Comments on: Living in a fishbowl http://segullah.org/segullah-article-discussions/living-in-a-fishbowl/ Mormon women blogging about the peculiar and the treasured Thu, 09 Feb 2012 22:01:48 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: jenny http://segullah.org/segullah-article-discussions/living-in-a-fishbowl/#comment-123725 jenny Thu, 08 Jan 2009 14:58:20 +0000 http://segullah.org/?p=1810#comment-123725 Okay, I really do live in a fish-bowl. (Huge, HUGE, expansive windows on opposite sides of my house + a very open floor plan. Wasn't my first choice in homes--but what was available in the area when we moved here suddenly, that could reasonably accommodate our family of seven.) And I'm a fairly private person. (I'm not so mortified if I accidentally flash a stranger, but would DIE if it were my neighbor...)Anyway, even though there are people who are probably watching me, and now I am speaking of life in general-not just in my fishbowl house, I'm sure that more often than not, I have created my own imaginary audience. I'm not that interesting, people probably aren't watching me as closely as I sometimes think they might be. I have an over-active sense of that. Maybe it comes from being the oldest of 8, and the way I was raised: behave in public, people are watching you. Sometimes I find myself starting to react to a situation with my kids like I think people would expect me to react and I have to stop myself for a moment and decide how I really want to react to it. Does that make any sense? That said, people are going to see what they want to see. Too many crumbs on your kitchen floor-- or a large happy family eating together; too much time spent on blogs (ahem) or time spent being inspired, taught, uplifted, amused, replenished so one can keep on giving of herself to the ones she loves... (And if I were up on a ladder looking in people's bedrooms for a week- I would totally be watching and wondering and creating stories too.) ;) Okay, I really do live in a fish-bowl. (Huge, HUGE, expansive windows on opposite sides of my house + a very open floor plan. Wasn’t my first choice in homes–but what was available in the area when we moved here suddenly, that could reasonably accommodate our family of seven.) And I’m a fairly private person. (I’m not so mortified if I accidentally flash a stranger, but would DIE if it were my neighbor…)Anyway, even though there are people who are probably watching me, and now I am speaking of life in general-not just in my fishbowl house, I’m sure that more often than not, I have created my own imaginary audience. I’m not that interesting, people probably aren’t watching me as closely as I sometimes think they might be. I have an over-active sense of that. Maybe it comes from being the oldest of 8, and the way I was raised: behave in public, people are watching you. Sometimes I find myself starting to react to a situation with my kids like I think people would expect me to react and I have to stop myself for a moment and decide how I really want to react to it. Does that make any sense?

That said, people are going to see what they want to see. Too many crumbs on your kitchen floor– or a large happy family eating together; too much time spent on blogs (ahem) or time spent being inspired, taught, uplifted, amused, replenished so one can keep on giving of herself to the ones she loves…

(And if I were up on a ladder looking in people’s bedrooms for a week-
I would totally be watching and wondering and creating stories too.) ;)

]]> By: wendy http://segullah.org/segullah-article-discussions/living-in-a-fishbowl/#comment-123387 wendy Tue, 06 Jan 2009 03:37:23 +0000 http://segullah.org/?p=1810#comment-123387 Re: openness, my husband and I are opposites, too, though more in regards to sharing personal information. I put blackout fabric over my shower window so nobody can even know I'm IN there (the window is placed rather inconveniently for someone my height), but I'm completely more open with emotions and such. Anyway, I've found it's good to have each other to balance each other out. He's becoming more open and I'm learning to be more discreet. I remember reading Shoulder to Shoulder when the summer issue came out and really enjoying it. I have definitely experienced changing how I see some family members based on the positive comments of other people. It's such an interesting transition to make that perspective change. Re: openness, my husband and I are opposites, too, though more in regards to sharing personal information. I put blackout fabric over my shower window so nobody can even know I’m IN there (the window is placed rather inconveniently for someone my height), but I’m completely more open with emotions and such. Anyway, I’ve found it’s good to have each other to balance each other out. He’s becoming more open and I’m learning to be more discreet.

I remember reading Shoulder to Shoulder when the summer issue came out and really enjoying it. I have definitely experienced changing how I see some family members based on the positive comments of other people. It’s such an interesting transition to make that perspective change.

]]> By: Shelah http://segullah.org/segullah-article-discussions/living-in-a-fishbowl/#comment-123380 Shelah Tue, 06 Jan 2009 02:28:04 +0000 http://segullah.org/?p=1810#comment-123380 Les-- the glass house is set well back from the road, so we wouldn't have to worry about flashing unsuspecting pedestrians from inside. Also, I'm not sure I'd like living there-- I've heard it's kind of drafty. Les– the glass house is set well back from the road, so we wouldn’t have to worry about flashing unsuspecting pedestrians from inside. Also, I’m not sure I’d like living there– I’ve heard it’s kind of drafty.

]]> By: jendoop http://segullah.org/segullah-article-discussions/living-in-a-fishbowl/#comment-123369 jendoop Tue, 06 Jan 2009 01:23:52 +0000 http://segullah.org/?p=1810#comment-123369 It is amazing to get a little peek at someone else's view of you every once in a while. We're in a very shorthanded branch, we need more help all the time. As it is now the Primary president and I (the only active counselor) trade off sharing time and music/opening exercises. We feel perpetually frustrated and run down, wondering if the children feel the spirit at all because things are so crazy. So in trying to decide how to divide and conquer responsibilities we asked the Sunbeam teacher to also lead the music (she has one active child in the class). To our surprise she said she couldn't be as upbeat as we were, that it was just beyond her capabilities. We were both shocked! We put on fake smiles almost every week to get through those last 20 minutes yet the person on the very front row saw something completely different. It was a good reminder that we often paint ourselves in a negative light while painting others in a more positive way. In the end I wonder if I ever see things the way they truly are. It is amazing to get a little peek at someone else’s view of you every once in a while.

We’re in a very shorthanded branch, we need more help all the time. As it is now the Primary president and I (the only active counselor) trade off sharing time and music/opening exercises. We feel perpetually frustrated and run down, wondering if the children feel the spirit at all because things are so crazy. So in trying to decide how to divide and conquer responsibilities we asked the Sunbeam teacher to also lead the music (she has one active child in the class).

To our surprise she said she couldn’t be as upbeat as we were, that it was just beyond her capabilities. We were both shocked! We put on fake smiles almost every week to get through those last 20 minutes yet the person on the very front row saw something completely different.

It was a good reminder that we often paint ourselves in a negative light while painting others in a more positive way. In the end I wonder if I ever see things the way they truly are.

]]> By: Les http://segullah.org/segullah-article-discussions/living-in-a-fishbowl/#comment-123340 Les Mon, 05 Jan 2009 21:50:15 +0000 http://segullah.org/?p=1810#comment-123340 The view from the outside changes the perspective entirely. We can see I haven't learned my lessons yet as I'd be content in philip johnson's glass house. The view from the outside changes the perspective entirely. We can see I haven’t learned my lessons yet as I’d be content in philip johnson’s glass house.

]]> By: Melissa http://segullah.org/segullah-article-discussions/living-in-a-fishbowl/#comment-123337 Melissa Mon, 05 Jan 2009 21:35:53 +0000 http://segullah.org/?p=1810#comment-123337 I loved the part of Courtney's essay when her friend speaks so highly of her sister (and mother). I've had the same experience with my kids. It's easy to get mired down in the day-to-day responsibilities of parenting--sometimes I miss the forest for the trees. When teachers or others say something kind about my children (especially the ones I struggle with) it helps give me some perspective. I loved the part of Courtney’s essay when her friend speaks so highly of her sister (and mother). I’ve had the same experience with my kids. It’s easy to get mired down in the day-to-day responsibilities of parenting–sometimes I miss the forest for the trees. When teachers or others say something kind about my children (especially the ones I struggle with) it helps give me some perspective.

]]> By: homeschoolin'henn http://segullah.org/segullah-article-discussions/living-in-a-fishbowl/#comment-123309 homeschoolin'henn Mon, 05 Jan 2009 18:56:33 +0000 http://segullah.org/?p=1810#comment-123309 I live out in the country; our closest neighbor is 1/4 mile away-too close in my opinion. I put lace curtains in the front picture window after living here for about 2 years. However, the kitchen and bedroom remain curtainlest. It doesn't bug me. I guess if someone really wants to peep, it will be their own fault when they have a stroke at the horrors of the visual experience!! I live out in the country; our closest neighbor is 1/4 mile away-too close in my opinion. I put lace curtains in the front picture window after living here for about 2 years. However, the kitchen and bedroom remain curtainlest. It doesn’t bug me. I guess if someone really wants to peep, it will be their own fault when they have a stroke at the horrors of the visual experience!!

]]> By: Annette http://segullah.org/segullah-article-discussions/living-in-a-fishbowl/#comment-123284 Annette Mon, 05 Jan 2009 15:06:06 +0000 http://segullah.org/?p=1810#comment-123284 Only a writer would do that--come up with a fictional story about the family. I'd totally do that, though. Only a writer would do that–come up with a fictional story about the family. I’d totally do that, though.

]]>