“…a few years ago…I was grouching around in a PMS snit, totally destroying the Sabbath for me and my entire family. As I sat on the stairs, quietly raging and sobbing after ruining dinner, yelling at my kids, and picking a fight with my husband (and genuinely believing that it was all their fault), I told God that I hated PMS and that I couldn’t take feeling like this for one more second. I cannot explain the physical sensation of my anger being lifted and calm pouring down. Every so often I take out that stunning moment and look at it in awe: there is a male God who understands my body, my emotions—me, even when I’m not acting like myself.”
—–Kylie Turley, “Writing Chocolate” Vol. 1.1 Spring 2005, Segullah
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I loved reading this article to remind myself what Segullah is for and why this handful of women spends hours and hours of their time to read, write, edit, and put together this journal and this blog. It’s not about patting ourselves on the back, but creating an opportunity to share, grow, learn.
And after I write a little to update my blog from my uniquely feminine experience I will have to go make some chocolate dessert.
Fantastic article! Thanks Maralise.
Wow. I wish that would happen to me. My husband wishes that would happen to me.
Thanks Maralise. I really needed to be reminded of that experience today. God does love me, understand me and wish to help me. And now, I’ll go eat some chocolate, too.
I was contemplating this very idea recently as I am experiencing my second miscarriage in a row. I was wondering how can God understand This? He’s not a woman. He’s never yearned to be pregnant, finally get pregnant and then lose it again. How, how can he understand THIS? I don’t know how. But He does. Somehow He does.
I often find that there is space (sometimes needed?) between an “I believe” statement and an “I know” statement. For me, I can honestly say that I believe there is a male God (and a female one) who understand my female-ness and even more importantly, my individuality with a distinct sense of clarity, empathy, and knowledge.
But, my day-to-day life often leads me to question whether “I know” this. And I get the feeling from Sue and Heathermommy (welcome) and even Kylie that often our beliefs and knowledge (those terms are obviously somewhat reductionist) somehow don’t always seem to fit together, that there is some level (smaller for some than others) of disconnect between the two.
For me, in the space between my belief and my knowledge, I can honestly say that is where my even-very-small faith somehow seems to fill the void. But even as I say that, I wonder if faith is enough. Grace complements faith nicely, I think.
I’m sure there are times when belief and knowledge become one. I just am not sure I’ve experienced that. And I guess that’s the space where I learn patience.
I perhaps would consider medical intervention as help from God also.
During my PMS days, I researched until I thought I could give a world wide seminar on the subject. I still found myself plagued with what felt much like being possessed! The cycle of our bodies is putting that state of almost derangement at least 1 of every three weeks per month! It is real, it is something that effects the rhythm of the whole family.
I’m sure their are new medical and homeopathy resolves to minimize some of the effects.
My best relief came when we were done with our family and I had a hysterectomy. That took away so many monthly issues. Not an answer for others but it was that time in my life and girls I feel free from all that complex female hormonal insanity. I have never missed my uterus once!!!! I am liberated truly!
pjb