But I appreciate your honesty, Emily, and thank you for your perspective too.

Folks, we are past the magic 100 mark, and I’m going to close this post now. I appreciate all of those who have contributed to this discussion, and I apologize to those who were offended.

Good night.

Again, I absolutely think we need to talk about how to handle it when we disagree with something an apostle says (and my first comment reflected what I believe was the intent of your post) but still wish to be faithful, active members of the Church, who sustain those very apostles. It just seemed like the initial post title was provocative in a “look at this post, controversy-ahead” sort of way, and that provocativeness came at the expense of some of the respect that I hope for our prophets and apostles.

I trust you, that you didn’t perceive it as disrespectful in that way, or you wouldn’t have posted it. I just thought I might have another go at explaining why some people were offended by it. It’s hard to separate the very real question from the perceived disrespect, even though I am sure it was not intended.

(but you still rock, and I still want to send you virtual hugs, especially if you’re swine-fluing right now–did I remember that right?)

http://www.lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.jsp?hideNav=1&locale=0&sourceId=157e94bf3938b010VgnVCM1000004d82620a____&vgnextoid=2354fccf2b7db010VgnVCM1000004d82620aRCRD

Sherri Dew made a point, it seemed, of using this title in her Ensign history of the Relief Society (see here http://www.lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.jsp?hideNav=1&locale=0&sourceId=157e94bf3938b010VgnVCM1000004d82620a____&vgnextoid=2354fccf2b7db010VgnVCM1000004d82620aRCRD). Notice how much that seems to honor these extraordinary women. We just don’t seem to use this parlance much as regular Mormons. I wish we would. /End threadjack

Playing “devil’s advocate” is never a good idea. But asking an honest heart felt question because you are confused by something is not bad. We all, at some point, are an “investigator” and seeking the truth on a topic. We are told that “if any of ye lack wisdom, let him ask of God.” Imagine if a young Joseph Smith hadn’t thought to question what he was hearing and try to understand it better.

Bringing up an opposing idea just to bring it up is not good. But saying you don’t understand something or don’t know how it fits, is fine. And it’s also perfectly fine for the teacher to say they don’t have the answer and suggest personal prayer and study.

Kathryn: I’ve pondered whether to post, but your first comment (87) troubled me greatly, and not just because the poster is a dear friend. To attribute sinister motives (to claim virtual stone-throwing) to a sister seeking to honestly grapple, within the kingdom, with a dilemma we ALL grapple with at some point . . . . it felt like shaming. *Tell her* you found the reference to his name sans title jarring, own that discomfort and share it with compassion — that’s how we learn and grow from each other . . . but saying the post had a “bad spirit” akin to evil-doers . . . that can’t be what you intended . . .

I really feel like you were being completely unfair to posters when suggesting they were essentially stoning an apostle. Quite to the contrary, this thread has been very overwhelmingly in support of sustaining our leaders, including the ones who on occasion say something that doesn’t feel right.