequently, occasions do arise where I am completely at the mercy of the hormones within me.
I’m not the only one, right? Is there a method to handling the hormones? Or are there any equally embarrassing stories out there that might make me feel less crazy? Help. Please.