I Have a Secret

Posted by Carina | December 12, 2007 | 26 Comments

Shh, don’t tell, I don’t have a calling right now in my ward.

I was released in May of this year from Young Women, after seven years. I’ve been through two presidencies and thousands of girls. OK, not thousands, my ward is pretty small, but I’d seen my fair share of beehives make it to college. I wasn’t one of those Sunday-only Advisors; I was there faithfully every Wednesday as well. The whole she-bang was a commitment that I grew to love.

At first I thought I had been granted a loving reprieve from serving in Zion. I’d just had my second baby, my husband was still in school, and I was looking for a job. It was kind of a crazy time and being able to concentrate on my family was exactly what I needed. I found out later that a rumor had circulated that we were moving. We weren’t. Our house had been up for sale for about two months the previous year before we found out we were expecting and pulled the house off the market.

How much do I love that we were released based on the rumor of moving—one that no one actually bothered to ask us about? I love that a lot. I take my wards like I take my men: full of quirks.

However, it’s been more than six months. I haven’t been without a calling for this long since I was 12 years old. Don’t get me wrong, I am making the most of this opportunity. I am doing my visiting teaching. I go to church (a logistical feat that sometimes boggles my mind, thank you very much.) I even attempt to stay awake in Sunday School (a feat of self-control that sometimes boggles my mind, thank you very much.)

I think I will call this a sabbatical for God. I took this time as a gentle guide to get back to the basics. If I ever needed a time to be on a sabbatical, it would be now. But how long is too long? Should I be actively pursuing another calling? Should I be on the phone to the bishop explaining that I need to be serving and that he needs to find me a spot? Because to tell you the truth, I have enjoyed this sabbatical and the reconnection it has afforded me.

Oh, and the perennial question, should I be feeling guilty that I haven’t been feeling guilty about flying under the radar?

Category: Daily Special

Comments

26 Responses to “I Have a Secret”

Geo
December 12th, 2007 @ 6:29 pm

Hey, the Lord knows where to find you. Take a bubble bath. You’re in the right place at the right time, doing the right things.
Adri
December 12th, 2007 @ 6:36 pm

I had a similar experience earlier this year, and felt the same as you: weird that I wasn’t in a calling for so long, but enjoying it, too. I agree with Geo….if your ward leaders are leading the way they should (ie. with the spirit), your name will come up when the time is right.
Julie P
December 12th, 2007 @ 6:38 pm

You shouldn’t feel even a bit guilty. Being a visiting teacher *is* a calling. And everyone deserves a break. Enjoy it – probably won’t last much longer!
Matt
December 12th, 2007 @ 6:56 pm

I think I hear your phone ringing. It’s the executive secretary…
Dalene
December 12th, 2007 @ 7:03 pm

What they said–enjoy!

This isn’t really the same, but I’m trying to keep a low profile because I currently have the best calling: Activity Day leader. I got a little nervous ecently when the entire YW and RS and cub scouts turned upside down and there were holes to fill everywhere. I wasn’t too worried about the first two, but last time they put me in cub scouts they couldn’t get anyone to say “Yes” and replace me when it was due time, so it seemed like an eternity.
Justine
December 12th, 2007 @ 7:03 pm

You could lobby for something cool…
Suzie Petunia
December 12th, 2007 @ 7:09 pm

What you aren’t telling us is that you wear an invisibility cloak to church… right? How else could you possibly “fly under the radar” for so long? Its good you’ve been able to enjoy your sabbatical and not fester with guilt. What a mentally healthy person you must be!
Amira
December 12th, 2007 @ 7:24 pm

You’re doing better than I am. I’ve had a calling for 8 months out of the last 30 months (I don’t have one now), I’ve been visiting teaching about 4 times in that time (and visited even less), and haven’t been to Sunday School more than a handful of times. But we’ve lived in some odd places that have contributed to that. I don’t bother feeling guilty about any part of it, or whether I ought to.

There are lots of ways to serve without a calling.
pjb
December 12th, 2007 @ 9:27 pm

Steven Covey in his book that teaches the importance of being “Christ Centered” was a hugh boon for me many years ago.
(3 young kids and being the R.S. pres.)
His statement that was most powerful for me was when someone inquired about his wife not having a calling presently.
He had a strong response that his wife indeed had 8 callings, i.e. her husband, 6 kids, and being a V.T. That says a lot to me.
I’d like to think that is a true statement, and we don’t just preach it but we strive to implement family first.
I’ve seen “calling addicts” in the church.
kiki
December 12th, 2007 @ 9:46 pm

I totally endorse flying under the radar. I shall continue to do so. I think my favorite thing about being back out in Utah right now is that it is so easy to hide.
Cari
December 12th, 2007 @ 11:43 pm

That would never happen in my ward. There’s so many people who have retired from church service or are inactive in our ward that many of us active people have at least two jobs. I’m kind of jealous of you to be honest.
rebrob
December 13th, 2007 @ 1:42 am

oooh be careful! I know some people who know you…
brooke
December 13th, 2007 @ 2:31 am

you are so lucky…
Emily
December 13th, 2007 @ 11:46 am

I’m enjoying a bit of a sabbatical myself. . . from church callings, from after-school activities with the kids (sports and such), from PTA, from book club, etc. It’s rather nice. I treat myself to a nap everyday.
Heather O.
December 13th, 2007 @ 4:07 pm

You’re not supposed to say these things out loud!!! Now somebody will NOTICE you….
Claudia
December 13th, 2007 @ 4:19 pm

I used to know a really fine lady, a military wife who moved into our ward and was instantly inside the inner circles. When asked how she did it she said that whenever she went to a new place she looked around and discovered where the center of power was and then got next to it. If that is out of reach then, it is important to be strong enough spiritually to be able to stay close to the Lord and even grow when one doesn’t have a calling.

That you would love the idea that people are talking behind your back and making decisions that effect your life based on false information is astounding. As long as you feel all right about the way this all came about and aren’t feeling betrayed or abandoned or ostracised in some way, I truly admire you.

By nature I am what people might call a shy extrovert. I don’t do very well one on one and I often don’t know what to say when left alone to talk to make small talk. It helps me a great deal to know exactly what is expected of me and what I need to do. So having some assigned role helps me know where I fit. That makes a big difference to me.

I learned that daily scripture study and prayer helped me the most when faced with months or years in the cold, so to speak.
Marie
December 13th, 2007 @ 5:36 pm

I love it. When I have had the same secret, I “keep it secret, keep it safe”. That secret doesn’t last long, but by golly, I do everything in my power to live it up while I can!! Because, now I am in the Primary and I think I am stuck for a few decades! Good Luck and you should harbor no guilty feelings. Know that your time will come again.
AzÃºcar
December 13th, 2007 @ 10:16 pm

Claudia, how interesting about that military wife. I don’t think it really mattered to me THAT much to have a calling. I equally enjoy the first couple months in a ward when you can worship a little anonymously.

It’s true that other people might be upset to find out that false information had them released, but it honestly didn’t bother me. I really thought it was funny. I’m an extrovert. I don’t really need a calling to make me fit, since I tend elbow my way in regardless of the situation. I’m quite tiring to other people.
AzÃºcar
December 13th, 2007 @ 10:19 pm

Heather–I know! I almost didn’t write this post for that very reason.

Rebrob–Don’t you dare!

pjb- You are my favorite right now. Go, tell it on the mountain.

Justine- Help me start a whisper campaign.
Susie
December 14th, 2007 @ 12:28 am

I say keep it under the radar for right now. You’re a busy working mom of two, the Lord’s probably giving you a well deserved break. I personally wouldn’t feel guilty. You’ve done your fair share of service. But if you’re dying to serve I’m sure they’ll find something for you very quickly. It would be nice to sit and enjoy Sunday school and RS. I don’t remember the last time I did that. The break probably won’t last long though, so enjoy it while it lasts.

It’s interesting. In my ward, if you hint you’re interested in a receiving a calling, they’ll give you 3! But mine is a unique ward, not a lot of active people.
maralise
December 14th, 2007 @ 3:11 am

I really dread receiving callings. Partly because I’ve had a few doosies in the past few years, partly because sitting in a bishop’s office always makes me feel like I’m eight years old.

Enjoy your break. Might as well!
Michelle
December 14th, 2007 @ 12:08 pm

Very funny- and We’ve been through this experience when my husband and I first married. The bishop knew we were “thinking” of moving well our “thinking” took a year and a half. I loved it at first and then after 6 months I was frustrated because I hadn’t really gotten to know anyone in the ward. We now serve in a inner city ward outside of Utah and have been used and abused- so when we move this next year and attend our first day at church my husband will be donning a full beard and I will be making controversial comments in Sunday school just to make sure we can have a little break.
Sue
December 16th, 2007 @ 1:14 am

I have a joke of a calling – once a month we put out a newsletter, and I am responsible for the Relief Society page. I LOVE it. Enjoy it while it lasts.
Lindsey
December 18th, 2007 @ 10:01 am

Oh, I am envious. I was on the Activities Committee for awhile until it killed me. Then I actually volunteered for nursery–that’s how bad the AC was getting. Not that I hate nursery–I mean, come on. Toys AND snacks??? I’m in heaven.

Enjoy it.
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