The birthday present

Posted by Guest | July 8, 2008 | 10 Comments

Today’s guest post is the continuation of last week’s Cover to Cover, by Lynne. Thanks again, Lynne!

As I mentioned before, the Lord knows us and where we are in our lives. No sooner had I finished reading The Book of Mormon, than an amazing experience happened to me that could not have happened earlier:

As adults, my siblings and I have taken many different paths in our lives. I am the oldest of eight. Four of us are very active in the church, one is struggling to come back, two are very anti, and one is not sure which way to go. The one thing we all share is our love for each other. We get along great as long as the church is not brought up. It still strikes me as odd how we can all be so different even after being raised by the same parents. It is proof to me that we all existed long before this life.

My sisters and I get together as often as we can to go to lunch, or attend home shows, tour gardens or just go shopping. We had decided to get together for Julie’s birthday and tour some gardens. We gave her some presents as she was leaving, which she opened. Then my other younger sister Beth gave her a gift and told her not to open it till she got home. Julie wondered why—in fact we all did—then hugged us and left. The rest of us rode home together and I couldn’t wait to ask Beth what the gift was. She told me she’d given Julie a leather-bound Book of Mormon with just her first name embossed on it. My jaw dropped and my other sister gasped. We were shocked.

Julie has been very against the church for a long time. No one brings it up around her because she is so negative about it. She has lived her own way for a very long time. She never had a strong basis in the church—no Primary because we lived overseas, and, as a middle child, she may have been overlooked a little. She ran away from home (by stealing my parents car) at the age of 14. I’ll spare you the details, but she has chosen a hard path. She is married, but she and her husband are both lost souls who found each other. She is an anomaly because she eats healthier than anyone I know. She eats organic everything, growing most of her own food, along with grapes, which they press into their own wine. Yet she struggles with drugs and alcoholism. Even with all this I have to say she is the nicest person around. We always say that she is like our family’s Relief Society President: she would help anyone. Just don’t talk about the church. She hates the hypocrisy she sees. She does not understand God. In fact she chooses not have children because she truly believes God would make something be wrong with them, just to punish her.

Needless to say, Julie was not pleased when she opened the book. She thought we had all ganged up on her. But Beth had had a very strong prompting to give Julie The Book of Mormon by her birthday. Beth wasn’t too sure about what to expect, but she felt she HAD to follow the prompting. Julie called Beth, but Beth was too scared to answer her phone. Julie left a message about how upset she was and then she called my other sister, who answered. Julie proceeded to yell at her and asked if we had all ganged up on her. She told her no, but I’m not sure Julie believed her. We could see that this wasn’t quite going over how Beth had hoped.

I felt like I needed to see Julie and have lunch with her. She lives in Salt Lake and every time I am there I call her to go to lunch, so I didn’t think she’d be suspicious of my phone call. I called her twice Monday, but there was no answer and no return call. I left a message that I would be up there for work and wanted to meet her. I called again Tuesday, but again, no answer. Julie has a habit of always calling me back. And finally on Wednesday she did. I told I had to go up that way anyway, and asked if I could meet her. She asked if I was in on the book. I told her no and explained that Beth’s intentions were good. Beth wasn’t preaching to her, she just felt like she needed to give her a book to help her be happy. Julie was glad it wasn’t a group effort agreed to meet me for lunch that day. (I didn’t really need to go up for work, but it got my foot in the door.)

We met for lunch and we were just eating and talking about nothing in particular. Then Julie asked me why in the world Beth would give her a Book of Mormon? I explained that Beth didn’t want to offend her. We all know that Julie is not very happy—she feels directionless, has a troubled marriage, and feels life has no meaning. Beth just wanted to give Julie the same book that had helped her in times of need. I told Julie that she shouldn’t read so much into it. That led to quite a discussion about the church.

I told her I believe in the gospel because it just feels right. It is the right place and teachings to help me raise my kids. Julie hates the hypocrisy she sees in some of the members—and I completely see where she’s coming from. I tried to explain that you don’t have to be perfect to be a member. The gospel is true regardless of the people in it.

We talked for a long time and then I did something I never thought I’d do—I bore my testimony of The Book of Mormon. I told her I had just read it for the first time. Julie was shocked. I told her I’d been too stubborn to be told to read it. I explained how I always felt I should read it but that I had to do so on my own terms. I think she was surprised that I was a member and had never read it through; she thought it was required. I explained to her how it was basically just a history book. Just as the Bible is a compilation of writings and journals, so is the Book of Mormon. It just took place on another continent. I don’t think Julie had ever thought of it that way. She seemed to think it was just preachy all the way through.

We talked for a long time, about how we are both strong, fairly stubborn women who have married happy-go-lucky guys and how it sometimes drives us nuts. She asked me why Beth had not thought to give her the book when she was 14 or 24. (She’s 34 now.) I explained that Beth would have only been 10 or 20, and not old or mature enough to have thought of it. In fact, it was probably my responsibility to do that, as the big sister, but it had never crossed my mind and I was sorry. I had not read the Book of Mormon till now, so how could I have shared it?

We left on good terms and it seems that things are back to normal with everyone. Who knows if anything will come of this, but I hope a seed has been planted. Maybe the whole reason I felt like I needed to read The Book of Mormon when I did was so I could respond intelligently to Beth giving the book to Julie. It couldn’t really be a big sister giving the book, and Beth wasn’t the one who could talk to her, being the little sister. It all worked out the way it was supposed to, I guess. Whatever happens, I do feel like this experience was a tender mercy. I wonder if it has always been my job to share my testimony about this with Julie and it has taken me till I was 42 to do it. Part of me feels I have been a slacker and need to be more aware and follow God’s commandments better. But I do know Heavenly Father knows us. He loves us. And he knows what we can and should do.

Category: Daily Special

Comments

10 Responses to “The birthday present”

ellen
July 8th, 2008 @ 8:43 am

This post is wonderful because it’s so real. I love pizzazz as much as anyone, but life usually conducts itself in these quiet ways. I’ve heard people say they wished they had taken a certain action sooner, wondering why it took them so long to see something that now seems so obvious.

The thing is we can’t learn something until we learn it. And that means having lived just exactly the way we lived so that when the lesson came along we were prepared to understand it. Lynne and Beth were right where they needed to be. To me that simply cannot be coincidence.
cheryl
July 8th, 2008 @ 10:20 am

What I see here is exactly what the Lord wanted –one sister do to the action, and the other sister to do the explaining (kind of like what Ellen said). What a testimony of how intimately we are known to God!
Kalli
July 8th, 2008 @ 10:51 am

You know, my family is kind of a similar story. I’m the black sheep sibling because I do go to church. It’s a constant source of worry and prayer for my parents and after several years of struggling with the best way to keep our family cohesive I’ve come to realize that I just have to listen to the spirit and wait for promptings, much like the one your sister received and the urge you felt to finish the Book of Mormon. In the meantime I try to live every day so that I’m always wearing my testimony on my sleeve and they can see and hopefully feel it without my shoving it down their throats.

Thanks for this post, I loved it.
Annette
July 8th, 2008 @ 11:14 am

This is one of those goosebump-raising moments that come in quiet, unexpected ways. “It all worked out the way it was supposed to” pretty much sums it up. Thanks for sharing this story.
elizabeth-w
July 8th, 2008 @ 11:58 am

I’ve thought about this story throughout the week and wondered what the second half would bring. It was just such a simple thing. You can look at it as coincidence, or Divine Intervention. I’m learning to see things as the latter and it increases my faith. Thanks for sharing your experience!
Rose
July 8th, 2008 @ 2:29 pm

What a beautiful story. It reminds me I MUST follow every prompting I receive, because you never really know what kind of effect it can have, on ourselves or others’ lives.
Leisha
July 8th, 2008 @ 2:54 pm

I ‘second’ the first post…it says what I’d like to say perfectly.

This is a wonderful and thought provoking post, thank you!
m&m
July 8th, 2008 @ 4:56 pm

What a story.

Not only is testimony line upon line, but I am coming to believe more and more that life is line upon line. That takes patience — with ourselves and with others.

Thank you for sharing this.
Sage
July 8th, 2008 @ 7:16 pm

This post reminded me how much people expect Mormons to be perfect because of our standards, as Lynne’s sister expressed or they consider us hypocritical because we aren’t free from defect. Yet these expectations deny our humanity and put undo pressure on us and maybe even keep us from truly relying on Christ. Thank you for sharing this story. The Lord does truly touch our lives with His tender mercies as she said. I hope I will be better at sharing my testimony. Thanks for your example.
MaryC
July 9th, 2008 @ 1:07 pm

I think this is my first comment on here, but I have read posts from time to time. Your post completely choked me up and I am so amazed at your experience and so glad you shared it. My family is much like yours (seven girls, four of us are active, the other three range from not interested to very anti- who plays the “Mormons are all hypocrites” card too.) and I have never had the courage or the opportunity to have a real, adult conversation with any of my inactive sisters. It is so amazing to see the chain of events that took place. I sincerely hope your sister finds some peace, however it may come.