Though I don’t recommend reading it if you are recovering from a bad cold, coughing and dealing w/all that goes w/it for the crying induced by this thread makes it worse.

I’m late to this thread, just heard about this site tonight. And though I am single and never married, etc I do care for and appreciate your openness in sharing these experiences. Hopefully it will help me be better at helping/caring for those in my life who have to undergo this trial.

LITTLE SPIRIT

There once was a spirit child who was ready to come to earth. As he gazed over the clouds and down to earth he looked at all the beautiful places he could grow up in. A calm voice spoke to him, “You are ready little one. I have saved you for this opportunity, and now it’s time. Where would you like to go?”
The little spirit, with his big eyes, looked closer at the land which his Father had made for him. He saw tropical islands, beautiful to the eye. Birds sang to the sunrise. Green plants grew tall and ocean waves patted the sandy shores. There a family lived in a house at the end of a white sandy beach. “Would you like to grow up there little one?” The voice asked, “You will grow to be a strong man. You will be raised without a care in the world, with beauty surrounding you everyday of your life.” The little spirit looked on and said, “This is a beautiful place, but I worry that I may lose track of why you wanted me to come to earth. I may not want to leave the island. I may become too lazy and not work as hard as I know I can. May I look at another spot.” The voice replied, “Of course, my child.”
Next the little spirit looked to a land of great riches. It was a big city with many people. He saw a palace with steps of gold, and gardens that stretched for miles. This home had many rooms and everything you desired at the tip of your fingers. It had stables full of horses, garages packed with cars, and servants to cater to your every whim. The voice said, “What do you think about this spot? You will never have to work a day in your life. You will grow up to be a rich and powerful man. People will respect you for all you have.” The little spirit stood in awe, looking at such a rich existence, glanced back toward the voice and replied, “Although it would be nice to be wealthy, I did not earn this money. You have taught me that you should work for all you get. I don’t think that I would like people to respect me for what I possess.”
“Father maybe I’m not ready to go yet?” The little spirit began to weep. “Maybe there is no place for me?” Then he felt strong arms wrap around him, and his weeping ceased. He felt love, warmth, and comfort. He looked up at the person holding him, and this gentle man kissed him on the forehead and said, “Worry not my son I have the perfect place for you. Don’t cry, you passed your test. Look down and see your home.” The little spirit climbed down to look over the clouds once again. He saw a land with huge mountains surrounding a valley, he saw many temples that resembled the ones in heaven. He saw many good people singing to his Father, and he felt the love of his brothers and sisters. The little spirit jumped for joy, clapped his hands, and sang. He had found his place.
Now the voice whispered, “Pick a family to grow with.” The little spirit with a big smile looked for a family. He looked all over the land and found a family that seemed nice. The little spirit watched the for awhile. They attended church, they were married and sealed in the temple, and they prayed to their Heavenly Father. The parents came from a very loving and spiritual family. They loved people from all over the world. They enjoyed God’s creations, and they were ready to receive him. This was a family with humble beginnings, but could teach him of his mission on earth, and help him reach his potential. The little spirit turned back to his Father, ran to him, and hugged him goodbye. This time it was the Father weeping. So the little spirit wrapped his arms around him and gave him a kiss on the forehead. “You can go now, you have a lot to prepare for before March Thirtieth, Two Thousand Three”, said the Father.

The little spirit leaped from his fathers lap and ran to the edge of the cloud. His father told him to close his eyes. The little spirit slowly closed them, and with a deep breath found himself in thought. He could see nothing, but felt the warmth and comfort of another presence. He could not talk to them, but he felt love surrounding him. He heard the voices of two people. He remembered the earthly parents he had chosen, and could not wait to meet them. He could feel the rhythmic beating of his mothers heart, and knew each was full of love. He could hear her laugh and knew his father loved her with all his might. As time went by the little spirit was feeling more and more at home. Then a tranquil, still voice came to the little spirit. It spoke to him, “Little one, are you there?” “Yes I am still here, awaiting my mission on earth. Who are you?” “I am your Only Begotten Brother, I bring with me a message from our Father.” “What is it, can you tell me?” “Yes, Father would like you to come home now little one, your mission is complete.” The little spirit did not understand. “Are you sure, I just got here, I have yet to meet my earthly parents.” “You know them better than you think. You can feel the love they have for you. You can also feel the love their family has for you. Your father has a special mission just for you. You see, your earthly parents love you so much, and father sees that. With a heart as big as yours, you do not need to stay here. You have fulfilled your mission on earth.” “What about them? How will they feel? I do not want to hurt them. Will they understand why I have to go?” “Yes, that is the reason Father helped you chose them.”
The little spirit took hold of his Brothers hand. He spoke to the little one, “Lets go now, let the Angels lead you in.” As they walked back to heaven, the Angels stood proud and tall for the little spirit. He could hear his earthly parents weep for him. He heard them sing. “May angels lead you in.” He looked to his big Brother and knew they would be fine, just by the way he looked back at him. Upon his return, his Heavenly Father was there with streams of tears running down his cheeks, for he knew what it felt like to loose his first son. His tears were so strong it rained in the valley as a sign to the parents that the little spirit was home. It rained for the span of two days. The parents knew Heavenly Father was weeping with them.

The Earthly Father

Everytime I go through something hard, I’m reminded that there are so many people suffering–you walk down the street and you have no idea what’s happening behind the neutral faces.

Your words remind me of a favorite quote of mine from Chieko Okazaki, about how the Savior understands ALL of human experience, including experiences that come only to women. I believe this.

I feel that with my miscarriages that the vessels that I had in my body were not right for the spirits to inhabit them. I had a deeply personal and special priesthood blessing a couple years ago and I KNOW that the things told me will come to pass. I do not doubt that. I will have children, I will be a mother, I will get to use the white blessing blanket that my Grama crocheted for me over 4 years ago.

Miscarriage is a horrible thing. Sometimes I come across the ultrasound pictures of my little baby… and I still cry. I agree with Heather O.

It is a loss, it is difficult, physically, emotionally and spiritually. But, Heavenly Father has a plan and He is aware of us. He sent his son to be our Savior. As it says in Isaiah 59: “…a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief….surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows…”

He did so much more than atone for our sins. He carried all of our sorrows and griefs. He alone knows how we feel. That gives me a tremendous amount of peace.

But the second was fairly devastating, physically and emotionally. I think my body went through many more changes and it took me quite awhile to get back to normal hormonally. I was more attached to that little spirit.

My miscarriage occurred between the live births of my three children. I’ve heard of many women who miscarry between children–I suppose it’s more common than we realize.

But I know a woman who has only one son because she developed a disorder after his birth and was never able to carry another child to term. I can’t imagine the toll that took on her body and her spirit. I know that she had many miscarriages and had to be hospitalized and given IV’s of blood as well.

When I had my first miscarriage, in 1972, times were different. My doctors were less compassionate and informed. I think the young women of today are fortunate indeed in having kind and educated caregivers to help them deal.