In the Season of Giving: A Trait to Cherish

Posted by Jenny Whitcomb | December 23, 2009 | 11 Comments

My mom, Priscilla, was a highly sought-after commodity in the prime of her single years. It was 1959. She had a nice Italian boyfriend who wanted to marry her. Her father strongly disapproved. Her high school sweetheart was an enlisted man, with no college education. He would ask for her hand regularly; every leave provided an opportunity to get down on one knee. Her Aunt was convinced that a man in the navy wasn’t good enough for a Simmons girl, and wrote my mother letters offering bribe money so that she would not marry beneath herself. There was a third suitor, engaged to be married to someone else, who showed up on her doorstep about this time, and begged her to marry him; he’d gladly leave his fiancée if she would but consent.

I know there were more. Priscilla’s mother passed away during her senior year in High School. It was a stressful time in her young life. So stressful, in fact, that she cut bait and reeled it in. She changed her name to Kim and moved to Connecticut to waitress for a summer.

I love this story. I idolize my mom’s adventurous spirit. I admire her wisdom, knowing to step outside the box in order to look back in and examine her options. Mostly, though, I love the enthusiasm with which she tells her story. It was not so easy to be Kim, as it turns out. Although it afforded an opportunity to escape the pressures of her reality, she encountered a new set of challenges, and her eyes were opened to the trials of others, most with no option for escape. She thought about the things she valued most and recognized her virtue as the one thing that made her so attractive to so many. When she tells me that she knows the reason so many men were increasingly persistent: because she valued her chastity, it’s almost as if she’s realized it again for the first time.

“We believe in being honest, true, chaste, benevolent, virtuous…” (Articles of Faith 1:13)

Kim left a small wake of disappointed men in Connecticut to become Priscilla again, and eventually married my dad, the persistent Navy recruit. There is so much more to their fascinating story; perhaps a post for another day.

While my parents served a mission together in Tampa, Priscilla often talked with her missionaries about the Lamanites in Alma 3:6 who became unrighteous, resulting in the Lord marking them with darker skin. A group of Amlicites wishing to join the Lamanites chose to distinguish themselves by putting a red mark on their foreheads. She talked about how we too mark ourselves either for unrighteousness such as the Amlicites, or for righteousness as the Lamanites chose to do later. She was quick to point out that all of our behavior is observed and judged by many.

The young Priscilla marked herself with virtue. When she became Kim, she recognized the great value of this marking, and talks about it still, with great amazement and reverence. H. David Burton gave a great talk on virtue in last month’s General Conference. He said “We need only look around us to see what is taking place in our communities to realize that personal traits of virtue are in a steep decline.”

I want to look like Priscilla and confidently wear the markings of virtue like Kim. I want to buck the trend of personal virtue in decline. I won’t be able to claim the same adventures as Priscilla, but I have three daughters who have yet to trudge through their dating years. I know a good story when I hear one, and I’m saving this treasure for just the right moment.

What do you think about having a mark upon us? What virtues do you consider to be great gifts? Do you have a story you cherish? It’s the season of giving, would you like to share it?

Comments

11 Responses to “In the Season of Giving: A Trait to Cherish”

Jennie
December 23rd, 2009 @ 8:17 am

Really great thoughts! ( I will now be embroidering big red V’s on everything. Just kidding.) I think I’ll try to turn this into a FHE lesson. Good job!
Shirley
December 23rd, 2009 @ 8:37 am

And what a cute sailor her suitor was/is! I love the story, and I didn’t know about the move to Connecticut. It must have been very difficult for your Mom to not have her Mom around in her late teen years. Losing mine when I was 40 was hard enough and still is today. As a matter of fact, today is my mother’s birthday–two days before Christmas–a very special time of year, and she was a special Mom, too. Looking forward to more stories about Priscilla. She is a wonderful Mom and Mimi as well. She certainly puts a lot into her life and makes me tired sometimes with her continuous energy.
Rose
December 23rd, 2009 @ 9:49 am

What an intriguing story. Life is so hard, its nice to hear a story of choices being made and promises, such as virtuousness, being kept. Thanks for sharing
jendoop
December 23rd, 2009 @ 11:29 am

Thanks for sharing these sweet family memories. They tie in so well to the new YW value of virtue!
Jill Shelley
December 23rd, 2009 @ 2:35 pm

I’ve never heard an example of virtue told quite like this. I am going to somehow save this story. I may use it in YWs someday, or with my granddaughters when they are older. Thank you!
amy jo
December 23rd, 2009 @ 5:42 pm

Loved it all, even though I knew it some, but not understood as well as you. Thanks!
Johnna
December 23rd, 2009 @ 10:33 pm

I do think virtuous living shows in a countenance, and certainly is part of Priscilla’s appeal. But I don’t think the Lord ever marked anyone with dark skin for sin. Alma 3:6 is just Nephite racism talking.
rvs
December 23rd, 2009 @ 10:33 pm

That is a great story. And to threadjack briefly: Is the Simmons you refer to Simmons as in Simmons College, Boston, MA?
m&m
December 24th, 2009 @ 12:19 am

I have been thinking a lot lately about the power that virtue is in our lives. I appreciated this post. Thank you.
Terresa Wellborn
December 24th, 2009 @ 2:06 am

Virtue is something I’m teaching my 4 young children who watch and listen and record in their brains right and wrong and all the shades of gray in between.

I teach them in what I wear, what I say, and how I say it. And in sharing with them my life lessons of chastity, abstinence until marriage, and that yes, it is most definitely possible.

Having the mark upon us means to truly have a change of heart, to do good continually. I’m not there yet, but each day strive to take a step towards good.
Cheri
December 26th, 2009 @ 7:30 pm

Johnna, I saw an interesting video lecture suggesting that the Old Testament uses white and black skin metaphorically. Job is the only example I can remember–apparently during his rough times it says his skin is black. They gave enough other examples to make a decent case for concept being a well-known idiom, and then turned to the Book of Mormon to show how each of its skin change passages could be examples of a similar idiom.