Working Ourselves Out of a Job

Posted by Marintha | May 12, 2010 | 42 Comments

I served a mission in place where the church was new. When I arrived the most experience a member had was being a member for 4 years, most had less. Because of this the missionaries served as Branch Presidents and Relief Society Presidents and in every other capacity necessary. My mission president would tell us that our job was to work ourselves out of a job. In large part that meant taking new members under our wing. A missionary serving as Branch President would choose two newly baptized members (or one) to be his counselors and train them to be Branch President. The best scenario would be new members serving as Branch President and counselor, while a missionary served as the other counselor, offering love and support to the brothers he assisted as he encouraged them in their new capacity. Serving as both Relief Society President and missionary, I worked with newly baptized sisters and less active sisters to train them, or in one case find and teach someone that, through the inspiration of the spirit I knew would fill that role when I left. I don’t see the role of leaders in the church anywhere I have lived since then that much different. But something troubles me.

I often see people passed over for callings because they aren’t deemed to have enough experience, are too new in the church, don’t know the church culture sufficiently, or are supposed not to have a foundation that comes from being a member for decades. Sometimes it’s because the person is from another culture, has an accent, or dresses poorer than or better than the rest of the local body of the church. I don’t fault leaders for doing this, it’s just a bad habit from being in a big church and in places where the church is well established. I also don’t think members realize what is happening when they make these snap judgments. The problem is that people get baptized, and then without love and tutelage, will years, even decades, wallow in the same place they started, often without a calling.

It is not easy to be a new member of the church. New members need to feel needed. They need to feel like they have something to contribute and are often overwhelmed with feelings of inadequacy. When new members aren’t given a chance year after year to take leadership roles, they tend to feel even less adequate, never quite caught up to the learning curve in the gospel. When we don’t give new members callings we miss out on what they have to offer. Their experiences with the grace of Jesus in their lives will strengthen us and help us feel the spirit on our own spiritual journey.

Recently while serving in my own calling I spoke with a sister who has been a member of the church for many years. She asked me that she please not be asked to teach, convinced she didn’t know enough and would say something wrong. “I haven’t read enough church books“, she explained. She insisted that she hadn’t read any books by apostles or prophets (something she thought was important), but read stacks of Mormon fiction, seemingly still trying to figure out and fit into the culture. I wondered if she had been taken under someone’s wing and team-taught primary, Sunday school, Relief Society, Young Women or served in some other capacity if she would feel more adequate. Maybe if she was sooner called to serve as a counselor in the Primary presidency or Relief Society presidency, to serve alongside sisters that truly cared about her and had faith in her even though she had never taught primary before, or was not familiar with how Relief Society is run, she would feel like she had something to offer. If we always call seasoned leaders and teachers, none of us will best be able to grow and develop.

Not mixing things up makes church stale in both how the members relate to one another and in our capacities to develop charity, compassion, and trust in the Lord. Surely if there is anything we should do in the church it is be patient with each other when a mistake is made while teaching a lesson, or an accent once in a while makes us rely a little more on the spirit to understand the heartfelt testimony of someone not quite like us, or when someone uses words that are more familiar to them when expressing their faith–maybe words they brought with them from a former religious denomination. We need to realize that new sisters and brothers have important things to teach us. We need to realize we need them as much as they need to feel needed.

How have you incorporated others into your church service or worked yourself out of a job? Do you see better retention with new members given teaching and leadership opportunities than those given less prominent callings (“entry level“ callings)? How do you help members who were never given a chance get a chance now and feel comfortable teaching or serving in various capacities? How have you been blessed by the service of new members?

Category: Daily Special

Comments

42 Responses to “Working Ourselves Out of a Job”

David at Mission-Wear
May 12th, 2010 @ 12:57 am

Elder Bednar spoke at our Stake Conference and during the priesthood session I asked what the biggest challenges were for the church. His answer related to the very point, particularly in developing countries.

Thanks for another thought provoking post.

David
Ginger
May 12th, 2010 @ 3:50 am

Hmmm, I haven’t found this to be the case anywhere I have lived, including two different wards in California and now in Indiana. And contrary to popular belief, there are lots of saints to choose from here in the heart of Indiana.

In fact, a year ago our ward was split into two in order to “allow more people the opportunity for growth through callings”. In other words, they wanted more people to have leadership opportunities, so they split the ward.

I think this is one of those things that could be affected by the SP and Bishop… something that training from the top down could really make a difference with if it is a problem in some areas.
britt
May 12th, 2010 @ 6:17 am

I think you really have to know what a person needs. Sticking a new member in a primary class could go well, they learn the basics of the scriptures and such, but they might also feel isolated from the rest of the ward. Understanding the person takes more than a prayer and contemplation you need to talk to them, work with them and really try to see their needs from their perspective
SilverRain
May 12th, 2010 @ 6:57 am

“It is not easy to be a new member of the church. New members need to feel needed. They need to feel like they have something to contribute and are often overwhelmed with feelings of inadequacy. When new members aren’t given a chance year after year to take leadership roles, they tend to feel even less adequate, never quite caught up to the learning curve in the gospel. When we don’t give new members callings we miss out on what they have to offer. Their experiences with the grace of Jesus in their lives will strengthen us and help us feel the spirit on our own spiritual journey.”

Take out the word “new” and you’ve just described me, a lifelong member, in the Church. Except, I don’t care about “leadership” roles, per se, I would just like to do something useful that stretches me a little.

Interesting.
sar
May 12th, 2010 @ 7:59 am

I have to agree with SilverRain that this phenomenon happens to “lifelong members” as well. In one of my old wards the leadership actually called the group of people they consistently called on for leadership and other high-profile callings the “A-team.” Funnily enough, this “A-team” also coincided with the main clique in that ward, made up of people of the same race, class, and political leanings.

But I do agree that this is a troubling trend with new converts.
Course Correction
May 12th, 2010 @ 8:16 am

When I was a member of a RS presidency, back in the days of weekday RS meetings, we raised eyebrows by calling a non-member to serve as Social Relations teacher. Joan was married to a member and attended with her husband, but had not committed to baptism–primarily because of opposition from her parents.

Joan was a creative teacher and taught wonderful lessons. As she grew from her calling and the friendship of the sisters in the ward, she was able to committ to baptism.
lee
May 12th, 2010 @ 8:33 am

I have been in many wards and many leadership positions. The number one reason I’ve seen that people don’t get callings is totally simple: They are not reliable about SHOWING UP. That’s it. All other weaknesses can be worked around, but someone who won’t show up won’t be called. Oh if people only understood that.
Matt
May 12th, 2010 @ 8:35 am

My experience has been that wise leaders understand this and work actively to ensure that members are placed in positions that allow personal growth. I agree with Ginger, in that a little training from the top down can do a lot of good if there is a problem in this area.

However, I believe there are many more factors that come into play here. It takes time for a leader to figure out how to effectively staff a ward or branch. It’s a little like doing one of those sliding number puzzles, only with 200 numbered squares and one blank hole.

I also think that, when it comes to callings, things are not always how they appear. The bishop knows things that we do not know. He often has a good view into broader family and personal problems that are not apparent to neighbors and friends. We also have no way to know who may have been extended callings and rejected them.
April
May 12th, 2010 @ 8:36 am

I’ve been in lots of Wards and Branches in the North East and it just depends on who the leaders are. I also find that lots of life long members need to be loved and helped into new callings also. Some people like to call the strongest to the leadership positions. I think it is better if you mix it up, for example in a presidency two strong people in a leadership role with two who are learning. Here we paired new members with expierenced teachers in junior primary. Then we let the new member attended Relief Society third hour. That way they get expierence teaching and serving but also get the fellowship of the Sisters.
There is no easy answer but I’ve always thought all the women of the church should get to go to the MTC whether they go on a mission or not, that experience for me was invaluable.
EmilyCC
May 12th, 2010 @ 8:39 am

Marintha, what a wonderful post! I was in one ward where the same 10 people rotated through all the leadership callings. They were all amazing and went above and beyond, but somehow, it just didn’t feel quite right.

In our current ward, our bishop asked our primary president that she have one experienced counselor but keep rotating younger women and new converts in the other two positions. Their contributions have been so insightful and out-of-the-box.
Hanna
May 12th, 2010 @ 9:10 am

I thought that callings were supposed to be from the Holy Spirit, and wouldn’t the Holy Spirit be immune to someone not having “enough” experience, having an accent, dressing poorer or better, etc?
Natasha
May 12th, 2010 @ 10:10 am

Thanks for a great post. Recently, in my parent’s ward a sister who has only been a member for two years was called as a Primary president. Her two counselors are life-long members, and able to give her support in her new calling.

In my current calling, one of my teachers in RS (who is a convert) has only ever had a calling leading music! Also, my secretary and one of my counselors are both converts. I am grateful they have the opportunity to lead as they gain experience for future callings.
Strollerblader
May 12th, 2010 @ 10:20 am

While I definitely agree that new members need nurturing in the Church, I disagree with your assumption that they aren’t getting callings.

In the wards I’ve been in, yes, there are the “typical” leadership powerhouse-types in some of the positions, but there are also brand new converts, members whose language is not English, non-members, octogenarians, less actives, and newly-minted just-out-of-YM/YW members, and everything else in between.

I would have to agree with Lee (above) that the biggest reason someone may be released from a calling they’ve been called to, is simply because they do not show up. And it’s not for lack of fellow “colleagues” helping them to learn the ropes and feel confident and giving them opportunities to step out and making sure that they know the expectations of showing up.

If someone doesn’t have a calling in my ward, it is because they have chosen it to be that way. There is only so much you can do to convince someone that they are capable of a calling and needed.
Justine
May 12th, 2010 @ 10:23 am

Living in Northern Michigan, there were six adults in our branch, along with around a dozen children. The adults were thrown into every calling necessary to maintain that small branch. I remember Primary meetings in the kitchen of one sister, meeting in the basement of an old department store where the Sacrament was passed on plates.

I think those times where people are put in a position to rise, they will mostly rise. Given a job and accountability is often just what it takes. And it was a great lesson that the church doesn’t have to look the same as it does in huge wards to still be true. There were obviously far fewer expectations of that small branch, but we made a successful experience out of it, all leaving with stronger testimonies. None of us were life-long members of the church, but stumbling along and feeling uncomfortable in our callings was just what we needed to gain that confidence.
Allison
May 12th, 2010 @ 11:02 am

Great post! Reminds me of an article, “My Ways Are Not Your Ways” by Elder Clayton M. Christensen, that was in the Feb 2007 Ensign:

http://www.lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.jsp?hideNav=1&locale=0&sourceId=1c7a3c7842470110VgnVCM100000176f620a____&vgnextoid=2354fccf2b7db010VgnVCM1000004d82620aRCRD
Kelli
May 12th, 2010 @ 11:07 am

I currently serve as the Primary President in my ward. Recently, I felt the prompting to call a Sister as my 2nd counselor who has never served in the primary. To say we were all surprised was an understatement! But I realized that it is not who I want to serve with, but who the Lord wants to serve. If we are listening to the Spirit, we will know whom the Lord wishes to serve in what positions–for reasons sometimes only known by Him.
Paul
May 12th, 2010 @ 12:07 pm

What a great post. Thanks!

Thanks also to #15 Allison for the link to Elder Clayton Christiansen’s talk. When he visited our stake a number of years ago he spoke about this very topic and the risk of using the same ten families over and over. He suggested we needed to see new faces on our ward councils regularly so others could learn and grow. Good counsel.

When I returned from a work assignment in Venezuela, I was particularly senstive to this issue because the bishop who replaced me there had been a member for two years. And the one who replaced him (when he was called as a counselor in the mission presidency) had been a member for a year.

I found myself regularly reminding a good friend of mine who served in our US stake presidency that time in the church alone isn’t a requirement for callings.
CS Eric
May 12th, 2010 @ 12:15 pm

Because I play the piano and am willing to play the organ, I always know EXACTLY what callings I am getting when we move into a new ward or branch. Sometimes I wait until I am pushed into it to admit I play because I’d like to do something else once in a while.

If you want to talk about the importance of showing up, I can tell you this–just about any other person in the ward can go out of town, or stay home sick, and there will be someone else to fill in for them. That simply ain’t true when nobody else can (or will) play the organ for sacrament meeting.
Red
May 12th, 2010 @ 12:23 pm

This reminds me of Pres. Uchtdorf’s conference talk last month about accepting and embracing everyone, even the “tin can Mormons.”

Although there have been times when I don’t feel so zen about it, lately it has occurred to me, often, that the Church of Jesus Christ is big enough for all of us: people who make judgment calls I don’t agree with, people I don’t agree with politically (and the people I do agree with), women who dress up too much for church, people who run YM/YW as a social club. There’s still room for them and for me. And that is the beauty of this gospel.
Paul
May 12th, 2010 @ 12:27 pm

Sorry to post two comments back to back. Something we’ve done in some wards I’ve been in is to have the ward council generate a list of callings for new members. This was especially important in Venezuela where we had 75 baptisms one year and 50 the next.

Discussing it in ward council allowed us to do a couple of things: it made each organization leader think about how new members could be incorporated into his/her area of stewardship, and it spread the responsibility for watching over the newest members of the flock to the whole ward council.
Marintha
May 12th, 2010 @ 12:55 pm

I feel from some of the comments I need to clarify–this isn’t a post to whine about how leaders aren’t doing their jobs. I am currently in a leadership position, so this post has arisen out of decisions we are making now, and how best to meet the needs of sisters in our ward. Certainly there are lots of consideration, and the Bishop very often knows the bottom line when we don’t. But I think, at least in my area, we can do better. The spirit plays a role, but the reality is that God gave us heads and expects us to use them.

I also never said new members didn’t get callings, or make broad statements that the whole church is doing it wrong (I’m looking at you Strollerblader). But I think it is a huge (and wrong) assumption that people who don’t have callings simply don’t want one. And if they don’t, why not? Often they just don’t feel confident.

Ginger,
Sure, it isn’t like that everywhere.

Britt,
True, we do need to aware of everyone’s needs.

Silver Rain & Sar,
Touche. We need to be aware of all members.

EmilyCC,
I love that idea.

Justine,
Exactly.
Mark Brown
May 12th, 2010 @ 1:16 pm

In general, I think we tend to overvalue the amount of experience or gospel knowledge that is required to be successful as a teacher or church leader.

A good ward might have a very knowledgeable and experienced person as a gospel doctrine teacher. But a great ward might have a relative newbie as a teacher, with enough wise and charitable people in the class to ensure that the new teacher had a good experience.
mormonhermitmom
May 12th, 2010 @ 1:19 pm

There are some wards that don’t have a lot of “turnover”. My parents’ ward is getting like that. Yes, they have their young families and itinerant college renters, but they are dwindling as the core of the ward ages. I think they end up rotating the same people because of that. The new ones are utilized as much as possible but when the younger ones don’t stay long, the core is what you have left.
jendoop
May 12th, 2010 @ 1:25 pm

I am thrilled to say I recently worked myself out of two jobs. We were in a Spanish branch that wasn’t able to sustain itself, so a few non-Latins were brought in. I served as YW president, one of my counselors is now the president and doing wonderfully. She is a convert and a single mother.

After that I served in Primary as a counselor, the other counselor that was called was difficult to work with – she didn’t show up and we often had communication issues. We were encouraged to continue working with her even though it was very frustrating. She is now the Primary president.

Now I serve at a stake level and I’m glad for those experiences. When we talk about people who might serve in various capacities I enthusiastically suggest names that others don’t think of. I believe in the power of opportunity and of God helping a person rise to their call.

And while we’re on the topic I have to address a pet peeve – I hate it when a person is considered qualified to serve because they are related to a GA. Satan is Christ’s brother but I wouldn’t want him giving a fireside talk.
Marintha
May 12th, 2010 @ 1:54 pm

“After that I served in Primary as a counselor, the other counselor that was called was difficult to work with – she didn’t show up and we often had communication issues. We were encouraged to continue working with her even though it was very frustrating. She is now the Primary president.”

Jendoop,
We so often give up on people too soon. Thanks for the reminder to stick with a person. I’m grateful for second chances, and third chances–and for a God who doesn’t give up on me.
Paradox
May 12th, 2010 @ 2:35 pm

I was that new member, and at 16 no less. Within 4 months of my baptism, I was having “incidents” you hear about on the Church News about teachers accosting students for their faith.

When I went to Church, there really weren’t very many opportunities for members to take me seriously because Young Women don’t usually have callings, and I was a new member. There was a divide between what church members were giving me and what I needed to grow.

The way I handled the situation was to make a commitment to bear my testimony in every fast and testimony meeting I attend. I have done this since I was baptized, and it was a good way for me to find a place where I could do some good and magnify my talents. Formal callings do not need to be extended for new members to have those kinds of experiences.
Marintha
May 12th, 2010 @ 2:56 pm

Paradox,

“Formal callings do not need to be extended for new members to have those kinds of experiences.”

Sure, that goes for all of us. It is easier for some new members than others. I’m impressed by you at 16–that was a great goal.

However part of the point of this post was that
we need them. We need new members in callings for our sakes.
Selwyn aka Kellie
May 12th, 2010 @ 4:07 pm

I always try to do myself out of my calling. Though sometimes I’ve found I’m released because I have accomplished whatever it was that I needed to do in that role, not necessarily helping those I serve to take my role. I was called once as first councillor, with the setting apart stating I was there to help my President learn HER calling.

Then again, this Sunday is the last time I’ll teach the youth, because I’m “needed more elsewhere”. I’m sad because I love the youth I teach, and I’m off to a calling I’ve never held before.

But I absolutely agree that doing myself out of my job is the goal, for everyone’s benefit.

Thanks for the thinking material Marintha!
Angie f
May 12th, 2010 @ 6:52 pm

I served a similar mission–always in small branches in areas where the church was new and/or struggling. And even there, there were times when missionaries served too long, because the district presidents were reticent, or when certain members weren’t given opportunities for service because they didn’t have the “look” of a leader (or the money to own a suit coat). Sometimes it takes bravery and the Spirit to bust out of preconceived notions.

In my current stateside life (and having lived from the South, to Utah, to inner city midwest, to the Southwest), I find there are many reasons leaders get into ruts–tired of being turned down, laziness, prejudice, cliquishness, but also it often comes down to needing to be able to delegate a task to someone dependable (and being burned out by the previously flaky) and so the same tried and true get overused instead of trusting the untested to be dependable. Also, a lot of times I think we make assumptions– for example, if enough pregnant women tell the bishop they need to be released before the baby is born, he may begin to believe that mothers of newborns can’t hold callings as a general rule.

DH is the bishop and he will run calling ideas past me when he and his counselors are stuck (the Stake Pres told him he should do this, that I am his first and unreleasable counselor). He will often tell me (without names) of all the crazy comments people give him when asked to serve–the most unfathomable to me always being “but I’ve already done that.” I am so grateful to NOT have his stewardship, to try to discern the Spirit effectively to know when to try and help people past their preconceived notions and worries and when to let them be and find someone different, when and how to try and help ward leaders make better/different recommendations and how to balance each organization and their “strong impressions” for the same person off each other.
Kay
May 13th, 2010 @ 1:34 am

Who are we to judge? I have been on enough presidencies to know that things are not always as they seem. You would be surprised how many turn down callings, or how often we are told no by the Bishopric. We do not know peoples lives or their hearts. We only see the outside. There is nothing wrong with having experienced or inexperienced members in callings, they each have something different to offer. It is for us to accept whatever the Lord and the Bishop has chosen. Why is it o.k. to badmouth and second guess the Bishop about his choices? It’s not, ever. We are asked in our reccommend interviews if we sustain our leaders. It is easy to say yes, but do we really in our hearts? Sorry, off my soapbox now. Please remember though that every little thing like this hurts your Bishop’s wife and his children.
Marintha
May 13th, 2010 @ 8:56 am

Kay,
I am not badmouthing the Bishop. Did you read the comments? I am in a leadership position and am struggling how to best do this now.

I’m sorry you have been hurt as the Bishop’s wife–but this is absolutely not about that–so don’t make it that.
Kay
May 13th, 2010 @ 12:21 pm

I’m sorry Marintha, but your second paragraph certainly comes across that way to me. You claim that people are overlooked for a variety of reasons, to do with background and church experience among other things. It is pure speculation on your part. You do not know that the Bishop ‘overlooked’ them, whatever that means. You do not know why these people did not have certain callings, anymore than why some are always busy with callings. You can only guess and claim it to be bad judgement/habit on the part of the Bishopric.

Some wards are huge, especially in the states, and it may be difficult to find suitable callings for everyone. We only ever see part of the picture. I did not mean to offend you with my comments, like you I say it as I see it.
Marintha
May 13th, 2010 @ 1:47 pm

Kay,
I never even mentioned a Bishop in the post. I am talking about myself, in my calling–and how I can do better (and church leaders in general). This has nothing to do with my Bishop, who is brand new, and has hardly had a chance to make callings.

I understand you have been hurt, but when you look at the whole world through those glasses, you are on the defense, looking for offense to defend bishops everywhere. Please read this post with those glasses off.
Michelle
May 13th, 2010 @ 2:45 pm

Marintha,

Your last sentence to Kay was unkind and offensive to me. I know neither one of you and yet the last thought in my mind regarding this blog is you two going back and forth with contention in your words. This s the LORD’S church, we are in His service, if any of us have questions I would think we would go to Him in prayer and receive those answers. It may not always be the answer we are looking for, trust me on that one, however, humility to the Lord’s will and having faith in Him should sustain us overall.

I agree and liked the comment of bearing one’s testimony as often as one can, and assisting our ward missionaries in their teaching is ALWAYS fulfilling, as well as keeping us back to the basics. May the Lord’s blessings be with you Marintha and with you Kay as well as your families.

Charity and Compassion Never Faileth.
Marintha
May 13th, 2010 @ 4:47 pm

Baffled sigh.
Emily M.
May 13th, 2010 @ 5:19 pm

Kay, I also read the initial post as expressing concern with the way that bishops handle callings. But when Marintha clarified in the comments that she meant auxiliary leaders and ward members rather than bishops, I went back and reread and realized that she’s talking more about the process that ward leaders go through as they recommend people to be called. Bishops don’t choose all the names for every calling themselves; my understanding is that the auxiliary leaders play a very large role in who gets which calling within their respective organizations. I am pretty sure that the unintentional ambiguity in the original post was not intended in any way as a criticism of bishops.

As a wife of a bishopric member, I have sometimes heard echoes of dissatisfaction about this or that calling situation. It makes me sad, because I know the bishopric spends many, many hours working on keeping the ward going. If those people only knew! Nothing is more hurtful than giving everything you have to a calling only to have others critique your efforts.

But I see this post more as a call for self-awareness rather than a critique. I think this post is an important reminder that the purpose of calling someone is not just for the calling to be fulfilled. It’s also for us to lift and strengthen and train those around us so that we can make our wards a little closer to Zion.

Michelle, I am sorry if you have felt a spirit of contention here. I truly don’t think either Kay or Marintha meant to offend–I see this as trying to understand what the other person meant and explain ourselves.
Melissa Y.
May 13th, 2010 @ 5:21 pm

Michelle, my guess is that Marintha has already prayed about callings and how they are administered many times and is using this forum to work out her thoughts. As wonderful as prayer is, it’s also helpful to talk to other people about their experiences.

Kay, I’m sorry if you’ve been hurt. When I read the second paragraph, I felt like the “overlooking” had happened on many levels. I’ve been in presidency meetings in various organizations where we’ve been discussing names for callings and have tried to figure out what would work best for everyone involved. Names are usually discussed multiple times by several people and a lot of factors are considered. I think most people know that the process is more complicated than inspiration=calling (though sometimes it can be that simple). I think Marintha’s post was more a call for introspection than a criticism of leadership. It’s given me something to think about.
Kay
May 14th, 2010 @ 1:53 am

I am sorry to have been the cause of any contention.
Marintha
May 14th, 2010 @ 8:48 am

Kay,
No worries. I don’t think there was any. Your comments were fine.
Johnna
May 14th, 2010 @ 9:39 am

One thing I’ve always appreciated about the church, although so periphery to the gospel, is the way having callings gave my very shy mother a series of experiences through her callings, so that she found out she could be and was good at things that she had been never considered herself capable of.
jendoop
May 14th, 2010 @ 2:38 pm

Johnna, That’s neat about your mom. It happens for most of us I think, it does for me anyway. We are able to associate with amazing people in the church, work with them closely and learn from them and their experiences.
Sage
May 17th, 2010 @ 3:48 am

Just yesterday I was smiling as our RS sister from Africa taught a beautiful lesson. She struggled with words (even asking what some meant) and was not very articulate. But her love for the gospel shone through and I felt the class members were patient and helpful. Then, I was set apart with three others for our RS presidency–the first cnslr (I’m the 2nd) being her first time in a presidency. She has expresssed self-doubt and we have all told her we need her.

I live in the northeast.

I love how the church works.

Thanks for this post.