Meta physics

Posted by | May 3, 2010 | 23 Comments

I’m going to make this short:

Don’t give yourself a hard time about having a hard time when you’re having a hard time.

All of us have hard times. And hard times are hard for at least two reasons: the hard thing that’s happening is hard in and of itself, plus it’s also hard to realize that that hard things happen to you just like they happen to everyone else.  But strangely enough, many of us get very disappointed in ourselves when we have a hard time with our hard time. And so we make things even harder by telling ourselves it shouldn’t be so hard.

Hard things are hard enough already. We hardly need to make them harder. So please, don’t.

(And if you just can’t help it, then at least don’t give yourself a hard time about giving yourself a hard time when you’re having a hard time. Enough is enough.)

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Comments

23 Responses to “Meta physics”

  1. RCH
    May 3rd, 2010 @ 10:50 am

    Genius. Thank you. :-*

  2. Jennifer B.
    May 3rd, 2010 @ 10:57 am

    Amen.

  3. traci
    May 3rd, 2010 @ 11:30 am

    Well! when you put it that way – it doesn’t sound hard at all!

  4. Rebecca
    May 3rd, 2010 @ 11:41 am

    I have had a hard week, and just finished writing a post about it…thanks for giving me permission to have a hard time! I think I will go have a good cry now :)

  5. Lindsay
    May 3rd, 2010 @ 11:43 am

    And don’t think disparaging thoughts about others who are going through hard times. Even when it seems like they have at least 20 hard times every month. Just be there and hope that someone will be understanding when you’re hard-timing yourself over hard times.

    (Lecture to self over now)

  6. Angela T.
    May 3rd, 2010 @ 12:01 pm

    Where’s the “Like” button?
    :)
    Consider this post LIKED.

  7. Melissa M.
    May 3rd, 2010 @ 12:08 pm

    Love this, Kathy. I should stick this on my bathroom mirror. -)

  8. Johnna
    May 3rd, 2010 @ 12:20 pm

    I’m reading it aloud in my best Eliza Doolittle voice…three times fast. hay ‘ard time ’bout ‘aving hay ‘ard time when you’re ‘aving hay ‘ard time.

    good stuff.

  9. Michelle Glauser
    May 3rd, 2010 @ 12:43 pm

    I think we just need a ditto button here. Ditto.

  10. Selwyn aka Kellie
    May 3rd, 2010 @ 1:18 pm

    I’d like a “To remember” button, to go with the like and ditto!

  11. Pam
    May 3rd, 2010 @ 1:50 pm

    I just love this! And I just love you for posting this! I wish I could give you a hug… :) Consider yourself virtually hugged!

  12. Dovie
    May 3rd, 2010 @ 2:15 pm

    Ouch my brain hurts, but I will not give myself a hard time about this. Complicated but true.

  13. Lori
    May 3rd, 2010 @ 2:49 pm

    Gosh, this solves a lot of things–thanks!

  14. Kerri
    May 3rd, 2010 @ 4:19 pm

    Love it. But I don’t know how to apply it.

  15. Paradox
    May 3rd, 2010 @ 4:31 pm

    Absolutely love it, and you’re absolutely right :)

  16. Trudie
    May 3rd, 2010 @ 5:18 pm

    This is spot on. I learned a while back that I added to my emotional discomfort by judging my reaction to my discomfort! My husband just lets himself feel bad. No acting out, but no running away from it or feeling guilty about it. Thanks for sharing.

  17. mormonhermitmom
    May 3rd, 2010 @ 6:39 pm

    Ha! Excellent.

  18. SteveP
    May 3rd, 2010 @ 7:59 pm

    I’m reflecting on my reflections about this reflection. I am pleased to say I find them pleasantly pleasing.

  19. Bek
    May 3rd, 2010 @ 9:25 pm

    Also, each of us can have hard times that are different. You feeling frustrated about something isn’t invalidated by someone else having something harder. struggle is valid– big or small.

    Great stuff to remember.

  20. MelissaPete
    May 4th, 2010 @ 10:54 am

    My favorite are the profound statements that are poignant, but short enough to repeat in our brains throughout the day. Nicely written. :D

  21. ~j.
    May 4th, 2010 @ 11:54 am

    Thank you, Kathy.

  22. Sue
    May 4th, 2010 @ 2:21 pm

    Good one. And I am definitely on board.

    =)

  23. Kathleen Dalton-Woodbury
    May 4th, 2010 @ 4:59 pm

    Amen!

    What’s the point of feeling guilty for having a hard time and knowing it’s a hard time? That just makes the hard time harder.

    In other words, what you said, Kathryn.

    Thanks for saying it–it can’t be said too many times.



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