Goodbye Old Ward!

Posted by Carina | May 25, 2009 | 18 Comments

We’re getting ready to leave the ward that we’ve been in for a decade. To be honest with you, we never thought we’d stay this long and we never thought it would feel this short. When I moved in to the ward we’d been married just two years. Since that time I graduated from college, so did my husband, we had two kids, and we both embarked on chosen careers (well, kind of chosen, I’m still not the ambassador to Spain or America’s Next Top Model.)

I’ve seen my beehives grow into women who’ve graduated from college, married, had babies, started their own lives, or moved far away from home. I’ve seen others struggle with drug addiction, divorce, unexpected life changes, and family crises. I wondered if anything I ever shared, or taught them, helped them make a right choice, or to bravely deal with consequences.

Neighbors have come and gone, particularly in this ward that has a section of married student housing. I’ve met brothers and sisters from all over the world: Brazil, Uganda, Guatemala, and Louisiana. I know we’re moving to a ward that is more stationary, but probably less diverse. I think I’ll miss the accents and halted English when we shared together in Relief Society.

Just three years ago I was morning sick around the clock and making a giant birthday cake to celebrate one of the sister’s 100th birthdays. This year she turns 103. I’ve seen dozens of babies blessed and even a surprise set of twins. I will not miss the two creaky armchairs in the nursing alcove that smelled of the adjacent bathroom–two armchairs for three wards’ worth of nursing babies. I never did bring that WD-40 I always thought I’d remember to tuck into my church bag.

I feel like we’re about to embark on our next ward adventure. What friends will we meet? How will my kids fit in? What callings will come our way?

I’m going to miss the friends we’ve made, that have watched us grow; our funny, slightly nosy, ever-fluctuating, sometimes quirky, always rod-holding, but comfortable old ward.
Do you still miss your old ward? Were you glad to leave? How are you fitting into your newer ward?

Category: Daily Special

Comments

18 Responses to “Goodbye Old Ward!”

Amira
May 25th, 2009 @ 3:54 pm

I love moving to a new ward (except for sorting out the callings). It’s definitely an adventure. There are a few past wards I miss a lot, but I’d have missed out on more if we hadn’t moved on.

I don’t fit in particularly well in our current ward, but that’s okay. There have been past wards that didn’t work so well for me either. There will be future wards that are better.
Sue
May 25th, 2009 @ 4:12 pm

We’ve been really lucky to live in a bunch of great wards ever since we got married. I love, love, love my current ward. Buckets of love, it’s positively sickening.
Justine
May 25th, 2009 @ 4:19 pm

I still sometimes miss the synergy in one of my singles wards. It was the ward I met my husband in, and the ward was so close that we still have the ocasional reunion. But there was also one ward that I was really glad to bid adeiu to. Sometimes things seem to come together, and sometimes they don’t. I can’t ever imagine leaving our current ward. It is home to us.

Are you moving into my ward? Probably not, huh? Oh, well. I tried…
Carina
May 25th, 2009 @ 4:22 pm

Justine,

You DID try, you did your best, and then this other house fell into our laps. You need to hear the story first hand. Maybe Tuesday…
Brenda
May 25th, 2009 @ 4:46 pm

We’ve been in several different wards over the past 14 years of our married life. Some we connected more with than others, but mainly because we put forth more effort. All wards are about the same to me. You get out what you put in. We moved to our most recent ward about seven months ago. And I’ve just been too tired to bother getting to know people. But they are great people and one of these days I’ll break down and get more involved. It’s so much work meeting new people!
courtney
May 25th, 2009 @ 5:14 pm

I’ve been in my current ward for almost ten months, and it has been a very difficult adjustment. I didn’t realize how much we loved the previous ward until we left it after three years. We don’t feel like we belong in the new ward, but we recognize that it’s largely our fault for not reaching out more. Like Brenda (#5) said, it’s SO much work meeting new people! It’s incredibly difficult to be so vulnerable all the time. I hope I always remember feeling like this so I will always reach out to new people.
We’re moving again in the next couple months, and I am really excited to start fresh again. I’m determined to do all I can to love my next ward, particularly because we’re moving to a new state and we expect to be there for an extended period of time.
Selwyn
May 25th, 2009 @ 5:49 pm

I miss certain people from my old branch. I was exceedingly glad to leave – the branch was witness to the awful collapse of my marriage.

I like my new branch – they have totally taken me as who I am and I have been able to be just me, not “Sr So and So who’s husband such and such…”

Branches don’t give you much choice in fitting in – if you turn up, you’re in!

Good luck with your move =)
jenny
May 25th, 2009 @ 7:12 pm

I don’t love my ward.

I try every time I go to love *something* about it.
Even if it’s just one little thing that day.
If I concentrate, I am usually successful.
(It’s a case by case basis…)

But the church is still true.
Katrina
May 25th, 2009 @ 7:26 pm

What a timely post! We just had our last Sunday in our ward before moving. Next week I’ll be visiting the ward I grew up in and haven’t been to in 5 years and then the week after we’ll be in a whole new ward. So this topic has definitely been on my mind lately. I’m sad to leave here and excited for whats to come, but nervous too. This will be my first time in a Utah ward as a married. I’m not sure what to expect.
Mommom
May 25th, 2009 @ 8:26 pm

When we moved here in 2000 we had been married 12 years and our new ward was going to be our seventh ward. I still can’t believe we’ve been in one spot for nine years. And our ward is family. There are folks that drive us crazy, and yet we work it out. I know I drive some people crazy (I don’t do it on purpose – not usually). So many who leave me simply in awe. I love them.

I do have some other wards were we felt at home. We missed people when we left and we still talk fondly of them. I have a feeling we’ll meet again.

One ward we were in less than 6 months. That was hard. But I do think I’ve seen examples of people who jumped in better than we did.

Others we were in a weird place (mentally, physically, emotionally & spiritually). It had to confuse people to have someone with 100% vt, who would hold a calling, but we didn’t come on Sunday very often.

That time, moving allowed us to make a change that was more than just a physical location. For the better.
FoxyJ
May 25th, 2009 @ 9:27 pm

We’re moving in three weeks, and it’s hard because finally we’ve discovered during the last month or two that we do have friends here. We moved here less than a year ago and thought we were going to stay for a while, but it turns out that we need to move on to somewhere else. Our ward is somewhat unusual because it’s a ‘married student ward’ so every family has at least one member (usually the husband) in school (usually graduate school). It took us a while to fit in because I’ve been the one in school and my husband doesn’t attend church. When you’re the only person with an inactive spouse in a small ward, it’s hard to fit in. But the thing I’ve loved is that they have all been so supportive and friendly to us. Plenty of offical and unofficial activities, and just plenty of love and support from everyone. My last ward had a lot of little established groups when I moved into it, and even after nearly two years I had a hard time finding a place to fit in. I’m looking forward though, to going back to a ward like that one with a bigger variety of ages and life situations, but I know that I’m actually going to miss this one that we ended up in for a short time.
Giggles
May 26th, 2009 @ 12:00 am

I do still miss a past ward. We have a group on Facebook for all of us who ever lived there and it’s so much fun to keep in touch with everyone still.

The scripture theme of that ward, through at least three bishops, was D&C 51:17 – And the hour and the day is not given unto them, wherefore let them act upon this land as for years, and this shall turn unto them for their good.

It was a transient ward (tons of apartments). But we all tried to live as if we’d be there forever. And while some were there for a few months and some for many years, we all made it work. It was a great example to me of how a ward should work.
Sage
May 26th, 2009 @ 5:12 am

We’ve been in the New York area for nine years. Our first ward here was probably the best ward I’ve ever been in. it was fairly transient, but so accepting and loving. After just two months there I felt more loved and included than I had in our Utah ward after two years. (People rely more on each other when they have fewer family members nearby). But after a year we stopped renting and moved to a new ward half hour north. We loved that ward too. And then a couple years later they changed the boundaries. We still miss that ward, but love the new one. But, my heart misses that first NY ward still. Facebook has reconnected me with many of them.
Kay
May 26th, 2009 @ 2:57 pm

I have lived in so many wards over the years, and have in the main really enjoyed all of them. Some I have loved and others just liked a lot. We have lived in this ward for 11 years, a life sentance. The longest I had ever spent anywhere before was 4 years. I had no idea we would still be here. I do not love it but feel I have my place in it. I have any good friends here. I have always worked hard at all my callings etc. No matter what I do, no matter how close I am to some people, I just cannot fall in love with this ward. Maybe it is because there are so many issues here between certain families which cause numerous problems. It seems harder because I really did love my last ward. My children have only known this ward and would never want to leave. It is o.k. here but when I look back at times I have been really happy elsewhere I know I am missing out on something. I do miss the moving too as I enjoy starting afresh somewhere.
Sue
May 28th, 2009 @ 12:16 am

My husband and I have been married since 1972, and we’ve only been in two wards that entire time. We have loved them both for different reasons.

I do think that it’s harder to “fit in” to a ward once you no longer have children at home.
Jennie
May 28th, 2009 @ 1:44 pm

I just get an itch for a change every few years and am always glad to go even when I have loved the ward.

Our first ward we lived in was like yours. Me moved in as newlyweds and moved out seven years later with four kids. One of my little Mia Maids was the first babysitter I ever hired. I was so nervous to entrust my little baby to a silly teenager. But we’re going to visit that “silly teenager” this summer in Utah. She now has three kids of her own and my little baby, who is now 13, is planning on babysitting them. It’s the circle of life!
Michelle L.
May 29th, 2009 @ 7:16 am

I still miss the ward I moved from 5 years ago– and I think that’s OK. I love going to wedding receptions and such in my old ward. It feels like coming home.
Miggy
June 2nd, 2009 @ 6:22 pm

Hi Carina {Azucar?} It’s me. Sup.

We were only in our last ward 4 years (as opposed to 10) and have only been to our new ward once, but already it’s feeling a little tough. I’m just wondering if I will feel a close bond with even one sister, where in our old ward I had a lot of great friends. Since this is also a new city and not just a new ward I really want at least one great friend…not too much to ask is it? Since B and I were married 2 weeks before we moved to our ward that was the only ward we’ve known as a married couple and I think it set the standard pretty high.

No advice here, just commiseration. Good luck.