I worried about Stefan almost constantly.
The spring he turned 14 was a lonely one. His friends from school were busy and distant; the Teachers in his quorum were polite but not inclusive. The happy-go-lucky kid I’d known began to anger easily and his jokes gained a bitter edge.
A wise friend told me to pray that he would have his own spiritual experiences. Her advice puzzled me. This wasn’t a spiritual problem—the kids in our ward just needed to invite him over on Friday night! It was their fault! But the Spirit whispered to me, “Pray for him. Just pray.”
One afternoon he sat on our red chair feeling aimless. “Wouldn’t it be great if I could perform a miracle? Move a mountain or something?” he mused. “I’d better study the scriptures and find out how.” He went to his room and developed a plan of alternating reading from the Book of Mormon and the New Testament. One week later he’d finished both—so he started again.
Confession time: my son comes from a home of failed family scripture study. We’ve tried the illustrated versions, the Book of Mormon for Families; gathering in the wee hours, at dinner, before bedtime. Ist Nephi became well-worn, but Ether was untouched.
We accepted President Hinckley’s challenge to read the Book of Mormon a few years ago and read as a family every day. My little ones screamed and fought and acted nothing like those kids you hear about in conference talks. As we finished the last beautiful verses of Moroni 10 on Christmas Eve, I turned to my boys and said, “What did you learn from this?”
Over the din of his little sister’s screaming my oldest son replied, “I learned that I don’t want to have this many kids when I grow up!”
**********
Stefan told me nothing of his new reading schedule. But I saw changes in his demeanor almost immediately—he smiled more, he pushed little Mary on the swing, when a younger brother broke a dish he grabbed a broom rather than hurling an insult. Peace softened his features and gave light to his eyes.
Not wanting to be outdone by his little brother, my oldest committed himself to regular scripture study. When my 12 year old struggled with a problem, Stefan led him to the right verses and challenged him to read a chapter every night. I found myself digging out the Illustrated Book of Mormon for the little ones.
I began to wonder why I wanted him to have a social life? He was so pleasant to have at home and made an effort to play games with his siblings and keep the TV off. Chocolate Chip Orange Muffins became his specialty and Mary would beg her “best, most favoritest brother” to make a batch.
But the friends started calling. He’s too quiet to be ultra-social, but it seems that everyone wants him at their party.
Recently, he told me about the day on the red chair and his lofty goal (I don’t think I’ll tell you how many time he’s read the entire standard works since then.) “I got my miracle, mom. I’m so happy now. I got my miracle.”
How have the scriptures changed your life? How can we teach our children to love the scriptures? How can we learn to love them ourselves?
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Tags: book of mormon, children, Mormon families, scripture study
Yep, I’m reading them, but not as much feasting as grazing!
The scriptures have changed my life by answering my prayers, directing my path, and giving me the stress relief I’ve needed when everything wasn’t going anywhere close to perfect. There are some pretty impressive curses, promises and insults in the scriptures that always cheer me up
I don’t know how to help our kids love the scriptures – I’m in the throes of seeing what works myself. I have plenty of alternate entry points (like the Manga bible or Luke 2:52 books, which my boys read at Church, or the Liken the Scriptures DVDs which have enough dancing and singing to keep my youngest enthusiastic) to get them interested, and then point them towards the actual hard copy scriptures for further info.
I love the scriptures more each time I read from them – it’s pretty obvious, I’ve just realised, what I need to do to love them more!
You have a very special young man there.
The scriptures have changed my life in so many ways. I find that as long as I’m in them I’ll find what I need for that time in my life, no matter what it is I need or where I am in life.
I think that while we can set an example of using the scriptures, it is something each person has to find their own way through. The things that work for one person will work differently for someone else. And what works at one time in your life will work differently at a different time.
There are times when I feast and there are times when I graze. I should do more feasting.
Wow, Michelle. You have an amazing son.
I’m feeling like I need to get back into my scripture study, which has admittedly lagged over the last few months.
I did read the New Testament over the summer and remembered how much I love that book.
Thank you so much for sharing your son’s story and thank YOU for loving your children and relishing their company.
It’s inspiring to hear of families who enjoy each other’s company and don’t push their teens away to “their peers.”
I loved this. It brought tears to my eyes. It made me think about how I pray for my children, and my own feasting upon the scriptures. (too often just snacking!) Your son is a blessing to your family.
Amazing, Michelle.
The scriptures have been a part of my daily life since high school.
My dh and I have read them daily since about a year into our almost 14 year marriage, and still do, despite his lack of belief.
About a year ago, we finally started family scripture reading with our kids (10, 8, 6, 2). We are not very good at reading daily, sometimes it’s only once a week. We read from the Illustrated Children’s Bible. We *have* seen some great things come from it; it basically was how my 6 yo learned to read, and it has been fun to see her progress over the last year.
I am clinging to Elder Bednar’s counsel about consistency in having family home evening, prayer, and scripture study as we aim for better scripture reading in our family. More than anything, I’d love for my dh and kids to gain faith and testimonies of their own.
Great post.
This is what I want for my sons. They’re 3 and 1, so it might be a while.
Thank you for sharing.
One thing that we’re doing with our kids that’s working really well right now is letting them take turns choosing the story. We decided to back off on heavy doctrine and just read the stories. (My kids are 7 and 3.) Sometimes it takes us days to get through a story, and sometimes we read one in one sitting. My 3-year-old has picked things like the story of the loaves and fishes or, once, “bad guys”. (She meant the story of Ammon chopping off the bad guys arms.) My son recently asked to read about Moses and Pharoah, and we started way back at the beginning when Moses was placed in the basket in the bulrushes. It will take us several weeks to get through the entire story, but he’s been loving it and asking lots of questions.
My own personal scripture study is very lacking right now. I’ve tried many times and just never seem to catch that vision that we’re promised we’ll catch. I realized recently that scripture reading shouldn’t be a “chore” but should be something so meaningful that I can’t wait to do it. I’m not sure when I’ll ever get to that point. Sigh. Someone mentioned recently that it is also an act of obedience, so I’ve been trying to approach it that way, but that brings it back into the realm of chore. I don’t know the answer.
What a sweet story. Thanks for sharing.
I probably need to get back to the reading the Book of Mormon in addition to my current studying. Right now I’m focusing on the Old Testament, but it’s hard not to justify skipping whole chapters of Exodus and Leviticus. I think I need a bit more to keep my spirit fed. Thanks for the reminder.
This resonates so much with me right now. But my daughter hasn’t gotten the miracle yet. Or my son. Or me, for that matter. But we’re slogging along reading a little bit every day.
I have been screaming at my 12 year old today and generally losing it. A sure sign that I haven’t been studying my scriptures enough. We have still been doing the family reading in the morning, but it is the time when I find my own peace that has been missing. Of course I have excuses!!!!! The fact that I have been very ill for the past 5 weeks and sleeping through most of the day so I can be about when the children are home. The point is, I know that reading the scriptures regularly and with prayer helps me a lot, I have a testimony of it. I can see the change it makes in my life, and therefore the lives of my family too because they have to live with me no matter what I am like. I need to repent and get back on track.
Thank you so much for your kind comments. I worried that this would come across as bragging about my son, but really I want to brag about the scriptures and especially the Book of Mormon!
What I didn’t address in the post (always worried about word count) was the way Stefan inspired me. I have gone in and out of feasting on the scriptures and have not been doing very well in recent months. I crashed about two weeks ago and COULD NOT find peace. But right in front of me was this stunning example of my son (I really could brag about him all day.) and I began diving back into the Book of Books. Within days I felt an added strength, an ability to handle conflict, a sense of peace.
Thanks for sharing this. I was really good about scripture study as a teenager, and up through my mission. When I got home from my mission, I started law school and got out of the habit. It’s a hard habit to pick back up. I know I need to do it, I know I feel much better and closer to the Spirit when I do it, but it’s been so sporadic lately. Thanks for the reminder! I’m going to go read my scriptures now.
i love how you referred to it as “the Book of books”, Michelle!
i didn’t fall in love with it till a few years ago, and only then because of David Ridges Your Study of the Book of Mormon Made Easier series. That turned it all around for me in a jiffy.
I’ve been sloppy and slacking for a few months now. don’t quite know how to fit it into our lives with the kids at different schools now. but i must find a way, and i know it’s important.
thanks for sharing this timely reminder of the importance of that book. ♥
I was so grateful for Elder Bednar’s talk! Especially this part:
“Sometimes Sister Bednar and I wondered if our efforts to do these spiritually essential things were worthwhile. Now and then verses of scripture were read amid outbursts such as “He’s touching me!” “Make him stop looking at me!” “Mom, he’s breathing my air!” … At times Sister Bednar and I were exasperated because the righteous habits we worked so hard to foster did not seem to yield immediately the spiritual results we wanted and expected.
“Today if you could ask our adult sons what they remember about family prayer, scripture study, and family home evening, I believe I know how they would answer. … What they would say they remember is that as a family we were consistent….
“Each family prayer, each episode of family scripture study, and each family home evening is a brushstroke on the canvas of our souls. No one event may appear to be very impressive or memorable. But just as the yellow and gold and brown strokes of paint complement each other and produce an impressive masterpiece, so our consistency in doing seemingly small things can lead to significant spiritual results. “Wherefore, be not weary in well-doing, for ye are laying the foundation of a great work. And out of small things proceedeth that which is great” (D&C 64:33). Consistency is a key principle as we lay the foundation of a great work in our individual lives and as we become more diligent and concerned in our own homes.”
So good to know we’re not alone!
One of the greatest blessings of having family scripture study is that the Spirit teaches as we read — even facilitating learning to read!
Don’t hesitate to start with your kids even when they’re little — I started reading the Book of Mormon aloud to our oldest when I was nursing him
. He is an avid reader now.
Our home teachers brought us each a soft-back Book of Mormon, and amazingly my kids have been the motivation behind our reading most of the days since! They are more involved, too, with their own copy to follow along in.
Read as slowly as you need to. Reading a story (like Eljee) or reading about a topic that they ask about is a great way to keep them interested. We took a week to read Mosiah 3’s 27 verses because we wanted to reread a sweet description of the Savior’s mission.
I do know that, as we diligently seek, we will be led to the answers, guidance, comfort, and strength that we need! And that love for the scriptures — that joy in the feast will come!!!
This is a beautiful story. It gives me so much hope that my children can gain their own testimonies in spite of my very imperfect parenting and example. Prayer and scriptures are amazingly powerful. Too often, I don’t think we realize how much so.
I’ve been dragging the kids to scripture reading (no illusions that it’s “study”) the last six years and my kids still fight like cats and dogs. I am consistent however, and I think it was Elder Bednar who said consistency was important, so I’m hanging my hopes on that. Maybe someday my kids will want to dive in on their own, but until then, we’re slogging through Paul’s epistles and when the New Testament is done, we will have read (maybe more accurately “suffered”) through all the standard works.
That is quite an amazing story. I want to give a talk on scripture study and read this story over the pulpit. What an amazing example to everyone–kids yes, but most adults would have a hard time measuring up to this. {granted your son has more time on his hands than most busy moms and dads, but teenagers also usually have less maturity than adults…so it evens out really}.
I recently gave myself a read the BOM in 90 days challenge…and while I haven’t been quite as diligent in the past week, I too saw a pretty immediate difference.
That was a great post.
What wise friends you have;)
I heard though the grapevine about your sweet son’s accomplishments. His older brother shared with his seminary teacher what a stud he has for a younger brother and how proud he was of him. Now what mother wouldn’t love to hear that! Truly beautiful.
The scriptures hold the key to our closeness to our Savior. They provide comfort and guidance and the purest of love if we let them work their magic.
Thank you for sharing such an inspiring story. Love to you and your awesome boys.
I gave a lesson in R.S. last Sunday on feeling God’s love. I used Elder Kikuchi’s article “Opening the Heavens” from the August Ensign. This article has made an enormous difference in my life. I’ve been a regular scripture-reader, but somehow, the concept of finding a “personal Sacred Grove” really struck home. The power of the Book of Mormon is very real.
Michelle, I loved this tender story about your son–so inspiring. I do know that the scriptures have power to transform our lives, and that our children benefit greatly from our family scripture study, even though it might not seem like it at the time. I love it when I see my children studying the scriptures on their own–it warms a mother’s heart.
Thanks for this lovely post!
Great story!
Our children are adults now. All of them are wonderful sons and daughters. We have a great relationship with them. Not all of them are currently interested in the things of the Spirit. Those who are interested in the things of the Spirit struggle with balancing busy schedules with Spiritual needs (D&C 30:2). “Prosperity” can be a real drag on spirituality.
As parent, my wife and I have found that the Lord hears our prayers in behalf of our children–all of them. We see consistent “miracles”, but always with respect for their agency.
Some of our ward members demanded that their children be active in the church in order to have a relationship with their parents. The cost as been high for those families now that their children are adults.
Agency can not be forced. The best way we’ve found to draw our children to the Lord is to be good examples to them, love them for who they chose to be. That doesn’t mean when we’re together that they do not respect who we are. Most of the time they do that without thinking about it, but not always. Sometimes we have had to take a stand.
I’m going on too much. Being parents is, well, the best and the worst…
I love the scriptures. But I remember struggling to read and understand them. Seminary did help. I appreciate the children’s versions of the Book of Mormon. We didn’t have those when I was little and I was confused about the story for a long time. Keeping notes has helped me, as did four (make that five) years of BYU religion classes.
I read most mornings, but my kids don’t see me necessarily because I read on my palm treo. Maybe that would help. I’m still waiting for the miracle to happen in our house. We try to read after dinner. Trying for consistency!
Love your family! Hope my girls find a boy like yours.
Thank you so much for this post. I needed this, not just for the comments and inspiration to get back in the habit, but also for the opportunity it gave me to reflect on the times our family HAS been touched by our faithfulness in this regard.
the intensity level at our house is usually near a 9 or 10. I have really not had many times when my kids have commented that we are consistent, that’s for sure. A few years ago, at tithing settlement, our Bishop asked how we were doing as a family on reading the Book of Mormon, I thought we’d done pretty good with our 3-5 days a week. The Bishop just looked at me and said, “You need to make that 5-7.” So we did. Months went by and the volume continues at our house. But…one night my son was 75 mins late for curfew. I was livid! As he came home I was ready to firmly lay out the consequences for this. Instead, I was constrained by the Spirit to simply give him a hug, tell him how glad I was he was ok, and let it go. When I went back to bed, I said a prayer of thanks for the inspiration, and prayed that I had followed it right. It was confirmed to me, that the Spirit was more prevalent with ME and that my kids were different people, because I was a different person because we were reading our Scriptures. I realized that Family prayer and Scripture study were for me, every bit as much as they were for them.
Thank you again, I needed to remember this tonight!
That was beautiful! What a lovely son!
Gabrielle mentioned Elder Kikuchi’s article in the Ensign.
In 2001 Elder Kikuchi set me apart as a companion to my husband as he was about to serve as mission president. In that blessing he counseled me to have my own “sacred grove” experience every morning. I took that counsel to heart and haven’t missed many days since of scripture study. I’m so grateful for that counsel. My life has changed in wonderful ways because of it. I love the scriptures, especially the Book of Mormon.
President Gordon B. Hinckley said, “I hope the reading of scriptures will become something far more enjoyable than a duty; that, rather, it will become a love affair with the word of God. I promise you that as you read, your minds will be enlightened and your spirits will be lifted. At first it may seem tedious, but that will change into a wondrous experience with thoughts and words of things divine.”
It’s true!
Just wanted to thank you again for this post. I read it for family home evening tonight. My kids were very attentive. And my husband and I were both able to share our testimonies of the scriptures with them.
Love the words of life! the miracle!
This post was great. I say that a lot, and I always mean it, but this post was REALLY GREAT.
I love the scriptures, and I’m constantly wondering how I can make sure that my children will also grow to love the scriptures. It is because of my experiences with the scriptures that I’ve been led to happiness in my life. I hope that they will seek to have experiences with the scriptures.
But, I love the example that you give of your son – and how, essentially, he is developing the quality of charity. It is a miracle.
Wow this is inspiring. Thanks for such a beautiful post. Go pat your son on the back and thank him for being a great example.
oh…i almost forgot…
How do we learn to love the scriptures? I always keep a journal while reading them. It seems like when I force myself to take the message of the scriptures from my brain to the pen they pass through the heart.
Thanks again for the post.
Fantastic post.
Michelle, I absolutely LOVE hearing about your family. Thanks for writing this.
Here’s my scriptural epiphany:
http://web.me.com/aaronmiller/MillerV2/Blog/Entries/2009/10/21_Hi._Here%E2%80%99s_my_Heart._Please_Don%E2%80%99t_Step_On_it..html
Thank you, thank you, thank you for sharing. I am so grateful for your heart Michelle.