Does my moral responsibility start now, or can I get a new couch first?

Posted by Shelah | September 14, 2009 | 44 Comments

We came into the house this evening, carrying 1/3 of a snickerdoodle cake and a pile of wet clothes. We’d spent the day at my in-laws’ cabin, the men glutted themselves on football in the family room, the women fretted over kids and callings in the kitchen, the kids stomped in the suddenly-freezing creek water, and we all ate well. Even the bickering from the backseat on the drive home couldn’t overcome the feeling of contentment and well-being that filled me. I picked up the phone to check our voice mail and noticed “Washington University” on the Caller ID. And the well-being was replaced by guilt.

In the years since we graduated from BYU and Wash U, we’ve been barraged by Alumni Association calls from our alma maters (or is it almae matres?). Each year, we’ve listened politely to the speeches by earnest undergraduates about new buildings on campus and big research projects, and then given a token donation– something to help the school’s rankings with their percentage of alumni donors, but not enough to really make a difference. I always felt guilty, but as long as my husband was doing his indentured servitude of medical training, I figured we were entitled to be a little bit cheap.

I’m a sucker for a good pledge drive, and over my husband’s protests, gave other token drops in the bucket to people who came calling over the years– NPR, Jerry’s Kids, Susan G. Komen, Kiva and Heifer, but it was always just enough for the coffee mug or the tote bag, never the “gold circle.” I told myself that once his training was done and we had a job, I’d give generously. “Where much is given, much is expected, ” after all.

The thing is, I’m especially guilt-ridden when it comes to alumni donations because we were helped so generously when we were in school. Between the two of us, we’ve probably been helped to the tune of about $200,000 in scholarships. So it made sense that once the residency and the fellowship were done, we’d start giving for real.

The last fellowship ended three months ago. And when the alumni calls come, they still make me feel guilty. You see, we have this big empty house now, and as much as I want to start paying for scholarships, I also want a new couch. When the budget was tight, I dreamed about the couch I’d buy when the training was finished. I picked out a beauty too, and after years of hand-me-downs and IKEA’s cheapest and secondhand stuff (which isn’t all that different from what we’re filing the new house with), I’m saving my pennies for that couch. It’s become some kind of twisted symbol (can upholstery be symbolic?) of finally growing up. And if I give real money, not just a token $20, to the alumni association, then it always just going to be a symbol, and not an actual couch, in my family room.

But if it’s a couch today, will there be another excuse tomorrow? “When much is given, much is expected,” hasn’t ceased its nagging refrain either. If I ignore it long enough, will that little voice of guilty conscience go away too? I hope not, at least until I get the couch.

When it comes to charitable giving, or alumni giving, do you feel guilty like me, or give with a grateful heart? How do you choose who to give to, and how much to give?

Category: Daily Special

Comments

44 Responses to “Does my moral responsibility start now, or can I get a new couch first?”

annie
September 14th, 2009 @ 8:25 am

We’ve been out of undergrad college for almost 18 years (gasp!)and we still subscribe to the “drop in a bucket” school of philanthropy, usually giving less than $100 to whatever causes we especially endorse. With grateful hearts. Someday we’d love to endow a scholarship or help with a substantial need at one of our (4!) alma maters/al but that day is still not here. Pretty soon we’ll be contributing through tuition for our own kids!

But those drops in the bucket add up so don’t feel guilty for just giving what you can! Get the sofa.
Tiffany W.
September 14th, 2009 @ 8:31 am

I understand the longing for that couch. Oh, how I do. My husband finally finished school after 10 long years of undergrad, grad and then a phd. I thought things would be easier since he has a “real” job, but I didn’t account for the cost of living change that would hit us or the “getting started and on our feet” budget challenges. I gave to the BYU alumni fund drive, but it really was very small. I still don’t have a couch. I’m not sure when that dream will be realized. So I’m not sure how or what I would do when faced with the decision. My gut tells me that donating to the schools would be the worthier cause. But my empty living room cries out for some type of sitting apparatus!
Andi
September 14th, 2009 @ 8:38 am

I’d get the couch. You need to have one item in your home that you love and can enjoy (just make sure to get a super comfy one!). Besides, this makes me think of my grandma and grandpa. She really wanted a new couch, nothing flashy and upscale, just a simple couch. He thought the money could be better saved because they were older and was worried about the future. Well, my grandma died before he did, and the couch haunted him. I guess it was a source of contention between them, and he really wished he had let her enjoy a new couch.

I don’t think it will be another thing tomorrow. The couch is a symbol of moving on to another stage in your life.
Kay
September 14th, 2009 @ 9:04 am

We give what we can when we can. We have always paid a full tithe and fast offerings, as far as I am concerned everything else is a bonus. Maybe you feel slightly differently because you received scholarships. I worked and paid my way through university myself. However I did get help from the church paying for my mission so I do try to give extra there and feed the missionaries as much as I am able. I don’t feel we should give out of guilt, there is no joy in that.
Ann Moulton Johnson
September 14th, 2009 @ 9:30 am

Take the alumni gift from your tithing fund. God surely recognizes worthy causes should not be limited solely to those sponsored by the LDS church.
Karen
September 14th, 2009 @ 9:36 am

I’m not sure whether a new couch or a donation is the better way to go. I think that’s a very individual decision. The important question here is, what is snickerdoodle cake and how can I get the recipe?
Dovie
September 14th, 2009 @ 9:46 am

A few years back I got my Grandma small but nice pot and pan set. Her rheumatoid arthritis was making it difficult to cook standing up. Sitting down she could not easily see into the vessel to monitor the food’s progress. She was frustrated by the burnt food and sauces that had of late become a part of her life.

When I heard the story I thought that she needed something heavily bottom clad. She is a wonderful cook and raised 12 children on that good cooking. Countless hours cooking… Several times I remember from my childhood the flooring in front of her stove being worn through and replaced before the rest of the kitchen.

When she received the gift she told me in all those years she had never owned a nice set of pots and pans. Over 50 years of marriage and 12 children and more grandchildren and great-grandchildren than can be easily counted cooked for with a cobbled together substandard pots and pans. Every time since whenever I go to her house and see that small nice set in use it makes me so happy. I wish she had them earlier.

Couches are good tool for reading, nurturing, snuggling, consoling, counseling, instructing, and don’t forget snoozing. If you can afford it get your couch. Don’t wait 50 years. Then go ahead and be generous.

I have my couch I got it three years ago. My new list includes a new fridge, grass in the east yard, swing-set built, several more fruit trees, three shade trees, an actual bed frame. Then I will feel like I’ve arrived somewhere, and hopefully not be pining for a new destination.
Michelle L.
September 14th, 2009 @ 10:16 am

buy the couch!

I do believe in giving till it hurts but I save that feeling for fast offerings, Humanitarian Center etc. And I give up things like a new pair of boots, or a dinner out– not a couch!
Cindy
September 14th, 2009 @ 10:22 am

Get the couch and don’t feel guilty about it. You have been saving for it and it will make your empty house feel more like a home, which is important. And don’t feel bad about the amount you donate to the schools, remember the widow’s mite.
Mrs. M
September 14th, 2009 @ 10:32 am

If one generous donation will assuage that guilty feeling, go ahead. If not, keep on with your smaller, but regular, contributions. We give what we can when we can and consider that generosity is all relative.
Janell the Great
September 14th, 2009 @ 10:38 am

People liked to ask me what my goals were after I finished school, “Buy a Wii, purchase a couch, and retire.” The first thing I did with my signing bonus of my first after-school job? I purchased a couch. To me it represented finally being at a stage in life where it didn’t matter that I couldn’t fit the couch in my car and where I could afford to purchase something I expected to last 20 years.

Construct yourself a couch budget. Go out and buy the couch, and donate the excess budget to whatever cause you wish.
jendoop
September 14th, 2009 @ 10:45 am

I do this too. But stop and give yourself a huge amount of credit for the 10% of charity you donate. That is A LOT! Donating anything beyond that is generous, even if it’s $20. There are other people who don’t pay tithing who do donate to your alma matter.

After all, it’s a sofa, not a Harley or summer home in the Bahamas.

We are so good at guilt. Maybe those scholarships were the windows of heaven being poured out because you were paying your tithing. Don’t guilt yourself because God blessed you. Enjoy the blessing and tell God thank-you.
Zina
September 14th, 2009 @ 10:54 am

Hmm, I’ve always seen donations to universities as voluntary and not as a moral responsibility. If Wash U. is a state school it gets taxpayer funds, and BYU gets tithing money. Plus it’s my impression that there are always individuals whose egos are stroked by setting up or contributing to scholarships and chairs, and there’s also the fact that many scholarships are paid out of interest that accrues on existing endowments (the principal is never spent.) I’m sure that contributions and interest revenues fluctuate with the economy, but I guess I also think that a school’s business structure ought to be set up so that tuition revenues meet its operating costs, and any other contributions are icing. So my approach has been that I’ll give first to organizations that address disease or hunger, etc., and maybe later give more than a token alumni contribution if my resources are abundant and I’m inclined to. I do believe in being grateful for my scholarship-funded education and trying to use it for good; I just don’t think of it as something I’m obligated to repay monetarily.

(BTW, I’m a little shocked by the suggestion above to take charitable contributions out of the tithing budget–that’s not how tithing’s done, in my understanding. Tithing’s ten percent to the Lord via the Church, and then we can make any kind of other charitable offerings however we see fit.)
Jenny
September 14th, 2009 @ 11:37 am

We are so good at guilt.
I echo this comment. You already pay tithing and it IS a lot. I decide at the beginning of the year exactly how much money we can generously give to whatever cause we choose (outside of tithing) and then have an easier time saying no when the 73rd charity calls asking for money.Besides, a nice comfy couch will be a lot more comfortable to sit on than a receipt from a university donation. Your cause matters, too!
CS Eric
September 14th, 2009 @ 11:48 am

Get the couch. In the worst case, it will give you a comfortable and stylish place to sit during your guilt trips. In the best case, it will be a symbol of (finally!) being able to move on to bigger and better things.
Dovie
September 14th, 2009 @ 11:49 am

A teeny tiny give back suggestion. Give to the Perpetual Education Fund. Not that you shouldn’t give to the alma maters but I think that you could transform and lift a life, a family, or a community somewhere in the world where means for education are difficult if not impossible to come by. Your beneficent education dollars will go much further.
Justine
September 14th, 2009 @ 11:55 am

Get the couch.

There will always be time for guilt.

Feel guilty while sitting on your couch.

Because you will feel guilty whether you get the couch or not. Sometimes the people on the phone looking for money are not happy no matter how much you give. Sometimes I get off the phone feeling like it will be my fault if the firefighters die or the alumni center falls into the earth.

I’m with Jenny, we’re all very good at guilt.
Strollerblader
September 14th, 2009 @ 12:10 pm

Get the couch, but get it off of craigslist. That’s my advice.

We got our first “real” couches last November when we were coming up on 13 years of marriage. But, we got them off of craigslist. I knew exactly what I wanted (brown leather in like-new condition), and so I just checked craigslist everyday and then when “my” couches showed up one morning, they became mine. I got 2 beautiful, like new all leather brown couches for $700, plus the price of a U-Haul trailer rental ($25) and some gas for the 75 mile round trip. That way you could still get your dream couch(es) plus make a bigger than usual donation to the school(s) with what you saved over buying a “gently used” couch. And with the downturn in the economy, it is an excellent time to buy like-new furniture from people who need cash.
ErinAnn
September 14th, 2009 @ 12:33 pm

There will always be someone else asking you for money. Set your “charity budget” and stop taking those calls.
April
September 14th, 2009 @ 12:45 pm

I say buy the couch and start putting a little money away each week till next year, so you will be able to donate then. You can even get a jar and talk about it with your family, then the kids will see how much you value education and those that supported you! Again don’t feel guilty, The scholarships don’t come with an expectation that you will start giving large sums when you finish school, but remember to be generous at some point.
angie f
September 14th, 2009 @ 1:17 pm

When all the charitable donation calls began to roll in after we graduated, I succumbed to a lot of guilt and the subsequent nickel and diming away of our plans for nest feathering and being settled. We finally made a better, more balanced plan for how and where we would give. And now when all the calls come in, if I take them, my response is a polite, “I’m sorry, our charitable donation dollars are already spoken for this year. Good luck.” and then I hang up before they can dig in any extra guilt. That way I remind myself that we DO give as we choose, and keep control of my choices and money.
Absolutely definitely buy the couch. And I second the idea of donating to PEF instead of your alma mater, at least for the foreseeable future.
Shelah
September 14th, 2009 @ 1:31 pm

Wow, you girls are good at relieving me of some guilt. I’ll have to come to you next when I’ve eaten the whole pan of brownies or skip a week of running, I know who to come to to feel better.

Tiffany– I think you nailed some of what we’re going through. Our house payment tripled and we bought a new car when we moved (we did donate the old clunker to NPR) and our tax bracket changed, so while we’ve had a bump in income, we also have much bigger expenses. I think you should buy your couch too! Maybe we can make the leap together.

Karen– The Snickerdoodle Cake comes from Ann Byrn’s book The Cake Mix Doctor. It’s a perennial favorite at my house. The book is totally worth buying, but here’s a link to the recipe: http://halfpinthouse.wordpress.com/2007/04/03/snickerdoodle-cake/

Dovie– I love that story about your grandma. You’re such a thoughtful granddaughter!

Strollerblader– I love craigslist. In fact, almost everything we’ve filled the new house with has come from Craigslist or KSL classifieds. If the couch I want came on craigslist here (a long shot, since the store is in Minnesota and I want a color that isn’t the stock color) I’d be the first one calling the seller. That’s a great thing to keep in mind.
I love the idea of sitting on my guilt trip, guys.
PaulM
September 14th, 2009 @ 1:33 pm

Wash U can wait. As an alumnus (MBA ’02) I decided I would begin donating with the first job I secured in large part due to my status as a Wash U alumnus. I paid a premium price despite my 1/2 tuition scholarship and I’ll start donating once I hit the break-even point.
Shelah
September 14th, 2009 @ 1:34 pm

Hey Paul– A fellow Lindell warder, right? Good to hear from you!
bekah
September 14th, 2009 @ 1:35 pm

I think that small donations are a great place to start. When we first got done with grad school, we spent several years giving $20-$25 donations to our colleges and local charities, etc. Now that we are a little more established, we have started gradually increasing the amounts that we donate. Just because you received a large amount of scholarship money doesn’t mean that you should feel like you have to give huge monetary gifts–otherwise, it would be more like a loan, not a scholarship.

As several others have mentioned, they are many ways to give back, and one of our favorites as a family is PEF. For the last few years, each January we have picked a new category from the tithing slip (PEF, Humanitarian Aid, etc)and made a resolution to give a monthly gift to that area, along with our tithing and fast offering. Then when a new year rolls around, we keep all our old categories and add a new one. We let our kids help us decide which one to give to, and we have found that this method has helped us stretch ourselves to give more without feeling like we are taking a hit to our budget.

That being said, get the couch!
anonymous
September 14th, 2009 @ 1:36 pm

We started putting away a certain amount of money each month; a chunk of the paycheck is directly diverted into a special charitable giving account. In December, we spend some time researching and discussing as a family where we want our funds to go. Each family member has discretion over a certain amount of the money. We’ve given to LDS Humanitarian fund, Heifer, the Fistula Hospital, Unicef, local food banks and family service providers, Nature Conservancy, Sierra, NPR, the local school district’s fundraising campaign, our alma mater’s public service organization, etc.

One of the nicest side-benefits to this has been my ability to deal with telemarketers. I used to be eaten up with guilt at every call from a worthy cause. (And the more I gave, the more they called.) Now I just tell them, “Our family does all of our charitable giving at the end of the year. You’re welcome to send us some information by mail, and we’ll be happy to consider your organization as a possible recipient.”
Catania
September 14th, 2009 @ 1:56 pm

I think I see what you’re saying…there’s always something, I get afraid of that from time to time, but ultimately, I feel good about the little bit I can give because 1. I’m giving 2. I’m still staying within my means.

I’m going along with the rest of the commenters – get the couch! And don’t feel guilty. We are always making ourselves feel guilty, however, the lord only expects us to run as fast as we have strength. In other words – giving a little is good – as long as you’re giving.

And if you’re still having trouble getting rid of the guilt – think of how your family will benefit from the couch. (even if it means they have a happier mom)
Faith.Not.Fear
September 14th, 2009 @ 2:11 pm

1) Caller ID is your friend ! (Amazing to think that twenty plus years ago, we answered every call!) The folks who come to the door are my struggle!

2) When things are tight, I remember the scripture in Mosiah 4:24
“And again, I say unto the poor, ye who have not and yet have sufficient, that ye remain from day to day; I mean all you who deny the beggar, because ye have not; I would that ye say in your hearts that: I give not because I have not, but if I had I would give.”

3) I agree with whoever said couches are for cuddling, etc. If you have no cuddling couch, definitely go for it!

4) If you’ve been saving up for that couch, you could keep saving the same amount each month after you buy it, and use that as a charitable fund.

5) PEF is an awesome way to help people all over the world! Thanks to whoever brought it up!

6) Saying “We’re not in a position to do that at this time” is being HONEST — something else we’re supposed to do .

7) You have the right to ask telemarketers, etc. to remove you from their list — if there are too many causes calling, narrow them down by a polite request.
Fairchild
September 14th, 2009 @ 3:04 pm

I was always getting calls from the state troopers association. Then, I found out it was basically a scam. They give a small percentage of the donations to the charity and then keep most of it for themselves. Now, I feel no guilt telling them NO! Just thought that might help someone else who gets those types of phone calls. My husband always tells them to send him something in the mail and then he’ll decide. In my experience, alumni associations will keep calling you back whether you donate or not. Donating actually causes charities to contact you more because you are “golden.” This has been my experience. Just something to bear in mind to help your guilt!
Melissa M.
September 14th, 2009 @ 3:36 pm

I always used to feel guilty if I didn’t donate to every charity that contacted us. This C.S. Lewis quote made me feel all the guiltier: “If our charities do not at all pinch or hamper us, I should say they are too small. There ought to be things we should like to do and cannot because our charitable expenditure excludes them.”

But, I have learned the necessity of using wisdom and order, even in our charitable giving. What Fairchild says above is true: the more you donate, the more calls you will get, so it becomes difficult to draw the line, and difficult to know who the “real” charities are. We have become more discerning; we ask for more information, we study the charities involved before deciding whether to donate. But I think it’s important to develop a habit of charitable giving, even if it’s only in small amounts as you become financially established. I like donating to the LDS Humanitarian Fund and the PEF; I like charities like Oulessebougou, which helps African villages build wells and buy school supplies while spending very little on overhead. You might make it a family project to research some charities and decide which ones you want to donate to, then put aside a little from your budget for charitable giving, whatever feels wise to you. Let the kids be involved so they feel the excitement of giving.

That said, I think you should get the couch—it’s okay to make your home comfortable for your family, and a couch is one of those comforts you will use all the time. And let go of the guilt!
Selwyn
September 14th, 2009 @ 4:00 pm

There will always be people and organisations looking for help, regardless of if we answer the door or phone. I believe it’s best to choose where you would most like to see your donation spent.

I sponsor one child, and will soon be donating to an organisation that helped me as a child. And that will be IT. If anyone rings or knocks, I tell them that I already have a charity I support, and I wish them all the best in finding supporters.

Like other ladies, I would buy a lounge you love, and love it for years. There is nothing like a chair you love to snuggle up in to weather life’s storms (and the occassional guilt party).

(And thanks for the recipe link!)
Catania
September 14th, 2009 @ 4:20 pm

oh – and just remember:

charity begins in the home…
(get the couch!)
Rae
September 14th, 2009 @ 5:15 pm

We set a specific amount we can spend a year and when we reach it we are done! Then I can really tell people when they call that I have reached my limit and that they should call earlier in the year next year. I am then not lieing with some excuse I pull from the air at the moment. It makes me feel good knowing we have set aside money but it also makes me feel good knowing that I won’t be pushed into over spending.
Stephen M (Ethesis)
September 14th, 2009 @ 8:14 pm

as I want to start paying for scholarships, I also want a new couch

And yes, if you let it, there will always be a new couch, or a new porche or a new vacation property or a new investment …

But, that doesn’t mean that there will be. Now is the time to put yourself on a budget where you buy the couch (and the loveseat and the chairs and the related furniture and …) for cash, one at a time, and save towards donations as well.

The key is scheduling all out.

We started putting away a certain amount of money each month; a chunk of the paycheck is directly diverted into a special charitable giving account.

That anonymous poster has it right. Down to the donate once a year, at the end of the year philosophy.

That way you aren’t willy nilly about it, and you can resist every caller, every brochure, every attempt to get into your pockets (and anyone you donate to will sell your name to others who will call you, etc.).

You can find balance, have the couch and charity too.
Karen
September 14th, 2009 @ 10:48 pm

Thanks for that recipe link! After some consideration, I’m with the “buy the couch” group. You’ll buy a couch just once (or once every 10-15 years). Even if you donate smaller amounts, you do that annually, so you’ll be donating more in the long run.
Becky
September 14th, 2009 @ 10:55 pm

Are you familiar with the economist Arthur C. Brooks’ on “Why Giving Matters?” Turns out, the more we give, the more we get! Really, it’s true! Work out some “charitable giving” into the budget and have fun figuring out which good cause you’re going to shower that month.

Whenever I want a new piece of furniture I save up for it with the “envelope system” and then pay cash. Much less guilt that way. It is a great feeling to count up all those twenty dollar bills as you pick out the winning item.

But seriously, Shelah, you do need a new couch!
Paula
September 15th, 2009 @ 12:31 am

Looks like the replies are wearing BYU and WU outfits and making a virtual pyramid while chanting:

Give me a B

Give my a U

Give me a Y

What does that spell? BUY (the couch.

You guys need to celebrate the fact that you now get regular paychecks. That’s what we did. And I’m comfortably typing slash lying on said couch four years later. Great post! And thanks for mentioning the charity Heifer. It’s my favorite—love, love, LOVE giving to Heifer International!
PaulM
September 15th, 2009 @ 6:52 am

Shelah:

Lindell Ward still stands as my all-time favorite church unit. Whenever we return to STL to visit my wife’s family that’s where we choose to attend. Were we contemporaries? I’m terrible with names.
Shelah
September 15th, 2009 @ 7:03 am

Paul– We were in the ward from 99-02. My husband Ed is really tall, and I’m blonde (probably sounds like almost everyone in the ward, right?). I think we went to a 4th or 24th of July party at your house one year. You lived sorta downtown, didn’t you?
PaulM
September 15th, 2009 @ 3:14 pm

Shelah:

We were contemporaries! And yes you did attend an Independence Day party at our home (we held one every year and invited the whole ward because you could view the fireworks at the Arch from our second story deck and the roof). And now that you mention your hubby’s name I do remember you. My wife has kept up with a number of the former ward members who have since scattered. Of course, being a man I can’t be bothered. Anyway, Wash U is doing just fine. Before the market melt-down its endowment crossed $4billion. Unless you are a long lost Carneggie heiress Wash U really won’t notice.
Natalie
September 15th, 2009 @ 7:44 pm

Get the couch. It will make you happy and comfortable … and there will be time when you’re older and grayer to donate. But if you don’t have a place to sit… then how are you going to write that check?

Just my thinking. Can you tell that my husband is in law school and we’re poor and charity donations seem far away.
Leslie
September 16th, 2009 @ 6:20 am

I’ll let you get a couch-( or spend one extra month saving for it :>) but then start giving :> I think the key is just that keeping giving and that sense of social consciousness in your mind- because i think it’s far too easy to lose to our comfortable world.

While this may sound controversial I think if we all gave up a cafe rio lunch or a new pair of jeans we didn’t really need we could exact a lot of change in the world (no I am not saying going out ot eat or buying clothes is bad-) but sometimes really thinking about how we spend our $ each day, about our excess or luxuries might make us chose to spend that money in more beneficial ways than what we may haphazardly toss in our carts at target.

I do believe in giving such that it makes us sacrifice. I don’t believe in making it just out of comfortable leftovers. I believe in very disciplined giving, to me is essential like staying out of debt. I don’t think tithing is enough (but thats my opinion- tithing/fast offering are the basics) beyond that it’s about putting some money where are heart is. My travels around the world have made me very, very aware of world needs and I have always found it intersting that within the LDS community- beyond church giving there isn’t as much philanthropy? I really want to raise my kids to be involved in actively giving time and money to lots of good causes.
Leslie
September 16th, 2009 @ 6:23 am

oh I just had to say one more thing- I think it’s way to easy to get into the “I’ll give someday mindset” and then well “someday” never comes. So here’s my call to give today- to colleges, community, international organizations- (and hey if you can’t afford to give it outright- just loan it- kiva.org)
m2theh
September 16th, 2009 @ 9:01 am

Buy the couch! We had a couch we got for free for at least 8 years. The good thing was you could barf on it and it would blend in, and I swear you could fit 15 people on it. Once it finally wore out and we had enough cash to buy a new couch, I got a $2000 couch that I absolutely love–it has two recliners and a pull out bed and looks like a poodle–and then everyone started saying that my now house looked like a house. Apparently the old orange couch was bringing everything down.

Buy the couch, and then you can donate some money to charity. I think it’s important to be generous, but it is also important to be comfortable. I love my couch, and I’ve had it for 6 years now, and every time I see it it makes me happy, and I have a comfy place to sit!