Ward Envy

Posted by Kathryn P. | May 14, 2009 | 30 Comments

ward-envy A missionary plunked out a hymn on an electronic keyboard in the cramped hotel conference room. Beata was the first speaker. She told us that her husband was out of work and she lives in a town where the Church just barely exists, but the gospel of Jesus Christ is her lifeline, the ray of light and hope in her darkness. Walter Whipple, our professor and the first mission president in Poland after the fall of the Iron Curtain, was the second speaker. Then, an elder gave a lesson from Preach My Gospel and church was over. Before departing, Beata and her husband, Cezary, invited the branch, consisting of four elders, Dr. Whipple, and the five of us BYU study abroad students, for dinner the following evening.

Surrounded by an old chain-link fence topped with rusty barbed wire, Beata’s townhouse was previously owned by a Jewish jeweler who died in Majdanek, the concentration camp on the edge of town. Beata’s two teenage sons greeted us with hugs and led us up the stairs to the small living room. Beata announced, “God made Walter Whipple to play the organ beautifully and God made Beata to cook beautifully.” Beata did cook beautifully. We sat around a coffee table where she dished up plates for everyone. Potatoes, broccoli, carrots, onions, kielbasa, and chicken slow-cooked with a succulent sauce, followed by a spectacular pound cake stacked with four or five layers of chocolate custard. Beata explained that the delicious dessert recipe was from the Polish region of Stary Sacz. I had told her on Sunday that I was studying Polish with the BYU study abroad program because my great-grandparents were born in villages near Stary Sacz, so she had thoughtfully baked the cake as a sweet gesture of sisterly love.

Beata spoke no English, so after dinner Dr. Whipple translated while Beata and I had a poignant conversation. She told us not to throw anything away when we were packing to leave Poland. She knew a very poor family with five children that could use anything, even partially used bottles of shampoo. I told her that she was a pioneer and that I was touched by her strength in being the only female member of the branch. I felt her loneliness on Sunday and I said I would always remember her. She began to weep as she shared that she was very happy right now because my roommate and I were in Lublin for five weeks, but that she would be very sad when we left; it was difficult having such a tiny branch where you don’t have the strength of other women to sustain you. She said, “Katarczyna, I don’t envy any of the material things you have in the United States. I don’t care about big houses or cars. The ONLY thing I envy is your big ward back in Utah.”

I immediately wanted to say, “No, Beata, you’re wrong. There are women in my ward who gossip, who don’t do their visiting teaching, who are so saturated with bitterness that it just oozes from every pore!” It was probably good that there was a language barrier, because it took just a second to realize that I was not just a spoiled American; I was a spoiled Mormon.

So I started thinking about all the people I loved back in my ward. I thought about Esther, the sassy and stylish ninety-five-year-old who loves genealogy as much as I do. If I have to live to be a nonagenarian, then I want to be just like Esther. She is sooooo cool. Beata would love Esther. I thought about my ward choir director, a vocal coach of opera singers, who challenges us with the glorious harmonies of Mendelssohn and Brahms. Beata would love our ward choir. Beata would love hearing the dramatic love story and testimonies of Lon and Sheryl. American doctors unanimously gave Sheryl a death sentence, but her husband felt inspired to fly the courageous mother of his children to China for several months of experimental treatment which saved her life. Beata would especially adore my primary class of ten little girls who are so valiant that they practically glow in the dark. I suddenly felt ashamed of all the petty things I’ve whined about for years. I could literally feel Beata’s deep loneliness and intense longing for the gospel sisterhood which I don’t always value. I wanted to fly home immediately and hug every woman in my ward. I did bear my testimony about Beata and the power of sisterhood when I was safely back in my home ward, surrounded by a glorious sea of amazing female saints with a myriad of talents and spiritual gifts.

In honor of Beata, I dare you to make us envy YOUR ward. Focus a spotlight on the angels or spiritual giants or colorful characters that lift your burdens, inspire you to grow, or even make you laugh each week! What do YOU love about your ward or branch?

Comments

30 Responses to “Ward Envy”

Jenny
May 14th, 2009 @ 6:43 am

The diversity!
When I first moved to our ward, I had a hard time feeling like I fit in, because everyone was so different. I longed for the cookie-cutter mormon ward. What I didn’t realize ’til later, was that I DID fit in, and everyone accepted us BECAUSE of our differences. We are young and old, in between; rich and poor and of many cultures and races. Our conversations cross language barriers. Most members have a rich story full of testimony to tell about why they embrace the gospel. Fast and Testimony meetings never have awkward pauses. Some are single, some have handicapped children. Some live humbly and profess to have the lifestyle of royalty. Many would give you their last meal and not let you know that they had nothing else in the pantry to eat. We all struggle. We’ve lived in our ward for almost 20 years now, and as we’ve visited wards all over the country, I’ve been able to recognize how much I love our differences, and the fact that they bond us together as one.
Justine
May 14th, 2009 @ 6:52 am

I grew up in a branch of three families. Primary was during the week then, and it was held in our kitchen. As a child, I didn’t know that people could be inactive in the Mormon church, largely because any inactive people lived so far away from me, they weren’t my neighbors.

I count that as a great lesson and blessing to me to grow up with the understanding that it was my duty to serve the Lord because I belonged to this church. I sometimes really miss that tiny branch where so much was asked of us all the time.
Nan
May 14th, 2009 @ 8:00 am

This was achingly lovely. I have lived (at least 2 months) in nearly 30 different wards in the last fifteen years. My nomadic life has taught me that the church is filled with incredible women who are also incredibly human. Each sister is wonderful and imperfect in her own way.

Being in a small ward or branch, even for a short time, changes fundamentally how you view your own membership. When you meet those pioneering souls who have, quite literally, given up everything to be a part of God’s kingdom, you have to seriously evaluate your own committment. You have to ask yourself how faithful you would be if all the cultural things were stripped away–the Handel-worthy ward choir, the play groups with so many dear friends, the caselot sales that make food storage affordable, the Sunday School teacher who is so spiritual she might just get translated if you blink, the social networks that make up the majority of how we spend our time . . . . all of these things are important in their way, but at the end of our lives it will come down to our individual devotion to the Master. Dear Beata! That my greatest fault might be covetousness for greater fellowship with and love toward my sister saints.
Janet
May 14th, 2009 @ 8:20 am

That was lovely. Thank you for reminding me to be grateful for all the gospel sister friends that enrich my life!
Rosie
May 14th, 2009 @ 8:50 am

We are on our 12th ward in 24 years of marriage. Have to admit I’ve enjoyed and gained more socially and spiritually during some more than others. I think there are periods when you really need to be needed and show your talents and feel of use, basically. Then there are times when you go a little into hiding and just observe and appreciate the service of others. Right now I’m enjoying watching the – mostly younger – women shine and find their talents. We have a huge ward! We fill a stake center chapel and half a gym each Sunday. It’s a little easy to get lazy in a ward this size.
Emily M.
May 14th, 2009 @ 9:07 am

Oh, that was beautiful.

Here is why everyone should envy my ward: because the Fast and Testimony meetings are amazing. Everyone who speaks gets up, shares a testimony and possibly a relevant personal experience, and then sits down so others can also use the time. The Spirit in our last meeting was so thick you could almost touch it. Every so often we have a speaker who doesn’t do this, but it’s very rare.

Sacrament Meeting talks are also full of the Spirit and sound doctrine. No one glares at me when I have to take my son out. Instead, they compliment me on how good my other two kids are without an adult to sit with them.

When I broke my leg, my ward was amazing. Incredible. The Young Women (at their own suggestion) made me dinner and cleaned my house. My sweet neighbor made up a rotation system for taking care of my youngest and for cleaning my house. The compassionate service leader made sure we were well-fed. When we were in crisis mode, we felt their love and support and strength.

The first Sunday I went back to church after breaking my leg I was so emotional. Everywhere I looked, I saw someone who had helped me through a very hard time.

The teaching of good doctrine + kind, effective, willing service = the whole point of having a ward family. I love my ward.
Faith Not Fear
May 14th, 2009 @ 9:19 am

Our ward has an inspired bishop who just recently called another pair of Gospel Doctrine teachers, and then split the class (too big for the RS room) alphabetically.
I was asked to substitute teach the A-L class last week. As I got ready to go Sunday morning, I started to review where my friends would be so I could call on them . I was shaken a bit to realize that many of those I was closest to would not be in the class I was to teach.
And yet, as I taught, I was able to hear testimonies from those who might not have spoken up in the huge class, and I realized that there are wonderful people in both ends of the alphabet!
It was a great thing to discover about our ward, and about the inspiration of our bishop!
Melissa M.
May 14th, 2009 @ 10:20 am

I love the older sisters in my ward. I have the privilege of visit teaching two sweet older sisters who I love dearly. I love to glean from their wisdom and quiet strength grown from years of living a life devoted to the Lord and to their families–such wonderful examples to me! And I love my VT partner as well–she has been a great blessing in my life, full of wisdom and kindness and fervent testimony.:)When the visiting teaching program works as it should–and it does for me–it enriches and blesses lives.

I also appreciate chances to serve, which my ward has provided me and my husband with. We have both grown and matured in the gospel as we’ve tried to fulfill our callings, and this has blessed our family. I especially felt the Lord’s tender care for me recently when I was called to serve in the YW organization–He knew exactly what I needed.
kristine
May 14th, 2009 @ 11:00 am

the newlyweds & nearlydeads! it is actually a fun mix. very few youth, but our primary rocks. I love sunbeams and nursery, and don’t get around to RS often . . . but we have a 8 year old who recites memorized scriptures from the pulpit. and the funniest RS prez you’ll ever meet!
kristine
May 14th, 2009 @ 11:02 am

I have to give a shout out to my old ward in Iowa, CR1st . . . they TRULY know the definition of friendship, sisterhood, and what it means to be a ward family. We miss you CR1!!!
Steven C
May 14th, 2009 @ 11:56 am

Good post! We should focus less on the “warts” in our ward and celebrate the goodness…
Plain Jame
May 14th, 2009 @ 12:41 pm

My husband and I have moved several times since we married. This means always getting to know a new ward. It always takes a while because we’ve only been in Utah wards and people are comfortable and complacent to extend their friendships to all the newcomers. I am an outgoing yet insecure person so I am hesitant to extend myself much too. I have learned that most people feel the same way about me, and it just takes time to get to know people in a ward and neighborhood.

We’ve been in this ward a year, and last fast sunday a man got up to thank the ward for the love and generosity it’s shown to he and his wife as she’s gone through another cancerous brain tumor. He openly sobbed, and my heart wrenched as you could clearly see his pain. I know that people have wrapped their arms around those that suffer and mourn in this ward. A woman had triplets and 3 other little ones at home and there were members that were there to hold and feed those babies, clean, cook and help. Just a few examples of the unity that does take place when there are loving people that step up. I love it – and I love our Relief Society – there is a real sense of purpose and some wonderful insights that are shared from women of all ages and experiences.
Kathryn P.
May 14th, 2009 @ 12:48 pm

Beata’s name is pronounced BAY-AH-TAH, in case you feel the desire to mention her in your prayers. Beata loved to cook for Dr. Whipple because after she joined the church, her husband said he wouldn’t join the church until he met a mature LDS man (he’d only met young missionaries.) When Dr. Whipple brought his first group of BYU study abroad students to Lublin, Cezary finally met an amazing “mature” LDS man and he got baptized.
Rusty
May 14th, 2009 @ 12:52 pm

This post is a sort of love letter to my ward.
Merry Michelle
May 14th, 2009 @ 1:21 pm

I have angels in my ward–you should all be VERY, VERY jealous!

A Bishop with endless tenderness and patience. A visiting teaching companion who is soft spoken, wise, and powerful. A quirky home teacher and his wife with hearts so generous and full of love that they have come to our rescue in ways too private to share.

A friend I sit next to in Sunday school who is stylish, educated and hilarious! She is proper and composed until you get to know her a little better and then she is spunky, humble, and full of insight and honesty, and a complete joy to be with.

One angel in particular has loved me, helped me, guided me, and cried with me. When she saw a ticket on my car because it wasn’t registered, she orchestrated a way for me to pay for it and for registering my car. When I told her that I had fibbed to my husband, because I had felt led to take a class that he might mock, she gently said “The Spirit would never impress you to lie.”–which in turn prompted a tearful confession and more trust and communication in my marriage. She has helped me not only to survive, but to THRIVE at some of the bleakest, heaviest, hardest moments of my life.

There truly are people in my ward that I know the Lord has strategically placed there to hold me up, carry me and make me laugh in the face of fear. They are my angels.
Kathryn P.
May 14th, 2009 @ 2:25 pm

I just spent an hour talking to Esther. I brought her a copy of this blog because she doesn’t have the internet. I learned she is actually ninety-five, so I had to edit the original post from this morning. She also told me she checks out a dozen books every two weeks from the library. She finishes every book unless she discovers they have bad words, then she sets them aside. The only thing she regrets in her life is that she never had the opportunity to go to college. She was the second oldest child in a family of nine during the depression. Her last living brother died two weeks ago, but she was unable to go to the funeral because there was no plane service to his remote town. So a lovely angel in our ward brought her a gorgeous potted lily the day of her brother’s funeral. Esther LOVES our ward and we LOVE Esther.
QueenScarlett
May 14th, 2009 @ 3:35 pm

This is a beautiful post. I wish we could see pictures of the amazing Beata.

I’m passing this post along… I love it. I need to be better at appreciating what I have. I have been a spoiled Mormon.
Shelah
May 14th, 2009 @ 4:25 pm

When our primary sings, you can probably hear them from across the street. With five nursery classes, and a primary that fills all of the choir seats and then some, we’re never short little kids around here! I love it because my kids aren’t the only ones making noise during sacrament meeting. We joke that it sounds like a Brazilian rainforest during the sacrament– perhaps not the most reverent place but we’re in good company.
Kathryn P.
May 14th, 2009 @ 4:48 pm

QueenScarlett- I wish I still had pictures of Beata too. My husband accidentally lost the disc with all my study abroad photographs on it when he came to pick me up in Warsaw last summer! (occasionally the smaller is better technology goal backfires) I am returning to Lublin this summer and hopefully I’ll get some new photographs of lovely Beata and her family.
Amanda Erdmann
May 14th, 2009 @ 5:51 pm

My comment is not about my ward, but about Beata, who also cooked me and my husband dinner (sour soup, breaded chicken–my mouth waters thinking about it). My husband served his mission in Poland and loved the Gladuns, and they loved him. Beata is a wonderful person, the kind that can inherently cross language boundaries and communicate her personality and her love. Their family is both representative of and deeply in need of the strength that a ward grounded in a shared love of the gospel can bring. I enjoyed reading this, and read it to my husband–it made us both happy thinking about the food and friendship we shared with Beata.
Sage
May 14th, 2009 @ 8:17 pm

Thanks for this post. I am very fortunate to live in a great ward with many good women and few irritating ones (if any). (Maybe it’s the greater distance you have to drive to get to church that weeds out the more annoying ones).

I just wanted to spotlight my RS president. She is a rock, and yet her own life has had so many sorrows. Her husband left her with five little kids (right as they were leaving for church one Sunday morning). She has a chronic illness, she works full time, has a son in Iraq, has an inactive son who lives close, and the other three live far away. She is an inspiration to many. She serves tirelessly and yet has to go home to an empty house every night. She has always talked about lifting up the hands that hang down and being the hands of heaven on earth–and she exemplifies that in her life.
Tori
May 14th, 2009 @ 10:41 pm

How much they love my babies! We live in FL and young ones are the minority. So, the fact that they love my kiddos is a sweet blessing to me!
Kathryn P.
May 14th, 2009 @ 10:52 pm

As the day draws to a close, I would like to thank everyone who shared today. Your comments reminded me of a favorite scripture, which I shall take the liberty of slightly modifying: “Therefore, strengthen your sisters in all your conversation, in all your prayers, in all your blog comments, and in all your doings.” (D&C 108:7)

Jenny’s comment reminded me of the fun I had in my culturally diverse ward at BYU-Hawaii for one semester (many moons ago).

I will write Nan’s beautiful words in my journal because she eloquently reminded me of what is TRULY important.

I loved Emily’s reminder that the whole point of having a ward family is good doctrine + kind, effective, willing service.

Plain Jane talked about adjusting to a new ward. I’ve moved a lot and my strategy is to immediately join the ward choir. Ward choirs are always desperate for singers and I’m always welcomed with open arms. I quickly make friends that way.

Check out the link for Rusty’s love letter to his ward. It will make you proud to be Mormon.

How many of you are blessed with wards that sound like a Brazilian rainforest during the sacrament? I love a ward with a good sense of humor! Thanks for sharing that, Shelah!

It was also delightful to hear from Amanda, another friend of Beata. The missionaries I met in Poland were incredible.

Sage, Thank you for spotlighting your amazing Relief Society president. There is nothing more powerful than a woman who has developed a close relationship with the Savior due to adversity. I wonder how many suffering saints would agree with the Martin Handcart Company survivor who said, “The price I paid to become acquainted with God was a privilege to pay.”
Barbara Jo T.
May 15th, 2009 @ 12:17 pm

I love the women in the ward I grew up in. They are the mothers of my friends, and all these years later they still care about me and my family and they bring joy to my heart when I occasionaly see them. I have often thought about the young women in my current ward and the love I have for them and hope I can be the example they were to me.
Kathryn P.
May 15th, 2009 @ 12:44 pm

Barbara Jo and I grew up in the same ward and we did have wonderful female role-models in our ward. Last month I ran into Sister Stokes, one of our young women leaders, in the Salt Lake Temple and she looked just as beautiful and filled with light as she did 35+ years ago. That same day I ran into Barbara Jo’s mother-in-law working in the family history library and she also was just as serene and elegant as I remembered her. We were very blessed… I’ve also been blessed with amazing friends throughout my life like Barbara Jo.
H.K.
May 15th, 2009 @ 9:52 pm

I am a completely spoiled Mormon! Our family has moved a lot over the years, but the one comfort that I have had is that I know I will make friends with the sisters in my new ward. And I have! I hope Beata finds a sister in the gospel soon!
Leslie
May 16th, 2009 @ 7:18 pm

well here in new england we are often in want of more members. while everything doesn’t always go quite as smoothly and isn’t on a grand scale, it’s people making do the best they can. There isn’t competition, social hierarchy, no one cares what you or your kids are wearing, or how you look. There is no prettiest, smartest, coolest. We all have to band together to make it work. Everyone sacrifices alot for church attendance and callings and it shows in sincerity.
and I love lon and sheryl!
Rachel
August 3rd, 2009 @ 12:05 pm

As a member of that Lublin branch and BYU’s first Study Abroad at Katolicki Uniwersytet Lubelski, I have to say this post was the most beautiful way to start my day. Beata Gladun is an angel, and you’ve captured her goodness magically.
I am the Relief Society President in a small singles’ branch in New Mexico. It is a beautiful place, where unity is paramount. We call it a slice of Zion because love binds us together, and we are of one heart and one mind. We all want the best for one another, and I’ve seen miracles where the once-rejected have blossomed under the love and care of the members of my branch. They inspire me, and I’m so grateful to be with them. However, if there was a time in my life when I truly learned to appreciate the love and strength of a church family, it was during my two summers studying in Lublin. I felt the love of the branch members instantly. When we couldn’t communicate with words, a kiss on the cheek (or three, if you prefer the Polish custom) showed the love words couldn’t express anyway. Beata’s friend Sylwia was teaching B. a little English when I went back for my second summer. I remember her saying, “I love you, I love you, I love you.” And I love her– a thousand times. I love her family. I have a picture I took of Mikolaj right above my sink, and I look at it several times a day. It was a Sunday afternoon at Beata’s, where she slaved in the kitchen for one of her famous feasts and insisted the rest of us relax. Miko blew soap bubbles in the living room, with the light of the balcony streaming in to illuminate his angelic face (which was even more beautiful because of his mischevious hands). It was one of the most beautiful days of my life.
In all ways, Beata is worthy of emulation. Her grace, her hospitality, her paradigm, her humility, and her love make her a shining example of one of our Heavenly Father’s choicest daughters. Thank you for loving her as I have. Thank you for giving others a chance to love her as we have been blessed to.
Louise Thomas
August 3rd, 2009 @ 3:15 pm

What a beautiful tribute to an amazing woman. This is what the gospel is all about. I pray that one day Beata will find herself living in a bustling Lublin ward that is filled with sisters that are as kind and as Christ-like as she is.
Maralise
August 4th, 2009 @ 2:18 pm

OH boy. This is a hard one. But alas, I will try. I love the new member who has not missed a Sunday in over a year. I love the ex-bishop who hates Americans and yet sustains (and encourages his children to support and sustain) those Americans who serve in our Ward. I love the zealous (over-zealous?) man who remains the only one who is active in his now-grown family who teaches Sunday school (to 5 very unruly boys including one of my boys) every Sunday. I love that it was 90 Degrees in the Sacrament room last Sunday (ok, that one was a stretch). I love the old ladies that I cannot communicate with who leave Sacrament meeting 10 minutes early so they don’t miss their lunch at the Retirement home.

I live in a zany, wacky ward that I can’t even begin to understand. And I’m learning that maybe, that’s ok.