We decided not to have children not because we don’t like children, in fact just the opposite.

The world’s population is growing at a staggering rate…..

Leo, thanks for your sincerity in sharing. One of the things I thought about as I was trying to remember what I thought before I actually became a mother was that ache in my heart to just love someone unselfhishly, and sure Martha, maybe it’s selfish in the end, kind of like King Benjamin’s whole speech about unprofitable servants, but I imagine it’s the closest we’ll get to reaching our potential. We do give a lot and sacrifice a lot, but what we are given in return so far outweighs it that you just can’t actually surrender much.

Meredith, part of my initial resentment with this pregnancy was the whole, hey this is my body, it’s working hard enough just caring for children, I don’t want to be carrying one again. But it is amazing, and kind of like what Angie said, “Then something deeper and at once far above and beyond me took over. That prompting– something spiritual or something profoundly organic or a little of each,” that hard to explain feeling in your heart, or your gut or both that you just know and you take a leap of faith, like Indiana, and cjane.

Thanks again for taking to time to think and share. I hope that my friends do get to understand eventually how wrong they were Azucar. And Brooke, I wouldn’t say I’m glowing, but growing, yes. Our ultrasound appointment is next week, so maybe we’ll know if it’s a boy or a girl in just a few short days.

Our number three was a surprise (or came quicker) too, Heather. I had a tough time reconciling being pregnant with my ideal time line and yet still… felt like that was what my body was supposed to do.

Congratulations to you again! You were glowing when I saw you early on, and I bet you’re still glowing!

She honestly told us not to have kids. When we had her only grandchild she was thrilled, but told us not to have anymore. When we had the second, she was equally thrilled. She couldn’t be more in love with them.

I hope I can show her that having children doesn’t have to be as emotionally painful as her children were to her. Maybe, as cjane said, our babies will perfect what the last generation was unable to accomplish.

martha– i feel the same way about having more kids. you said, “I don’t want to have regrets. Soon my time will be up. There will not be the possibility to bear another child. I don’t want to regret choosing to not have one because of selfish reasons. I could use some more sleep and my body could use a break but it is such a short season. I believe I would regret not having one more baby.” hearing someone else say that made me feel more validated for having those feelings. my two children are almost exactly two years apart and after i had my second, i told myself that i was going to take a longer break before the next one. since i had gotten pregnant the month after i stopped nursing, i had been either nursing or pregnant for 45 months straight! now my youngest is 2 1/2, so i’ve had a good 1 1/2 years where my body has just been mine. i know i want at least one more, but the longer i wait, the harder it gets to actually go through with it. thank you, martha, for reminding me that i do NOT want to have any regrets. if i can just keep my eye on the big picture, the short term tradeoffs definitely seem worth it.

motherhood is definitely hard, as anyone i’m sure would agree with, but i honestly cannot imagine a life without children. i think for about 10 years or so, it might be okay, but i can’t even begin to think about how empty my life would seem without the joy that children bring and the experiences that i get to share with them. i love being a wife, but what if i was just that? think about all the stages of life that come with being a mother: pregnancy, mother of a baby, mother of a toddler, mother of a preschooler, mother of an elementary student, mother of a tween, mother of a teenager, mother of an adult/college student, mother of a married child, mother-in-law, grandmother. life as only a wife would seem pretty stagnant to me without all those changes! i truly am excited about every new phase! i am not trying to be critical of anyone else, but for ME, i love the challenges and changes that come with motherhood!

I did not like kids.

Babies were not interesting.

Children hampered your independence and were a lot of work.

I wanted to “do something” with my life.

I knew that I would probably be a mom, but it wasn’t a personal goal. Even if I did have kids, I’d want as few as possible.

I knew that I was supposed to, but I didn’t want to.

I got married. I was practically kicking against the pricks. Then, in a very personal experience, I knew we were supposed to have children. We started trying, albeit reluctantly, and we couldn’t get pregnant. Infertility blessed me with the desire to have children. A few years later we conceived.

I had my first and fell in love. I knew about the hard work, the intensity, but I didn’t know how much I’d like motherhood.

I LOVED it.

I didn’t know that babies were fun.

I didn’t realize that children would make you a better person.

I wish I could have a dozen.

I didn’t want to be independent, I wanted to be interdependent.

I know how those girls feel.

I can’t wait until they find how wrong they were.