Maybe that’s why teachers have little credibility.

They want to be “treated” like a professional, but they don’t want to act like one.

Any teacher that “dreads” having a particular child in her class, and refers to that child or parents as “trouble” needs to find another occupation.

SORRY, someone had to say it !

Achieving a balance between “stepping in and letting life happen” is difficult. It helps to remember our Heavenly Father’s methods as he sends us into an imperfect world.

Liz C – I loved the smart parents that coached my high school students on how to fight their own battles. Kids without that type of coaching, often resorted to lies and manipulation to achieve their goals. Students are going to have to fight their own battles in college, so it seemed like the examples you gave are the perfect way to prepare kids for “real life” and much healthier methods than just suffering silently.

Instead, she encouraged me to work out a plan and present my alternative to the teacher. I came up with: I’ll do the test for each section. If I miss any of the concepts, I’ll do the daily work for those sections and re-test. If I have all the concepts, my test score will be the daily/test score combined.

She worked with me all weekend on “how to present my reasonable plan”. I approached the teacher on Monday (very nerve-wracking), he kindly heard me out, and agreed that this sounded like a reasonable way to catch up, so that’s what we did.

That’s one example of a parent helping the kid “battle through”–in a way that really set me up with a skill I’ve used more than once since. Her advocacy and support made all the difference. Even with homeschooling now, we work on teaching our kids to handle real-life situations in mature ways–and with the case of “scary” teachers, giving a child the gift of “this is how we deal with things on your behalf, and this is what you can do as a reasonable person” is a huge thing.

My SIL’s son had a “scary” teacher who told my nephew that he wasn’t allowed to check specific books out, because she didn’t believe that he really could read them. Same teacher also assigned massive “do-over” busy work when my nephew got his homework assignments done in the time left over from in-class assignments. My SIL’s approach really gave my nephew the boost and confidence he needed: SIL returned the busy-work assignments blank, with a note saying that she had worked with her son, he had the concepts securely, and she would not be taking additional family time for busy-work in the future. She gave him permission to refuse (politely) an unreasonable request from a vindictive adult.

She experienced a bit of nerves about standing up to a teacher (even as an adult), but the results were SO worth it! Learning to stand firm and stand up is a skill we all need, at every age. It’s a bit scary to buck the system, or stand up to a perceived authority, but when authority is wielding unrighteous dominion, it’s vital.

Also I think so often we dismiss our children’s concerns with other adults. I think we need to really listen to our kids and give them the benefit of the doubt. So many kids start out school excited and curious and then a bad teacher or a bad school experience can totally kill their confidence and enthusiasm for learning. I think it is sad when parent think this inevitable. I think it is sad too when parents are almost powerless to make any sort of decisions on how or by whom their kids are educated. Isn’t it sad we give up so much of our power?

I think that we have to fight for what is right for our kids, no matter what. So maybe that means demanding another teacher, or switching schools, or homeschooling.

Teacher training has a lot about class management, and I don’t have those challenges with only four kids (two actively schooling, one play schooling–she’s 4–and one toddler.) Lesson planning is just not that hard to learn, but that just may come easily to me, as I teach outside our home, too, so I get a lot of practice there. Education philosophy, learning styles–there are excellent books and workshops on all these topics, so it’s easy to self-educate and be a better mentor for my children.

In the end, I think it’s just a confidence that our family can and will learn together. We seek out other mentors as needed, but between my husband and myself, we can cover a lot of bases without leaving home.

Good teachers: Miss Deiker in her first year of class, was the one who identified that I had stopped speaking entirely in response to a Dreadful Teacher the year before. She really drew me out, was wonderfully compassionate, and pushed me in every appropriate way, most notably by putting me into the higher spelling group when she saw the books I devoured at recess. “If you can read and understand them, it’s time to spell them.” She taught me that failure is just fine, so long as you keep trying.

Mr Jones, history and civics: just amazing. He loved the stories of history and human interaction, and made the class so much more than memorizing dates and places. He was a WWII vet, and was in Europe at the close of the war. He went back after the fall of the Berlin wall, and the next year, showed us slide shows with side by side pics of 1946 and 1989–same locations. He could also do back handflips, and walk the length of the gym on his hands (collegiate cheerleader in his day!)

Despite having several excellent teachers in my life, I’m very comfortable with our decision to learn at home. We’re having trouble with a few Sunday School teachers who refuse to be the adult in class and take charge of classroom management, and that’s really frustrating for my boy, who just wants to be there and learn, not bullied by on Bishopric member’s out-of-control son. So far, no results, despite pleas to teacher, Primary leadership, and the Bishop. It gets frustrating, but we’ll keep on, the same as we would with a public school.

If you’re having to supplement everything at home, you’re homeschooling, but not enjoying the freedom on having the rest of your day open! Let go, and jump in. The water’s fine, and it’s nice to get a LIFE in addition to an education.

In an attempt to further prepare the Saints against the inevitable threatening wolves, Paul the Apostle gave his warning: “For I know this, that after my departing shall grievous wolves enter in among you, not sparing the flock.” (Acts 20:29.) Where might these wolves get sheep’s clothing that is so authentic as to deceive the Lord’s flock? Could it be they are clothed with exceeding riches and fine clothing as Mormon warned? (See Alma 4:8.) The vainness and frailties and foolishness of men, the learned that hearken not unto the commandments of God, as Jacob warned? (See 2 Ne. 9:28.) Could it be that sometimes they may clothe themselves to appear as righteous shepherds, that even the very elect might be deceived? – Richard C. Edgley, “Keep the Faith,” Ensign, May 1993, 11

Fortunately, we don’t need to be afraid of wolves in the flock or scary teachers in our schools because, as Elder Maxwell reminded us:

“Personal revelation regarding parenting can provide customized guidance and reassurance!” – Neal A. Maxwell, “‘Take Especial Care of Your Family’,” Ensign, May 1994, 88

2) Be involved, however you can. This will help you to be better aware of what is going on in the school.

3) Prayerfully and carefully — that’s how to approach the idea of homeschooling. Will you and your child be able to get along 24/7? Be sure you have the support of your area schools, or a homeschooling support group — it is not easy to do alone! Draw upon all the resources available, and stand up for those that aren’t.

Heavenly Father loves you, loves your child, loves your child’s teachers (good and bad). Turn to Him most of all!