And clear as day a voice came to me: “This spirit is going to come whether it’s through your body or not. Your worst is better than many peoples’ best. You could be saving her.”

you triggered a light bulb (a-ha!) kind of moment for me. i have been feeling done & unwilling to try for more children since our struggle to get pregnant has been long/difficult. but your comment gave me some hope. i could definitely try for more children if i thought of it as an act of service. what a different way of looking at our situation.

I just yesterday got called for the ‘leventy-umpteenth time to work with the YW (hurrah!). What I’m personally working on at the moment is discovering hidden places inside me that are holding onto wrong attitudes about my body, my abilities, my gifts, etc. It’s so important to me to learn how to pass on a legacy of strength, confidence, purity, and self-respect.

I want to write more by way of response, but my computer keeps putting itself to sleep every 15 seconds. Very annoying.

Although I have struggled with WHY I chose to take on a mortal body, I have finally come to the conclusion that I am here to be a part of HIS plan. Even though at times I secretly wish I could go abck to where I came…I balance out again and know that I am here for a reason. There are certainly “lessons” to be learned, but I am finding that sometimes I am here to “teach” the lesson.
I used to struggle with my body image…having ALWAYS been taller than everyone else (even the boys when I was a kid), having developed in the boob area quite early…(and a bit OVER developed hehe.) I was always different than everyone else. As I have gotten older the lightbulb for me has been about acceptance. I accept who I am and where I am with my body image. I don’t fret anymore that I can’t wear all the “hip” clothes or maybe be as trendy as everyone else. Frankly, it really isn’t part of my personality to be “hip and trendy”.
I feel best when I am doing the things that make me feel good…feeding my soul makes my “outside” shine!
When it comes to my precious daughter, she is beautiful and I tell her every day. She has a good sense about her body image and I a take a VERY active role in that. Her father is also quick to tell her how nice she looks or how smart she is and always finds a way to feed her “soul”
Even after having 4 C-sections and never quite getting that pre-pregnancy body back, I have accepted that it’s ok. My hubby doesn’t seem to mind and quite frankly he LIKES having something to hold onto…and Lord knows there is plenty of that going on here!!
What a great post, Jamie…thanks!

The thing that got me going here was your passage that states we were willing, “at almost any cost” to gain a body. What a gift we have. What potential for abuse our bodies place us in. But what potential for beauty and grace we also carry. And what a responsibility to honor the bodies of the children in our care, the loved ones in our lives, the people all around us.

I think I feel most beautiful when I’m around my husband. He still, after all these years, looks at me in a way that conveys his love for me. It’s not in the lustful and wanting way it was before we were married, but it’s in a calm, assured way. He looks at me, and I shine.

I also feel great when I’m being good to my body, like running, being active, not overeating, etc. I’ve never really talked to my girls about body image. We just kind of talk about being healthy. I hope that’s enough. I just hope that by not focusing on it, I’m sending a message that works. Who knows…

This was a great post, Jamie, thanks.

The only thing that helps me understand this, even a little, is knowing that they chose to come to earth.

Also, I take a little comfort in knowing that Hell Exists, and that’s the place for the people who abuse these little ones.

I had a very similar experience to yours–here’s an exerpt from a post I once wrote about it:

In our old neighborhood we lived across the street from a very depressing family. The deplorable physical condition of the yard and home was a good match for the mess of abuse and other problems that plagued the family’s relationships. I was a visiting teacher to one of the daughters in that home, a young adult who had suffered horribly over the years. One night when I made a visit, she was babysitting one of her sister’s children (it was a family tradition of sorts to bear children out of wedlock–there were a half-dozen or so living there at the time). This baby was lying on a filthy, crusty couch. He only had a diaper on. His mother was prone to disappearing for days at a time, leaving him in the care of her younger siblings, who were none too pleased to have the responsibility thrust upon them. Needless to say, the baby and the other “cousins” were not well-treated.

He was a gorgeous child–half Latino, with olive skin and huge, deep-deep brown eyes and long lashes. He stood out like a sparkling jewel amidst the squalor of his surroundings.

When I was home again I thought about the future that awaited him. My heart hurt so much I didn’t think I could bear it. I just couldn’t reconcile his perfect, holy little self with the circumstances he had been placed within. How could this be okay?

The answer came, clearly and firmly: He chose to come.

I’ve never felt strong and Goddesslike in my life.

Bill giving me the diamond for our 25 anniversary (my first diamond)made me feel more cherished and valuable. I’ve always hated myself (which I’m working on guys, yesterday I said, “hey I like myself” but it could have been the drugs) and I subtly conveyed to my daughters that they were less than. Long story. I hate myself for that now LOL.

But since March, when I got the diamond, I tell them differently. I tell them they are girls, they deserve girl stuff, they deserve to be put on a pedestal. Preaching a whole new tune I never understood before and only understand through a glass darkly now. And they’re listening. It’s sad how they’re listening.

Fat/skinny, my kids don’t seem to focus on that much, mostly because THEY HAVE PERFECT BODIES. Jessie, 6′ tall, 130 lbs of sheer muscle, good boobs, tan. Sarah, 5’7″, 118 lbs, perfect. I do think, though, that I made a lot of their physical beauty, not because I value that beauty, but because they are truly beautiful, stunning girls. Sarah keeps in in perspective, knows outside matters less. Jessie, though, her self esteem is a lot on how pretty she is, not all her other stellar qualities.

I was sort of that way, when I was cute and single, I wondered why I wasn’t the most popular girl in Special Interest. I was the cutest. But I was screwed up in myriads of ways and my boyfriends went after girls much less attractive. No lie, I got dumped for woman who look like me now.

A year or so ago I bought some slim fast (I am the short fat one in the family, you should see those family pictures) and Sarah saw it and said, “Mom, I don’t want you to go on a diet, I love to hug my chubby little Mommy.” Mixed emotions with that one LOL.