Workers of the Ward, Unite!

Posted by Emily M. | October 19, 2009 | 36 Comments

In my first singles ward, our bishopric held a special retreat to teach new ward members about being an active part of an adult ward. Brother Thompson used an analogy I have never forgotten. “When you’re at a potluck dinner,” he said, “the person who is assigned to bring the roast beef is someone who can always be counted on. You want to be a roast beef member.”

I have always remembered his analogy; I wish I had always lived it. When I taught Relief Society several years ago, I had to go out of town on my week. I called the other teacher and left a message on her machine asking if we could switch weeks. She left a message on mine, saying we could, and that was that. I thought.

Except I returned home to frantic answering machine messages, asking where I was and was I planning on teaching that day. No one showed up. And then I discovered that I had the calendar mixed up when I tried to change things around, and I had made a gigantic mess. I felt terrible. I made brownies for the entire Relief Society Presidency as an apology. The woman who filled in for me kept alluding to her pinch-hitting episode over the next few weeks, and I wanted to die every time she mentioned it.

My mortification came on several levels. I try to be responsible. I hate letting people down. More than that, though, I want to be … a worker of the ward. Yes, I want people to think of me as a worker of the ward. But I also want to be a worker because I want to serve the Lord. Being flaky, even unintentionally, feels to me like a betrayal of God.

The less noble result of that, though, is that my desire to avoid being flaky has, lately, meant that I don’t want to actually commit to do anything, because I’m scared I won’t do a good enough job. I look back at callings or assignments I’ve had and I am full of critiques and ideas about things I should have done better, and this makes me hesitant to take on anything new. I’m aware that I didn’t love those nursery kids as much as I should have. I know that I should have spent more time preparing primary lessons, more energy seeking out people who needed compassionate service. All my past frailties come back and yell at me, making me forget the times that I really was prompted by the Spirit to help someone in the right way.

But part of being a worker of the ward is doing just that: taking on the new assignment, even when you feel inadequate. Committing even when the territory is unfamiliar. Forgiving yourself for past mistakes, and forgiving others as they serve imperfectly. I want to be consistent in my service, and and also consistently merciful.

In all this, God surprises me with blessings I had not anticipated. I’m newly sustained to teach Primary music, and after just two weeks I am humbled by the joy of watching children sing. Who knew that there would be such a difference between singing in the audience with the children and standing in front of them, watching their eyes filled with light and song?

What callings have been a blessing to you? How has the Spirit helped you fulfill a challenging assignment? What do you do to keep yourself motivated to be a worker of the ward? And do you have a good roast beef recipe?

Comments

36 Responses to “Workers of the Ward, Unite!”

Tiffany W.
October 19th, 2009 @ 2:24 pm

Emily, your initial story doesn’t strike me as an example of slothfulness, flakiness or anything else, just a mix-up. Having served as a counselor in the primary presidency, I’ve seen countless examples of both immense faithfulness in callings and complete and utter disregard for being dependable. I’ve also seen many examples of great intent that was there but catastrophe always seemed to strike that person just when we needed them.

At first, I used to get frustrated by flakiness because of the way it inconvenienced me. But lately my heart has been changed and I feel more saddened by flakiness because of the way it hurts primary children. (“Who will be my teacher today?” question the children feeling very insecure. Children, especially need to know they are loved by a teacher who cares enough to teach their classes.

Anyway, I’ve always thought I’ve been more or less dependable, but I remember my first time as a married woman in a “real” family ward where I was called to serve as a primary chorister. I blew off a couple of primary inservice meetings, not realizing how much trouble the presidency had gone to prepare quality lessons to help us all improve. I still feel guilty about that. I think my service lacks in the area that I don’t always go with the intent of loving my calling. I go because I should and do what I should. I’m working on feeling more joy in my service.
jendoop
October 19th, 2009 @ 2:55 pm

I agree with Emily, there is a difference between being human and making a mistake and blatent disregard for your responsibility. You are human and made a mistake, don’t beat yourself up over it. Everyone makes mistakes, gets sick at the last minute, or just plain forgets that they were assigned to bring the roast. Don’t confuse something that should keep us humble enough to serve with something that is an intentional shirking of duty.

Put Your Shoulder To the Wheel was a hymn I learned as a child one year in primary. It stuck with me, and my parents taught me about being dependable and working hard. So it drives me crazy when someone accepts a calling and then doesn’t show up – EVER – or men that stand around talking at a ward activity while the women put the chairs away. But this is an integral part of being in the Lord’s kingdom. We will work with, and for, people who are imperfect. Through this we learn how to be like the Savior, picking up a little tolerance, patience, love, etc. along the way.

The time I remember shirking my duty – While pregnant with my first child I was put on bedrest. I taught the 13 yr old Sunday school, all boys. I told the Sunday school president and the bishopric member that I could no longer do the calling, doctor’s orders. They told me to have faith and keep going. I felt like they didn’t even hear me. So the next Sunday I walked up to the counselor in the bishopric and handed him my manual and walked away. I cared about the boys I taught but I felt I was put in an impossible situation. Yuck, I still don’t like to think about it.

This week I accepted a calling as the stake YWs 2nd counselor. If you asked me a week ago if I’d accept a calling like that, I’d say no. But I did. It is an act of complete faith because I have been so richly blessed, in different ways, by every calling I have held (sometimes just coming to an understanding of “endurance”).

My secret to staying motivated: pray for love – love for those you serve and those you serve with.
Faith.Not.Fear
October 19th, 2009 @ 3:08 pm

I agree that the roast beef people are dependable, but the ones I truly admire are the set-up-take-down, clean-up, come-before-stay-long-after ones!

Everybody thanks the roast beef people, but most often the set-up-take-down, clean-up people are rarely seen, or thanked.

You know, the brother who goes with his wife to set up the tables for her RS Meeting? Or who checks to be sure the building is clean early Sunday morning? Or who goes to shovel just in case the young men forget?

The sisters who stay long after the RS Meeting or the funeral to put the kitchen back in order? The member of the Primary presidency who sweats over the presentation? The YW’s secretary? The Nursery leaders?!

Those people are amazing! if you’re one of them, THANK YOU!!!
Tiffany W.
October 19th, 2009 @ 3:10 pm

Jendoop, I think you did the right thing to turn in your manual. Being put on bedrest to make it through a difficult pregnancy is surely a good reason for not being able to do your calling. That’s not shirking your duty in my book. It might have been shirking if you didn’t tell the bishop and just stopped showing up. Anyhow, I don’t think you should feel guilty about that.
Faith.Not.Fear
October 19th, 2009 @ 3:11 pm

And Emily M., thank you for this post! I needed it!!!

Time to “gird up [my] loins [and] fresh courage take!”
JennR
October 19th, 2009 @ 3:13 pm

I like the roast beef analogy as a goal, but I can’t believe that someone made you feel so bad for missing a lesson! That’s totally in your Education Counselor’s calling description to fill-in as needed. It was an honest mistake; it’s not like you ditched on purpose.
Tay
October 19th, 2009 @ 3:28 pm

I understand the guilt factor. It doesn’t matter if it was a simple blunder, I rarely forget when I do things like that. But eventually I know I have to come to terms with it.

Currently a nursery teacher, I have to be sure to be there as much as possible. If even one of the teachers is different, the kids have a harder time. Which makes it hard when my partner’s kids get sick every three weeks. I hate when the kids have to readjust.

Sometimes with callings you are just inhibited. I was in charge of the ward program every week. But I couldn’t get hold of a key or even the information on the program by the time Saturday night rolled around. So, I did a naughty thing: I just stopped doing it. They got the idea after two weeks and realized it was easier to have one of the clerks do it right after the bishopric meeting and released me. But I don’t know what else I could have done to get their attention, talking was obviously not working.

But I would never stop doing my nursery calling. I love it too much. So to my ward members, don’t worry about that one.
Janet
October 19th, 2009 @ 3:34 pm

I love your phrase: “I want to be consistent in my service, and and also consistently merciful.”
Jen
October 19th, 2009 @ 3:37 pm

1 packet onion soup
1 crock pot o’ beef

Mmmmmmmmmm.

I have never detested at first and loved at last any calling as much as I now love my calling as primary chorister.
Laura
October 19th, 2009 @ 4:37 pm

Previously I have struggled with guilt over not doing enough in callings, especially with being a good visiting teacher. As compassionate service leader for 3.5 years, in a ward that was more needing of service than could give it, I learned lot about about my desire to serve. I often joked with my husband, I was in that calling for so long because thats how long it took me to learn how to develop compassion.

At a training meeting for my new calling, Cub Scout Bear Leader, my heart was set on fire. I realized that if I didnt want to be there, I was only hurting those 9 year old boys, who did want to be there. I also looked at my two young sons, ages 1 and 2, and I decided that I was going to be the kind of leader I wanted them to have when they were scout age. One who wanted to be there. So, I threw myself into scouting and all that comes with it; silly songs, rowdy boys, and plenty of beltloops and badges. I loved every minute of it, and I will try to remember to apply that same desire to every calling I receive.
elizabeth-w
October 19th, 2009 @ 6:39 pm

I’m serving in a Primary presidency. I call it my HR job b/c the split second everything is staffed, something is going to change.
Our president told me something several months ago when I was feeling frustrated by flakiness. She basically said that everyone who serves in the church is doing it voluntarily, no one gets paid to do it, and we have all points in our lives, or we most likely will if we haven’t yet, in which we can all be a bit distracted, struggling, overwhelmed, depressed, etc. The best thing we can do for our teachers is give them compassionate service, literally or actually. Do I get annoyed when a teacher comes to church 10 min after classes have started and we’re struggling to figure out what to do with 10 extra 10 year olds? Yes. But it lasts about 1/10th as long.
Kathryn P.
October 19th, 2009 @ 7:07 pm

My current calling is my favorite calling of all times. I have recently said that if the Lord announced that for the next million years I would be teaching the 10-11 year old girls in primary, I would say, “YES!” I have almost a dozen girls in my class now, but that calling is pure joy. Brother Osguthorpe explained “my secret” in his General Conference talk this month. I could answer yes to all eight of his questions:
1. As a teacher, do I view myself as a messenger from God?
2. Do I prepare and then teach in ways that can help save lives?
3. Do I focus on a key doctrine of the revelation?
4. Can those I teach feel the love I have for them and for my Heavenly Father and the Savior?
5. When inspiration comes, do I close the manual and open their eyes and their ears and their hearts to the glory of God?
6. Do I invite them to do the work that God has for them to do?
7. Do I express so much confidence in them that they find the invitation hard to refuse?
8. Do I help them recognize promised blessings that come from the living the doctrine I am teaching?

I LOVED that talk. It was so cool to have a general conference speaker summarize what the Spirit had been individually teaching me about how to be a better teacher. I always feel inadequate when I get a new calling, but the Lord always answers my desperate prayers and makes me equal to the task. When I’m serving with the help of the Spirit, my church calling never feels like a burden. I’ve also found it really helps to only worry about pleasing the Lord. If you worry about pleasing all the perfectionists in your ward, you will just go insane and feel miserable. So I just do my best and if the Lord is happy with me — I feel like a winner!

P.S. Emily, I might have felt bad in that same scenario; however, when I was the Education Counselor, I always contacted my teachers the week before and made sure they were healthy, prepared and planning to teach that next Sunday (and that was before the added convenience of e-mail). I also taught Relief Society for over a decade and the Education Counselors ALWAYS called me a couple days before. One counselor would say, “I’m just calling to make sure you have a centerpiece for Sunday.” (and she wasn’t kidding… Do they still do that?)
Faith.Not.Fear
October 19th, 2009 @ 8:08 pm

Kathryn P — Re: the centerpiece in our ward
Yes but for the most part they follow the “simplify” counsel of the general presidency — a tablecloth and a simple statue.
Dovie
October 19th, 2009 @ 8:17 pm

Kathryn P. I was going to say some stuff but you already said it way better. Every time I read your posts and comments I want to grow up to be just like you!
jendoop
October 19th, 2009 @ 8:27 pm

Kathryn, thank you for the reminder of Bro. O’s talk. Starting my new calling with those points in mind will help me so much!
Dovie
October 19th, 2009 @ 8:51 pm

My favorite is my current calling, nursery. We have three in our ward and I get to be in with the brand new ones, the babies is the bestest. I am continually trying to be a grown up. I I I. I’ve had some callings that were really hard and looking back I am astounded that I was able do to do what I did. I learned so much about what I was able to do, but more what the Lord was willing to do for me as I bumbled about doing my best. The stregnth and magnification of my efforts was astounding.

One of my many bumblings, I scheduled a teacher imrovement meeting for the night of our anniversary, without realizing till a day or two before the meeting, I felt terrible on multiple levels for that one. Still went to the meeting but ducked out early to go to dinner with my sweetie. Felt fine all through dinner but the when I got home I broke down, balling like a baby. Felt like I had let down everyone the husband, the primary president, the other counslers, the dutiful attending teachers, everyone, but really I hadn’t, stuff happens for all of us. Go easy on yourself.
Strollerblader
October 19th, 2009 @ 9:05 pm

Two callings come to mind when I think of ones that have been a blessing to me. (There have been lots of others, but these are definite highlights.)

The first one was when I was in a small branch in Alaska. It was the summer I turned 23, and that tiny branch became almost a singles’ branch during the summer with the influx of young adults who came up to work in the summer. While I was in one room of the K-12 school where we met for church being called to be a stake missionary, the full-time missionaries, down from a 2-hour drive from Fairbanks, were in another room teaching the first discussion to another single girl. After accepting the call, they immediately asked me if me and my also-newly-called 19 year old companion would teach Rebecca the 2nd discussion. Neither one of us had any clue about the missionary discussions. It just so happens that you are supposed to commit the investigator to baptism at the end of the 2nd Discussion. It was a couple of long, nervous days before we taught her. And when it came time, I somehow spit out the question to her to commit her to baptism. We ended up teaching her one other of the 6 discussions before her baptism. The full-time elders were able to get back down to teach her the other lessons. I was so greatly blessed by exercising my faith and taking leaps into the darkness with that calling.

The other calling I had that was a true blessing to me was when I was Enrichment Leader, back a few years ago when there were monthly meetings. That calling just energized me so much! I discovered abilities and talents that I didn’t know I had, and just loved it. It really made me realize how capable I was and the kinds of things that made me feel fulfilled. As a SAHM, I just hadn’t had the opportunity to have that kind of a fulfilling “job” before.

The calling I have now is challenging, in that it is really a made-up calling that together we are still trying to define what I should be doing and how. Don’t get me wrong, it is a very much needed calling, which is why they created it, but there is no precedent nor handbook guidelines to go along with it. The Spirit has been a package deal with this calling, though. I have truly felt its constant companionship since I got set apart. And my patriarchal blessing has also been a great help with my current calling.
Emily M.
October 19th, 2009 @ 9:16 pm

Thanks to everyone who told me to go easy on myself . I think it was actually a really good experience for me to have because it prevents me from judging when people flake out. I still feel bad though, mostly, as Tiffany said, for the kids. There’s a huge difference between a Primary class that has had a consistent teacher for a while, and one that’s had a series of subs. The Spirit is different, the kids don’t behave as well.

Kathryn, President Osguthorpe lived in my home ward when I was growing up, and his wife was my Mia Maid advisor and voice teacher. Everything he taught in that talk, she did. Especially the expressing confidence part–she would get everyone in the ward to sing musical numbers, even if they weren’t musically inclined, and she made everyone into a success.

Elizabeth-w, I love that line–”the best thing we can do for our teachers is give them compassionate service.” I think that’s true–people are more likely to serve well when they feel that those who are in charge of their department truly care about them.

Dovie, I really struggled with my nursery calling. I should have put more prayer into it than I did, I think. I am in awe of people who love it.

Thanks for your great comments, everyone!
Michelle L.
October 19th, 2009 @ 9:16 pm

love the roast beef analogy. I like being dependable but I still mess up pretty regularly!
Joy128
October 19th, 2009 @ 9:38 pm

I have been serving as the Primary Chorister for about 6 months, and let me tell you, this is a calling that requires you to work! There is no faking it as a Primary Chorister, but it is very rewarding. I joke that I hate my calling on Saturday night and love it on Saturday morning.

As for being a “worker”, I feel like to be a long-term worker you must have a strong testimony. Unless you absolutely know WHY you are doing it, it seems impossible to keep up that kind of time and energy when you also have a million other things pulling at you. It is easy to get burned out as a worker unless you are strengthening your testimony daily (something I am terrible at doing until my lamp is almost empty). This also applies when your husband is a worker. Getting to church by myself with young kids for two years while he is at Bishopric meetings has only happened because of my absolute knowledge that being at church is the right thing to do.
Dovie
October 19th, 2009 @ 9:39 pm

Emily, we are all different I’m sure there are plenty of callings that would test my every fiber that you would just love. Teenagers for me have made me appreciate toddlers. Not that I don’t appreciate my teens… Just so the one that I know reads Segullah does not think I disrespect. Maybe toddlers help teenagers appreciate parents.
Kathryn P.
October 19th, 2009 @ 9:58 pm

Dovie and Jendoop – I’m sending virtual hugs to both of you. There have been times when I haven’t had to comment because one of you had shared exactly what I was feeling or thinking. I LOVE Segullah when we use it as a forum to strengthen our sisters…

Emily – Sister Osguthorpe sounds amazing…I met Dr. Osguthorpe once when I was working on my thesis and he just seemed incredibly kind. Primary chorister is my second favorite calling. One year I was the chorister in my current ward and the primary presidency had prayerfully prepared the script and music for our primary program. The spirit was so strong during our Saturday practice that we were practically in tears. For just a brief second I was given a glorious glimpse of who those children were in the pre-existence and I felt humbled that I was given the privilege of teaching them … Primary callings are just the best…
Joy128
October 19th, 2009 @ 10:02 pm

Oops, I meant love it on SUNDAY morning, which I really do. The spirit is so strong. There is nothing better than standing in front of a line of Sunbeams as they sing their hearts out about the Gospel. I think my primary kids think I’m a little looney though because I am always crying.
J. Vorwaller
October 19th, 2009 @ 11:41 pm

Thank you so much for this. I always felt like I was a bit alone in that feeling of not being able to follow through because it might not be “good enough.” And just so you know, it seems from our perspective as readers that you are one of those roast beef members, even when you felt it the least!
Blue
October 20th, 2009 @ 1:10 am

below is a sample of the RS VT Message that a sister in my ward writes for every month to go with the Ensign’s VT lesson goes nicely with this topic. I will type up an excerpt below. Sorry for those who dislike long comments!!! ♥:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Are You Willing?

You know how it works. There’s been a death in the ward or neighborhood, and a clipboard is being passed around in Relief Society asking for volunteers to sign up to help with the luncheon for the family after the funeral. Another week, a clipboard is passed around asking for volunteers to say the opening and closing prayers in Relief Society. Perhaps on the same clipboard is a list of service opportunities–volunteers needed to read to students at an inner city elementary school, or to help can food at the Welfare Square cannery, or to take a meal to a family who has just had a baby, or to volunteer to substitute in Primary. That’s why it’s called Relief Society. It’s an organization based on a compassion that gives opportunity for women to serve each other, the Church, and the community. This week you sign up to take a salad for a funeral luncheon, and next week other sisters will sign up to bring dinner to your family because your husband is in the hospital.

On the day Joseph Smith organized the Relief Society, Emma Smith, Joseph’s wife, was elected president. In her enthusiasm, and no doubt under the influence of the Holy Ghost, she said: “we are going to do something extraordinary.” When asked what the extraordinary things would be, she gave as an example: “When a boat is struck on the rapids with a multitude of ‘Mormons’ on board, we shall consider that a loud call for relief; we expect extraordinary occasions and pressing calls.”

That’s what we are still about today, 167 years later; we consider these Relief Society clipboards a “loud call” for service and “expect extraordinary occasions and pressing calls.”

The bottom line, as these service opportunities come, is that each woman who signs her name attests to the fact that she is willing to perform a needed service. It’s like a mini contract. “I, hereby, promise to bring one dozen rolls to the funeral lunch on Monday.” It’s all about being willing.

Recently a sister signed a clipboard list to take a meal to a family. She didn’t know them because she had just moved into the ward. Whether she knew them or not was of no consequence. She was willing to serve people she’d never met when their “boat was struck on the rapids” on the Mississippi. Knowing the people you volunteer to serve is not important, being willing to serve is.

The prophet Moses commanded the people saying, “Whosoever is of a willing heart, let him bring…an offering of the LORD” (Exodus 35:5) All you have to be is willing. King David taught his son Solomon, “Know thou the God of thy father, and serve him with a willing mind” (1 Chronicles 28:9)

Heavenly Father willing sent His Only Begotten to a corrupt and fallen world. This Most Beloved Son followed His Father’s pattern of willingness. He said: “For I came down from heaven, not to do mine own will, but the will of him that sent me” (John 6:39).

Like Jesus, we also covenant to follow this pattern of being willing to do the Father’s will each week as we partake of the sacrament. In our hearts we say “I am willing to take upon [me] the name of thy Son, and always remember him and keep his commandments.” (D&C 20:77)

The people of King Benjamin promised, “And we are willing to enter into a covenant with our God to do his will” (Mosiah 5:5). No matter where we are, signing those clipboards in Relief Society, and taking initiative when we see needs around us that we can meet, is evidence that we are willing to do His will by helping with His work.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Kay
October 20th, 2009 @ 2:32 am

I work my socks off in church in whatever calling I am in. I just always have. Sometimes I love a calling more than others, some I struggled with, but I do work hard. I am also one of those that helps at everything, setting up, clearing away etc. Giving me all is not my problem.

My problem is the absolute frustration I feel when people accept a calling or assignment and do not do it even halfheartedly. I am not talking about the times we all have when we are unexpectedly ill, or the children are. I mean week after week letting people down. I mean the people who never help at activities, ever, but are first up for the food. It seriously drives me up the wall. I just do not understand it. As you can see, compassion is not my strong point. Most times I can let it go but occasionally it overwhelmes me. I have told my husband before that “we will not be last people at church tonight, I want to go home too when we have done our bit but not x, y, and z’s bit as well.” I do not have a sweet bone in my body today on this subject, just witchlike ones.
Matt
October 20th, 2009 @ 8:17 am

Tay, you reminded me of a story my great-grandmother used to tell. Her building had an old pipe organ with a bellows that needed to be blown by hand. The same “little old man” had worked the bellows for decades, and enjoyed his calling.

One Sunday, the person conducting failed to recognize this brother when he was thanking the organist and the conductor for their service. When the time came for the next hymn, this brother remained seated until the leader went back up to the pulpit, and formally thanked him for his help with the music that day.
EmilyH
October 20th, 2009 @ 9:14 am

I was raised by two VERY dependable parents, and so I turned into one of those people. And, to be honest, I resent it sometimes. Whenever I have a calling with any sort of leadership, I get SO frustrated with the flakes because their lack of responsibility always falls back on my shoulders, and I’m left to scramble at the last minute. So usually after a couple months, I start to take on everything from the get-go so I can actually have time to plan. Probably not the best idea, but I haven’t thought of a successful way to inspire and/or motivate others to fulfill their own callings.
Dovie
October 20th, 2009 @ 10:26 am

Easy Beef Roast Recipe
You will need
3-4 hours
3-5 pound roast
one slow cooker
2 packages Lipton Onion Soup Mix
2 packages of brown gravy mix
2 cloves of garlic crushed
1 cup water

Salt and pepper roast or a even better a couple of good shakes of Montreal Steak Seasoning to lightly coat. Brown roast on all sides in oil in a heavy bottom pan. I like to get mine really brown and crunchy. Using the wet slow cook method most of the crunchiness will not remain but the yummy flavor will. De glaze pan with a little water and dump that good stuff in the bottom of the pan into the slow cooker.

Add all ingredients to the slow cooker and mix up. Add the roast. Spoon a little bit of the the liquid on top of the roast. Cover and cook.

Add any vegetables you desire the last hour. I recommend, carrots, potatoes and onions (or pearl onions).

You can do it with just beef and of course and it will be delicious. Mash some potatoes or dice and roast some with another package of Lipton Onion Soup mix according to package directions. You could also add mushrooms at the beginning if you are a mushroom lover and let the meat cook longer till it completely falls apart and serve on rolls with Swiss.

It is a little bit of a cheater recipe but it is really good. Of course you would not want to do this with a super fancy cut of meat in that case you would probably want to roast it in the conventional oven, but that is a whole other story and not really ward dinner type fare.

Giving props for beef preparation to my brother Rex, who in turn I’m sure gives props to Grandma Ruby.
Kristina
October 20th, 2009 @ 12:14 pm

I was just talking with friends over the weekend about Church callings and how sometimes they’re inspired, but many times, they’re extended because leaders know who’s reliable.

Last year,a member of my bishopbric left me a message to meet with him about a calling. I already had 2 callings, one as a ward missionary, which was very time intensive. I called back and said I’d be more than willing to take a 3rd calling if there was no one else in the ward who could do that particular task. Of course, they found someone else who did a great job and who didn’t have a calling. Sadly though, the reason my name came up in the first place was because I am reliable and many are not.

I am a single in my 30s, and over the years, many single friends — men and women, have complained that they feel disenfranchised in their wards. Most of the time, the issue is that they are not participating in activities and not fulfilling their callings. Serving one another builds relationships and love, and is the best way to build unity. I have often felt awkward when moving to a new ward, but I roll up my sleeves, show up at every activity and work hard in my callings. Often times, it is a lonely few months before I start to feel like I have friends, but inevitably, the work of serving and participating pays off. We can’t expect others to know who we are and to care for us if we never give them an opportunity to because we never show up!
Emily M.
October 20th, 2009 @ 3:39 pm

Strollerblader, I love the Alaska story.

Kay and Emily H., it is indeed frustrating when people are consistently flaky. The only thing that I have noticed about that is … that sometimes there’s more going on than I realized. I can think of several examples of flakiness that irritated me, and then I found out more about their situation, and I realized that there was a reason for their not following through. That may not be true with everyone, but I’ve been surprised by the way that what looks like flakiness turns out later to be evidence of situations that tug at my heart.

That being said, I love what Joy said–to be a worker, you’ve got to have a strong and sustained testimony. So true, and something that, for me, requires constant feeding. And Kristina, that is one of the things I love about serving in the Church–as soon as I get involved in a calling, I feel like I know people. It takes a few months, but showing up and being involved helps me feel a sense of belonging that I never get when I stay on the periphery.

J. Vorwaller, that reminds me of a scripture in Ether 12. Moroni is worried about whether we will read and accept the Book of Mormon, which he has worked so hard on, in spite of his weakness in writing. And the Lord tells him “If they have not charity, it mattereth not unto thee. Thou hast been faithful.” I think that sometimes people are not going to have charity when we fill callings that are challenging for us. But the Lord knows our hearts–even if others don’t have charity for us, He knows that we have been faithful.

Now I need to go try some roast beef recipes!
jendoop
October 20th, 2009 @ 5:20 pm

Kristina – when a fellow ward member found out about my new stake calling he teased me, saying not to do such a good job or I’ll keep getting “promoted”. Then he told me that his sure fire way of avoiding those leadership callings is to proudly proclaim that he’s a Democrat.
m&m
October 20th, 2009 @ 7:33 pm

My current calling is teaching me about letting go of my need to be perfect — I do the bulletin every week for Sunday meetings, and invariably, there is something wrong in it, regularly. It’s been good for me to learn to let go of the embarrassment for simply being human.

That’s what I think of when I read your story. I’m reading a book right now by Wendy Ulrich about the difference between weakness and sin, and it’s the kind of thing I wish I had really understood starting, oh, 30 years ago!

Another calling right now is just a temp calling – I’m a sub for a few months in Gospel Doctrine (adult Sunday School class). All I can say is that sometimes callings come right when you need them, and this one did. No question. Straight from heaven.

When I had that calling several years ago (right when my health stuff started), it was also such a blessing. There’s nothing like being “forced” to get into the scriptures more, and feeling the Spirit work in a class as people share from their hearts. (We have an amazing area for that kind of dynamic — people are just willing to share, and it makes classes at church so awesome…and makes teaching a joy!)
Selwyn
October 20th, 2009 @ 10:31 pm

All my callings have blessed me, even when I’ve been determined not to appreciate or acknowledge the fact!

I’m a dependable person, I’ve always been the person people approach to fill a hole/class/lesson/need. I’ve learnt to not be a perfectionist about it all, though, and just do what is needed, to the amount I can realistically do.

Also, I have to add that I love all those that choose to clean up and put away. At any potluck I am normally (always) in the kitchen washing or drying – I’m just not comfortable making small talk or just chatting in the main area. Turns out the kitchen’s the most fun place to be – I’ve had the most entertaining talks about all sorts of things and met a range of people I would never have known where even in my ward/branch if I’d been elsewhere.

Glad for the roast recipes too!
Paula
October 26th, 2009 @ 11:57 pm

I don’t know how well this mamma’s experiences will work with this post, but I have a son who is always “willing” to work. He signs up for everything that comes his way. He is learning to play piano and cello, is a “friendly helper” at school, is running for student government (elections are next week) and he never stops moving. I’ve watched him. He doesn’t. Is it my responsibility to tell him that he can’t do everything he wants to do unless he does each thing well? Do I even have a role to play in reining him in? I see him as an essential part of every social group he is in. Kids much younger and much older than him are in our yard daily to play with him (and it aint because of the landscaping!) and be near him. I joke that he is the Pied Piper with the instruments of Burt (Dick Van Dyke) from Mary Poppins. I rely on him more than the other children here at home as well. Not because he’s older, but because he’s willing to do it. Please, please tell me he’s not in for a lot of worry and stress. Just trying to decide if that’s a good thing, I guess. I am not defending flakes, here, I like to think I’m dependable, but can one be too “willing” or too dependable? Is our church service our hobby? Do church activities and volunteer clipboard items take up all of our spare time? Another question, do women in the Church spend too much time picking apart our valuable service when the Lord would tell us that will do?
sumant
November 21st, 2009 @ 4:32 am

I am really pleased to go through the post; it has really caught my attention. And thank you very much for the post.