In Praise of Youth Leaders

Posted by Emily M. | July 23, 2008 | 22 Comments

My next-door neighbor has been sewing pioneer clothes madly to get ready for our stake’s Martin’s Cove trek. She and the other leaders in our stake have spent hours upon hours in planning meetings and firesides and, of course, sewing. All this, on top of hours for Girls Camp and presidency meetings and weekly activities and whatever extra help the Spirit indicates that the youth under your charge need. I have never served in Young Womens, and now, as an adult, I stand in awe of those who do.

Because as a young woman, let’s face it, I just didn’t get it. I felt completely entitled to the presence of my leaders at every class, every meeting, every Girls Camp. When one couldn’t make it for some reason, I felt a bit betrayed. I counted on them! Only now, as an adult, do I begin to realize the sacrifices they made to serve me. Time away from their families, messier houses, precious Sunday down time spent in list-making meetings. Even deeper: the sacrifice of setting aside any personal dislike they might have had for me, of changing those feelings to charity.

Not that I heard about sacrifices from them. I only heard from Sister Preston, my Young Women’s President, what a joy it was to be with us. She took me and my sister with her to the aerobics classes she taught at BYU. I only heard from Sister Miner, my next president, how much she appreciated the way I made the phone calls I was supposed to, and what a great leader I was. I only heard from Sister Olson how glad she was to see me there. I only heard from Sister Osguthorpe how wonderful it was when I sang, and how I should definitely learn all the words to all the hymns, and sightread the tenor part, because I was capable of it. If any of them struggled in their callings, or with me, I did not realize it.

And really, they must have struggled with me. I was arrogant, earnest, intense, awkward. But I felt only their love, their reflection of the Savior’s love for me.

I was reminded of this yesterday when I discovered the audio recording of a talk given by Sister Osguthorpe and her husband at the recent Women’s Conference, at mormonwoman.org. (You can read the PDF here.) I listened to it last night as I did the dishes. It is, quite simply, the best talk on marriage I’ve ever heard. But it meant much more to me. I listened to the talk and heard her voice again, teaching the lessons that have stayed with me for nearly twenty years. The time she made us memorize Joshua 1:9: “Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage. Be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed, for the Lord thy God is with thee withersoever thou goest.” Or the scripture she wrote on a pillowcase the ward sent to me as a missionary: “Look unto me in every thought. Doubt not, fear not.”

For Sister Osguthorpe, and for all the many other leaders who served me as a teenager, I am deeply grateful. They saw me not as I was, but as God saw me, as I could become. And I’m grateful for the youth leaders in our stake now, and the hours they have spent planning this activity for our youth. Do the youth realize now what went into making their trek experience possible? No, I don’t think so. They’re good kids, but I don’t think they will understand until they are a little older. But one day, they will look back in gratitude, and bless some wise leaders, and remember their love, the way I hear my teachers, all of them, echoing hymns and scriptures in my heart.

Category: Daily Special

Comments

22 Responses to “In Praise of Youth Leaders”

Lo
July 23rd, 2008 @ 12:10 pm

Very well said.

And ditto…
b.
July 23rd, 2008 @ 12:47 pm

Sister Osguthorpe served me well as a very young woman too!
She sings like an angel.
Heather H.
July 23rd, 2008 @ 1:43 pm

Amen! It is a crazy hard calling, so time consuming and takes so much energy and positive attitude. I remember how irritated I was one time when I was serving as the Laurel president and I had my wisdom teeth pulled and my advisor insisted that we still hold the presidency meeting, even though I felt like c***. Now I just realize, she probably just didn’t have one other second that she could squeeze it in. So I just needed to buck up! I have tried to repent now. I just plain had no idea. So I add my thanks!
Maralise
July 23rd, 2008 @ 3:02 pm

amen sister. My YW leaders are still my heroes. And the few times I’ve been in YW have left me awed at how much they did.

‘I just didn’t get it’ is RIGHT on.
Mommom
July 23rd, 2008 @ 3:24 pm

I may have had a little clue about how busy it was for the leaders – only because Mom at one point had one of those busy callings and Dad had a couple too. I really did appreciate them and the things they helped me accomplish.

Now I appreciate the my children’s leaders and what they help them accomplish.
Johnna
July 23rd, 2008 @ 4:04 pm

I know YW is the calling I don’t want. Not only can I not relate to teens, or want to revisit teenagehood in any way, shape, or form, it is the calling where work that goes on and on and cannot be contained. I’m a utilitarian, so it makes me uncomfortable, even when me or my children are the beneficiaries.

I don’t remember and wouldn’t have cared about the fancy decorations/favors/activities my YW leaders put on. From 15 on I only attended because it was prerequisite to getting out of the house on the weekend. But I do remember the time they put in talking to me. I have teen girls now who are talkers, and I do sometimes get exhausted listening to them. I do not have endless interest in their hobbies, and the teen ability to criticize a mother gets wearying. So I have a new appreciation for the women who, 25 years ago, listened to me blather about Tolkien and how “unfair” my mother was.
Merkat
July 23rd, 2008 @ 4:37 pm

I agree! I am not too far out of Young Women’s myself and was one of those punk girls. I find myself this week with a new calling as the Stake YW Counselor. My old YW leader found out and just about died laughing! It’s payback time for me!!
Jill
July 23rd, 2008 @ 5:32 pm

Amen to that! Looking back, I honestly don’t think I ever understood how much my YW leaders did. I knew they loved me and I adored them and somehow I never thought much past that. The flash forward 6 years later, and I’m called as YW Pres at 24 years old. All I wanted to do was run back home to St. Louis and go hug every single one of my old YW leaders!! I’ve been in my calling for 18 months now and I really do love my girls but man this is hard work. Johnna was right when she said it is a calling where the work just seems to go on and on. You finish one big project/event/activity and then another one comes the next week. I will forever respect and admire the women who served me while I was a young woman. They are some of my very favorite people.
Jill
July 23rd, 2008 @ 5:35 pm

In addition, I know how much I loved/admired/adored my YW leaders. It absolutely freaks me out that I’m supposed to be one of those people to my YW now. Does that make sense? It is overwhelming in some ways. Can you tell this has been on my mind lately?
Gratitude towards Church Youth Leaders « LDS Young Men
July 23rd, 2008 @ 5:40 pm

[...] towards Church Youth Leaders This is a great post over at Segulla blog. It is kind of syrupy for this rough and tumble blog, but the tribute to [...]
tonya
July 23rd, 2008 @ 7:11 pm

I never participated in Young Women’s as a teenager. My family never lived anywhere I could go. By the time my family moved to Salt Lake during my senior year, I thought it was just weird.

I know now what a terrific program it is, as I have seen it from the other side, as a leader. I have been in either Young Women’s or Primary for the last 14 years. I have learned to love girls that annoyed me. I have learned just how critical it is to get Young Women to want to participate. I have seen in my own daughters just how much it helps them to learn gospel principles. What a blessing that there are programs that bring adults and youth together. I think it is so important that young people see that adults can be organized, teach uplifting lessons, be serious – and still go out and camp or do fun activities too.

I think one the the MOST important things a leader can do is to listen and love without judging. And make sure to include everyone.

I can guarantee I’ve learned more myself from the lessons, and from serving in these callings than the kids have.
C.
July 23rd, 2008 @ 7:53 pm

It seems the best is not time spent “sewing pioneer clothes madly” but the time the leaders took talking, advising and encouraging. As is mentioned in many of the terrific comments.

And I know I’m off topic. But really! Stop trying to provide over the top, once in a lifetime, testimony extravaganzas. If we teach our youth that they can only feel the spirit when they are taken on outings that resemble theme park excesses, then they are going to fail when they get into the drudgery of real life.

I can’t thank Elder M. Russell Ballard enough for saying our church service should not have “needless frills and embellishments that occupy too much time, cost too much money, and sap too much energy.”

And specifically that, “may we focus on the simple ways we can serve in the kingdom of God, always striving to change lives, including our own. What is most important in our Church responsibilities is not the statistics that are reported or the meetings that are held but whether or not individual people—ministered to one at a time just as the Savior did—have been lifted and encouraged and ultimately changed. Our task is to help others find the peace and the joy that only the gospel can give them”
Emily M.
July 23rd, 2008 @ 11:16 pm

Thanks to everyone for your comments–I wish you current YW leaders well. I went to Girls Camp for testimony night several weeks ago, and I was so impressed by the powerful Spirit there.

Young Men blog–absolutely, the blog refers to Young Men leaders too!!

C., thank you for your comment. You bring up a good point. I agree that there are many “simple ways we can serve in the kingdom of God.” However, I think there’s a real benefit to the work that goes into Girls Camp, Scout Camp experiences, and this particular trek I reference here. The kids get away from all their electronic devices, all the noise, in a way that’s not possible with weeknight activities.

I think it’s important to plan things for the right reasons, as the Spirit directs. And sometimes, the Spirit directs something big. I’ve been impressed by the spirit in the meetings where this trek has been discussed. The pioneer stories are compelling, and bring the power and weight of sacrifice.

I think we should always look to simplify. But what activities like this do is create a simplicity, a silence and quiet, for the youth that’s not possible in their text messaging world. Sometimes simplicity is a lot of work…
Wendy
July 24th, 2008 @ 12:03 am

I love this! The way you describe your leaders and how they treated you, possibly in spite of you, reminded me of myself and how good our leaders were to me. What a blessing to have strong, devoted, accepting youth leaders!
tonya
July 24th, 2008 @ 2:31 am

“Sometimes simplicity is a lot of work” Amen to that. I have been the assistant girls camp director for the past two years and I HATE camping more than just about anything. But I LOVE what happens there. Away from boys, phones, ipods, parents and worldly expectations girls have a chance to blossom. In the mountains there is a peace that just surrounds you. Sure, it is alot of work, and expense – but the rewards are many.
Ann
July 24th, 2008 @ 10:44 am

This article was such a blessing to read for me.

I have served in the Young Women’s organization for most of the 18 years I have been married. Four times as a Young Women’s president and currently as a Laurel advisor. I can’t express to you how much I love the girls I have known in my time in Y.W. I have only been blessed with 2 children (both boys) but I feel like I have dozens of daughters! I have seen their marriages, birth of children (lots of children), divorces, college graduations and even a death.

The decorations, preparations (and sometimes even the events themselves) that are related to the Y.W. organization are never the joy I get from this calling. I just genuinely enjoy and love being with, talking to, crying with, and sharing my life with these girls! Any time I hear someone praise a Y.W. leader, I feel a little of the praise myself, (even if it doesn’t come from one of my ‘girls’) because I feel kinship with her leader who obviously loved her as much as I have loved mine!
Ahna
July 24th, 2008 @ 2:45 pm

I loved reading this post. Youth leaders deserve all the praise they can get. I’m a new stake YW president, and I stand in awe at all the good done by my wards’ YW presidents.

But I can’t help feeling sad about this sentence:

“My next-door neighbor has been sewing pioneer clothes madly to get ready for our stake’s Martin’s Cove trek.”

I just don’t understand why she’s doing that. Where are the youth in her ward? Have they been involved with any of the planning? Why aren’t they sewing their own clothes? Why are the clothes being sewn in the first place?

Our stake girls camp is nearly upon us, and the most difficult part of the preparation has been convincing the leaders to let the girls do at least some of the work. The YW want to be given jobs, especially the YCLs. But leaders are often unwilling to trust the YW to do things the way they’re “supposed” to be done.

I wish we could let go of what’s “supposed” to be and focus instead on listening to the girls.
Ahna
July 24th, 2008 @ 5:16 pm

Hey, I don’t know the neighbor in this post, obviously, and I don’t want to come off terribly judgmental of her personally. My comment reflects my experience in my current stake.
Johnna
July 24th, 2008 @ 5:50 pm

I would support a pioneer trek for the YW with reluctance. It just doesn’t seem relevant.

However, visiting my friends in Wyoming, the teens there were sewing their own skirts. One even sewed her skirt out of Minnie Mouse fabric. Now, that I could relate to and support.
Emily M.
July 24th, 2008 @ 6:35 pm

Ahna, I should have made it clear that my neighbor was working on her own pioneer clothes yesterday. I think she also helped her daughter with her daughter’s clothes. She wasn’t outfitting the entire ward–each girl was supposed to be responsible for sewing her own clothes. I don’t know how many moms in my ward took over, but the original plan was indeed for them to make their own skirts, along with assistance from the leaders. To me, this is both better for the girls and harder for the leaders: if you’re good at sewing, it’s easier to whip out a skirt yourself than it is to teach a reluctant sewer.
Ahna
July 26th, 2008 @ 12:28 am

Emily, thanks for the clarification. After my first comment, I thought some more and figured something like that must be the case.

And you are so right that it’s much harder for leaders to teach the girls sewing (or just about anything) than to just do it themselves. Often, though, when leaders think of their callings from a teaching/guiding perspective, wonderful things happen. And I think that, overall, it turns out to be easier. And, of course, better for the girls.

Anyway, I’m sorry to have gone a bit astray from your original post. Every youth leader deserves twice as much praise as we can give.
Barbara
August 11th, 2008 @ 7:40 pm

My first response was to thank God that when I served in the Young Women’s, I did not have to make a pioneer skirt. I love teaching young people. I loved my own youth leaders. And I even like to sew. But I resist the big Hollywood-type productions that seem especially prevalent where I live. I agree though that sometimes it takes effort to guide young people away from the noise of the world and towards meaningful, quiet, spiritual experiences. I recall one young women’s president who took us (when I was a teen) camping and very matter-of-factly (apparently not a word) talked to us about sex in a way my own mother did not. In a recent Ensign some article quoted President Hinckley on parenting, He said we should be “companionable” with our children. The best youth leaders are companionable with teens who are often less than companionable with their parents and siblings. The same young women’s leader helped us make dip and drape dolls and, more importantly, have fun while we were doing it. Good post.