I have been participating in an interesting email thread with the women in my husband’s family that relates to this list idea.

I don’t feel comfortable scrapping the list completely. Here is a portion of one of the emails I wrote:

“We have been counseled recently by the brethren, that although we need to be sensitive to those who do not have the ideal family situation, that we should continue to teach the ideal, allowing mercy and kindness towards those who are not able to experience that at this time. The ideal, in this case, would describe the traditional family of mother, father, and children, who are striving to do the will of the Lord.

I would apply this concept to what we strive for as women. Just because we can’t perfect ourselves all at once, doesn’t mean that we should lower the bar. Our ultimate goal is perfection. However, (I know I have been a hypocrite on this one here), we should be more merciful and kind to ourselves and each other as we journey back to the Savior. We should do more to seek the cleansing and comforting power of the Atonement, and find peace in giving our best, whatever that may be at the time, and do more to encourage others in a positive manner, giving the benefit of the doubt.”

I DO agree that when Satan is beating us over the head with the list, that this discouragement is clearly not of God.

I also think we need to be careful about what kinds of things we put on the list. Sometimes we put things there that God would not choose for us to put there.

And finally, I think we need to keep a better eternal perspective. I can be perfect in Christ now, because I am in a partnership with him. Someday, I may be perfected through him, and be perfect on my own, but not yet.

And to anon…of course the sisters who come to your class want practical suggestions! And I am guessing you have some great information to offer since you were asked to teach it. I think the key is to just acknowledge that learning to spend less at the grocery store while eating healthy is a process for most of us, and the sisters should leave your class encouraged that they can make progress in this area. Maybe they can take one or two ideas you’ve offered to start on right away, and that they can add others as they progress in this area.

PS On my list right now:

1. Practice showing mercy, to others and myself.

2. Organize my home better so I can enjoy more time with my family and friends.

There are other things on my back burner list…increase food storage, increase temple attendance, increase time spent in the scriptures, figure out how to teach my children to help at home more, lose 30 more pounds, train for a 5K, write a book, etc etc…but those are not the focus right now. Some days I do make a little progress in these other areas, and at some point in the future, I will focus on these other things. But not now, this is not the season for these things.

Sorry that was so long!

I’d just add a reference to Revelation 12:10-11 (below), which gives one of Satan’s names as “the accuser, who accused them before God day and night.” I think when he accuses us, he uses the first person. So instead of “you’re not good enough” he whispers “I’m not good enough” and we think the thoughts are coming from our own hearts instead of from him as temptations. That’s the way he tried to keep us from following Christ in the pre-existence, same as now. And then, as now, we respond: “You’re right; I’m not good enough, but Christ is…and his grace will save me.”

Revelation 12:10-11
10 And I heard a loud voice saying in heaven, Now is come salvation, and strength, and the kingdom of our God, and the power of his Christ: for the accuser of our brethren is cast down, which accused them before our God day and night.
11 And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb, and by the word of their testimony…

Sometimes I do okay with this, but other times I get on a compare-myself-with-others kick. I’ll look at each person’s strengths and see how I stack up. One woman in my ward keeps an amazingly clean house. I honestly think about it a few times a day – worrying that someone will realize my house is as messy as it is! I sometimes have imaginary conversations about how I would excuse it. How pathetic!

The problem is that there are so many aspects to compare. When I finally let one thing go, there’s another waiting in the wings – cleaning, raising kids, serving, testimony, hobbies, exercising, friendships, money, energy… The list could go on forever.

I don’t want people to compare themselves to me, good or bad. I need to stop doing it at all! I think I need to go blog about this!