I do my best visiting teaching when I visit someone who is within five years of my own age. Or someone who’s younger than me. But right now I visit two wonderful women who are twenty and thirty years older than me, and I feel like–I know–that I’m not that great at meeting their needs. If either of them had an emergency, a problem, would they call me? I don’t think so. They’d call their kids, or their friends in the ward who are contemporaries. People their own age, or maybe slightly older, who have been where they’ve been. People who are organic friends, natural friends, as opposed to assigned friends.

I have great talks with the women I visit. I respect and admire them. I have brought them bread. I go every month (sometimes the last week, but still, every month). But there is a gap, a barrier, because they have years of life experience that I cannot know or empathize with fully. A couple of years ago I visited a sister who was struggling with her teenage kids. She shared some of her concern with me, and I … I don’t remember what I said. I think I told her that she was a good mom. But I kept wondering why I was assigned to visit her, because I felt like she would be better served by someone who could say “me too! My teenagers gave me fits as well! But you’ll get through this.” Instead, she got me, and I have young kids who are busy but not yet teenagers. I wanted to empathize but I felt inadequate.

My favorite times as a visiting teacher are when people trust me enough to allow me to help them. I visited a sister a few years ago who had the hardest time letting me bring dinner when she was sick… but she had little kids, and she really needed it. When she finally agreed, I felt so good. She let me see her vulnerability and help her through it. It was a gift.

I’ve been thinking about this especially because yesterday in Relief Society the sister that I visit mentioned that she was having a rough day recently, and someone anonymous did something kind to help her. It wasn’t me. I’m not even clued in to her life enough to know that she was struggling. And the same is true of the other sister I visit: I don’t keep on top of her world enough to know what her true needs are.

I can’t help but wonder, with both of them, if I were closer to their age, even just a little older, would I be able to meet their needs better? Would they trust me more, because we would have walked some of the same paths? Or, what is more likely, am I just using age difference as a cop out, when what I really need to do is invest more energy praying for them?

Does anyone else out there see an age gap in the way we serve each other, that middle-aged women help out younger women, but that the reverse is not always true? or is it just me?


  1. annegb

    July 20, 2009

    As a visiting teaching coordinater, I’ve sometimes played with that sociological dynamic you describe. I’ll send young and vibrant sisters to older ones, if I feel (prayerfully) they can teach each other something. Old sure can learn from young as well as the reverse.

    I quite enjoy the younger women.

  2. Kellie

    July 20, 2009

    Sometimes visiting teaching is as much for the teacher as it is for those we visit. Talk to your Relief Society President and find out if the assignment were a matter of prayer. I would be willing to bet they were and maybe you are supposed to learn from them and not necessarily the other way around.

    Also, I seem to have a harder time opening up to my peers because as women we seem to be in competition with each other. I love visiting older women and getting their advice because they have most likely experienced it. One woman I visited who was almost 40 years older than me requested that I bring my three small children with me to brighten up her house with their noises again once in a while, since her grandchildren lived far away.

  3. Sandi

    July 20, 2009

    True friendship knows no age. As long as you view it as an “assigned” friendship, you will feel this way. I’m sure it is not as bad as you think. Treat them as you do your “real” friends and they too will become one.

  4. Kay

    July 20, 2009

    The age of my visiting teachers doesn’t bother me, really, I want someoone that I can get along with and trust. I have had older ones, younger ones, and ones my age. It is caring and trust that do it for me. There are some that I would never contact in a million years no matter what was going on in my life. To be honest it takes a lot for me to confide in people other than close friends anyway or to ask for help from others. I will accept it when offered though if they see a need. I once had a wonderful visiting teacher who came by when my children were young and promptly started doing a bit of cleaning, my house was not a tip but not up to my usual standard and so she helped. I did not mind a bit because she was lovely and I knew she genuinely cared.

    As a visiting teacher I try to be mindful of their needs but not in their faces. Some people are more private and that needs to be respected. My current partner and I have been together for over 5 years and there are 15 years in age between us. I love her so much, we have become close friends and both gained so much being together. She moves in a few weeks and I cannot imagine going teaching without her.

    I really don’t think it is an age thing. Having been on the R.S. presidency I know how much work goes into organising visiting teaching, and how many things are taken into consideration. We can never fully know how effective we are, how we have touched others lives, how much we are cared for. We are asked to love and serve and it will not be easy sometimes.

  5. ZD Eve

    July 20, 2009

    One of my favorite visiting-teaching companions was a woman in her eighties (I was in my twenties). I’d go pick her up, since she could no longer drive, and we’d go visit a couple of women in their fifties. Sometimes they drove me slightly crazy–one in particular had some unalterable and frequently repeated opinions on vitamins from Japan, as I recall–but in general it was great to hear about their experiences and their lives. On the other hand, while I benefited a great deal, I don’t know that I benefited them much.

    As a general rule I have a much harder time with younger visiting teachers and teachees than I do with older ones. I was in a group with

  6. Melissa M.

    July 20, 2009

    Emily, I have struggled with the same questions. I was VT coordinator for several years, released last November, so I was able to be behind the scenes and see how VT assignments are made. While the RS president does prayerfully consider the VT assignments, sometimes it’s a matter of trying to put together a competent list that most people can live with. A sister moves in and one moves out, so the natural place for the new sister is in the old sister’s spot. Also, RS presidents aren’t mind readers and sometimes (often) need to be clued into sisters’ needs. I’d venture to say that not every VT assignment is inspired (but please don’t quote me on that).

    That said, I’ve tried to make my VT assignments work, because I think that’s part of the RS’ goal of fostering sisterhood. I currently visit teach two elderly ladies who are 30+ years older than I am, and my life has been deeply enriched by my relationship with them. And, as I’ve tried to care for them and take care of their needs, they have grown to love me like a daughter. I wouldn’t have had these rich relationships if I hadn’t been assigned as their visiting teacher.

    Still, when we’re in the thick of raising children, sometimes we can better relate to women who are close to our own age and stage of childrearing. If you truly feel that the sisters you visit teach would be better served by being taught by someone closer to their ages, speak to the VT pres. She would probably appreciate the input.

  7. ZD Eve

    July 20, 2009

    (sorry for the abrupt termination–my daughter finally got her hands on the keyboard as she’s been longing to do for weeks)

    As I was saying….I was in a group last fall with a couple of women in their early twenties. They drove me crazy. All they wanted to do was talk about their hair and romance novels and gossip. Give me the cranky old ladies any day of the week.

  8. Merry Michelle

    July 20, 2009

    Amen to Sandi and Kay.

    My companion is 10 years older than me, the one of women we teach is 20 years older than me, and one of the women that teaches me is 30 years older than me. But I feel genuine love and care for and from all these women. I can honestly say I’ve never felt better matched up or more cared for and loved. I can (and do)literally tell them EVERYTHING.

    There have been times that I haven’t felt particularly close the the women I teach or was taught by–so go easy on yourself. Give yourself some time to grow close to them. Build on your similarities.

  9. Kristin

    July 20, 2009

    One of my dearest friends in the city we lived in while my husband was in law school was an “assigned” older friend (with kids just older than I am) through visiting teaching.

    How I valued her friendship! It took some time, but after some months of regular visits, and a few unexpected ones (ie I took cake to an early morning meeting I knew she would be attending on her birthday), she opened up to me one day about some depression issues with a family member. At first I felt a little overwhelmed, because I didn’t know what to say or how to help. But I also felt honored that she would share her sorrows with me. I don’t feel like I ever had real answers, but I had support and love and a listening ear, and that is what she needed. I prayed for her, and made her aware of my thoughts and prayers.

    I learned a lot from her, and really admire her faithfulness, kindness, and sense of humor. Occasionally I still email her just to check in. I am so grateful that visiting teaching brought us together, because we wouldn’t have developed such a friendship without it.

    We don’t have to be divided by our life experiences unless we choose to be. I find that there are just as many divisions for me with those my own age who see the world differently than I do, or those who are experiences trials I can’t identify with.

    If we pray for the sisters we teach-pray for charity towards them, inspiration in serving them, and for their specific needs as we learn of them, we can experience deep meaningful friendships, regardless of age, marital status, motherhood status, personality or otherwise.

    I do not think it is just you who feels the way you do, but I would encourage you to focus more on what you have in common with your sisters than on what you don’t.

    Thanks for sharing your feelings about this.

  10. traci

    July 20, 2009

    Struggle is not unwillingness – it is progress evidence!

    I come from a family w/lots of OLD LADIES! I am very proud of that – and i love them so. But do they “get” from me? You will never know. And if one of them ends up in the hospital etc, the chance that they will tell their fears to you, instead of worrying their children, I would bet on. Don’t give up. One thing I have learned about older women, the longer we live, the less we feel we need, we deal w/it as it comes up.

    The younger girls – sometimes I really have trouble here, for the reasons mentioned – talk of hair, fashion, nails etc – but then, – they are OLD LADIES in the making.

    The women I quilt with are at least 20 – 30 years older than me. I don’t think they wanted me in the beginning. But they were the Honorary Matrons of Honor for my wedding, the 1st I told of my engagement and who I want to see most – and the 1st to “view” my husband when he was my “tobe”.

    Now I find I am also the one some of them trust to tell them if their mind is slipping, their blouse is on backwards from bad eyesight etc etc etc – that took time and prayer – don’t give up on them or yourself – you are doing fine!

  11. Peyton

    July 20, 2009

    Personally, Emily, I am totally with you. I find I have to work a lot harder to connect with them, or to even come up with small talk–which isn’t to say it’s not possible or worthwhile or that you both can’t get as much out of the relationship eventually, but it is a lot easier to relate to someone your own age/stage of life. I think it also depends a lot on the personalities you are teaching or teaching with.

    One of the sisters I teach is a wonderful, lovely woman my mother’s age. She’s easy to talk to and fun to be around, but at times I wonder what kind of problems she’s facing that she isn’t sharing with me–I know she worries about her son who has left the Church, and that she misses her family on the other side of the country; occasionally her comments in RS show that, but other than occasional, matter-of-fact statements to that affect during our visits, she never talks about those things more than that. We have a very easy, light friendship, and visiting her really is a pleasure and doesn’t feel like a duty, but I wonder if she couldn’t get more out of a relationship with someone like my mom, who has kids off at college and a son who has decided not to go on a mission and so forth.

  12. Emily M.

    July 20, 2009

    Peyton, yes, that is what I mean. I LOVE the women in my ward, including and especially the sisters I visit. But I have a mother-daughter relationship with many of them. They are cute with my kids and family, and soooo kind to us whenever we have a crisis. But that’s different from opening up enough to allow me to serve them in real ways.

    I want to make it clear here that I ABSOLUTELY value the friendship and association of women who are older than me. And younger than me. I love the sisterhood I experience in my ward. I am sorry if that did not come across in the original post.

    What I’m saying is that valuing association with a sister older than me is very different from being allowed to serve that sister in a truly meaningful, non-superficial way. It’s something I’m still working on, even with my own mom, who does much more on my behalf than I do for her.

  13. Carol

    July 20, 2009

    I am nearing retirement age, my companion is a newly-married young woman and we visit a middle-aged woman whose husband is dying of colon cancer, another middle-aged woman, and three elderly women in their nineties in a retirement center.

    I absolutely love my companion. She is wise beyond her years, sensitive to needs, and compassionate. I adore every women we visit. I learn so much from each of them, and hopefully they feel very loved and cherished.

    As a former RS president (twice), I can say that if your companionship isn’t working out, you need to let the RS president know. Also, if you are visiting sisters who you can’t love well–after fasting, praying, going to the temple, etc.–let your RS president know, too. Ideally, the presidency would visit with you quarterly to see how things are going for you. (In our current ward, that doesn’t happen.)

    Whenever there was a problem with companionships or sisters visited, I prayerfully made changes when I was a president, and it worked out better for everything involved. Was it easy to do? Absolutely not! Was it worth it? Yes.

  14. Lilola

    July 20, 2009

    One of the things I love about the church is that I have friends of all ages. Certainly the sisters my age, sixtyish, have more current issues in common. But the younger sisters are so sweet and earnest and enthusiastic. The sisters even older than me (there are some LOL)are sweet and caring and understanding. I’ve travelled to the temple with them, to TOFW, worked on service projects and ward activities.
    You are making a difference in their lives, even though you may not recognize it. A faithful visiting teacher, even at the end of the month, is a tremendous blessing. Not everyone is as faithful.
    They are your sisters, enjoy!

  15. Jennie

    July 20, 2009

    It’s not always about making a heart-to-heart connection. I visiting taught a woman a few years ago who was 40 years older than me. She loved to have someone to tell her stories to. I helped her get a 72-hour kit together for her and her invalid husband. We made copies of all their emergency numbers and lists of medications so they’d have all that handy in case of an emergency. I’m pretty sure she wouldn’t have done that on her own. I felt like a helped make a difference even though we never once had a heart-on-the-sleeve conversation.

  16. ZD Eve

    July 20, 2009

    Really good point, Jennie. Sometimes what we have to offer each other may be more in the practical vein. Come to think of it, it’s probably far more likely that we’ll be able to offer each other practical help than emotional support, given the vagaries of personality (Personally, I tend to be reserved and somewhat prickly at times, so I’m not going to confide in most people). But thinking in terms of practical assistance makes me feel much more optimistic that I can offer my VTers something, and that they can offer me something.

  17. Paula

    July 21, 2009

    My random thoughts too too late at night: The age of a sister should never be an issue. And when you asked if it was a cop out, I nodded my head. Sorry if that offends.

    Also, in defense of RS presidencies, setting up VT routes is a neverending task. Visiting Teaching is so difficult to coordinate.

    Advice time: Step back and look at the bigger picture here. Visiting and Home Teaching are how the bishop learns about the welfare of ward members.

    I don’t think your worries over offering true service are spot on. Sure, many sisters who have visiting teachers will call on them for help when they need it. But if someone doesn’t ask for help, it could be that they are dealing with it in private or that a good firend was there for them (are those bad things?).

    In the same way commenters are talking about forced versus real VT friendships, consider the idea that there is forced versus real VT service. Does my visiting teacher drop off plates of cookies/cupcakes/candy at random times throughout the year, yes. Did I NEED plates of sugary treats, no! I’m not saying gestures of service shouldn’t be appreciated. In my book, having a good gospel discussion is much more appreciated than a plate of sugary treats.

    How am I not asleep yet? One more thing to remember. The sisters we visit are God’s children. We have that in common with all sisters in our wards, young and old.

  18. Sage

    July 21, 2009

    Paula, I am so with you about gospel discussion over plate of sugar. I almost never bring treats and don’t feel that is part of my job as a vter, but have even heard some sister describe the vt job as bringing a treat monthly! So many completely skip giving the message (at least when I was RS pres and vt super I knew that). That is unfortunate, I think.

    I have had a hard time vting lately. In my ward, distance is a problem. And, like many, getTing schedules to match up is hard. My companion works full-time and is somewhat less-active. I hope by thinking about this post I will get motivated to be a better vter. Thanks!

  19. m&m

    July 21, 2009

    I’m thinking about my experiences, and I think the personalities and the specific lives of the women involved have had more impact than the age. Sometimes, I think some women are more open by nature and thus, can be easier to serve, so the age difference may not matter so much.

    That said, I can see how sometimes age could add another layer (inexperience can feel like incompetence), but even if you can’t relate to all their life experiences, you have wisdom and faith to share. I think that is part of why we have the gospel messages at the core of our visits…the Spirit doesn’t care about age, and the principles can transcend those differences.

    But, you know, sometimes the chemistry just isn’t there, and maybe that is a little of what is going on…maybe a combo of age, personality, etc.?

    Hang in there. When VT works, it’s awesome. When it’s hard, it’s really hard! 🙂

  20. Emily M.

    July 21, 2009

    Lilola, thanks so much for your vote of confidence. Visiting teaching is very important to me; I do not miss a month often, and I try to do extra things as well, to go to the next level. I think that’s why I feel challenged here. Taking it to the level beyond the monthly visit is harder for me here. I do hope that I can find ways to help and bless the sisters I visit more effectively.

    Jennie, you are practical as always, and right on.

    m&m, I think you are right about how personalities and specific lives have more impact than age. I don’t feel so much like I’m hanging in there, though, just trying to figure out how to be of more use to these women I respect.

    Another note of clarification: I’m not criticizing the inspiration that put me in my current assignment; I think it was wise for a many easons beyond what I’m discussing here. I have actually never asked for my VT assignment to be changed, ever. I just go and do and make it work. I know my RS pres puts a lot of time and prayer into visiting teaching, and I’m not planning on asking to be changed anytime soon. That goes for my companionship too.

    I’ve been thinking about this a lot; your comments have given me good food for thought. This sounds cheesy, but I would like to do some kind of… questionnaire, almost. Like “tell me who your favorite visiting teachers were and why? what did they do to make you feel loved?” and “what kind of treats do you like for special occasions?” (that would be a helpful thing for me, since I’m perpetually dieting and prefer not to be given anything to tempt me). I feel like everyone has certain preferences and expectations for their visiting teachers, but those aren’t always expressed.

    I don’t think I’ll do anything formal. But I am going to try to figure out ways to be more in tune with what my sisters’ needs are.

  21. Johnna

    July 21, 2009

    Your post really surprised me, because I’ve rarely taught or been visit taught by someone my own age, so I’ve never considered it would be a problem. (when I may have been causing a problem for someone else. hmmm.) We’ve lived lots of places where anyone available to be friends with was at least ten years off from me in age. I enjoy the company of people who are ahead of me in life, and I less judged when sharing my concerns with them.

    I’m always impressed with the high visiting teacher standards you hold yourself to, Emily.

  22. ZD Eve

    July 21, 2009

    Like “tell me who your favorite visiting teachers were and why? what did they do to make you feel loved?” and “what kind of treats do you like for special occasions?”

    These are such great questions. I’d love to see a whole thread on this because I’d love to see what everyone would say.

    As I think about it, I’m realizing I’m generally more comfortable visiting-teaching than being visit-taught. I feel awkward being on the receiving end–somehow it’s unnerving to have two strangers sitting on my couch asking me how they can help me, although I know it’s all sincere and well-meant. I find the message especially awkward, particularly when someone just reads it to me. I do see the point of it, but I’ve rarely–if ever–felt that it worked very well in practice. Maybe because I’m a private person, I prefer to know someone quite well before I venture into conversation about personal spiritual things.

    I don’t like it when my VTers gossip, or talk to each other about what they have in common and leave me out of the conversation (I’m sure we’ve all had such experiences.) I don’t like it when the visit stretches out too long. An hour is theabsolute maximum, I think, and it really should be shorter than that, unless there are unusual circumstances.

    In my experience VTing works best when I’m with the same people long enough to develop a relationship. The first visit or two is always awkward, but it often improves drastically over time, as we get comfortable with each other. So maybe the thing I value the most is the simple consistency that permits a relationship to develop. And it sounds as if you’re doing an excellent job on that.

  23. FoxyJ

    July 21, 2009

    I am also a lot more comfortable teaching than being taught. I’ve also never brought treats to people (usually too busy or worried about their dietary needs) and struggle with how to do things beyond a monthly visit and message. I guess I have also never really expected visiting teaching to automatically mean a close friendship. Sometimes things ‘click’ and we become good friends, other times they don’t. Sometimes this is facilitated by similar ages and life circumstances, but I’ve become good friends with visiting teachers who were much older than me or in very different circumstances. Anyways, those are just some of my thoughts; it’s been good to read this discussion and hear the thoughts and experiences of others. Like others have said, more than anything we need time and consistency to allow relationships to develop with others. In my last few wards people tended to be transient and they often changed visiting teaching around a lot. I wish I had had more time to really develop good relationships with some of the people I was assigned to.

  24. jks

    July 21, 2009

    I completely understand.
    I think you will find things might change if you go ahead and treat them like a peer…..which means you go ahead and say to them what you would be willing to say to a peer about them.
    “I feel a little intimidated being your visiting teacher. I wish that I could be a support to you but you are in a different stage of life that I don’t know about yet. If you were a mom with a new baby, I’d know what you were going through, you know? So, I hope that I’m not a lousy VT just because I don’t have a clue what you might need.”
    Many things put up barriers because it makes people feel different. Age, race, culture, religion. It takes effort to tear down the wall that you feel like separates you and start to feel like you can really connect.Keep trying!

  25. Angie

    July 21, 2009

    Many of the older sisters I have visit taught have “mothered” me, and I love that. I think we become real friends when we move out of the assigned heirarchy and use the opportunity to connect in real ways. Just one example: a wonderful sister who brought me many meals during a difficult pregnancy and invited me over for back rubs and girl time when she could see I was overwhelmed shared that she also felt very loved when my daughter helped her get her mail and I came over to help her with her dogs. She called me for advice on how to entertain visiting children, and I was able to share some books and toys with her. I probably would never have become her friend if I had not been assigned to her. We were are at different life stages, and I honestly find her experience and intelligence a little intimidating. But my life is so much richer because we are friends.

  26. Jennifer

    July 22, 2009

    I will forever be thankful for a Visiting Teacher who was assigned to me over a year ago. She has children about my age. On her first visit she brought a list of get-to-know you questions. She wrote down all my answers. She brought me a bag of her favorite treats and then the next month she brought my favorite cookies. It was probably the month after that when my eight year old son was diagnosed with cancer. She brought gifts for my son. She arranged childcare while I was at the hospital. She organized sisters to come clean my house before I could bring my immuno-suppressive child back home. Every week she’d call with questions regarding how she could help. She made me feel comfortable enough to tell her that I don’t usually ask for help.

    I have expressed my gratitude for her service and for her example as a Visiting Teacher. Her companion was unable to come with her. She came every month on her own. After one of my comments in a Relief Society lesson, the former Relief Society President pulled me aside. “Did I ever tell you the story about how she became your Visiting Teacher?” She continued to explain that she was trying to match me up with another sister closer to my age, but this sister’s name kept coming to her mind. She kept trying to rearrange the assignments. Finally, she surrendered to the prompting not knowing what would come.

    Turns out that her experience with compassionate service was exactly what I needed. We’ve since had time to talk about all the things we have in common – like choosing the same salad and dessert at Mimi’s Cafe.

    The Visiting Teaching program has once again blessed me with one of my dearest friends.

  27. m&m

    July 22, 2009

    Emily, I’m glad you’re not in ‘hang in there’ mode. I, too, think it’s great that you care so much about this. This program really matters, and I appreciate the chance to think about how I can be better, too.

    In response to your question — I love VTers who are willing to chat for a bit, rather than just get the message over and done, check. (I know some prefer a quick visit!) I really hate it when it feels like a checklist item or chore. My current visiting teachers make me giddy. We chat, we laugh, we commiserate, and we rejoice in the Spirit together, too. Their hearts are open and loving. They are real with me — willing to admit faults so I can talk about mine without wanting to hide. I feel they really care about me. And I feel like they enjoy visiting with me.

    (They just came today, so my feelings about them are fresh.)

    One other thought — I have come to feel very strongly that visiting teaching requires not only an open, loving heart of the VTers, but also of those who are visited. If we don’t make a choice to let people into our hearts a bit, they can’t really serve us well. That said, though, I appreciate so much those who make it easier for me to be vulnerable by opening up themselves.

    (Case in point: today we talked about housework and how sometimes it just doesn’t get done. And about spacey brains. And about being imperfect mothers. Good times.)

  28. Kay

    July 22, 2009

    Treats!!! I love treats but I think we do them far less in England than in the states. I am always totally surprised if I ever get treats, and we are not even talking once a year here folks, so no they are not expected at all, ever. I love any kind, especially chocolate related, but then they are so rare I am so grateful that someone went the extra mile. I do take them myself but not every month, they can be a variety of things depending on what I am feeling like, cakes, jam, candles, flowers, books etc.

    I have had 2 favourite visiting teachers. Sheila who would see a need and help whenever, and I never once felt awful that she thought my house was dirty or anything like that, someoone else could easily have got it wrong and offended me. I just knew she never came to judge. Also Becky, who is 15 years younger than me. She was my visiting teacher for about a year before we became partners for the last 5 years. She is one of those few people that just radiate happiness and goodness. You can tell she genuinely cares and is not just there for figures. As partners we have put the world to rights by sitting in the car on many occasions and crying sorting out our own lives before we go in to see the sisters. Some people just become friends and not partners or visiting teachers, and some friends become true, close sisters of the heart. Why? Who know, but without an inspired person putting us together in the first place it may never have happened.

  29. Faith.Not.Fear

    July 22, 2009

    I can’t tell you how grateful I am for my VTers, VTing Comp :-), and the amazing women we have visited. The age span has covered about 40 years, top to bottom. But when we’ve been together, the years melt away, and the Spirit has answered unspoken prayers time and time again. We’ve been strengthened and uplifted; hopefully those we teach have been, too.

  30. natalie

    July 23, 2009

    So I’ve never been visiting taught in our ward — it’s been two years. And man, I really could have used a friend that first year. I would always want to leave church after Sunday School. Now, I’m in YW, so I have a group of women and a purpose.

    But I VT a spunky 68 year old woman, with a girl who grew up in the ward – and is now in her late 20s. Everytime we go, they just chat and chat about people I have no idea about. But I hope I’m doing some good! Maybe its good because my partner and her talk? I don’t know.

    I think VT is a good program though. Forced mingling

  31. Nanette

    July 29, 2009

    Before we moved, we lived in a ward that was half newly-weds and half retired folk. Honestly, if I hadn’t been assigned to teach the older ladies, I never would’ve tried to get to know them. I naturally gravitate towards the gals with kids my age.

    We were challenged to VT the way we’d want to be VT. For me, that meant lots of chatting…and then rounding it out with the heartfelt discussion at the end.

    I didn’t know I could be friends with someone so old. What could we possibly have in common? But I just listened. I heard wonderful stories and shared my own. Then at church, the older gals would say hello and wisk away my little baby to play with.

    Go enjoy it.

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