Reproaching ourselves at Christmas time

Posted by Shelah | December 29, 2008 | 9 Comments

Yesterday we pulled the boxes down out of the attic and performed in reverse the ritual we went through exactly a month ago: garlands rewound, ornaments rewrapped, Christmas stories packed away for another year. My mom always waited until after the New Year to pack up the Christmas decorations, but I was starting to feel claustrophobic, and eager to start off 2009 in a space where I’m not tripping over the Little People nativity eight times a day. Ring out the messy, Ring in the clean– that’s what Tennyson meant, isn’t it?

This year I felt more nostalgic than usual when I was packing up the Christmas stuff. We just spent our last Christmas in Texas, and next year we’ll be in a new house in a new state. I was being careful in wrapping and boxing, because this time the Christmas decorations would have to survive not only the trip up two flights of stairs to the attic, but also the thousand-mile journey in the back of a moving van. I was selectively weeding too– did we really need to keep the snowman nesting box that Maren had turned into a double-amputee this season? (No, it turns out we didn’t). I even sat down and plowed through the Christmas books, curious to see if there were any that we could add to the Goodwill pile.

At the back of the stack, buried deep under Elmo’s Christmas, Who Is Coming to Our House, and Reindeer Christmas (this year’s favorites), and The Polar Express and How the Grinch Stole Christmas (well loved, but a little too long to read ten times a day), I found The Gift of the Magi– my all-time favorite Christmas story; the only book I took from my parents’ house when I moved out. A pang of guilt struck me when I realized I’d never sat down to read it this season. I thought about sitting down and doing a ritual reading, but I knew that I’d probably lose an ornament or two to my two-year-old now that they were off the tree and within her reach. So I stuffed it in the box, promising to read it next year.

The thing about Christmas is that it’s just so full of good things, that it’s impossible to give all of them the attention they deserve. This year I missed The Gift of the Magi, last year we never watched The Grinch and the year before we never even got around to reading the Christmas Story. Each year, as we add new good things, the old ones get crowded out (if they’re bad– I hope to forget all about Elmo’s Christmas in another year or two) or else they join part of our collective Christmas story. This September, when Segullah arrived in my mailbox, I made a mental note to add Elizabeth Cranford’s poem, “Reproach” to my Christmas collective. Cranford’s glimpse into Elisabeth’s perspective on her long-awaited pregnancy with John the Baptist definitely deserves a place along with our musings about angels, shepherds, wise men and other supporting actors and actresses in the Christmas Story. Cranford’s poem also seems to show us that where Christmas is concerned, there’s enough guilt to go around– whether it’s over not picking out the perfect present or not reading the favorite story, or not conceiving month after month.

So read it, add it to your collection of Christmas stories, and while you’re at it, talk here about something you didn’t get around to this Christmas. Ease my self-reproach about never taking the time to sit down and enjoy The Gift of the Magi.

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Category: Liken the Journal

Comments

9 Responses to “Reproaching ourselves at Christmas time”

  1. jendoop
    December 29th, 2008 @ 8:43 am

    Oh, I’m still in the “better late than never” stage. The Christmas cards go out today and the sugar cookie dough that has been waiting in the fridge will be baked eventually. While you’re eager to move on I want to extend the season to enclude the epiphany, like my neighbors, so I have fewer regrets about what didn’t make it into this year’s celebrating. Plus, I dread taking down that Christmas tree so I’ll do it when the kids are back in school.

  2. Researcher
    December 29th, 2008 @ 9:34 am

    This year I started to take down the Christmas tree on December 26. I had all the ornaments off when my six-year-old noticed what I was doing and with tears in her eyes, requested that I leave the tree up longer. So there it stands, bare of all ornaments, but with the lights still on.

    (Incident #6033 in a series of “Sacrifices I Make For My Kids.”)

  3. Zina
    December 29th, 2008 @ 3:49 pm

    My plan was to celebrate until Epiphany, but I am getting kind of eager to take the dry tree down and get back to life as usual. It’s not that I like life-as-usual better, it’s just that celebrating takes thought and energy that seems in short supply to me at nearly 7 months into a pregnancy.

    This is the third-or-so year in a row I haven’t gotten around to making cinnamon walnuts or Swedish rosettes, and they still sound really yummy but I’m also ready to rest from festivities. So I guess my ambivalence puts me in Christmas limbo.

  4. jendoop
    December 29th, 2008 @ 5:00 pm

    Zina I love rosettes, they are my family tradition also! But they make so many and are such a production I only make them if we attend an activity where I can share. So they weren’t made this year.

  5. Michelle L.
    December 29th, 2008 @ 6:45 pm

    We haven’t been downtown to see the lights at Temple Square. The display stays on until Jan. 1; but I still don’t think we’ll make it. Sniff.

    Silly whiny husband who doesn’t like dragging the kids anywhere.

  6. Diane
    December 29th, 2008 @ 10:22 pm

    This happens to be one of my favorite times of the year…after Christmas! There are so many moving parts to Christmas and putting them all together just gets more overwhelming. I love the urge to clean out, start anew, set goals, plan for the new year and declutter from the holidays.

    This year it started early. Late Christmas Eve my tree toppled over, I leaned it against the wall and was happy I had a good excuse to take it down Christmas day. The morning of the 26th I was up at the crack of dawn cleaning out the store room, garage and even helping my parents clean out one closet at a time.

    I am taking the time to write each friend and family member a personal note instead of our standard Christmas picture and message. It may take me until Valentines Day, but that’s ok with me. It’s way overdue…

  7. Steawlagreess
    December 30th, 2008 @ 5:30 am

    Hi, i’m new to the forum and saying hello everyone. :)

  8. wendy
    December 30th, 2008 @ 11:03 am

    I’m with jendoop and the “it’s never too late” idea. I still have hopes to get some kind of Christmas or New Year’s or Valentine’s letter out. I still hope to make some goodies this week to take to a few neighbors. It doesn’t all have to be done before December 25.

  9. mormonhermitmom
    December 31st, 2008 @ 5:56 pm

    I like to put lights in the windows, but it didn’t happen this year. But we did do something new and actually gave of ourselves this year. I’m okay with that.