It’s Coming…

Posted by Sunny Smart | May 11, 2011 | 21 Comments

Friends, the Summer Break is almost upon us. Swimming pools, lazy mornings, popsicles, anytime cuddles, late breakfasts, and warm nights are just around the corner. And like an evil twin follows messy bedrooms, bored kids, days upon unscheduled days, and endless bickering. I am caught somewhere between counting down the minutes until we are free to do as we please and dreading the unceasing hours of nothingness which I, the mother/summer camp leader, am expected to magically fill. We need order, routine, and plans and we need them fast!

Last summer I gave my kids a list of responsibilities that had to be completed each morning. Along with simple household chores, everyone had to be fed, dressed, hair combed, and teeth brushed by 10:00a.m. Easy enough. The TV (or DS, computer, etc.) couldn’t go on before 10:00 even if everyone had their jobs done, and it went off at lunchtime. It worked well for us as a way to keep the house relatively clean, cut down on bickering since my kids tend to fight less the less they lay around doing nothing, and get us ready to leave the house if in fact there was an activity planned that day. It worked great… until school started. My plan to follow through with daily chores has ebbed and flowed, but mostly ebbed. I’ve been terribly inconsistent in my expectations and follow through and it shows in the messy spaces under the beds, finger prints on the windows, and kids who respond as though they’ve been sentenced to a labor camp every time they are asked to do something.

Beyond an organized house, we need an organized schedule of fun. I had grand plans last year of holding a cooking class with my kids once a week. You know, just the basics. Scrambled eggs, easy dinners, homemade bread, cookies, etc. I think we lasted one time. Four kids vying for a turn to measure and dump with one mom playing referee whilst trying to keep egg shells out of and ingredients in the bowl didn’t yield the Ensign/Disney Family Fun quality experience I had imagined it would. Having learned nothing, I am determined to try again this year.

And that’s it. That’s all I’ve got. Three more weeks until my kids’ endless appetite for entertainment and tireless ability to complain about work are unleashed on the ashes of the quiet alone time I have known and cherished for the last nine months.

Help a sister out!

What are your plans to avoid chaos and boredom this summer? Do you have a magical system for chores? Do you have consistent plans each week? Let the kids run wild? When you hear “Summer Break” do you shiver with excitement or shudder with fear? Both? Tell me your secrets for sanity, harmony, survival, and making memories you actually want to cherish.

Comments

21 Responses to “It’s Coming…”

Selwyn aka Kellie
May 11th, 2011 @ 3:47 am

Australian summer holidays are only for 6 weeks, and include the madness of Christmas and New Years, which kind of gives a heap of activities just with scheduling!

That being said, my saving word is LIBRARY. I introduce the boyos to the non-fiction section each visit, and show them a couple of areas (space, inventions, war, food, dogs) and let them choose. Then there are the cds, and kids books, and magazines too.

We have a “quiet time” after lunch for about an hour without electronics and they read or do… whatever. It saves my sanity! Good luck!
Tiffany W.
May 11th, 2011 @ 6:21 am

Handsfullmom has a ton of great ideas this year with her family of 8 children. You might want to check out her blog.

http://www.handsfullmom.blogspot.com
Jannet
May 11th, 2011 @ 6:46 am

I love summer vacation! I have been counting down the days until my kids are mine again. However, I also have a party on the first day of school after a summer of craziness.
My kids plus the niece and nephew we took in total 6 kids ages 3 months to 9 years. We all stay sane with a constant routine- up and fed and dressed by 9, lunch follwed by a nap/rest time for an hour, and a consistent bedtime based on their age. They have a chore chart they follow and spend a half hour in the morning and at night working then we don’t worry about chores the rest of the day. All the time between is camp mom.
I let my school aged kids chose one interest-based day camp to go to for a week each summer-drama camp for the 9 yr old, soccer for the 6 yr old, and swim lessons for everyone.
The rest of the weeks are what we call “Camp Wannalaffalotta.” We pick a theme each week to learn about and build it into our routine. Each week we make a visit to the library for story time or summer reading club and I grab some books about our theme. Then we add in a related feild trip, cooking lesson, craft project, etc. One summer we took a trip around the world and “visited” a different country each week. Last year we tried a liberal arts approach with a week for each art, music, ancient history, pioneers, bugs, etc. Sometimes we work with other families or neighbor kids, sometimes its just us. I give myself a $20 a week to spend on entertainment ands supplies and see what I can come up with. We just moved to a new area drenched in history, so we might just do history this summer and do lots of day trips, but I am not sure.
I spend about a week looking in the newspaper or online for local festivals or free events, free movies and bowling passes, farms or facotries that do free tours, free museum days, people we know who have cool jobs or pets or hobbies that would let us visit, make a list of the “must-dos” for each person, and go from there.
Every week we also work in a visit to help in grandpa’s garden, swimming in my sister’s pool while we do piano lessons, free bowling or movies, etc. We also do lots of day trips or mini vacations based on my husbands work schedule that have nothing to do with our theme but are just fun.
Sometimes it works. Other times I throw in the towel and we stay home all day in pjs watching movies because someone is sick or sunburned or just doesn’t want to go out. Sometimes we spend a week on a theme, other times we do it for a day then the rest of the week falls apart, or other times we get so interested in something we keep going with it the next week.
I try to trade babysitting with another stay at home mom to get some alone time to do the shopping or other appointments I usualy do when the kids are at school.
I over plan, but figure its better than waking up the first of August and trying to cram in a summer’s worth of plans before school starts the next week.
And my best coping technique for the down times- when my kids say “I’m bored” I give them extra chores or make them take a nap. After the first time, they always manage to find something else to do.
Dianne S. Smith
May 11th, 2011 @ 7:33 am

With ten children – in 16 years – we HAD to have some order to our wonderful summers. One of the best things I did was give the older kids an amount of money for snacks at 10 and 3 and lunch. they would plan the menu, do the shopping and do the policing – You can’t eat that it is for snack! Then we planned on an adventure each week when the chores were finished – just a walk would be fine, we did ‘lessons’ in the morning, cooking, crafts, ONE hour quiet time after lunch was essential. Library day each week was great – I would keep an account of the books they read and give them money for new school clothes at the end of summer..more money for the classics, i.e. Tom Sawyer, Black Beauty, etc. Make a wall schedule of the weeks of summer – they DO go by very fast! Have Fun – weed an hour in the garden very early in the cool mornings! Enjoy each other – they will be all grown up in no time.
Charity Jeffs
May 11th, 2011 @ 8:06 am

Last summer I had each of my 5 kids (even the 5 year old) pick a day for lunch. They chose the lunch, made the lunch, and cleaned up the lunch. It accomplished several things. First, I HATE trying to figure out what to feed everyone for lunch in the summer. Second, it provided a chance to cook a little. Even a 5 year old can learn the finer art of grilled cheese. And, it was one on one cooking time with me. Yes, I helped with the younger ones. My older two were completely independent, and that was a total break for me. They each looked forward to their day, and they learned some new skills. I’ll do it again this year.

Also, once they’re old enough (and I think 10 is old enough), they each have their own laundry day in the summer. They wash, fold and put away all of their own laundry. I don’t keep it up during the school year- it’s just too hard for them to do with their school schedules. But they can definitely get it done on a summer day, and it gives them a chance to learn how to do laundry.

I love the change of pace when summer rolls around!!
handsfullmom
May 11th, 2011 @ 8:56 am

As Tiffany mentioned, I did just post some of what our summer plans are on my blog here: http://handsfullmom.blogspot.com/2011/05/progress.html

I like to have a routine to follow. I’m determined my kids will work harder than usual this summer because I’m tired of them complaining about tiny jobs like taking out the garbage or cleaning out a dishwasher. I’m going to work them hard this summer so they know what real work is! My oldest is a great cook and my second knows the basics of how to cook, so I’m even rotating the lunch and dinner making among us all. We’ve got woods behind our house with tons of sticks to be cleared, and we’re tackling that every Monday morning for a few hours. The kids’ jobs are all outlined on three rotating schedules, with three spots for them to check: one if the job is done, one if it’s done without reminders, and the third if it’s done without complaints. We’re dividing into three different teams each month so no one will be working alone.

But we’re balancing it with lots of fun too. Two afternoons a week, my husband will work from home so I can take the oldest six swimming while the youngest two take naps (hooray for husbands with some flexibility!). Another afternoon will be our “adventure day” with a different activity every week. I had the kids give me a list of the top three things they wanted to do this summer and I made sure and put them in on that afternoon. We’re buying passes to the dollar theater summer movies and we’re headed to the library another morning. I’m also looking forward to the Daddy trip(s) my husband is planning, where he takes all but two of the kids on a long road trip while I get to relax and work on other projects.

Summer is awesome!
Malinda
May 11th, 2011 @ 9:23 am

I loved this post and the comments. My best summer sanity saver is that we don’t have any friends over until after lunch. We live in a neighborhood with a TON of kids and if I didn’t make the rule we would have neighbor kids at our house 24-7.

We do a cousin play date once a week with my sisters and their kids and usually go to the ward/neighborhood playgroup once a week. I love having a couple of built in activities to break up the lazy days. This summer I am planning on weekly cooking classes too. We’ll see how that goes. I like the idea of letting each kid pick a day to make lunch. Maybe I will go that route instead of trying to have all four of them learn how to cook something all at once.
EMILY
May 11th, 2011 @ 9:44 am

Sounds like most posters agree–structure is essential! Aside from those ideas mentioned, I’ve let my kids (I have only 3 at the moment, 7, 5, and 3) choose 4 subjects (and 2 possible additions in case it goes well) and we are going to have some weekly activity/learning sessions built around those themes. We have plans to invite different friends each time. For instance, they’ve chosen bugs and butterflies, space, pirates, castles and alternates of the ocean and dinosaurs. (They are all girls.) So I plan on finding cooking, games, art projects, and books all around this theme and making an afternoon of it. We may even take some day trips that seque with these topics. I am trying to be structured but not overly ambitious as I am every year. I also want to involve the girls and have their input.
Sunny Smart
May 11th, 2011 @ 10:00 am

Lots of great ideas, ladies! Reading your replies I am reminded that last summer I did plan to do certain activities once each week such as library, swimming, scheduled play dates, etc. I think it just seemed like once something bumped us off course we never really got back on. We lost some momentum about halfway through the summer (probably after vacation) and never got it back.

You are all helping me remember how important it is for our little crew to have definite and consistent plans to look forward to. I’m also loving the idea of having the kids take turns being in charge of lunch or dinner. I think I’m with Malinda here that working side by side with one kiddo at a time will be a lot smoother than five sets of hands over one mixing bowl! I’m going to involve my kids more in meal planning and let them choose the things they’d like to learn to make.

Thanks for all these great ideas! Let’s keep ‘em coming!
Sunny Smart
May 11th, 2011 @ 10:03 am

Oh, and several of you have mentioned quiet time. That is most definitely going into our lineup this year!
Paula
May 11th, 2011 @ 10:23 am

Oh how I am dreading this summer! My oldest son is about to graduate from high school so this summer will be different that those of the past. I’m trying to encourage him to find a job. He’s never had time to really find one before so it’s new to him. He wants to attend camp Helaman and then there is his orientation and registration for college. I hope that he can find a job and enjoy his last real summer at home. Next summer he will hopefully have his mission call so it will again be a different summer for us.

That said my daughter is about to embark on her high school experience. She is involved in marching band so 3 weeks of our summer is involved with her doing that. Plus a few extra rehearsals so she can do her best. She is very excited to go to girls camp too. Thankfully she doesn’t turn 14 until the end of summer so no youth conference for her this year.

Son #2 will be involved with our town track team and swimming lessons. Then daughter #2 is only 2 so she will just go along with the flow.

As for our daily routine, I have a rule that there will be no tv or computer time until chores are done, beds made, etc. Then tv and computer time is limited to 1 hour each. I also schedule quiet reading time while my 2 year old has her nap. It really makes my day go much easier.

We go to the library weekly and have picnics at local parks. I like to take a weekend or two and play tourist at some local attractions. Other than that I have no idea when we will take a vacation this summer. To find a time when we don’t have something going on is nearly impossible. Hubby may take a day or two off here and there but other than that we are pretty much tied to home because of our busy schedule.

I can’t wait for school to start again so I can relax! Just kidding. I miss my kids terribly while they are at school and find myself praying for them often. I know the challenges they face aren’t easy, especially my teens. For them, they need a break away from the worldliness of school.

I like the idea of cooking school or cooking lunch once a week. My two oldest kids could probably do much of it with very little help from me.
Heidi
May 11th, 2011 @ 11:30 am

I have been dreading summer since Christmas, when I realized I would be in my last trimester of pregnancy during summer “vacation.” Because of my difficult pregnancy issues, we don’t have a fun summer trip to look forward to this year. I appreciate your ideas since, like it or not, I have 12 school days left until I need to put on my Fun Mom hat for three months. Thank you!
Barb
May 11th, 2011 @ 11:43 am

I don’t think I was bored much in my youth except when I went with my dad painting and sat around a lot when he didn’t need me to do anything. Of course, my memory may be fuzzy. I do know that I kept busy riding my bike, playing board games with siblings, shooting hoops, practicing Softball, a little reading, and playing with family and friends. It is nice to organize activities for children. Sometimes it is important to let them be bored so they can find something to do on their own. They may also spend a little time daydreaming, which is very important too.
http://www.post-gazette.com/lifestyle/20021003childsplay3.asp
Grandma Honey
May 11th, 2011 @ 12:18 pm

With all my sons grown and gone, I look back on summers and realize I never did get it right. It’s sort of like Christmas in that every year I would have these big plans of survival, and every year I barely did.

Not to say we didn’t have lots of fun along the way!

I say try again with the teaching them to cook idea. Maybe just let one at a time help you with a designated day. Also, work them hard. They really need that in order to APPRECIATE their free play time.
Brittney C.
May 11th, 2011 @ 12:41 pm

don’t know that my thoughts count for much. i’m the total antithesis of a tiger mother, so not a lot of cred, but i do love me some summer time. getting outside saves us. granted, we live in a place with glorious summer weather–no humidity or nasty flies that bite, average temp. low 80s, and sun–so outside is easy. we buy a family pass to the local pool/water park (in a town of 10,000, we’re not talking Raging Waters, but a summertime essential nonetheless) and ride our bikes on down there. Frankie has promised to drag the new baby into the pool as soon as she’s born. Babies gotta learn how to swim, right?
We do dinner in the yard a lot. Seems to thin out the cabin fever. For me, summer means waking up with the sun (which is kinda early this far north) for a few hours of time to myself. These are my favorite hours of the day. Not that I don’t love my kids, but the panda mother in some of us is a creature who needs a little solitude now and then. Here’s to sunshine and hotdogs and finding a schedule that works!
Paula
May 11th, 2011 @ 1:55 pm

Heidi, I did summer and pregnant 4 times, bed rest, some nasty tests, the works. I feel your pain! Plan for a lot of play dates with friends. I had several sisters in my ward take sympathy on me and would have our children go places with them. I hope you can find some wonderful sisters to help you out. A crying episode in RS seemed to help a lot (it was hormonal, I promise). That really got their attention.
Jewel
May 11th, 2011 @ 3:57 pm

Jannet,
YOU ARE AWESOME!!!
I was starting to get overwhelmed reading your plans- and felt better toward the end when you said that it doesn’t always happen exactly on schedule.
You did, however, motivate me to get out a piece of paper and start planning.
Last summer I became an official 4-H leader and made the fair the summer’s finale. This year I think I will delve further into the cub scout manual when we need activity ideas (arrow points).
Like many of you I am definately starting a lunch cooking rotation schedule.
I based my chore chart on the Eyer’s. I think the book is called Responsible Parenting or something similar. I got many additional summer chore ideas from reading “Parenting Breakthrough” by Merilee Boyak.

I think asking my kids what they would like will be one of the first things I do.
jks
May 13th, 2011 @ 8:47 am

It is always hard for me to read these. Summer is sooooo far away for our school district. June 24th or something like that.
Our summer vacation is 2 1/2 months and it goes by very quickly.
I am starting to look forward to it. We’ve got some travel plans. No swim team this year, so our days will be freer. Hoping to do some field trip types of things. Haven’t been doing those the past few years. We’ll see. Just bought a membership to science center.
Karen
May 13th, 2011 @ 10:19 am

Who says summer school has to be a drag??? Every year we pick a topic that we can learn more about in our area, and we schedule our summer to include activities and projects that help us learn about our chosen topic. I blogged about it last year because a bunch of my friends were interested in doing the same thing and wanted details… here’s the post I wrote in case you’re interested as well:

http://jerandkare.blogspot.com/2010/06/hello-summer.html

As far as balancing work and fun goes, each morning my kids have chores they have to do, but for motivation I also try to designate each weekday with an activity of some sort: ie, Monday is Library Day, Tuesday is Free Movie Day (check to see if your local theater does this), Wednesday is Have-a-Special-Friend-Over Day (not neighbors that we see every day), Thursday is Field Trip Day (usually summer school-related), and Friday is Pool Day! If the kids get their chores done and keep the fighting/complaining to a minimum, we get to do these activities in the afternoons. It’s worked well so far!
Ana of the Nine Kids
May 14th, 2011 @ 12:20 pm

I enjoy summer a lot. It seems that when the kids are home we are more in “sync” than when they are gone all day. One thing that bugs me about summer is tattling though so I made a rule that if the tattle does not involve blood or something dangerous or seriously destructive to property then the tattler has to partake of the punishment. It works GREAT! I just tell my kids that I will find out the naughtiness of their siblings on my own, thank you very much! I do NOT want to hear if they haven’t made their bed or if they are picking their nose or whatever from someone else. Once we get that settled, the summer seems to go alright.

My kids get more chores during the summer–their regular stuff plus an additional daily deep cleaning job. And they have to do an hour or so of yard work sometime every week (not counting weeding the garden). To motivate them to do more we up the amount we pay them when they go over and above their assigned stuff. It seems to work since the lawn gets mowed and the borders get weeded. We also use the Summer Skills workbooks (I take the notebooks apart and put them in sheet protectors so I can reuse them) as well as the “What your child needs to know” series for study time. The notebooks are good for math and English work and the WYCNTK books are good b/c they expose them to history, art, literature, etc. without doing any actual writing–which the notebooks covers. It’s not too strenuous but not to wimpy either. I mark where I want them to read to in the books for each day so there are about 30 days of this–which is about three or so days a week–and I always have them do the grade they just passed off. It’s just to keep them sharp, not necessarily advance them. I also do not like the idea of an entire summer off from piano but neither do I really want to push hard on this throughout the summer so I go through their books and mark what I want them to review so they have to play four times a week (or so) on songs they’ve already passed off. We’re not advancing but neither are we stagnating. I also assign each kid a day of the week to do the dinner meal (if there are two youngies I stick them together.) I LOVE this! I usually let them choose what they make (within reason) so they don’t complain too much.

We live on five acres with not many neighbors so we set up our tent trailer in the yard and basically let them sleep in it all summer long if they want–they can use the little bathroom in the back of the house but they have to stay out there–no popping in and out of the house after bedtime but I tend to ignore their 10:00 raids of the garden for beans and peas. We also try to go to the library once a week. Our summer library program used to be good but now it stinks so my kids didn’t read as much as I would have liked last summer. I plan to use some of the ideas others have listed here to remedy that. We also do a “quiet” time every day. I LOVE that! We never do much “screen” time anyway but I do cut them a little more slack in the summer but not much. I prefer them to be running around and playing rather than sitting parked in front of a computer/video/TV screen. So that’s it. Thanks for all the ideas on here!
Lisa
May 19th, 2011 @ 1:35 am

I found a great list to help you organize what kinds of things to focus on with all that summer free time. We’re having a summer planning FHE next week and filling it out with things we all want to do. I like having the things listed, then it’s easier to work them in when we have free time.

You can find it here…
http://www.encouragingcoach.com/docs/summer2011.pdf