Finding Hope: Rosalyn Richardson

Posted by Michelle L. | October 30, 2008 | 14 Comments

Ros stopped by for a photo between taking her Math 130 test and going to her mammogram appointment— fun fun fun!

Rosalyn Richardson is tired of being called a saint. She would much rather go back to life before her husband Todd drove to the store to pick up milk, was struck by a drunk driver and sent to the hospital to die. With baby Wade on her hip and four children gathered round, Ros whispered her goodbyes and shifted her vision to a very different future.

But Todd, did live through that night and the next. And despite the doctors’ dire predictions that he would never walk or talk again, Todd came home a few months later.

And this is a mixed blessing. Because although Todd walks through the home and appears capable, he is no longer the take-charge lawyer, father and husband that he was 10 years ago. He speaks fluent Spanish learned on his mission in Mexico but has no memory of his wedding, the births of his children or any life before the accident. He functions at a level between a kindergartner and a 5th grader—able to read, care for himself and do simple tasks but incapable of supervising a child or taking initiative.

Ros had recently lost her job last summer when the ceiling in her kitchen collapsed, filling the room with debris and flooding the main floor. As Ros scrambled to quell the wave of destruction Todd sat quietly at the kitchen table eating his sandwich— observing, but oblivious that Ros needed his help.

“That’s the sort of moment,” Ros told me, “when you want to yell and scream in anger at Todd and at God. My husband looks so competent. But he isn’t.”

So Ros is in the strange position of being a single mother– but not, a widow– but not and the head of her household—most definitely. Shortly after the accident, Ros sold her beautiful new home, the beach house in California, the motorcycles and snowmobiles… and went looking for a job.

In the scramble of working, caring for Todd and nurturing her children (now aged 24 to 10) Ros was forced to rely upon others for help and most especially to rely on God.

How do you maintain your faith?

“It’s not easy. But whenever I am spiraling into despair, someone grabs my arm and holds me until I can climb back up. I know God sends people to me— and in return I try to listen to promptings when Heavenly Father needs me to take care of others.

I am sustained by hope. I look forward to that great Millennial Day when mothers are reunited with babies, fathers with sons and when Todd is restored to me. He will be AWESOME. He will be greater than I can imagine.

My kids have often felt angry about the accident, especially during their teenage years. Sometimes people want to comfort them with the, ‘it could have been worse’ argument, but that doesn’t help them.
I appreciate the people who give my kids a break. My daughters didn’t dress modestly as teenagers .It simply wasn’t a battle I had the energy to fight. Some church leaders would get fixated on what my girls were wearing without recognizing their need to be loved ‘as is.’ My two oldest daughters no longer come to church, but when they do, I’m grateful for friends who express interest in their goals and pursuits rather than why they haven’t been at church.”

What advice do you have for women getting their education?

“I can’t say enough about this. Please go and get an education. Even if you want to pursue intellectual or artistic pursuits get a nursing degree or teaching degree first to pay the bills. My education (or lack thereof) qualified me for jobs that pay only $12 or $13 an hour. A nursing or teaching degree would double that wage. Even if you are no longer young, go get an education (but sadly —college math is so much harder with a 50 year old brain!). You never know when you will need it. All three of my daughters have been extremely motivated to pursue degrees primarily because of the financial struggle they’ve seen me go through. Two are nurses and one is finishing her PhD. I’m proud of my daughters and the wonderful, compassionate people they have become.”

How can we help friends and family going through times of despair?

“Everyone wants their pain acknowledged. As a friend quipped, “Just because the whole world is starving doesn’t make me any less hungry.” We’re often tempted to assure someone that their problems aren’t that bad or to “one-up” them by talking about a greater tragedy. Feelings are real, whether you are struggling with a disobedient 4 year old or an untimely death. We all need compassion on a daily basis.

If you have a prompting to help someone—follow it! A phone call is often better than a visit. When I was between jobs, I had no faith that I would find a new one. But my friends encouraged me, they believed in my ability to keep searching. Many times I have leaned upon the faith of others when my hope fails me.”

Anyone lucky enough to know Ros is among her admirers. Her faith is simple and exquisite, she complains honestly and cheerfully and has an endless well of compassion. Wholly unjudgmental, Ros provides a safe haven for anyone who is different or struggling to fit in.

She won’t like it; but I’m calling her a saint.

Tell me, who inspires you? And during these uncertain times, how do you maintain hope for yourself and others?

Category: Daily Special

Comments

14 Responses to “Finding Hope: Rosalyn Richardson”

TJ Hirst
October 30th, 2008 @ 8:14 am

This story sure is timely to me while my husband lies on the couch recovering from four broken ribs and a fracture in his back from being hit by a tree during a service project. I do feel filled with hope right now because I did imagine when I reached the ER the worst. But like your story illustrates, sometimes the worst moments come in the little stresses compounded after the big emergency is over. Ironically, I watched Pres. Uchtdorf’s talk, The Infinite Power of Hope, just hours before his accident, and the feeling I had from his words has not only sustained me but helped me to see all my husband’s good qualities with new eyes. With that vision, I find reason to rejoice and nurse him back to health, knowing that it may be longer and harder than we think.
jendoop
October 30th, 2008 @ 8:26 am

Great post, thank you.

Honestly I squeeze strength out of every little puddle available or from the greatest of reservoirs, the Savior. My younger sister is having heart surgery tomorrow, if she can do that I can keep going. My husband working overtime and serving in leadership, if he can do it surely I can take care of the kids while he does. My daughter, she keeps going to school every day and giving it her best even though she dislikes it so. I can clean the house when I don’t feel like it.

Every person has something strengthening to give. The question is, can you find what it is?
Renee
October 30th, 2008 @ 8:30 am

There are things that are harder than death. I have watched my mother struggle in a similar way. My father is there, but not there because of a medical condition. Especially touching to me were your comments about the children, needing to be loved “as is”.
Justine
October 30th, 2008 @ 8:54 am

When I was serving in a R.S. capacity a time back, I remember being asked to mentally walk through our ward, picturing each household and the sister within it. The exercise proved to be a powerful one. I came to understand that there wasn’t a single home in our ward where the sister wasn’t struggling in some way.

Your words are so lovely about not suppressing those charitable urges. Our suffering is real for all of us, even if the magnitude or scope is different. And we all need the love of the Lord and the love of good friends. I’m so buoyed to hear your story of finding peace in your struggles.
Sage
October 30th, 2008 @ 10:38 am

This was such a powerful sharing. What an inspiration Ros is. She has my prayers. The Lord surely challenges us in this life, but if we can hang on to hope, we’ll make it through each day and then at last the days will add up to something better than we can imagine. At least that is my faith.
cindy baldwin
October 30th, 2008 @ 12:06 pm

Okay, I want to know more about the statement that she “complains honestly and cheerfully.”

How does one pull that off?

This was a beautiful and inspiring post.
A friend
October 30th, 2008 @ 12:39 pm

She doesn’t know it, but her example was one of the influential factors in helping me stay in my marriage when things weren’t going the way I’d hoped and planned they would. Ros showed me that just because you don’t have what you “signed up for”, you can still maintain a positive attitude, live with unconditional love, be unjudgemental, and press on with faith. And that you can be genuinely happy doing so. That was a key lesson for me to learn, and not a minute too soon.
Amanda D
October 30th, 2008 @ 2:53 pm

I loved reading this. Very inspiring. Thank you.
dalene
October 30th, 2008 @ 7:23 pm

Thanks for sharing your story Ros–God bless you and yours!
wendy
October 30th, 2008 @ 8:03 pm

Yes, thank you for sharing this. Re: your questions, hearing stories like this inspire me. As for maintaining hope, prayer and sharing my heart with the other women in my life helps me stay hopeful.
Kathy
October 30th, 2008 @ 9:48 pm

Loved this post. I love how Ros keeps going. It is that kind of perserverance that keeps me going through tough times. I watch friends of mine, struggling with everything from “a disobedient 4 year old or an untimely death”, and they keep going. It gives me strength. I too, like Jendoop, “squeeze strength out of every little puddle available”

This was a wonderful post… helps me keep perspective. Ros sounds like an inspiration to many and may God bless her.
maralise
October 31st, 2008 @ 2:24 pm

Wow. Thank you Ros for sharing your story. I’m always amazed at the community of women that I call ‘sisters.’ I feel so lucky to hear your stories and your heartaches and your hopes.
steph
October 31st, 2008 @ 2:34 pm

I really needed to read this story today. It is a very powerful reminder for me of so many things that I needed to be reminded about. Thank you so much, Ros, for your incredible example.
Sue
November 1st, 2008 @ 9:14 am

A wonderful post from an impressive lady. Thanks for sharing your wisdom born of experience.