Comments on: My Body, Ourself

By: Kathryn Soper

Kathryn Soper — Tue, 26 Jan 2010 14:22:15 +0000

I would like to believe that our bodies, our persons, become one, united with each other and with the Lord as we go from being a “me” to an “us.”

Yes, and no. Marriage is a paradox of unity and individuality. We are two-in-one. Unity in marriage is extremely important, but the “two” part is still very real, valid, and necessary for spiritual and emotional health.

By: Jill M.

Jill M. — Mon, 25 Jan 2010 19:59:04 +0000

Two stories:
I have a close friend. She has always been beautiful, trim and curvey. Her husband has struggled with pornograghy. They have always been a little spendy and materialistic. When she got implants, I was heartbroken for her and angry at him. I felt he should have done more to let her know that she was perfect, just the way she was. I don’t think she would have done it had he expressed an honest and sincere love and acceptance of her body.
I have another friend. Again, beautiful and petite. After having children she was so disgustedwith her own breasts that she would shower in the dark and never let her husband see her without a bra on. He is very kind and supportive. They live well under their means. When she got some work done, I felt sorry that it was so hard for her to accept her body, but happy that she could move around the problem, despite her ability to work through it. Had her husband protested at length, I think she would have viewed him as being controlling, resulting in further difficulties with intimacy.
Now, what I think really doesn’t matter, but every situation is so different. I guess, I think a loving and
supportive spouse would always encourage their partner toward that wich will be the “best” solution since the ideal is not always workable.

By: hennchix

hennchix — Mon, 25 Jan 2010 18:09:10 +0000

Love the post, and Queen Scarlett, that is a great quote to keep in mind. “You are more important than me, but we are more important than you”.

By: Natalie

Natalie — Mon, 25 Jan 2010 17:03:03 +0000

Oh Spiedi. They are truly messed up.

But perhaps on the lines of your post — I recently dyed my hair dark red. It is foxy. My husband didn’t get a say in it. And it drives me crazy when people’s first question is “what does your husband think?” — why does it matter what he thinks? But in marriage we are intrinsicly tied together.

By: Em

Em — Mon, 25 Jan 2010 16:28:41 +0000

Fabulous post Frances. Speaking from someone who has always had body issues, I agree that in some respect what we do with our bodies is just as much our husband’s call as it is ours. We are a team. I loved the line…”if our bodies were good enough for [Heavenly Father], we can probably learn to believe they are good enough for us, too.”

In the case of Spencer and Heidi – I am absolutely certain that the plastic surgeries didn’t have anything to do with impressing her husband, but had EVERYTHING to do with impressing the world. A good lesson in living “in the world and not of the world.”

By: Selwyn

Selwyn — Sun, 24 Jan 2010 21:34:16 +0000

I don’t think the show is here on the usual TV networks, though really that sort of relationship and behaviour I believe is worldwide.

Unfortunately, I don’t know what the answer is for them, if there is one. But I wholeheartedly agree with you Frances that I hope they work it out together.

Beautiful post. Seriously.

By: traci

traci — Sun, 24 Jan 2010 14:02:16 +0000

We don’t have TV so I don’t know who you are talking about, but…..

I do find it sad – I am fortunate that my husband and I talk all things out and try to come to a conclusion together. Such a blessing!

By: QueenScarlett

QueenScarlett — Sun, 24 Jan 2010 09:45:15 +0000

I’m already not a fan of celebrities..unless said celebrity is Colin Firth who wants to be my Mr. Darcy… so I totally loathe faux celebrities.

When we were deciding which temple to be married in… San Diego, Bountiful or Oakland… my soon-to-be hubby said this, “You are more important than me, but we are more important than you.” He wanted San Diego – I wanted Bountiful. But… it was far more convenient, and made more sense for all our Bay Area family to get married in Oakland. So we did.

So I love this title… I love the US. Two people have to believe in a marriage… in the veracity, the value… the commitment, above self, to make it work.

I know a woman who is incredibly, paralyzingly insecure. In fact, confident, capable women make her feel bad. She is a tall, athletic type – and lately has been obsessed with interior decorating and clothes shopping… her husband tells her she is fat. He tells her that she’s so much fatter than when they were married. Which means she was a stick pre-kids. SHE IS NOT FAT. Not even a little bit. I think so much of her own inadequacies are highlighted due to his… opinion of her. To be honest…he could not be more backwards… think stereotype of a hillbilly.

I am more average… not too tall, not too fat, not to skinny – but my husband accepts me as I am. I don’t always believe it…but I think his consistent acceptance of me has shaped my… I don’t give a rat’s bum what people think attitude.

I like the oneness… that when we are one… we care for, look out for not only each other, but the good of the relationship.

By: thought on this post

thought on this post — Sun, 24 Jan 2010 05:14:46 +0000

I know my mom has worn jewlery she did not want to wear (from my Dad’s native country) to make him happy- ie it wouldn’t match w/what she was wearing and he would insist she wear it.

I also worked w/an elderly lady who didn’t like the color orange. But it was her husband’s favorite color, so she said she had worn lots of orange to make him happy.

By: EmilyH

EmilyH — Sun, 24 Jan 2010 04:51:32 +0000

Speidi? Seriously? I really don’t think there is any depth there to investigate.