Comments on: Holding My Tongue

By: Emily M.

Emily M. — Fri, 13 Jul 2007 05:22:26 +0000

Thanks, annegb. I needed that.

By: annegb

annegb — Fri, 13 Jul 2007 04:23:22 +0000

You know, I was very hard on myself when I was a young mother. I know I could have and should have been better.

However, I had four kids, dogs, cats, guinea pigs, sundry other animals, a husband with a sporadic income, three callings, PTA responsibilities, I canned everything I could get my hands on, ground the wheat into flour from which I made bread. I trucked kids all over to various lessons that somehow I scraped up the money for and then went to all the performances and games.

I honestly don’t know how I survived physically, let alone mentally. I wish I’d been kinder to my kids, but before you young girls beat yourself up for snapping at your child yet again, make a list of all the things you did today, and ask how on earth was it humanly possible.

I do need to pray and stop telling my little neighbor girl to quit her bawling. I give her a cookie and a hug, but still

By: Heather

Heather — Thu, 12 Jul 2007 22:41:25 +0000

Funny, I was thinking along those same lines last night too. I few months ago my family was going through some trials, and we were desperate to have the Spirit in our home. Because we needed prayers answered so badly we really made an effort to bring peace to our home. We listened to hymns, watched little TV, read the scriptures and uplifting books and magazines. Not only did our answers come, but we treated each other better. I had more patience with my husband and kids even in the midst of our stress. I was noticing last night how now that things have settled down and I’m not desperate I have let these thing slide, and it was showing last night in my kids lack of obedience and my lack of patience. I’m trying to recommit to the things I was doing before. After all, our character is formed as much by the ordinary as it is by the crisis.

By: Matt

Matt — Thu, 12 Jul 2007 18:51:17 +0000

I have noticed similar things in my house. My 6-year-old is much more mature and level headed than most of the Aaronic Priesthood in my ward, and as a result I think that I am frequently harder on him than, in hindsight, I ought to be.

By: FoxyJ

FoxyJ — Thu, 12 Jul 2007 18:39:12 +0000

I realized the other day that I talk to my almost-four-year old and my one-year-old completely differently. My girl hears “stop hitting your brother”, “I’ll help you in a minute”, “please be quiet”, “get your clothes on”, “go potty”, “Mommy’s busy”, etc. all day long. My little boy hears “you’re so cute”, “good job”, “such a big boy”, and sometimes “no no”. I realized that as my daughter has gotten older that my expectations for her have increased a little too much. I cut the baby a lot more slack, which I think I should, but I am not as kind with her. I take her misbehavior personally because it seems more deliberate since she should “know better”. (Plus she’s really verbal, so I think it’s easy for me to assume that she’s smarter and more mature than she is). My husband has the same problem and we’re trying to work on positive discipline. It’s hard. It’s so much easier to just sit on the couch and yell “stop that”. But when I step back and see things from my daughter’s perspective, I realize that she just needs love and sympathy. I also think I need to read Elder Holland’s talk again

By: Jamie

Jamie — Thu, 12 Jul 2007 17:01:55 +0000

Justine–that’s so great! I love what your son said, first because it show that you haven’t been teachign the gospel to a deaf wall all these years (how rewarding to hear his simple testimony) and second because it’s so true. The simplest and most effective way to get a handle on things and invite the Spirit to our home is prayer. Several times a day, if need be, but it always works, doesn’t it? Tahnks for sharing, and hugs right back at ya!

By: Justine

Justine — Thu, 12 Jul 2007 14:45:02 +0000

My husband and I were just discussing this talk last night — on the patio, as we escaped the screaming tirade of a house inside — and remembering that we are either inviting or dis-inviting the spirit into our home.

I was sitting on the ground, muttering something to myself about how I just can’t be a parent anymore, prozac, insanity, child-less vacations, 4 p.m. bedtimes…you get the picture.

Don, though, was as calm and still as a windless pond. “I just re-listened to Elder Holland’s talk. I’m trying to stay calm. We need the Spirit to help us know what to do.”

And, as I commented that I would do anything, including paying someone thousands of dollars, to tell me what to do to fix the problems we were having, my son piped up, “Mom, ask the Lord. He won’t charge you anything.”

Yeah.

Jamie, I feel for you. We’re going through it right now, too. Hugs.