Comments on: The Kiss http://segullah.org/daily-special/the-kiss/ Mormon women blogging about the peculiar and the treasured Thu, 09 Feb 2012 10:50:52 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: TH http://segullah.org/daily-special/the-kiss/#comment-41773 TH Wed, 09 Jan 2008 07:22:59 +0000 http://segullah.org/guest-post/the-kiss/#comment-41773 Maybe that suspicion saved you from Mike and Steve and who knows what else. That painful experience early on may have helped prevent untold heartache in following few years. I am sure the experience was more damaging to Larry in the long run even though it wasn’t painful and even if he still doesn’t know it yet. It sounds a lot like you and your children will learn a lot from that painful experience. I wish there was a better way to learn… Maybe that suspicion saved you from Mike and Steve and who knows what else. That painful experience early on may have helped prevent untold heartache in following few years. I am sure the experience was more damaging to Larry in the long run even though it wasn’t painful and even if he still doesn’t know it yet. It sounds a lot like you and your children will learn a lot from that painful experience. I wish there was a better way to learn…

]]> By: Sue http://segullah.org/daily-special/the-kiss/#comment-41736 Sue Wed, 09 Jan 2008 03:58:33 +0000 http://segullah.org/guest-post/the-kiss/#comment-41736 Personally, I think it would have been better to have no experience at all than to have a hurtful experience to look back on as my first kiss. It colored my view of boys for a while. I was very suspicious of their motives. I gave a few boys a pretty hard time. Luckily, I had other, sweeter experiences after that. Personally, I think it would have been better to have no experience at all than to have a hurtful experience to look back on as my first kiss. It colored my view of boys for a while. I was very suspicious of their motives. I gave a few boys a pretty hard time.

Luckily, I had other, sweeter experiences after that.

]]> By: Emily M. http://segullah.org/daily-special/the-kiss/#comment-41735 Emily M. Wed, 09 Jan 2008 03:49:31 +0000 http://segullah.org/guest-post/the-kiss/#comment-41735 Question: my first kiss was not until well into college. And would you rather have had "experience" in that way, or would you rather have stayed in the "VLC" (that would be the "Virgin Lips Club," for those who did not attend BYU in the early nineties)? Is painful kissing experience better than the shame of no kissing experience at all? Question: my first kiss was not until well into college. And would you rather have had “experience” in that way, or would you rather have stayed in the “VLC” (that would be the “Virgin Lips Club,” for those who did not attend BYU in the early nineties)? Is painful kissing experience better than the shame of no kissing experience at all?

]]> By: JD http://segullah.org/daily-special/the-kiss/#comment-41719 JD Wed, 09 Jan 2008 02:26:11 +0000 http://segullah.org/guest-post/the-kiss/#comment-41719 So sorry that was your first kiss and so glad that you are teaching your son to be different. I want to protect my daughter from an experience like that. So sorry that was your first kiss and so glad that you are teaching your son to be different. I want to protect my daughter from an experience like that.

]]> By: Azucar http://segullah.org/daily-special/the-kiss/#comment-39881 Azucar Thu, 03 Jan 2008 18:14:16 +0000 http://segullah.org/guest-post/the-kiss/#comment-39881 I married Larry. I am not kidding. He reformed and learned his lesson before I married him, but hearing his stories makes me shake my head a little. Now that we have two boys, I am determined that they will not repeat his mistakes. On a related note, I think we need to do a better job of educating our daughters. I had a non-LDS acquaintance who told me that it was easier to get a girl into bed in Utah than in anywhere else--all he had to say was that he loved her. I married Larry.

I am not kidding.

He reformed and learned his lesson before I married him, but hearing his stories makes me shake my head a little. Now that we have two boys, I am determined that they will not repeat his mistakes. On a related note, I think we need to do a better job of educating our daughters. I had a non-LDS acquaintance who told me that it was easier to get a girl into bed in Utah than in anywhere else–all he had to say was that he loved her.

]]> By: Kylie http://segullah.org/daily-special/the-kiss/#comment-39624 Kylie Thu, 03 Jan 2008 00:09:50 +0000 http://segullah.org/guest-post/the-kiss/#comment-39624 My girl (6th grade) has had a boy who has liked her for four years. He's a cute kid, and we've had a hard time figuring out the line between being nice and leading someone on. She doesn't like him "like that." But he's nice. And she wants to be nice. And this is only 6th grade, for heaven's sakes. I know relationships/dating will get even more complicated with time. My second grade son has a crush--on his teacher. So we're learning about being nice to people we "like" with an adult who understands! My 4th grade son is in love with half the girls at school. He's a bit more of a handful, and I am very concerned about how I will parent him during the dating years. But I comfort myself with this: I AM NOT ALONE. Of course, I know I have Heavenly Father's help in all this, but I also have my HUSBAND (who was, after all, a boy). And, unfortunately, he was one of those boys who kissed a lot of girls. Even on one night. But not me. And yes, he's seen the light and understands why women like me think kissing means something. My girl (6th grade) has had a boy who has liked her for four years. He’s a cute kid, and we’ve had a hard time figuring out the line between being nice and leading someone on. She doesn’t like him “like that.” But he’s nice. And she wants to be nice. And this is only 6th grade, for heaven’s sakes. I know relationships/dating will get even more complicated with time.

My second grade son has a crush–on his teacher. So we’re learning about being nice to people we “like” with an adult who understands! My 4th grade son is in love with half the girls at school. He’s a bit more of a handful, and I am very concerned about how I will parent him during the dating years. But I comfort myself with this: I AM NOT ALONE. Of course, I know I have Heavenly Father’s help in all this, but I also have my HUSBAND (who was, after all, a boy). And, unfortunately, he was one of those boys who kissed a lot of girls. Even on one night. But not me. And yes, he’s seen the light and understands why women like me think kissing means something.

]]> By: Heather O. http://segullah.org/daily-special/the-kiss/#comment-39572 Heather O. Wed, 02 Jan 2008 21:07:04 +0000 http://segullah.org/guest-post/the-kiss/#comment-39572 Honesty matters, too. My mother beat it into my brain that I should always go out with a boy who asked me, because it was mean to hurt his feelings by saying no. I went out on a lot of lame dates that way, and I eventually came to realize that it's not very fair to go out with somebody if you really don't want to, because inevitably you will be having the "I'm not interested" conversation if you don't like him anyway. I even had somebody tell me, after I told him I wasn't interested, "Well, when did you start lying to me, then? And do you think it was right of you to go with me to the concert?" Although I personally never felt manipulative, he obviously felt manipulated, and I cringe when I think of how the situation went down. Better to have never agreed to the date in the first place. There is nothing about dating that is easy, and I cried my eyes out for days after somebody once told me he didn't love me, but hey, at least I knew exactly where we stood. I hope my kids will be forthright, open, honest, and keep their wits about them when they enter the dating pool. And boy, I don't envy that stage in the least! Honesty matters, too. My mother beat it into my brain that I should always go out with a boy who asked me, because it was mean to hurt his feelings by saying no. I went out on a lot of lame dates that way, and I eventually came to realize that it’s not very fair to go out with somebody if you really don’t want to, because inevitably you will be having the “I’m not interested” conversation if you don’t like him anyway. I even had somebody tell me, after I told him I wasn’t interested, “Well, when did you start lying to me, then? And do you think it was right of you to go with me to the concert?”

Although I personally never felt manipulative, he obviously felt manipulated, and I cringe when I think of how the situation went down. Better to have never agreed to the date in the first place.

There is nothing about dating that is easy, and I cried my eyes out for days after somebody once told me he didn’t love me, but hey, at least I knew exactly where we stood.

I hope my kids will be forthright, open, honest, and keep their wits about them when they enter the dating pool. And boy, I don’t envy that stage in the least!

]]> By: Brandie http://segullah.org/daily-special/the-kiss/#comment-39521 Brandie Wed, 02 Jan 2008 18:50:25 +0000 http://segullah.org/guest-post/the-kiss/#comment-39521 Loved the story! And now I'm even more stressed out about being a mom. What a responsibility I have! Loved the story!
And now I’m even more stressed out about being a mom. What a responsibility I have!

]]> By: mom2nine http://segullah.org/daily-special/the-kiss/#comment-39518 mom2nine Wed, 02 Jan 2008 18:45:32 +0000 http://segullah.org/guest-post/the-kiss/#comment-39518 Let's hope Steve and Mike don't have sons in Sarah's class at school! Let’s hope Steve and Mike don’t have sons in Sarah’s class at school!

]]> By: Kalli http://segullah.org/daily-special/the-kiss/#comment-39489 Kalli Wed, 02 Jan 2008 17:37:25 +0000 http://segullah.org/guest-post/the-kiss/#comment-39489 I think about this subject A LOT! I can remember a ton of "Larry's" and "Mike's", some I really liked, others not so much. I look back on a good majority of the boys I kissed and I wonder what I was thinking? I can't help but hold myself a little bit responsible because it wasn't like I didn't know what kind of guys they were or how this was going to end up. I think every girl likes to think she could be the one that changes him! The reality is that it's all part of the growing up process, on both ends. Some guys like that really will never grow up, some take a while to get there but finally do. As for us, we take those heartbreaks and chalk it up to experience that we learn and grow from! I know that all those frogs I kissed in the past helped open my eyes and helped me realize what I had when I finally kissed one who wasn't a frog! I hope my son(s?) are kind and don't set out to break hearts or set kissing records! Chances are they'll break a few hearts on the way, but so is life right? I think about this subject A LOT!

I can remember a ton of “Larry’s” and “Mike’s”, some I really liked, others not so much. I look back on a good majority of the boys I kissed and I wonder what I was thinking? I can’t help but hold myself a little bit responsible because it wasn’t like I didn’t know what kind of guys they were or how this was going to end up. I think every girl likes to think she could be the one that changes him!

The reality is that it’s all part of the growing up process, on both ends. Some guys like that really will never grow up, some take a while to get there but finally do. As for us, we take those heartbreaks and chalk it up to experience that we learn and grow from! I know that all those frogs I kissed in the past helped open my eyes and helped me realize what I had when I finally kissed one who wasn’t a frog!

I hope my son(s?) are kind and don’t set out to break hearts or set kissing records! Chances are they’ll break a few hearts on the way, but so is life right?

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