Comments on: Fear and Other Uninvited Guests http://segullah.org/slice-of-life/fear-and-other-uninvited-guests/ Mormon women blogging about the peculiar and the treasured Thu, 24 May 2012 11:55:01 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.2 By: Red http://segullah.org/slice-of-life/fear-and-other-uninvited-guests/#comment-141664 Red Sat, 09 May 2009 23:03:00 +0000 http://segullah.org/?p=2841#comment-141664 There's medication for that. There’s medication for that.

]]> By: Melissa M. http://segullah.org/slice-of-life/fear-and-other-uninvited-guests/#comment-140504 Melissa M. Fri, 01 May 2009 14:21:25 +0000 http://segullah.org/?p=2841#comment-140504 Again, such good comments! Selwyn, I love your reminder that we what we really need to do is trust in God--a truth that has been emphasized over and over in the comments all of you have made, and something we each need to take to heart. m&m, welcome back! We've missed you! Thank you for posting the link to your post; I had read your post and I would have linked to it myself if I had more confidence in my technical skills. I love your idea that even though we might not have figured out how to overcome fear ourselves, we can still teach our children important truths as we are struggling to learn. And Kathleen, thank you for including that scripture in 2 Kings--which I think is so relevant to our day. My daughter loves "The Dark is Rising" but I haven't read it--I'm going to go check it out. Really, all of you have fed my soul with your comments! Again, such good comments! Selwyn, I love your reminder that we what we really need to do is trust in God–a truth that has been emphasized over and over in the comments all of you have made, and something we each need to take to heart.
m&m, welcome back! We’ve missed you! Thank you for posting the link to your post; I had read your post and I would have linked to it myself if I had more confidence in my technical skills. I love your idea that even though we might not have figured out how to overcome fear ourselves, we can still teach our children important truths as we are struggling to learn.
And Kathleen, thank you for including that scripture in 2 Kings–which I think is so relevant to our day. My daughter loves “The Dark is Rising” but I haven’t read it–I’m going to go check it out.
Really, all of you have fed my soul with your comments!

]]> By: Kathleen http://segullah.org/slice-of-life/fear-and-other-uninvited-guests/#comment-140495 Kathleen Fri, 01 May 2009 11:58:28 +0000 http://segullah.org/?p=2841#comment-140495 I have loved so many of the comments that are included in this particular posting. Reading them has reminded me that only the Savior can fully appreciate what our individual experiences are. It is easy for any of us to dismiss someone else's fears at times because we haven't shared their past. But the Savior has. And only He can provide each of us with whatever it is we need to face a fear and overcome it. I too have been inspired by Immaculee's story. Upon first hearing it I shared it with my daughters in hopes that they could see not only how blessed we are but that no matter what our challenge the Savior is with us...in our fiery furnace or... in our own little crowded hiding place. When I think of the world and how overwhelming it seems at times, I try to remember the words of Elisha in 2 Kings to his servant that "They that be with us are more than they that be with them." Surely our Prophet today prays that our eyes will be opened like Elisha's servant's were and that we too will see the mountain full of chariots of fire. At times I think of Susan Cooper's "The Dark is Rising" and remember that we are a part of something so much greater than what appears to be reality to so many around us. When we look at any challenge through our gospel perspective we can trust that the Lord is ever with us and that all things really do work for our good... even those things that we would never choose to experience. Facing those moments is when I do best to remember that indeed "I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me." I have loved so many of the comments that are included in this particular posting. Reading them has reminded me that only the Savior can fully appreciate what our individual experiences are. It is easy for any of us to dismiss someone else’s fears at times because we haven’t shared their past. But the Savior has. And only He can provide each of us with whatever it is we need to face a fear and overcome it.
I too have been inspired by Immaculee’s story. Upon first hearing it I shared it with my daughters in hopes that they could see not only how blessed we are but that no matter what our challenge the Savior is with us…in our fiery furnace or… in our own little crowded hiding place.
When I think of the world and how overwhelming it seems at times, I try to remember the words of Elisha in 2 Kings to his servant that “They that be with us are more than they that be with them.” Surely our Prophet today prays that our eyes will be opened like Elisha’s servant’s were and that we too will see the mountain full of chariots of fire. At times I think of Susan Cooper’s “The Dark is Rising” and remember that we are a part of something so much greater than what appears to be reality to so many around us.
When we look at any challenge through our gospel perspective we can trust that the Lord is ever with us and that all things really do work for our good… even those things that we would never choose to experience. Facing those moments is when I do best to remember that indeed “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.”

]]> By: m&m http://segullah.org/slice-of-life/fear-and-other-uninvited-guests/#comment-140473 m&m Fri, 01 May 2009 07:30:50 +0000 http://segullah.org/?p=2841#comment-140473 I'm jumping out of temporary lurkerdom (have had to simplify life a bit to try to get headaches under control, which means even reading less Segullah -- ouch!) because this has been on my mind a lot lately, and I need to keep writing and talking about faith instead of fear, in hopes that I can actually get there. I just wrote about a <a href="http://iammullingandmusing.blogspot.com/2009/04/fear-vs-faith.html" rel="nofollow">post</a>about it, actually, which captures several quotes from Conference that helped me a bit. Too much to post here. :) I sometimes call this tendency toward imagining the worst 'headline-itis." And the panic I feel about the fact that I know I worry too much and might pass that tendency along to my children only makes it worse. I want them to have a better life than I have, with more faith and less fear. My thought on that is that I try to teach them truth, even if I haven't figured it out in my own life. I know we are supposed to be examples, but I firmly believe that the power of truth in our children's lives can transcend our weakness as parents, at least to some degree. I remember things that my parents taught with conviction and repetition, even if they didn't always perfectly have life figured out. I keep reminding myself and them that God is in control, that all things are for our good, and that every breath is a gift. That faith and fear cannot coexist. That we do our best and let God take care of the rest. The problem, imo, is that I think the combination of our fallenness and our culture (a fix-it, no-pain culture) makes it hard to know when we have done enough. The more chaos there is around me, the more I know I am going to need to let go of my need to control and let Him do more of it. I just have to believe that He doesn't want me huddled in a corner afraid and overwhelmed and constantly assuming that I can prevent all bad stuff, and/or that if it were to happen, it would somehow be my fault. I am grateful for prophets who keep me coming back to messages of faith, hope, and peace, in spite of the craziness of mortality and my own weakness in this area. I’m jumping out of temporary lurkerdom (have had to simplify life a bit to try to get headaches under control, which means even reading less Segullah — ouch!) because this has been on my mind a lot lately, and I need to keep writing and talking about faith instead of fear, in hopes that I can actually get there. I just wrote about a postabout it, actually, which captures several quotes from Conference that helped me a bit. Too much to post here. :)

I sometimes call this tendency toward imagining the worst ‘headline-itis.” And the panic I feel about the fact that I know I worry too much and might pass that tendency along to my children only makes it worse. I want them to have a better life than I have, with more faith and less fear.

My thought on that is that I try to teach them truth, even if I haven’t figured it out in my own life. I know we are supposed to be examples, but I firmly believe that the power of truth in our children’s lives can transcend our weakness as parents, at least to some degree. I remember things that my parents taught with conviction and repetition, even if they didn’t always perfectly have life figured out.

I keep reminding myself and them that God is in control, that all things are for our good, and that every breath is a gift. That faith and fear cannot coexist. That we do our best and let God take care of the rest. The problem, imo, is that I think the combination of our fallenness and our culture (a fix-it, no-pain culture) makes it hard to know when we have done enough.

The more chaos there is around me, the more I know I am going to need to let go of my need to control and let Him do more of it. I just have to believe that He doesn’t want me huddled in a corner afraid and overwhelmed and constantly assuming that I can prevent all bad stuff, and/or that if it were to happen, it would somehow be my fault. I am grateful for prophets who keep me coming back to messages of faith, hope, and peace, in spite of the craziness of mortality and my own weakness in this area.

]]> By: Selwyn http://segullah.org/slice-of-life/fear-and-other-uninvited-guests/#comment-140470 Selwyn Fri, 01 May 2009 06:37:34 +0000 http://segullah.org/?p=2841#comment-140470 I've been a world-class catastrophiser for years. I've even written essays about it! I'm better at avoiding it now though. How do I avoid it? By taking a deep breathe in, holding it, and letting it out. By shaking my hands to relax my fingers. Most of all, I have learnt that you won't react the way you think, that the unexpected is what will hit you, and ultimately you are trusting in the wrong power - yourself - to save you and yours. You are thinking that YOU have the ability to be all seeing, all knowing, all powerful, and REALLY, not only are you wrong, but Someone else already has that job! Now, I try and PLAN (not worry/catastrophise) for events I can logically see as possible/probable or a good idea (i.e. teaching my boys emergency procedures), pay attention to any promptings I receive (I PRAY about them to make sure they are Him and not me!) and leave the rest to God. In the end, faith in His love and care is what gets you through whatever hits you. I’ve been a world-class catastrophiser for years. I’ve even written essays about it! I’m better at avoiding it now though.

How do I avoid it? By taking a deep breathe in, holding it, and letting it out. By shaking my hands to relax my fingers.

Most of all, I have learnt that you won’t react the way you think, that the unexpected is what will hit you, and ultimately you are trusting in the wrong power – yourself – to save you and yours. You are thinking that YOU have the ability to be all seeing, all knowing, all powerful, and REALLY, not only are you wrong, but Someone else already has that job!

Now, I try and PLAN (not worry/catastrophise) for events I can logically see as possible/probable or a good idea (i.e. teaching my boys emergency procedures), pay attention to any promptings I receive (I PRAY about them to make sure they are Him and not me!) and leave the rest to God.

In the end, faith in His love and care is what gets you through whatever hits you.

]]> By: Melissa M. http://segullah.org/slice-of-life/fear-and-other-uninvited-guests/#comment-140462 Melissa M. Fri, 01 May 2009 04:52:29 +0000 http://segullah.org/?p=2841#comment-140462 Ah yes, the real traumas can stay with us for years--it's hard to let go of those experiences. I'm sorry you had those painful experiences in junior high--I wish we could all be more kind at that age. Ah yes, the real traumas can stay with us for years–it’s hard to let go of those experiences. I’m sorry you had those painful experiences in junior high–I wish we could all be more kind at that age.

]]> By: Emily M. http://segullah.org/slice-of-life/fear-and-other-uninvited-guests/#comment-140460 Emily M. Fri, 01 May 2009 04:31:10 +0000 http://segullah.org/?p=2841#comment-140460 Melissa, here's my problem with fear: I remember all the worst case scenarios, and they are still with me. For years I never trusted that anyone would want to be friends with me, because of some painful experiences in junior high. All the friend worst case scenarios were with me. I still hate driving on the freeway; I keep remembering the time I rolled a car in the middle of Kansas. Or the woman who rolled right through a stop sign and into my car. And now, having broken my leg in the slush, I am very seriously scared of slippery terrain. I'd like to have more faith, less fear. But it's very hard for me to let go of trauma when faced with situations that could be similarly traumatic... I do okay with the "DH is half an hour late and what happened to him" type stuff; I know that it's irrational a little better somehow. But real disasters I have a hard time letting go of. Melissa, here’s my problem with fear: I remember all the worst case scenarios, and they are still with me. For years I never trusted that anyone would want to be friends with me, because of some painful experiences in junior high. All the friend worst case scenarios were with me. I still hate driving on the freeway; I keep remembering the time I rolled a car in the middle of Kansas. Or the woman who rolled right through a stop sign and into my car. And now, having broken my leg in the slush, I am very seriously scared of slippery terrain.

I’d like to have more faith, less fear. But it’s very hard for me to let go of trauma when faced with situations that could be similarly traumatic…

I do okay with the “DH is half an hour late and what happened to him” type stuff; I know that it’s irrational a little better somehow. But real disasters I have a hard time letting go of.

]]> By: Melissa M. http://segullah.org/slice-of-life/fear-and-other-uninvited-guests/#comment-140451 Melissa M. Fri, 01 May 2009 03:08:32 +0000 http://segullah.org/?p=2841#comment-140451 Justine, wasn't that a great evening? I'd already read Immaculee's book and was so thrilled to meet her. She just radiated such a beautiful spirit. I'll always be grateful that I went to that dinner. Tori, I'm so glad you've found some comfort in this blog today. I know that having a prayer in your heart throughout the day can help relieve your burdens, and I'm glad you felt some relief today. I hated it when my little children would get sick--so many nights I lay awake, wondering if I should call the Dr. and hoping we could all just make it until the morning. It gets better, I promise. I hope your five-year-old gets feeling better soon! Justine, wasn’t that a great evening? I’d already read Immaculee’s book and was so thrilled to meet her. She just radiated such a beautiful spirit. I’ll always be grateful that I went to that dinner.
Tori, I’m so glad you’ve found some comfort in this blog today. I know that having a prayer in your heart throughout the day can help relieve your burdens, and I’m glad you felt some relief today. I hated it when my little children would get sick–so many nights I lay awake, wondering if I should call the Dr. and hoping we could all just make it until the morning. It gets better, I promise. I hope your five-year-old gets feeling better soon!

]]> By: Tori http://segullah.org/slice-of-life/fear-and-other-uninvited-guests/#comment-140447 Tori Fri, 01 May 2009 02:39:51 +0000 http://segullah.org/?p=2841#comment-140447 Your post is SUCH a blessing to me! I totally have this problem and I was just crying to my Mom last night, "WHAT is WRONG with me!!?? Why can't I be normal and not always think the worst when things happen that aren't so wonderful." The latest thing is another illness in our home. My 5 year old has been hit hard and it's scared the beegeebers out of me (with the swine flu and her symptoms being the same)! I don't feel as full of fear today and I know it has everything to do with the Grace of God. He's taking the burden (as real or imaginary as it may be) and allowing me to feel more hope and faith as well as the Love I always feel for Him. It's times like these that I more fully understand the idea of having a prayer in my heart the whole day long - you know, that idea. And maybe that's why I have this OFA disorder (overwhelming fear & anxiety). It's not a real disorder (as far as I know), but as far as I'm concerned, it should be! *sigh* So, I don't have much good advice, except for the prayer and trying to release it to Father. I certainly know I'm not strong enough alone! THANK YOU for this post! It's really meant a lot to me to read another Mama who has this OFA thing goin on and struggling to release fear and feel faith!!!! ^_^ Your post is SUCH a blessing to me! I totally have this problem and I was just crying to my Mom last night, “WHAT is WRONG with me!!?? Why can’t I be normal and not always think the worst when things happen that aren’t so wonderful.” The latest thing is another illness in our home. My 5 year old has been hit hard and it’s scared the beegeebers out of me (with the swine flu and her symptoms being the same)!

I don’t feel as full of fear today and I know it has everything to do with the Grace of God. He’s taking the burden (as real or imaginary as it may be) and allowing me to feel more hope and faith as well as the Love I always feel for Him. It’s times like these that I more fully understand the idea of having a prayer in my heart the whole day long – you know, that idea. And maybe that’s why I have this OFA disorder (overwhelming fear & anxiety). It’s not a real disorder (as far as I know), but as far as I’m concerned, it should be! *sigh* So, I don’t have much good advice, except for the prayer and trying to release it to Father. I certainly know I’m not strong enough alone!

THANK YOU for this post! It’s really meant a lot to me to read another Mama who has this OFA thing goin on and struggling to release fear and feel faith!!!! ^_^

]]> By: Justine http://segullah.org/slice-of-life/fear-and-other-uninvited-guests/#comment-140436 Justine Fri, 01 May 2009 00:52:29 +0000 http://segullah.org/?p=2841#comment-140436 Melissa, that's where I met her, at that dinner! Small world... Maybe we are destined to be kindred souls after all! Melissa, that’s where I met her, at that dinner! Small world… Maybe we are destined to be kindred souls after all!

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