Que Sera, Sera

Posted by Brooke | December 3, 2007 | 6 Comments

I look at the pictures of myself right before my first pregnancy bloomed in the expanse between my hip bones, and get an overwhelming urge to pat my own naÃ¯ve head, to chuckle and tell that girl that there is so much she doesn’t know about what will be. It’s not that I didn’t understand life; I still don’t understand life. It’s that I didn’t understand the physicality of being pregnant—of what the coming 40 weeks would entail. I didn’t know you felt pregnancy everywhere: the heaviness in your limbs, the aches in back and feet and thighs, the searing cut of a late contraction that is nowhere, then suddenly everywhere.

I didn’t know your face could grow melon size along with your belly. I didn’t know your nails and hair would flourish. I didn’t know what sciatica was, or edema for that matter.

And I didn’t know I would love so much, or that I could. I didn’t know the intensity with which I would study my newborn’s face, looking for my facial features in hers—like clues that she was part of me. That she was me.

I didn’t know any of this. But Noelle Carter did. Read what she has to say in her lovely poem To Be and then tell me how you feel.

Category: Liken the Journal

Comments

6 Responses to “Que Sera, Sera”

Angie
December 4th, 2007 @ 2:01 pm

I am feeling the physicality of pregnancy waay to much right now, and at the moment I don’t have anything very poetic to say about it.

I do love this poem, though, and I enjoyed your lovely post.
Katrina
December 4th, 2007 @ 2:25 pm

I just found out I’m pregnant…. my what I have to look forward to!
Michelle AM
December 5th, 2007 @ 5:12 pm

What a wonderful way to explain the juxtaposition of bringing forth life! I try to focus on the love and happiness — rather than the swelling, pain, sleeplessness — that is pregnancy and childbirth. I have never felt closer to God than the moment I hear that first cry, see that little “us,” and hold that precious spirit for the first time. Those are among my most treasured memories. Thanks for bringing them to mind again!
Emily M.
December 6th, 2007 @ 12:15 am

I like the feeling of the baby moving inside me; that’s what I miss about being pregnant. It is a humbling experience, being pregnant. It forces me to get fat and pee constantly and be nauseated. But like the poem says, it’s how I bind with the earth.
Idetrorce
December 15th, 2007 @ 11:17 am

very interesting, but I don’t agree with you
Idetrorce
pjb
December 15th, 2007 @ 11:04 pm

Yes, and those miraculous feelings and those specific details never cease with each pregnancy. Never! I loved with that intensity and felt that deeply every time. It’s called joing…
“The Mothers Club”.