I am constantly amazed, and consistently delighted, at the many many ways to find happiness in this world: making the basketball team, joining the choir, stitching a quilt, starting a charity, earning an award or an honest dollar…running, inventing, gardening, swimming, hiking, writing or simply just noticing everything and anything good, beautiful, funny.
And yet, in this age of opportunities, where each of us can truly find joy, runs a current of criticism, jealousy, nit-picking and quibbling. The cynics seem to see the world as a pie and any success by someone else, means less for them to eat. But the world isn’t a single pastry, it’s a banquet– lush and full and overflowing, constantly replenished and with new dishes appearing every day. Life offers more than enough love, triumphs and beauty for each of us, no one needs to envy or critique another’s plate.
Each life also holds misery, heartache and disasters– which is all the more reason to tread gently and kindly on this earth.
Words, once published, are like Frankenstein brought to life– they take on actions of their own, free to misinterpretation and abuse.
Recently, the Deseret News introduced new commenting guidelines in an effort to encourage civil dialogue. I found this question and answer especially interesting:
Haven’t you ever heard of freedom of speech? That’s censorship!
Commenting on DeseretNews.com is a privilege, not a right. If you continually abuse that privilege, you may have your account suspended or banned. But we want your comments and added insight, so keep it civil and we can continue a long and meaningful online relationship.
I applaud the efforts of the Deseret News. Intelligent discussion defines a vibrant and educated society, but the ferocity of condemnation, the excoriation of ‘errant’ writers astounds me. It seems no one can write an opinion of any sort without subjecting themselves to name-calling and mockery.
In the first weeks of this year, I read a beautiful article– God will give you more than you can handle: I guarantee it.— but was saddened to see several comments (I didn’t go past the first twenty or so) both questioning and mocking her faith. Wouldn’t their opinions be better served by writing posts or articles of their own? Why tear apart her expressions of faith and understanding?
A friend compared this attitude to Korihor in the Book of Mormon as he mocked the followers of Christ. The high priest asked, “Why do you teach this people that there shall be no Christ to interrupt their rejoicings?” Alma 30:22. In this world of hardship, why would we want to interrupt any rejoicing?
Over and over, I’ve seen this behavior within discussions about… well, every topic imaginable. Just as we know Facebook taunts never change anyone’s opinion, does any attacker believe their cruel words (on either side of the discussion) will lead to understanding?
Perhaps some might say, “If you can’t take the heat, get out of the fire.” To some degree, this is true. But if every sensitive writer/singer/artist stopped contributing, we’d lose so many important voices. Each of us, in whatever we choose to pursue, must block out the voices of opposition. My sister loves to remind me, “The angels tell you to be glorious, but the devils tell you, ‘don’t even try.'”
Yes, we need to ignore the belittlers if we want to go forward. But I’d also suggest we’d all benefit– especially those who spend their time critiquing and reviling– by simply pursuing happiness, spreading kindness, looking for ways to help and create and enjoy this beautiful, beautiful life.
amen.
I love what Elder Holland has said multiple times: "The race is against sin, not each other."
I have also seen the ugly trend of gross generalization and unkindness when peoples' deeply held beliefs or opinions feel threatened by someone with a different view. We see it all the time in politics (the most notable recent example is those on both sides of the gay marriage debate), and, sadly, we see it in the church. My facebook feed has recently blown up with mocking or derogatory comments and links to scathing posts about the Ordain Women movement. I've noticed that when women are criticized, it is often other women who are the most disparaging, when shouldn't we be the ones seeking the most to love and to understand? I'm not affiliated with this group or its aims (and don't want to drag that debate into the comments), but I think there is room for much more compassion here. I let most of the comments on Facebook slide, but sometimes I try to take a stand for kindness, for dialogue that seeks understanding without condemnation.
The internet has served to connect us (how would I ever have become a Michelle L. admirer without it?), to make the world smaller, to broaden understanding, but it has also created a platform where people feel secure enough in their distance and relative anonymity to be much more harsh or cruel in comments than they ever would be in person. The internet can bring out the ugly in people, myself included.
Thanks for the reminder to seek after and speak things that are lovely.
Whoops–I meant "people's." That would have driven me crazy all day. 🙂
Very true. As great as the online writing and discussion is, it has opened up some critical nasty repercussions.
I love the reminder to speak your mind, write, express, but without stomping on someone. Especially need the reminder that there is joy and happiness in the littles of things! Thanks.
Well said; I agree. I think many of us, myself included, got into a habit of commenting negatively. BTW, I absolutely loved that post you referred to!
I love this post. This is something I'm trying to actively do in my life – pursue happiness and spread kindness. As I write this, I'm reminded of the 13th article of faith: "if there is anything good, lovely, or of good report, or praiseworthy, we seek after these things."
We ought to be looking for the good around us, and the thing I've found is – when I seek happiness and joy, I find it. The world is a better place when we choose to see it that way. And the best part of all, I think that this kind of attitude is contagious.
Thanks for this post and for your thoughts. 🙂 – Catania
I was having this very discussion with a friend of mine last night who noted that within her family she was seeing a culture of teasing that she wanted to replace with a culture of kindness. They have, therefore, been celebrating Lent by giving up something each week — this week was rasing your voice — and adding a "gem of kindness" — where each person has to tell about a kindness they saw another family member do that day at the dinner table at night.