Comments on: Finding faith

By: Blog Segullah : Part II of Finding Faith: Raising bicultural kids

Blog Segullah : Part II of Finding Faith: Raising bicultural kids — Tue, 03 Jun 2008 12:26:31 +0000

[...] Raising bicultural kids This is the final (for now) installment in last week’s guest post, “Finding Faith.” We left off at the part when our guest poster had recently married a man of another faith and had [...]

By: The Guest

The Guest — Thu, 29 May 2008 22:00:18 +0000

Nicole, I love your comment. I can remember as a teenager so much wanting my patriarchal blessing to say something along the lines of “I know you struggle with faith, but you don’t need to because I’m here.” It wasn’t until several years later I realized that would’ve only created another set of other problems for me. And really, I try to not worry too much about my husband joining or not (in this life)–I’m doing good just to take care of myself and my babies. I keep wanting to start a blog for all us part-member families to talk about these issues more in depth.

By: Nicole

Nicole — Thu, 29 May 2008 20:23:59 +0000

I like a quote by Terry Givens, -something like this: God did not create a world where we could know for certain that he exists. There is opposition in all things and therefore there is doubt about his existence. Without that doubt there could be no true faith.
I have fought hard for my (little bit of) faith and when I thought I didn’t have it I found that I really did have it. I think that the hard fought faith is so much richer and deeper than superficial blind faith.
I also married a non member. He has since beeen baptised, endowed and we are sealed, but that didn’t solve a single thing. He struggles just like I did. And our communication conflicts are all still there. I’m becoming more and more convinced that, member or not, marriages are meant to be hard and make us grow and stretch. Married to a non member, I expected that. What I didn’t expect was that his joining would not bring bliss.
Kudos for this article. Can’t wait for more.

By: Sharlee

Sharlee — Thu, 29 May 2008 05:04:03 +0000

Thank you for this post and for your honesty and courage.

Here are some truths that I have come to understand:

The opposite of faith is not doubt. The opposite of faith is knowledge.

There can be no faith without doubt. Doubt is an essential element of faith. Faith is choosing to believe and act in spite of doubt.

By: Laura H. Craner

Laura H. Craner — Thu, 29 May 2008 02:36:53 +0000

This is a marvelous post. Nothing is more meaningful to me than a person’s honest experience. Thanks for having the courage to do this!

By: S.Faux

S.Faux — Thu, 29 May 2008 02:20:58 +0000

Doubt is perfectly normal. None of us have perfect belief or faith. If we did, we would be moving mountains. Further, there is nothing that says we have to develop at the same rate. Some people are born with the gift of faith, and others (like me) have to work hard for every speck of faith.

Based on what you have written above, it seems like you have done most things right. On the scorecard of life, there has been only one person who has done better — Jesus. The rest of us have fallen short of the glory of God.

By: Kalli

Kalli — Wed, 28 May 2008 20:08:35 +0000

BYU was a culture shock for me in the worst way too. I spent most of my time at college feeling like BYU was a petri dish of weirdos and I definitely wasn’t one of them.

Faith is a tough question for me because I feel like it’s the one thing I’m best at and struggle the most with all at the same time, if that’s even possible. It’s a constant battle to balance my mind with my heart so I feel you there.

By: The Guest :)

The Guest :) — Wed, 28 May 2008 17:26:46 +0000

Justine, finding the fine line between discussion and expression of doubt is something the church struggles with. In other Christian faiths, when that happens, it leads to apostasy and the formation of new churches, right? I cannot remember ever expressing my doubts in any formal meeting. Perhaps if I had, it would have served me better than my silence. The thing that helped me work out my Joseph Smith angst was Rough Stone Rolling.
Sue, I still think that way.
Jke, that is where I’d like to find myself. Most days your perspective describes me now.
Tonya, I usually feel alone in that while many people say they are doubtful, the still marry in the temple. It seems more okay to question once you’ve made the covenants than if you haven’t. I think on the faith scale, mine is unnaturally low. I couldn’t imagine myself going to the temple without a rock solid testimony–whether that is out of superstition, or respect for the sincere beliefs of others, or bit of both.
Shalissa, I’ve been thinking about it since yesterday, and I think it comes down to getting to know the person individually, and not making any assumptions. One thing I’d say I don’t like is when people who don’t know me very well at all ask me if I think he’ll ever be interested in the church, do I invite him to activities, etc.? I don’t like having to report my missionary efforts to people. Just a couple weeks ago, our ward mission leader changed. I’ve been in this ward for 6 years. The new WML who has never had one conversation with me heretofore, and probably didn’t know my name prior, cornered me on Sunday, wanting to know what the status of things was at my house. I can laugh about it. I know he’s just doing his job.
Thanks for all the comments thus far. And thanks to Dalene. She took probably ten typed pages and edited it down to this installment. She’s a saint.

By: Justine

Justine — Wed, 28 May 2008 14:11:28 +0000

Last weeks relief society lesson began with the statement, “I am, at best, ambivalent about Joseph Smith.” It was a wild roller coaster of a lesson, that’s for sure. I think there’s a place for frank and open discussion (and we certainly had one), but in a church setting, I think it needs to absolutely include hope and at least a mention of the tools we have to find faith. Doubt and concern alone cannot uplift and bring answers. Acknowledging doubts while offering hope seems a course to take to steer clear of a Relief Society lesson rife people jumping on the complaint train. I’ve seen those kinds of lessons go very badly indeed.

By: Jennie

Jennie — Wed, 28 May 2008 13:54:37 +0000

I really appreciate your honesty. I don’t think you should be ashamed to admit at church that you have doubt. I, for one, really admire honesty in a person and would never be judgemental of someone who said that. (Although I’m sure there are lots of people who would freak out if you said that in church.)
I have known so many people who are in the same boat as you. Some of my friends have chosen to stay in church, some have left it. I guess we all have our issues, and complete faith in the church is a huge one for many people. I really look forward to part two.