Welcome to Relief Society!

Posted by Justine | August 23, 2008 | 14 Comments

I guess I should have warned them.

I was asked to speak in Young Women’s a while back. I was supposed to get the graduating seniors excited about joining the Relief Society. I was supposed to be an ambassador from the Relief Society, reaching out to these young sisters in the gospel.

They probably shouldn’t have picked me.

I went. Well, technically, Morivella went. I was just channeling her. And we had a pretty rockin’ good time at the expense of all those hand-crocheted handbags out there in the world.

Because really, shouldn’t women know by now that purple and red never, ever, ever match? And shouldn’t women know that you can’t get to Heaven by making just one extra casserole?

Well, I told true.

I told those girls that they were going to have to buckle down and learn how to can, quilt, and knit, just like every good Mormon woman should. I told them that they would learn how to properly decorate a table for virtually any foreseeable event (I mean, there are subtle complexities to table decorating for such days as Arbor Day, Earth Day, Veterans Day, etc. You see my point here!).

Those girls needed to have the bald-faced truth told to them. I told them straight up. “We need you girls! We desperately need you. We need someone to remind us that we haven’t been 90 forever. We need to be reminded that we too were once 18. We too once had dreams. We too once had boobs that didn’t touch our navel.”

Those girls also had to hear it all about how much they needed us. Oh, yes. They need us.

We women, we’re a cagey lot. We’ve got all sorts of skills-for-sharing. We need an outlet for all this crocheting madness going on in our heads. We need to know that someone, someday will fill our shoes at the Daughters of the Utah Pioneers dinners. We need to know!

So there you have it. I carried my homemade handbag, held together by gold shower curtain rings. I did my Mormon-ly duty.

Those girls are sure to come now.

Category: weekend rants

Comments

14 Responses to “Welcome to Relief Society!”

Heather O.
August 23rd, 2008 @ 9:24 am

Justine. You are my hero. Wow.
jendoop
August 23rd, 2008 @ 9:32 am

Can Morivella visit my branch? I need someone to finish the afghan I started.
Great way to get the point across, I may need to follow your example one day.
Dalene
August 23rd, 2008 @ 9:36 am

You ROCK Justine/Morivella!
wendy
August 23rd, 2008 @ 10:46 am

You go girl!
Andrea R.
August 23rd, 2008 @ 11:14 am

I love this!!! What a great idea!! We might have to borrow it for our RS.
Sharlee
August 23rd, 2008 @ 11:25 am

Justine, you CRACK ME UP!

Yes, those girls are sure to come now.
MaryC
August 23rd, 2008 @ 12:55 pm

That might just be the funniest thing I have ever seen/read! Awesome!
Libby
August 23rd, 2008 @ 1:04 pm

Oh, how I wish I’d been there!
elizabeth-w
August 23rd, 2008 @ 5:21 pm

Did Dalene show me this awhile back? All I know is I forwarded to my RS President and they used it in our ward to welcome all the YW graduating from high school into RS.
Thank you!!!!
Justine
August 23rd, 2008 @ 8:01 pm

Yeah, I posted this on my personal blog a while back. I’m just lazy, that’s really the truth of it!
makakona
August 23rd, 2008 @ 11:23 pm

LOVE IT!!!
Johnna
August 23rd, 2008 @ 11:49 pm

Morivella, you are rocking that dress.

You are brilliant–and you got the point across.
m&m
August 24th, 2008 @ 1:24 am

You look fabulous, darling, simply fabulous.

(Love it.)
Rachelle
August 24th, 2008 @ 10:28 pm

That is a hilarious, totally worth stealing idea.