Comments on: The Fourth Commandment

By: MStephens

MStephens — Tue, 11 Nov 2008 18:46:21 +0000

One of the things my mom did to try to teach us that the Sabbath is different is she allowed us to watch movies, but they had to be “Sunday movies”. She would buy church history movies and church plays on tape and seminary videos and so on for us to watch. I can’t count how many times we watched “My Turn on Earth” or “Saturday’s Warriors” or “It’s a Miracle” or “A Field So White”. We really loved the set of videos about the Restoration. We could watch those for hours!

By: Ben

Ben — Tue, 11 Nov 2008 18:18:52 +0000

Here’s my Sabbath interpretation. You know that feeling you get when you walk out of the temple after some heavy worship and prayer, spiritually enlightened and edified, and you get to the parking lot and realize that those feelings will be fleeting because you MUST return to the world. You look at your car menacingly because you know that in it you’ll be cut off by other drivers who will need a good tongue lashing, and face speed limits that will need breaking. You know the route home will take you past the mall where you spend more money in a day than a 3rd-World family makes in a month. So much for obedience and consecration!?

As surely as leaves fall from a tree in Autumn, the spirit falls away one thought at a time, until it lays in lovely piles of memory. Sure, I understand we can’t always reside in the fullness of the spirit, or choices wouldn’t require enough thought to make us grow. Just as we had to leave heaven to be tested, our best growth experiences in life come when we are forced to decide without the spirit resting heavy upon us; when it is more of a lingering influence than a powerful presence. And so I’m forced to think of ways to prolong the feelings and memories, and live life so that the spirit of the temple fades more slowly. These are the activities I strive towards. But since life gets in the way most days, these are the things that make me holier on the Sabbath.

Sunday is my day to try to live the way I’d like to live after just leaving the temple. Doing all the things that edify, and none of the things that don’t. I barely need to drive, and traffic is light, so I have no road rage and don’t feel pressured by other drivers to go too fast. No anger, obey the speed limit. There’s no shopping so I’m not spending money I should be sending to someone more needy than I am. There’s no work, so I can spend more time with my children and family, teaching and sharing bonds of love. There aren’t chores, so I can better focus on the work that I don’t “have time for” otherwise, like home-teaching, missionary work, genealogy, or preparing for my calling and classes. It’s a great escape from normal life and a great preparation for a week of turmoil and tough choices.

Am I perfect? Far from it, but I’m moving in the right direction. And I know I must be doing something right when I’m more concerned about losing the spirit on Monday morning than I am when I walk out of the doors of the Church Sunday afternoon.

By: Zina

Zina — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 07:41:53 +0000

Mindy, I could SWEAR I heard an apostle or general authority once say (a few years ago) that the church now recommended NO church meetings on Sunday other than the regular three hours plus “a brief ward correlation meeting.” I really do have a good auditory memory — but I have never ever been able to find the quote, and I don’t think my husband believes me. My guess is that (assuming my memory was correct) the church backed away from making that recommendation a *rule,* because there are places and circumstances where members truly can’t find time to meet except on Sunday; when they really do have to fit most interaction into Sunday (for example, if you have a congregation whose members all live far from the church and have jobs with very long hours.) What we ARE all being told, though, is to minimize frills and simplify as much as possible in order to create time for gospel teaching and family togetherness at HOME. But people are slow to change, and there’s such a strong tendency to try to magnify callings by multiplying meetings and busywork, that it’s very, very easy for the family to be inadvertently relegated to 2nd place (or 3rd place, or 4th place, etc.) I’m extremely family-oriented (not to mention busy and overwhelmed,) and I get VERY annoyed and frustrated at how the “simplify” message seems to be ignored — but I should probably spend less time examining others’ motes, since I’ve doubtless got large beams of my own.

(I did, however, just persuade my Enrichment committee that paper dishes for Enrichment Night would be just fine. Some seemed a bit dubious; some indifferent, and some seemed relieved.)

By: Leslie

Leslie — Sun, 09 Nov 2008 00:07:13 +0000

I think keeping the sabbath day holy is alot about our personal evolution. We keep trying to move ourselves away from the the cares of the world and more towards the things of the Spirit. we’re all in different places on that continuum but hopefully moving in the same direction. I do notice the more “effort” I put into making the sabbath a truly special, different day, the more my family benefits. For me it comes down to building relationships, keeping things more calm, harmonious.

By: Mindy

Mindy — Sat, 08 Nov 2008 17:16:01 +0000

I’m so glad church leadership hasn’t given us a list. That’s so Law of Moses. I think it comes down to your own situation and what brings your family closer together… which will ultimately bring us closer to God. When we were married, my husband was shocked that our family would get together for a big extended family dinner each Sunday at my parents house, which included swimming if it was a super hot day. He grew up with the whole devil in the water idea. I was shocked to see his younger brother going off to work a high school job at the grocery store, which my parents would have never allowed, or going out for dinner. I’m sure swimming is on many people’s lists of what we shouldn’t do, but for us it was part of great family time where we could be home together.

One thing that’s always bothered me is all the endless meetings that take place on Sundays, pulling family members away from each other and draining individuals of energy and time for thoughtful spiritual contemplation. For me that’s just not ok. It shouldn’t be the day for getting a week’s worth of church work done.

By: Marge Bjork

Marge Bjork — Sat, 08 Nov 2008 17:15:40 +0000

I had a religion professor talk about a pattern surrounding commandments. There’s a principle given–the “why” behind the commandment– like “life is sacred.” Then there is the commandment that is given, “Thou shalt not kill.” And then we are left to make our own personal fences or guidelines.

He also said that our personal rules for keeping commandments should follow two guidelines: They should be personal and they should be temporary. Because we grow line upon line, precept upon precept and because our lives are constantly changing and require different sacrifices.

I’m extremely glad there is no set of rules. I think because it is left to our own discretion we have to be more aware of whether or not our heart is in the right place on the Sabbath day. We have to ask ourselves each Sabbath day those questions that Alma asks in chapter 5, that if you have felt that you’re setting Sunday aside for the Lord, can you still feel that same way?

By: Lorie

Lorie — Sat, 08 Nov 2008 15:25:40 +0000

I am glad there isn’t a list. I like that the Lord trusts me enough to make my own guidelines. I think there are lines where lines need to be and in some things, like keeping the Sabbath Day Holy, a commandment that is for showing devotion, not for keeping you healthy or safe or securing your eternal salvation, that it is up to us to find the best way for our family to worship outside of church. It isn’t about doing or not doing something, it is about making the choice to draw closer to the Savior.

By: Grandma-Lorie

Grandma-Lorie — Sat, 08 Nov 2008 06:15:44 +0000

Knowing what was right for the sabbath seems to me to be exceedingly simple. It’s supposed to be holy, right? and what does “holy?” mean. Aything that brings you closer to the Lord or His spirit is holy. Anything that draws you away from His spirit is unholy. Easy concept. But in reality, keeping a holy Sabbath with small kids is simply impossible – let alone giving yourself any REST! Even getting and keeping the Spirit during Sacrament is a lost cause when you have toddlers. But learning to be quiet in church is the beginning of a child learning reverence. That requires endless training, and the trainers (mom and dad) don’t get to relax for a minute! I’m sometimes surprised mothers of young children nurture any testimony at all.
My own mom was not one for arguing or laying down laws. But she did like to put up signs without any comment or discourse on them. For example, the sign over the phone read: “Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?” and hung there for 12 years. “Sabbeth activity: Does it bring you closer to the Lord?” would be another sign. If such a sign is up there forever, it gradually sinks into the subconscious.
However, Jennie and Arianne have expressed with adamancy how much they HATED my notes and signs. I thought I was only making free-will suggestions. (Another lesson: No matter how much you work to be a good mother, your kids won’t believe it. A fact you will just have to eat.”

By: Zina

Zina — Sat, 08 Nov 2008 05:35:39 +0000

Arianne, I don’t think I want blessings if they are gross ones.

(Pardon my stupid humor.)

We wore church clothes all Sunday long in the family I grew up in, and I actually liked it. It did make a difference in the activities we participated in. (One quiet Sunday afternoon, one of my siblings went around the house taking candid photos — and found that every single family member was reading something.)

As a newlywed, when we were occasionally invited to other members’ homes on Sunday evenings, I was embarrassed to discover I was the only one still wearing church clothes. Not wanting to make others uncomfortable for dressing down, nor to stick out, I learned to change into more casual clothing if I were going anywhere.

Then, because I didn’t want the extra laundry, I started making my kids change out of church clothes right after church — but that was when I had to use a shared coin-op laundry room. Now that I have a good washer and a dryer in my home, I don’t mind the kids staying in their nice clothes, and my girls often prefer to (they like their pretty dresses.) My oldest son changes the second he gets home, and it kind of bothers me, but so far not enough to make a new rule about not changing.

Nowadays whether or not I change has a lot to do with how comfortable my church clothes are. I will stay in a long flowing skirt with flats, but if I wore a short straight skirt and heels to church, I will change when I get home just as quickly as my son does.

I’m not sure why I went off on this particular trivial aspect of Sabbath observance — I guess the only conclusion I can draw is that I DO think how we dress can make a difference in how we feel, but I’m grateful for the leeway to be flexible in how that principle gets applied in my family.

By: m&m

m&m — Sat, 08 Nov 2008 05:33:20 +0000

If it’s such a big deal why don’t the brethren make a list of what’s OK and what’s not?

I have thought about this in general a lot the past year or so, and really have come to believe all the more in that whole ‘teach correct principles/govern selves’ thing…as a critical, critical part of mortality. We must learn by our own experience what strengthens our spirits and brings us closer to God.

Think of how many other commandments really have so much room for interpretation. What does it mean to be honest in your dealings? What is a ‘full tithe’? What about the specifics of multiplying and replenishing (how many children should we have and when?) The list could go on and on and on….

I’m reading The Holy Secret right now and it has some great insights into the Sabbath, and into commandments, for that matter. I highly recommend it.

One thing it points out is what ‘rest’ means in the scriptures. It’s not just about not doing stuff, it’s about coming into God’s presence. A mini-Millenium is what I have sometimes called it. This book is causing me to ponder all the more what can sanctify me and bring me closer to God’s presence.