Comments on: Article discussion: Keeping my Passport, or Sorry, you’re stuck, sister! http://segullah.org/segullah-article-discussions/article-discussion-keeping-my-passport-or-sorry-youre-stuck-sister/ Mormon women blogging about the peculiar and the treasured Thu, 24 May 2012 06:16:17 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.2 By: Dalene http://segullah.org/segullah-article-discussions/article-discussion-keeping-my-passport-or-sorry-youre-stuck-sister/#comment-71144 Dalene Mon, 17 Mar 2008 20:44:34 +0000 http://segullah.org/segullah-article-discussions/article-discussion-keeping-my-passport-or-sorry-youre-stuck-sister/#comment-71144 What was I thinking? Hanging on to my passport would have been so much simpler than praying to get hit by a bus. Yes. I can identify with the need for escape. We kind of had this saying in the mission field, "This wasn't in the brochure." I feel that way about certain aspects of my post-mission life, too. Or maybe they were in the brochure and I just forgot to read the fine print. How do I get away? On most days the best I can get is a few deep breaths, sincere pleading in prayer, a couple of minutes with my face in the sun or a 9-minute power nap. And then I count myself lucky. What was I thinking? Hanging on to my passport would have been so much simpler than praying to get hit by a bus.

Yes. I can identify with the need for escape. We kind of had this saying in the mission field, “This wasn’t in the brochure.” I feel that way about certain aspects of my post-mission life, too. Or maybe they were in the brochure and I just forgot to read the fine print.

How do I get away? On most days the best I can get is a few deep breaths, sincere pleading in prayer, a couple of minutes with my face in the sun or a 9-minute power nap. And then I count myself lucky.

]]> By: angie f http://segullah.org/segullah-article-discussions/article-discussion-keeping-my-passport-or-sorry-youre-stuck-sister/#comment-71139 angie f Mon, 17 Mar 2008 20:33:54 +0000 http://segullah.org/segullah-article-discussions/article-discussion-keeping-my-passport-or-sorry-youre-stuck-sister/#comment-71139 There were days in the beginning of my mission that the only reason I stuck around was my inability to say (or understand the answer) "how do you get to the airport). It never even occurred to me that I didn't have my passport. Chieko Okasaki wrote a book 10+ years ago where she talked about the blessings of angelic answers, but that in order for our agency to be truly that, the angels have to go home. We have to choose on our own, with no pixie dust or warm fuzzy feelings so that when things are rough, we can't fall back on any sort of coerced feeling. I love Emily Watts and her "surviving blessings" idea, for it helps me to cultivate that knowledge that I know my choices and my blessings and I can own them. Ownership helps me cultivate gratitude and see the far reaching chosen path even when the daily impact that path has on me seems to be something I may not have meant to choose (I chose the babies, but did I choose the colic or the sleep deprivation?) That helps me to hold nothing back, for there really is no day off. There were days in the beginning of my mission that the only reason I stuck around was my inability to say (or understand the answer) “how do you get to the airport). It never even occurred to me that I didn’t have my passport. Chieko Okasaki wrote a book 10+ years ago where she talked about the blessings of angelic answers, but that in order for our agency to be truly that, the angels have to go home. We have to choose on our own, with no pixie dust or warm fuzzy feelings so that when things are rough, we can’t fall back on any sort of coerced feeling. I love Emily Watts and her “surviving blessings” idea, for it helps me to cultivate that knowledge that I know my choices and my blessings and I can own them. Ownership helps me cultivate gratitude and see the far reaching chosen path even when the daily impact that path has on me seems to be something I may not have meant to choose (I chose the babies, but did I choose the colic or the sleep deprivation?) That helps me to hold nothing back, for there really is no day off.

]]> By: Claudia http://segullah.org/segullah-article-discussions/article-discussion-keeping-my-passport-or-sorry-youre-stuck-sister/#comment-71124 Claudia Mon, 17 Mar 2008 20:08:56 +0000 http://segullah.org/segullah-article-discussions/article-discussion-keeping-my-passport-or-sorry-youre-stuck-sister/#comment-71124 Sometimes the best thing to do is take a day off. Sometimes the best thing to do is stay put. The article seemed to intimate that keeping a door open is holding something back and not giving all that is required. So I am not completely comfortable with the Neal Maxwell statement about holding things back unless we are talking about sin. Suffering and sorrow are a part of life and we cannot escape from it we can only learn from it. Like someone I learned to admire said. "Life never gets any easier. You just have to learn to roll with the punches." Sometimes the best thing to do is take a day off. Sometimes the best thing to do is stay put. The article seemed to intimate that keeping a door open is holding something back and not giving all that is required. So I am not completely comfortable with the Neal Maxwell statement about holding things back unless we are talking about sin.

Suffering and sorrow are a part of life and we cannot escape from it we can only learn from it. Like someone I learned to admire said. “Life never gets any easier. You just have to learn to roll with the punches.”

]]> By: Wendy http://segullah.org/segullah-article-discussions/article-discussion-keeping-my-passport-or-sorry-youre-stuck-sister/#comment-71119 Wendy Mon, 17 Mar 2008 19:57:01 +0000 http://segullah.org/segullah-article-discussions/article-discussion-keeping-my-passport-or-sorry-youre-stuck-sister/#comment-71119 Elizabeth, I love Frankl's book. Your comment about it reminds me of M. Scott Peck's book, The Road Less Travelled. The first chapter begins with your idea about life being hard: "Life is difficult. "This is a great truth, one of the greatest truths. It is a great truth because once we truly see this truth, we transcend it. Once we truly know that life is difficult--once we truly understand and accept it--then life is no longer difficult. Because once it is accepted, the fact that life is difficult no longer matters." I think your attitude that "we ought to be grateful things aren't harder than they are most of the time" is one I could adopt! Even though I intellectually get the whole life is hard thing, I don't think I have completely accepted it yet. Duh. :) Elizabeth, I love Frankl’s book. Your comment about it reminds me of M. Scott Peck’s book, The Road Less Travelled. The first chapter begins with your idea about life being hard:

“Life is difficult.
“This is a great truth, one of the greatest truths. It is a great truth because once we truly see this truth, we transcend it. Once we truly know that life is difficult–once we truly understand and accept it–then life is no longer difficult. Because once it is accepted, the fact that life is difficult no longer matters.”

I think your attitude that “we ought to be grateful things aren’t harder than they are most of the time” is one I could adopt! Even though I intellectually get the whole life is hard thing, I don’t think I have completely accepted it yet.

Duh. :)

]]> By: Elizabeth http://segullah.org/segullah-article-discussions/article-discussion-keeping-my-passport-or-sorry-youre-stuck-sister/#comment-71106 Elizabeth Mon, 17 Mar 2008 19:03:36 +0000 http://segullah.org/segullah-article-discussions/article-discussion-keeping-my-passport-or-sorry-youre-stuck-sister/#comment-71106 Wendy, that is my favorite hymn. I guess I always think I do have an out, or a choice about any given situation. Don't like my husband? I could walk away. Don't like my job? I could walk away. Kids whining today? I could walk away. For some reason, just knowing that I can, but that I am choosing to stay and face the situation is helpful. The "choosing it" is very freeing. Sometimes we think we don't have an out, but we do, even in the most difficult circumstances. In Viktor Frankl's Man's Search for Meaning, he discussed the idea of suffering well, creating meaning from suffering. Some people seems surprised that life is hard, and seem to almost take it personally. We live in a mortal, imperfect world. We ought to be grateful things aren't harder than they are most of the time. I guess you could say I'm an optimist. Or in denial. Either one works for me. Wendy, that is my favorite hymn. I guess I always think I do have an out, or a choice about any given situation. Don’t like my husband? I could walk away. Don’t like my job? I could walk away. Kids whining today? I could walk away. For some reason, just knowing that I can, but that I am choosing to stay and face the situation is helpful. The “choosing it” is very freeing. Sometimes we think we don’t have an out, but we do, even in the most difficult circumstances. In Viktor Frankl’s Man’s Search for Meaning, he discussed the idea of suffering well, creating meaning from suffering.
Some people seems surprised that life is hard, and seem to almost take it personally. We live in a mortal, imperfect world. We ought to be grateful things aren’t harder than they are most of the time. I guess you could say I’m an optimist. Or in denial. Either one works for me.

]]> By: Wendy http://segullah.org/segullah-article-discussions/article-discussion-keeping-my-passport-or-sorry-youre-stuck-sister/#comment-71087 Wendy Mon, 17 Mar 2008 17:51:13 +0000 http://segullah.org/segullah-article-discussions/article-discussion-keeping-my-passport-or-sorry-youre-stuck-sister/#comment-71087 I enjoyed the essay and related to it in a particular way. When I was struggling with a difficult companionship on my own mission, tired of the rules, etc., I found myself feeling trapped and angry. Then, in a Stake Conference, the hymn "Know This That Every Soul is Free" was the opening song. All of the words hit home, especially "God will force no man to heaven." I remembered it was my choice to be doing what I was doing, hard parts and all. I won't explain everything I felt at that time, but I no longer felt forced to be serving a mission, and I felt grateful for our agency. That lesson has stuck with me for 18 years so far. I like how Setzer brought the mission example around to the present, to Maxwell's ideas. I have been thinking about that subject recently, and her thoughts give me more to chew on. I have wanted to escape at least a few times! Not even pack, but just get on I-80 and drive. Of course I've had the more exotic wishes for escape . . . Hawaii or simpler California coast. But the I-80 trip has taken more conscious effort to not do, if I'm already in the car. I enjoyed the essay and related to it in a particular way. When I was struggling with a difficult companionship on my own mission, tired of the rules, etc., I found myself feeling trapped and angry. Then, in a Stake Conference, the hymn “Know This That Every Soul is Free” was the opening song. All of the words hit home, especially “God will force no man to heaven.” I remembered it was my choice to be doing what I was doing, hard parts and all. I won’t explain everything I felt at that time, but I no longer felt forced to be serving a mission, and I felt grateful for our agency. That lesson has stuck with me for 18 years so far.

I like how Setzer brought the mission example around to the present, to Maxwell’s ideas. I have been thinking about that subject recently, and her thoughts give me more to chew on.

I have wanted to escape at least a few times! Not even pack, but just get on I-80 and drive. Of course I’ve had the more exotic wishes for escape . . . Hawaii or simpler California coast. But the I-80 trip has taken more conscious effort to not do, if I’m already in the car.

]]> By: LCM http://segullah.org/segullah-article-discussions/article-discussion-keeping-my-passport-or-sorry-youre-stuck-sister/#comment-71075 LCM Mon, 17 Mar 2008 17:15:30 +0000 http://segullah.org/segullah-article-discussions/article-discussion-keeping-my-passport-or-sorry-youre-stuck-sister/#comment-71075 My sweet daughter "Fiona" got diagnosed with Lymphoma when she was 4 about a year and a half ago. When I heard it, I just wanted to go back to Hawaii, some place warm. Unfortunately, that would be the last thing I could do. Happily, about 5 months ago, my hubby's job moved us to Houston where it's a lot warmer and not as dreary. It's helpful...we keep wandering around Texas as tourist and enjoy our mini escapes. My sweet daughter “Fiona” got diagnosed with Lymphoma when she was 4 about a year and a half ago. When I heard it, I just wanted to go back to Hawaii, some place warm. Unfortunately, that would be the last thing I could do. Happily, about 5 months ago, my hubby’s job moved us to Houston where it’s a lot warmer and not as dreary. It’s helpful…we keep wandering around Texas as tourist and enjoy our mini escapes.

]]> By: Mormon Mommy Wars » We’re talking about crappy missions, surviving our greatest blessings, and exotic locales http://segullah.org/segullah-article-discussions/article-discussion-keeping-my-passport-or-sorry-youre-stuck-sister/#comment-71070 Mormon Mommy Wars » We’re talking about crappy missions, surviving our greatest blessings, and exotic locales Mon, 17 Mar 2008 16:55:24 +0000 http://segullah.org/segullah-article-discussions/article-discussion-keeping-my-passport-or-sorry-youre-stuck-sister/#comment-71070 [...] C’mon down. [...] [...] C’mon down. [...]

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