And this is how it goes:

I feel gloopy.

Gloopy is glum and loopy. It’s the state of unwashed mascaraed eye lashes in the early morning. It’s being too cold to get out of bed, but too restless to stay put. There is no shaving anything. It is feeling like you want wash your bed linens, but the energy to do so can hardly be found. You look at the people (and pets) that require your attention as if they have just asked you to sit on mass-destruction talks with North Korea.

“I can’t do that! I feel gloopy!” you exclaim full-expecting that everyone knows the entire etymology of gloopy (and its historical implications).

I know. Everyone feels gloopy in January.

It’s just that I have made some personal–not even New Years–resolutions and they are making me realize that some of my fancy tricks to happiness aren’t healthy. Trips to Target to ward-off insecurities is proving not to be the solution it once was in 2006 (and in 2005…2004…2003 and so on…) What a new darling Issac Mizrahi top once did for my shortcomings last year just won’t do these days.

Doesn’t that make you feel all gloopy inside?

Me too.

Also did you know that a gloopy side effect is, in fact, constant fake hunger? You think a burrito is going to solve the gloopiness. You think about that all day. “If only I could have a burrito…” you are sure it’s the cure. But once you have that burrito, all stuffed with beans and sour cream, you come to the anti-climatic understanding that a burrito (or a hamburger or a chili cheese dog) only made the gloopiness grow inside your soul. You know what you did? You fed the gloopy.

I have been feeling gloopy for two days now, and today is not looking much better.

Well, maybe a little better (don’t push it) because I read a quote today by Brigham Young that goes like this:

Human beings are expected by their Creator to be actively employed in doing good every day of their lives, either in improving their own mental and physical condition or that of their neighbors.

Okay. So. I can improve my gloopy state to. . . perhaps . . . mildly grumpy (big step) and call it a hard day’s work?

I think so.

I think so.

I think so.

But if this lasts longer than a week . . . well . . . I hate to make any rash decisions (not on a gloop-induced mind) but I might need to head to a part of the atmosphere that doesn’t include the word “inversion” into their daily routine.

I feel gloopy.

Thanks for asking.

January 8, 2007
January 11, 2007


  1. Susan

    January 10, 2007

    Hey, Courtney we should hang out. I’ve been feeling all gloopy the past couple of days, too. Husband back to the grindstone after vacation, daughter not started school again yet, son with intestinal problems, diaper rash, and two incoming molars. Oh yeah, our water heater broke, too. Three holes in my kitchen wall later, it’s fixed again. Thank goodness. A nice, hot shower this morning certainly helped take the gloopies away.

    A little.

  2. Angie

    January 10, 2007

    Last night I dreamed that you and Kathy set the whole spring issue to music. You sang and danced it for the rest of us. It definatley wasn’t a gloopy dream.

  3. CJane/Courtney K.

    January 10, 2007

    Oooh! What was I wearing? A white toga? Were there goateed fauns involved? Harps?

  4. Emily

    January 10, 2007

    No inversions in Phoenix.

  5. Justine

    January 10, 2007

    90% chance of snow tomorrow! We’re going sledding on Saturday. Come along! Nothing like risking death on the snow to take away what ails ya”. No kidding. mid-morning, Canyon Crest Elem., in the back. Come everyone who is remotely close to Provo! We’ll swoosh those gloopies away.

    Anything that makes you scream like a little girl has got to be good for you!

  6. kelly m

    January 10, 2007

    when i feel gloopy, the only thing that pulls me out of it is starting my period. i don’t know whhhy, or what the connection is… but that’s the only thing that helps.
    and may i say that target falls under making yourself better, and therefore would be approved as a daily activity by your maker…not doctrine though.

  7. Carina

    January 10, 2007

    I think this calls for a little DJ Crizzy Snick Snick action in the step-down lounge.

  8. Natalie

    January 10, 2007

    i feel gloopy today as well. and for that reason you won’t find me at the membership desk at the big C today. I called in sick. Ethan just rented us a Hugh Grant movie so hopefully that will help. Maybe the gloopies will go away for you once the Thai’s (is that how you say it?) come back to the US.

  9. Lyle

    January 10, 2007

    Oh no. c-jane. Oh how I pray there will not be a gloopy epidemic breaking out like the floral shirt epidemic (which was a good epidemic). I send all my good mo-jo your way.

    I am in favor of the sledding idea….or for the more daring..uncle Louis’ human slingshot will snap any gloopyness. Afterwards, you could have your neighbor Becky (70th south…) give you a full body massage.

  10. Leslie J

    January 10, 2007

    Isn’t January with its bitter cold and its cement colored skies the epitome of gloop?

  11. Pflower

    January 10, 2007

    Cjane, I love that you have named this feeling that , it sounds, most of us have been feeling. January is a very hard month. The Christmas thrill is gone taking with it the parties, gifts and warm fuzzies and leaving it it’s wake the extra pounds, no special decor, and a little ritual of setting new goals for ourselves that I like to call “I suck, and I need to change everything about me” resolutions. I think that feeling gloopy is our badge of honour ( I added that extra U just for U Cjane) that we get to wear proudly…….springtime will be here in no time and so will all the new spring fashions and extra’s at Target. Enjoy your gloopyness while it lasts. Just think of this as your catching up on all that ( insert your much needed activity here) time

  12. Cardine

    January 10, 2007

    I’m sorry you’re feeling that way. I had a moment of non-gloopiness yesterday because I tried a new Thai recipe. Maybe hosting a small dinner party would help, even if it’s just for you and the Chupacabra?

  13. Dalene

    January 10, 2007

    I’m so sorry. It has been an especially gloopy January. I have felt it too. And I can tell you, dragging oneself to work every day does not make it any better.

    Here are a few things that helped me feel less gloopy: Sitting by a sunny window and falling asleep with the sun on my face. Looking really, REALLY hard for those tiny but blessed tender mercies (I just found a couple, but they warmed my heart). Laughing out loud.

    I think seeing the Monterey Jazz Festival on my calendar for March will help me get through January. I suggest travel plans in the near future. Change is good.

  14. Megan

    January 10, 2007

    I understand how you feel. I have been gloopy for quite a while now. It’s not something I wish on anyone. Be like Peter Pan and think happy thoughts. It will lift you so high out the window, you will be too scared to look down again.

  15. Angie

    January 11, 2007

    I don’t remember anything about harps or fauns…but you were in something flowing and white, come to mention it.

  16. Leisha

    January 11, 2007

    I take great solace in the gloopy solidarity I have found here. I too shall resolve not to feed my inner gloopiness with trips to Target and bean burritos. (Although, I’m not entirely convinced that ‘darling Issac Mizrahi tops’ cannot give a boost to my shortcomings!!?)

  17. Rachel

    January 11, 2007

    Oh, what I wouldn’t give to gloop around a little bit… I don’t ever have time for that in January. January for me means that I start new classes with new teachers and drive around town spending tons of money are more art supplies. My leisurly December is over and really I am just a home-body who hates being gone all day.

    I hope Webster puts your word in the dictionary.

  18. Karen

    January 11, 2007

    I agree with Darlene about the sun. When I get a sunny day I make the dog move over and I lie in it for a little bit. Ahh, the light, the warmth! I also went to see a fun movie, and look forward to a long weekend so I can hang out with my family. Maybe I’ll be able to keep the gloopies under control!

  19. Geo

    January 11, 2007

    I know this is why I ate some of The Ancestor’s strawberry Pop-Tarts today. Pop-Tarts don’t help. Believe me. Don’t do it.

    Watching the BBC’s Bleak House alleviates the gloops, but when you reach the end of disc you will likely relapse into gloopsterhood. Still, it’s a great eight hours. A buck and a half for a week’s rental from the Orem library–after next Thursday, that is. I renewed the set. Sorry.

  20. Geo

    January 11, 2007

    Disc THREE, that is. If you change discs quickly enough, you won’t find your gloops again until the whole story’s finished.

  21. RahRahSisBoomBah

    January 13, 2007

    I left my gloops in the dust and got back on the elliptical. 2007 is my year! I can feel it. New state, new state-of mind, 50 lbs. of physical and emotional baggage be gone, new house on the way, (as soon as I find it), and a fire in the belly. January is a GREAT month! I turn 38 in a couple of weeks and get to go on an overnight stay and see some movies at the Sundance Film Fest. Come on ladies! Pretend the inversion is just a big wave that you get to ride over the top of.

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