I cried in church yesterday. I hate crying in public, especially over something stupid. I was in Sunday School sitting behind a woman who tragically lost her husband in a car accident on the day before Thanksgiving. I just couldn’t get composed all the while knowing my temporary tears were insignificant in comparison to her well of grief. She was reading her scriptures, using a picture of her and her husband as a bookmark.
we all hate to be alone, we should be trees,
our branches espaliered, in a grid,
and small birds rocking on our hands,
birds shaped by the patting of palms.
we should be twined together, earth and sky.
i am yours, connected, sleep awhile.
–Johnna Benson Cornett we all hate to be alone
During this happy and exhiliarating, exhausting and draining Christmas season, I can’t help but think of those relations that are far away, in body and sometimes in spirit. My small family is huddled around the television, the stove, the hearth, the tree. And I’m grateful. But also sad that my larger family is elsewhere, across the country, in other countries, warming themselves near a different hearth, filling their stomachs from the fruit of another stove. But, I can hear the words of Willa Cather’s Antonia when she said, “Ain’t it wonderful…how much people can mean to each other?” Yes. Yes it is.
Sigh. So beautiful, Maralise.
On Christmas Eve my son Andrew was crying. We had had multiple meltdowns up to that point so I figured he was in a tiff about something earth-shaking such as who got to be the innkeeper in our Christmas play. But when I finally coerced him into telling me why-the-heck-is-he-crying he said this: “Uncle George won’t have any Christmas.”
My brother George disappeared last week, a fugitive from the law. Nobody knows where he is.
And so while I hugged Andrew and mourned with him a bit, I couldn’t help but be happy too, that my son has such a heart.
Thank you for this post, and for the Willa Cather quote at the end, which is something I needed to read. I was having a difficult time finding my happy face this year, and I didn’t know why, exactly. Then it came to me…while we were fine, and healthy and mostly happy, I knew many people were not. Like you, I felt it keenly, but didn’t know what to make of it, or what to do. You’ve given me much to think about.
A national health promotion and disease prevention initiative bringing together many individuals and agencies to improve the health of all Americans WBR LeoP
very good post from our team…
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I decided to review the posts of my sister-in-law. I liked this one. Last night I snuggled up to Brandon and felt so thankful to be next to his body. He felt warm and heavy and asleep. (not that he’s especially heavy, that’s just how I felt) And then I was thankful that his was the body I was cuddling up to.