Comments on: Dating, and other impossibilities

By: Paula

Paula — Fri, 06 Mar 2009 23:53:58 +0000

I just watched an episode of the new show Rita Rocks where the wife’s efforts at romance (she gets a hotel room and even shaves “above the knees”) are thwarted by a cell phone call about a dog who has to go to the vet because of a swallowed bracelet. I’m sorry, but just because you own a cell phone and the kid seems desperate, that’s no reason to answer the cell phone or be sucked into what’s not *really* an emergency. My brother calls his brother’s iPhone a “space phone” because of the amusingly vast apps he “needs.” Back in the olden days when I was growing up we were told to turn to a neighbor in the event of an emergency. And my parents went out. Related to the “must have” cell phone problem, do you not do temple sessions because you might miss a call?

By: Kristin

Kristin — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 19:56:58 +0000

I didn’t have time to read comments, but what about telling them to call your friend/neighbor/visiting teacher if they need something, and not you. They probably will be better at only calling in an emergency that way, rather than to tattle. Just warn the other adult in advance.

Or…the next couple of times the worst offenders have gone to a friend’s house, call very soon after they have gotten there, give a long explanation of what is going on at home (you are stressed trying to cook dinner or something), tell them you need them, and go pick them up immediately. Give them a taste of what that feels like.

Good luck!

By: Kay

Kay — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 18:58:01 +0000

We do lunch dates more than evening dates. Partly because my husband occasionally works from home and the children are in school, so no babysitter required. In England it is illegal to have children as young as 12 babysit, we can get arrested for leaving our children home alone so to speak. In theory over here the minimum age is 16, but most girls start around 15. Also having an adult babysitter for the rare times we go out at night mean that they have never called us once. Going out at night in the dark is a treat for me! How sad!!

By: Jennifer

Jennifer — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 16:53:46 +0000

I say don’t answer your cell phone! Tell the kids that if they’re in a life or death emergency to call your home teacher, and then answer your phone if your home teacher calls.

When we were all kids our parents didn’t have cell phones and they still left us! We knew who to call in an emergency, but we would have been too embarrassed to call someone besides our parents about a petty quarrel.

Get out and have a good time–just do it!

By: Mommom

Mommom — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 01:44:45 +0000

We’ve done dates at home when the children were younger and now that they’re much older actual dates that are out of the house.

One thing… don’t forget lunch dates once the children are in school. Or an early matinee then too. You might not need a babysitter (or maybe one for fewer children – maybe you could trade with a friend) and the date cost less.

As for when children are old enough, make sure you check to see if your state has laws that say when you can leave them alone with children. This often includes watching their own families. In the last 2 states I’ve lived in the minimum age was 12.

By: JKS

JKS — Sun, 01 Mar 2009 22:59:51 +0000

esodhambio,
FOr us 11. We have started with daylight hours (nighttime was always scarier as a babysitter), shorter amounts of time (dinner only). We pay her if it is a date, we don’t pay her if it is something like an errand or doctor visit, and we try not to do it too often. We had to stop for a while when I had a baby or take the baby with us, because I didn’t want to leave her with the baby. We emphasize that we will ask everyone how it went when we get home.

By: Carina

Carina — Sun, 01 Mar 2009 05:29:13 +0000

No. We do not date.

There was a disastrous Valentine’s day around these here parts.

I have no tips.

By: Justine

Justine — Sun, 01 Mar 2009 04:25:52 +0000

We started out slow like that, too, eso. We’d put the other kids in bed, then run 5 minutes down the road for a smoothie and be gone only 20 minutes. We started that when our oldest was around 11. He’s a very responsible 11, though. I think our second oldest might not be ready to babysit until she’s well over 12 – we’ll see.

We didn’t leave him in charge if we were going to the temple or someplace we’d be unavailable. We worked up to ‘real’ dates. And sometimes it goes great, other times not-so-much.

By: esodhiambo

esodhiambo — Sun, 01 Mar 2009 04:19:23 +0000

When are the kids old enough to babysit? Just curious what age other people use as a guideline.

I think when my oldest is getting there, I would try to make it easy for her and go out late–maybe after the littler ones are in bed, so she has fewer problems, and I have fewer phonecalls.

By: Tori

Tori — Sun, 01 Mar 2009 04:11:35 +0000

My DH and I don’t leave the house to go on dates. We do have little ones and few people we could ask for babysitting (and no money for said babysitters). We also don’t have money stashed away in my purse. But even if we did, I dare say we would probably stay home anyway.

We do, sometimes, have a date, though.

We watch a movie. Eat a dinner. Talk. All the date stuff. But after the kiddos are sound asleep, that’s all. I highly recommend it.

We’ve also started an almost nightly date-like routine of reading together. Not scriptures, though we did start that, too (DH is not a member). He’s reading me The Notebook. It’s REALLY nice to read together. A few moments of oneness before falling asleep.