Train ride

Posted by Shelah | February 8, 2010 | 20 Comments

On Friday, my five-year-old had an appointment at the children’s hospital. His orthopedist tends to run behind, so I cleared our schedule for the whole morning. We have a few rituals that come with going to the orthopedist: the kids always want a donut and a can of grape juice from the hospital cafeteria, and they always beg me to take a ride on the train, and I always tell them no. This week, since I knew it would be fruitless to try to rush back for preschool and playgroup, I asked the kids if they wanted to take the train to the doctor.

It takes us about 15 minutes to drive to the hospital. When I drive, I know that I should leave the house at 9:15 for a 9:45 appointment, which gives me plenty of time to grumble at the traffic, park the van and get the kids up to the fourth floor. To take the train, we left the house at 8:25. The hospital is seven miles north of my house. To get to the train, we had to drive seven miles west, then take the train seven miles north and seven miles east. Conservators of natural resources we were not. On the platform, I spent five minutes trying to figure out how to use the ticket machine, nervous because I had barely enough cash to buy the tickets (“credit card reader coming soon” doesn’t help much when you only have four bucks in your pocket). Then I almost herded my little group onto the wrong train. Once we got on the right train, it was jammed with commuters. My three-year-old sat, the five-year-old and I stood nearby. When I drive my car, I strap the kids into their car seats and adjust the heat, the mirrors and even the music to my liking.

When we take the van, it’s just us. There are no homeless men muttering to themselves, no young moms talking to their new-found friends about the tie they share– their husbands are both in prison, no college students engaged in very public displays of affection. I never feel like I should zip up the purse sitting at my feet and clutch it on my lap, never worry about the germs we’re getting exposed to as our hands grip the poles.

I can’t control how quickly the doctor gets through her patients, but when I drive, it really doesn’t matter, my van is waiting for me in the parking lot whenever we finish. With trains coming only every 30 minutes, I tapped my foot impatiently as I watched two successive trains leave while we sat in the exam room. She came into the room just as we watched a train pull out, and after she spent two minutes with us, we were back in the hall of the hospital, with 28 minutes to fill before the next departure.

If we’d taken the van, the trip would have taken a lot less time and cost us less money. By the time we got home, I was exhausted, and rattled. It dawned on me how sheltered I’d become if some homeless guys, a short wait, and a struggle with a machine could throw me. It wasn’t so long ago that I was a college student living in London and relying on the train, the tube and the bus system for all of my transportation. These days, I think I’m an adult and fully in control of my surroundings, but something as simple as a train ride shows me that my arena of control is pretty small. And I’m pretty lucky to have my minivan. Most of the people on the train on Friday morning weren’t there for their kids’ recreational experience– they were there because it was the best way for them to get from one place to another.

As for the kids, they thought it was great. They’ve already asked if we can take the train the next time we go to the doctor.

Category: Daily Special

Comments

20 Responses to “Train ride”

traci
February 8th, 2010 @ 7:06 am

What a fun post! I used to live in a bi city where there were buses. I had never ridden anything but a school bus before. It took me forever! to figure out the routes etc, but soon, it was my favorite mode of transportation. The assembly did freak me out at 1st, but the mor you ride, the more you find that the same people are on and you get to know them – and they aren’t so much different than you!
I’m back in my birth town now and we barely have a bus system. I think it is sad. I miss riding the bus. When i went to Hawaii I wanted some local flavor – so I rode their bus system. It was awesome! People spoke!

One of my best friends now in her 70’s said she never had enough for a car, car insurance and took her boys everywhere on the bus – school, library, museums and even church – the busses used to go on Sunday at least till about 1 or 2 for church goers.

I think it is sad we don’t have more of public transportation – i believe it builds community, is green thinking and slows down our lives.
anon
February 8th, 2010 @ 8:56 am

Awesome post. I was thinking about this sheltered subject last week, as I left my relatively homogenous home to visit family in a more diverse city. Stopping at a WalMart for OTC meds, alone, at 8:30 on a Friday night, with more ethnic people around me than I see in a year, found me clutching my purse a little tighter than usual, walking strong, etc.

I was aware of my nervousnes, and embarrassed. I actually crave more diversity. I reflected how it was the unfamiliarity of it that lent to the fear–nothing rational.

I left with a desire to relocate, to give my children a chance to experience greater diversity and get me out of my strange comfort zone. Maybe I should take the but and train every so often in the mean time.
anon
February 8th, 2010 @ 8:57 am

oops–take the BUS not the “but.”
Emily M.
February 8th, 2010 @ 11:03 am

This made me remember bus rides on my mission… and realize that I am insulated from needing to ride the bus now. I’m sure my kids would love a train ride like that. Yours are lucky.
Sue
February 8th, 2010 @ 11:12 am

When my husband and I were first married, we lived in Chicago. Both of us took an elevated train to work every day. In fact, our car was hardly ever driven!

I liked taking the train. I used to grab a newspaper at the corner store (and sometimes a cinnamon roll), take a seat (when one was available…), and enjoy the ride. One cool thing about Chicago…Those trains ran through every neighborhood, and I only had to walk half a block from home to train and about the same from train to work.

It was great. So thanks for the memories. Now I’ll be waxing nostalgic all morning!

=)
Melissa
February 8th, 2010 @ 12:19 pm

What a fun mom you were! Your kids will remember that train ride years from now.
Course Correction
February 8th, 2010 @ 12:26 pm

Public transportation does take more time,but as your post shows, it provides great material for writing.

Try it in a few years when you don’t have to take small children with you and you might enjoy the tranquility of watching the scenery or checking out the Bloggernacle while somebody else drives.
amelia bedelia
February 8th, 2010 @ 1:16 pm

When we lived in a large city, I too would sometimes take the kids on the bus or metro just for the experience. With three year old and a baby, I too found it exhausting. When you have just yourself, it’s one thing, but when you are out of your element and trying to keep little ones safe too, it’s mentally and physically exhausting. Now that I have three kids, I think I’ll wait a few more years
Giggles
February 8th, 2010 @ 2:03 pm

I didn’t own a car till a year after graduating from college, so I took the bus everywhere. Now I have a car, but I drive it to a park-and-ride and still take the bus in to work/school.

It takes 2-3 times longer to take the bus than it does to drive, and I have to plan when I come and go a lot more. But it saves on gas. It saves on parking (which is absolutely insane). And it gives me more time to read, which I love. I actually read more when school’s on than during vacation when I never find time (read that as “make time”) to sit down and read.

And at least once a week there’s some strange person who gets on who just turns into a perfect “unbelievable” story or blog post later.
martha
February 8th, 2010 @ 2:30 pm

We just got back from a trip to Central America, where public transportation was an absolute breeze because everyone uses it. It’s a shame we’re so addicted to our cars as Americans in suburbia that we miss the delightful experience of rubbing shoulders with humanity every day. I, like you, tried recently doing public transportation with my kids and some of their friends on our way to the Children’s Museum. It was fun, crazy, took forever, and we all loved it. We met people and saw sights we would have missed otherwise. I wish I could say I’ve done it more since then, but the convenience of my car keeps me from doing it most of the time.

We have also tried the one-car plan as suburbanites, with Dad riding his bike to work sometimes, while I rode bikes with the kids to school with the toddler in the bike trailer. My life was simpler in so many ways in those days—I shopped less, spent less, and enjoyed finding things to do within biking distance. My exercise was built in to my life too, which I loved. But church callings and a new job made it necessary to get that second car, and I’m still sad about the surrender to American suburban life.
Selwyn
February 8th, 2010 @ 3:37 pm

Public transport isn’t as huge or connected in Australia as it is overseas, but it sure does make kids excited. I took my sons for a train trip into the city when they were little, and they loved it (while I stressed over the ‘grown up’ concerns mostly, but did eventually relax enough to enjoy their enjoyment!)

What was your answer to their wanting to go via train to the doctor?
Mom
February 8th, 2010 @ 3:42 pm

Your dad took the train for years into New York from Connecticut for his job in the big city. Later he also commuted by train into Chicago from a western suburb. He loved having the time to read, work, and sometimes play cards to unwind from a long day. You may not recall one wintery evening when he fell asleep on the train and missed his Connecticut stop – he woke up at the end of the line! It was in those years before cell phones and I drove with all you kids in a near blizzard to the station to pick him up. We spent more than an hour and a half ping-ponging between two stations trying to figure out what happened to Dad! I eventually gave up and drove home only to have him call from the station to explain. I suggested that he walk home! I was teased for years by the neighbor who happened to be driving by, and finding him slogging through the drifting snow, offered him a ride home.

Also – you may recall your own childhood forays into the world of commuter trains – like you, we mostly drove when we went into the big city, but ‘for fun’ and to save on parking fees, we would take the New York subways from one place to another during our day trips. From time to time, it was embarrassing to watch our three kids swinging around the poles and whooping wide-eyed as the trains raced through the dark underground tunnels to our destination. I think all the regulars knew we were the ‘irregulars’, but it was fun any way.
Melissa M.
February 8th, 2010 @ 3:46 pm

What is it about trains? When I was seven I loved riding the train every morning to school and back while we lived with my grandmother (in Australia). It amazes me now to think that my mom sent me off every morning to the train station, all by myself, but those were different times, I suppose. I enjoyed the 20-minute train rides down the mountain every morning, and I loved ambling home every afternoon from the train station while I listened to the birds calling in the bush. I think I must have been more adventurous then. Having children definitely made me more cautious and reticent to attempt outings—maybe because the complicated logistics of maneuvering through town with toddlers and babies seemed overwhelming; maybe because I felt responsible for and protective of the little people in my care. So I became much more of a homebody. But my children remember the little outings we went on and the things we did that were outside of our normal routine. And yours will remember that train ride. =)
Shelah
February 8th, 2010 @ 3:55 pm

It’s funny that my mom commented, followed by Melissa, because the two comments reminded me that I was neither always so sheltered nor so nervous. The summer I was 12, my friend Emily and I took the train two towns away (I wasn’t seven, but still pretty young), through a big city, to our dance class. We rode over in the morning, danced for hours, wandered the city for a while, then hopped the commuter back home late in the afternoon. When I was 15, my parents went to the DC temple and put me in charge of taking my 11 year-old brother and 7 year-old sister into the city to go to the Smithsonian. And I had countless trips into the city (including a New Year’s Eve at Times Square) when I was a teenager. I’m just getting old and fearful, or else the kids have done me in.
Lupita
February 8th, 2010 @ 5:45 pm

For me, it’s the time element. Maybe I’m just showing my control freakiness but, out of all the things that I can’t control, I want to be able to strap my kids in and come and go when I please. Once you’re out of practice, public transportation does seem like more of a hassle.
Kathryn Soper
February 8th, 2010 @ 7:28 pm

Lupita! Either you haven’t been commenting much lately, or I keep missing you somehow. Fun to hear from you.
Cissy
February 8th, 2010 @ 9:33 pm

If we even take the city bus somewhere, we call it a field trip. Then I feel like we did something educational–”Today, we’re learning about transportation and community helpers, kids!” So, really, you may have been just going to the doctor, but think of the spin you could put on that!
Melinda
February 8th, 2010 @ 10:03 pm

I went out of my way to take public transportation or just walk places when I was in college and grad school and then working full-time. It was relaxing to be able to sit and read, or watch the scenery. And I liked knowing that the schedule was mostly out of my hands – I would get there when I got there.

Then I had children. There is no way I would take three small children on public transportation. You can’t strap them in. If one of them wants to dart away, what do you do with the other two while you chase the runaway? It’s exhausting taking three little bitty kids anywhere, even if they are all strapped into their carseats in a van.

When they’re older, we’ll venture back out to public transportation. They would love a train ride. But right now, it would wipe me out for a week to take them on the train.
Tiffany W.
February 9th, 2010 @ 9:40 am

Ah, you have made me miss public trasportation. It’s been two years since I’ve ridden a bus or a train. And honestly, I would train my van in a minute if I could start using public transportation regularly again. But alas, I live in an area where I can’t even get to the grocery store without using a car. I lived in Sweden for 5 1/2 years and for the majority of that time, we didn’t have a car, even with 4 children. We biked, took the bus and the train. We also walked a great deal. I learned more about Swedish culture from those bus trips than anything. Timing can be stressful, especially when going to a little town where the train only runs every hour. BUT, I love the freedom of being able to observe my surroundings, the people, the town, etc.

My kids loved taking public transportation. I never worried about them on the bus or on the train.
mormonhermitmom
February 9th, 2010 @ 11:31 pm

Public transportation is okay if you’re in no hurry to get anywhere and parking at the destination is slim to nonexistant. If stuff is close enough to walk to, great. Otherwise, I’m driving.