Home Sweet Home

Posted by Jessie | January 27, 2012 | 14 Comments

Every day one of my children comes rushing in the door and heads straight to the bathroom. We’ve talked repeatedly about the physical issues that can come up from holding it in all day, but she refuses to listen to reason and only uses the bathroom in public when the situation becomes absolutely unavoidable. As much as I give her a hard time about it, I can understand her feelings because I was the same way as a child (and young adult). Something about institutional, public settings made it nearly impossible for me to relax. I didn’t really get over my discomfort with public restrooms until I got to the MTC and realized that I would be living in a dorm and sharing a not-so-cozy public bathroom with a number of other people for eight weeks. I could either adapt or make myself sick, so I adapted.

It’s not just public bathrooms that make me uncomfortable; I’ve long preferred my own home to public places. I never understood my college roommates that preferred to study on campus in the library. I couldn’t concentrate unless I was at home curled up on my familiar bedspread or tucked into a corner of my couch with my shoes off. The formality and, well, publicness of being on campus were just too much for me. Even after I graduated, grew up, and had children, I still liked being at home with them. I have family members that tease me a little about the fact that I hate spending time in my car, but I bought a house in the middle of town just so I wouldn’t have to spend inordinate amounts of time out and about running errands. I’d rather eat my lunch at home at my own kitchen table (and use my own master bathroom with its comfortable seat, pretty plants, and fancy scented soap).

Last year I had to go back to work, and I was surprised by how hard it was to transition back into being away from my own home for so many hours each week (I’m currently working part-time, but it still felt like a lot at first). Yes, I miss my kids and I miss being there for them at important times of the day, but my homesickness was a separate feeling. I missed my cozy couch, my (generally) uncluttered schedule, and my ability to eat lunch without having to clock out and walk across the building to the shared break room to microwave my little Tupperware container before eating by myself. My job really is quite nice and I’m grateful that I generally love what I do, that I get to work with the public, and that I do get breaks and other perks that many people don’t enjoy at their places of employment. But I still miss the “stay at home” part of being a stay-at-home mom.

One of the highlights of my first day of work was being shown the back room where staff work. I share a cubicle with someone else, but I’m learning to love my own little office space. After a few months I finally got around to bringing in a framed picture of my kids, and now I have a little fabric snowman that was a Christmas present from a co-worker. There are piles of papers and little reminders all over the place, and even the clutter is starting to feel comfortable. Tonight when I got to work I looked at my desk and realized something: it’s starting to feel like home, and that’s OK. I still wish I had my own private bathroom, though.

What about you—do you like to stay home or do you mind being out and about all day? If you work, do you feel comfortable there? How do you feel about public bathrooms?

Category: Daily Special

Comments

14 Responses to “Home Sweet Home”

Amira
January 27th, 2012 @ 5:10 am

I love to be home. It can be anywhere in the world, but as long as it’s my space, it’s home and where I want to be.

I have used a wide variety of public bathrooms in my life. I’d always rather use the one at home, but let’s just say there have been many times when being picky wasn’t an option. This is bringing back some less-than pleasant memories, and some funny ones too.
KDA
January 27th, 2012 @ 7:09 am

Jessie: Thanks for illustrating how difficult(but manageable) it can be for some to adapt to unfamiliar surroundings. I am glad that you have that space in your cubicle that allows you to personalize an area at work.

For the most part, I define myself through my social connections, which has encouraged me to see my home as a fueling station. I get the resources I need at home so that I can connect beyond the home. Now that I am older, I am enjoying more time at home, but I still get cagey after about four hours in the house.

I have family members who have the inverse relationship: they go out of the house primarily to get resources to bring back home, so that they can nest. They spend more time than I do decorating their homes as expressions of their personality. They feel more invaded when others are in their homes. I try to respect their boundaries, and I try not to drag them out more than they prefer.

My children are polar opposites. When they were pre-schoolers, I used to plan daily outings for them during my summer break. We would spend 3 or 4 hours running around rural West Virginia–visiting parks, swimming pools, children’s museums, nature preserves, etc. When we pulled into the driveway after the day’s adventure, my son would sulk, “Awww! Do we have to go home.” But my daughter would rejoice, “Hooray! We are finally home.”
Debra
January 27th, 2012 @ 9:09 am

i have always been a homebody. i remember at a young age calling my mom during sleepovers and feigning sickness so that she would have to come get me and i could sleep in my own bed, at home. i enjoy vacations but am always a little relieved to come home at the end of them. we are a one-car family and i kind of like the excuse of not being able to leave as often.

i don’t think of myself as a hermit. i enjoy social interactions, i am fine with public restrooms, and i get out of the house when i should. i just really love being home. i think it’s a good thing. i hope that my children feel an intensity of love and peace in our home that lures them back here as often as possible.
Cindy
January 27th, 2012 @ 9:46 am

I love my home. I love being at home, I NEVER feel a need to leave. I always have plenty of things to keep me busy here–both things I don’t want to do (cleaning, laundry) and things I’m dying to do. (Blogging, sewing, playing games with my kids.) I HATE running errands–it always takes hours and seems like such a waste of my time. (Though I don’t mind using public toilets while I’m out!) BUT–I love traveling! I always joke that I hate going to the grocery store, but I’ll drive with just my kids from the east coast to Utah. It makes no sense, even to me!
Bonnie
January 27th, 2012 @ 12:10 pm

Homebody.
Lisa G.
January 27th, 2012 @ 4:28 pm

Not me! I hate coming home. I love being on the road so much I wanted to be a long-haul truck driver when I was in high school. I could easily be a professional vagabond. Now I do like to have a “home” space, even if it’s a hotel room or even my car. The first thing I do when I get to a motel or my mom’s house is unpack my bag and “move in.” I tried to convert my family to vagabonding by taking them on a round-the-world trip, but they just wanted to go home and now I’ve ruined them and I can’t even get them to Seattle for the weekend. Sigh. I’m always looking for travel partners . . .
Lisa G.
January 27th, 2012 @ 4:29 pm

But I do prefer my home toilet.
Sage
January 28th, 2012 @ 7:16 am

I’m a homebody too! I also have a daughter who wouldn’t use the toilet at school. I always have to cover public toilets with some tissue first or even use the hand soap to clean them, but I am always grateful tha public toilets are readily available (served my mission in Peru).

I do switch modes sometimes and love to travel, but always relieved to be home!
Barb
January 28th, 2012 @ 9:26 am

When my main job detail was selling pens for a living, I had my own little office that I entered through my supervisor’s larger office. I always wanted to bring decorations but with my ocd it was too complicated. It had such promise. Now I work from home and use the office my family has. I love looking over at the picture of my nieces and great-step nephew! And I’m spoiled because my mom is retired and often makes me lunch. My dad is retired too so I have no shortage of face time.
Kellie aka Selwyn
January 29th, 2012 @ 7:21 am

I like being at home. Though when I travel (which is rare) I like being out looking at things (but avoid crowds as much as possible).

I work, and am finally feeling comfortable there. It’s working in an aged care facility, and I try to make it as ‘home-y’ as I can for those that live there.

As for public toilets – the first year of my nursing degree ensured I’d never look at (or touch) public toilets in the same way ever again…
Melissa M.
January 29th, 2012 @ 3:08 pm

I love, love, love being at home. It’s my very favorite place to be. I also love libraries and bookstores, though. =)
Melissa T
February 1st, 2012 @ 8:30 pm

I just had my first baby and everyone is so worried about me getting out of the house. I try to explain that I’ve waited my whole life to have such a great reason to stay home all the time, but no one seems to believe me. The stay at home part of being a mom is my second favorite part, after the baby.
Natasha
February 8th, 2012 @ 11:33 am

I love to be at home! I love traveling, but there is nothing like coming back home after a trip. And I was exactly like your child during school- (well, who am I kidding, I still am…) I try to avoid public restroom at all costs.
Ana of the Nine Kids
February 8th, 2012 @ 1:01 pm

I alternate in what I do–stay home one day, go out the next. I LOVE staying home but two days in a row and I start to feel a little stir crazy. But two days in a row of going out (and by “out” I mean running errands or shopping for a couple of hours) and I start to feel like I’m a chicken running with my head cut off. So I like both. I’ve often wondered if it has to do with the introvert/extrovert issue–do you get your energy from being with people or being by yourself? I LOVE being with people and exchanging ideas but there are many times that I’ll head home (after pleasant experiences at church or visiting teaching) and feel SO HAPPY that now I can go home and not see anybody for a day or two because I LOVE being by myself too. (Because of this I haven’t figured out whether I’m an introvert or an extrovert. Any ideas? )