We were challenged to VT the way we’d want to be VT. For me, that meant lots of chatting…and then rounding it out with the heartfelt discussion at the end.

I didn’t know I could be friends with someone so old. What could we possibly have in common? But I just listened. I heard wonderful stories and shared my own. Then at church, the older gals would say hello and wisk away my little baby to play with.

Go enjoy it.

But I VT a spunky 68 year old woman, with a girl who grew up in the ward – and is now in her late 20s. Everytime we go, they just chat and chat about people I have no idea about. But I hope I’m doing some good! Maybe its good because my partner and her talk? I don’t know.

I think VT is a good program though. Forced mingling

I have had 2 favourite visiting teachers. Sheila who would see a need and help whenever, and I never once felt awful that she thought my house was dirty or anything like that, someoone else could easily have got it wrong and offended me. I just knew she never came to judge. Also Becky, who is 15 years younger than me. She was my visiting teacher for about a year before we became partners for the last 5 years. She is one of those few people that just radiate happiness and goodness. You can tell she genuinely cares and is not just there for figures. As partners we have put the world to rights by sitting in the car on many occasions and crying sorting out our own lives before we go in to see the sisters. Some people just become friends and not partners or visiting teachers, and some friends become true, close sisters of the heart. Why? Who know, but without an inspired person putting us together in the first place it may never have happened.

In response to your question — I love VTers who are willing to chat for a bit, rather than just get the message over and done, check. (I know some prefer a quick visit!) I really hate it when it feels like a checklist item or chore. My current visiting teachers make me giddy. We chat, we laugh, we commiserate, and we rejoice in the Spirit together, too. Their hearts are open and loving. They are real with me — willing to admit faults so I can talk about mine without wanting to hide. I feel they really care about me. And I feel like they enjoy visiting with me.

(They just came today, so my feelings about them are fresh.)

One other thought — I have come to feel very strongly that visiting teaching requires not only an open, loving heart of the VTers, but also of those who are visited. If we don’t make a choice to let people into our hearts a bit, they can’t really serve us well. That said, though, I appreciate so much those who make it easier for me to be vulnerable by opening up themselves.

(Case in point: today we talked about housework and how sometimes it just doesn’t get done. And about spacey brains. And about being imperfect mothers. Good times.)

I have expressed my gratitude for her service and for her example as a Visiting Teacher. Her companion was unable to come with her. She came every month on her own. After one of my comments in a Relief Society lesson, the former Relief Society President pulled me aside. “Did I ever tell you the story about how she became your Visiting Teacher?” She continued to explain that she was trying to match me up with another sister closer to my age, but this sister’s name kept coming to her mind. She kept trying to rearrange the assignments. Finally, she surrendered to the prompting not knowing what would come.

Turns out that her experience with compassionate service was exactly what I needed. We’ve since had time to talk about all the things we have in common – like choosing the same salad and dessert at Mimi’s Cafe.

The Visiting Teaching program has once again blessed me with one of my dearest friends.

These are such great questions. I’d love to see a whole thread on this because I’d love to see what everyone would say.

As I think about it, I’m realizing I’m generally more comfortable visiting-teaching than being visit-taught. I feel awkward being on the receiving end–somehow it’s unnerving to have two strangers sitting on my couch asking me how they can help me, although I know it’s all sincere and well-meant. I find the message especially awkward, particularly when someone just reads it to me. I do see the point of it, but I’ve rarely–if ever–felt that it worked very well in practice. Maybe because I’m a private person, I prefer to know someone quite well before I venture into conversation about personal spiritual things.

I don’t like it when my VTers gossip, or talk to each other about what they have in common and leave me out of the conversation (I’m sure we’ve all had such experiences.) I don’t like it when the visit stretches out too long. An hour is theabsolute maximum, I think, and it really should be shorter than that, unless there are unusual circumstances.

In my experience VTing works best when I’m with the same people long enough to develop a relationship. The first visit or two is always awkward, but it often improves drastically over time, as we get comfortable with each other. So maybe the thing I value the most is the simple consistency that permits a relationship to develop. And it sounds as if you’re doing an excellent job on that.