As far as suffering from depression, I don’t think the Author was saying that those who are depressed should have others come over and wallow in their sadness for hours, telling anyone who comes along how sad and depressed they feel. I read the post as saying that it is OK to acknowledge that you are feeling depressed to other Sisters. It makes you more human, more relatable. And that when others hear of your depression they should also acknowledge it also and not just try to sweep it under the table. Then, after acknowledging it, do something to help cheer you up.

Elder Wirthlin put it so well in this last General Conference when he said,

“How can we love days that are filled with sorrow? We can’t—at least not in the moment. I don’t think my mother was suggesting that we suppress discouragement or deny the reality of pain. I don’t think she was suggesting that we smother unpleasant truths beneath a cloak of pretended happiness. But I do believe that the way we react to adversity can be a major factor in how happy and successful we can be in life. If we approach adversities wisely, our hardest times can be times of greatest growth, which in turn can lead toward times of greatest happiness.”

We need to be more honest with each other so that we can REALLY help each other out and not just sit on each others couches each month reciting a lesson, and pretending everything is just perfect. Who can relate to that?

Everyone has trials, we all need to share and not be one up’d. Or be told if we just have faith, let go of our pride, or try harder everything will work out. Just give me a hug and remember my name when you see me in the hall.

As an aside-Our stake Pres says when someone asks how you’re doing you should always say,”GREAT!” This bothers me on so many levels that when he asks how I’m doing I say anything but “GREAT”.

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Angela michelle, your comment about feeling somewhat cut off because of lack of give and take is interesting to me. My current ward seems to have a lot of that, and I really am grateful. One good friend calls me from the grocery store when there’s a good deal, and if I am interested, she’ll pick up whatever I need–or even good library books on the sale rack. My next door neighbor and I just started getting together twice a week, one prepares meals while the other watches kids. When my dh has a scout campout, his assistant’s wife and I are taking turns cleaning/watching kids and having dinner together. I’ve known other women who swap sitting so they can attend the temple and such. The meal prep and cleaning swap I have initiated because “I need! I need!” and I figured other women must need also. But a new gal in the ward simply offered to help me paint my cupboard doors out of the blue a few weeks ago. It seems like I live in a ward that is simply like this. And linking it back to Brooke’s theme, I think it’s because there is generally a nice level of openness in our ward, so people know what others need. It really is a blessing to be part of this.

The one thing I’d like to add is my own “witness,” as a complaining type, that a certain type of complaining really, really, really works well for me. For example, two days ago I was saying to my mom “I don’t know how I’m going to accomplish this,” and “I don’t know what I’ll do about that,” and she just listened supportively — and maybe asked a couple questions to clarify the problems — and within hours I’d figured out how to let go of this and found a solution to that, and was much more happy and calm. Granted, I can also get this kind of support by pouring my heart out in my prayers, but often my prayers are answered by the kind listening ear of a real-life person. And even when my problems are less easily and quickly resolved, it’s nice to know that someone (who’s kind and non-judgmental,) knows what I’m going through.

I guess the kind of empathy that can lead us to further wallowing is the kind that validates our despair and says, “You’re right; you’re totally sunk,” but often just having someone listen and admit that what we’re expressing is truly challenging makes us feel so much better that we can then go out and find a solution. (Also, if solutions are offered too quickly and before we’ve really been and felt understood, they often feel unkind, annoying, or just aren’t applicable.)

I love the entire post, but especially that line. Good point. Well said.

True, there is a fine line, but what happens when we share and are honest about our trials is we connect with other sisters who have similar struggles and who may have been thinking they were all alone. I’ve seen it happen here on Segullah and to me it is absolutely beautiful every time.

I’ll be the first to admit that I feel uncomfortable sharing personal problems with others and being on the receiving end of service; but when I do, I’m often flooded with support. And with that support I feel God’s love for me even more. Heavenly Father needs us to serve one another to accomplish His work, so we need to allow others to serve us if we want His help. Which means we need to let others know what we are really going through and we need to be more honest.

I also feel a much closer bond with Sisters who I have opened up to and who have opened up to me. I feel less need to judge them and I feel safe from their judgment. In that spirit of love there is a foundation to grow together in faith.