Here comes the bride…and cake and flowers

Posted by Leslie | August 2, 2010 | 41 Comments

I always love to come to my parents’ house in the summer and look through the stack of wedding announcements that sit in the basket by the desk. Envelopes in cream, white, and ivory, laced with tissue- paper squares, and ribbon embellishments. Sprinkled in are photos of smiling couples—bearing resemblance to those kids I used to babysit or teach in Young Women—now sporting diamond rings and cuddling up next to guys I don’t know.

Weddings and receptions come in all sorts of shapes and sizes. I’ve been to LDS weddings, and weddings of people of other faiths. I love the ceremonies and also the celebrations. I’ve been to churches, temples, plantations, bed & breakfasts, cultural halls, reception centers, houses, clubhouses and big white tents. I’ve seen some very interesting color schemes—which were probably regretted a few years later—my share of atrocious dresses, and flowers gone awry. I have also admired flower arrangements two stories tall, enjoyed the glamor of getting dressed up for black tie, and a taken a turn on a few ballroom dance floors. I’ve consumed much wedding food—ranging from delicious to unusual (politely describing it). I’ve eaten plenty of slices of cake in all its varieties and downed more than my share of punch (both of which I unabashedly express ardent love for). Man might not be able to live on bread alone, but I think this woman could get by on punch and cake pretty nicely.

I had very definite ideas for my own wedding all the way down to typestyle for the invitations. I didn’t want extravagant, just simple and beautiful. I designed my dress and helped make the veil, designed the bridesmaids’ dresses, made the five-layer wedding cake, made every bouquet and corsage, hand addressed every invitation, made the favors and cut out typewriter style “g’s” in my wedding colors to be stuck on the front of the out-of-town guest bags for the hotel, gave my photographer very specific instructions that I wanted no cheesy shots, not a bunch of kissing, or soft-focus pictures. I wanted everything just so. Mostly these opinions were formed in reaction to perusing the wedding albums of many people who had gone before me, which taught me all the things I didn’t want to do.

It was a whirlwind, but delightfully marked at every turn with memories. Like assembling and transporting my over three-foot-tall cake in our dear friends’ kitchen, or wiring tons of flowers with my best friend as wing man with the floral tape in my aunt’s kitchen, or finding my then fiancé asleep on the hotel lobby couch at 1 am the night before our wedding, where he was diligently attempting to wait up for me, as I came racing in after a full day of preparations and the two-hour drive from my parents’ house to our hotel by the Washington, D.C. Temple. I am still slightly miffed that I didn’t throw the daisies on the floor that the caterer put around my cake without asking me and I wished I had worn my hair down part of the day, but eleven years later I look back with few regrets and still think it was a pretty great day and the beginning of something amazing.

So tell me about your wedding. Did you love it or hate it? Do you look back with regrets? Do you laugh or simply smile fondly? Did you run the show or turn over the reigns? Did you have any funny mishaps? What was the most memorable one you’ve attended?

Comments

41 Responses to “Here comes the bride…and cake and flowers”

Nancy R.
August 2nd, 2010 @ 9:25 pm

My wedding was in a different country from where I was living, and so I let me sister-in-law-to-be organize everything. It was fabulous and by fabulous I mean nice and low-key. Growing up, I never thought about my wedding and didn’t have too many opinions when it came to organizing it. I just wanted to get married to my husband in the temple. And I did. I got exactly what I wanted.
anita
August 2nd, 2010 @ 9:44 pm

We married the day after graduating from BYU, and I was so sick of the wedding culture in Provo that I didn’t have a diamond, cake, or bridesmaids. At the time, it was exactly what I wanted, the focus on the ceremony. Looking back on my photos, however, I wish I’d at least asked family members to coordinate a little better on clothing colors so the group effect is frame-worthy. I also wish I’d cared a little more about flowers and reception decor since my mother-in-law took over and it was not at all my taste. I’m thinking of having a 25th anniversary party in ten years and redoing it all At least I’d keep the groom. And I did cave and get a lovely diamond ring for a recent anniversary.
Giggles
August 2nd, 2010 @ 9:59 pm

We’re not looking back from too far, but I loved our wedding. We made the things we wanted to (my dress, our flowers (out of ribbon)) and then paid the money for the rest of it so we didn’t have to worry about it. And we did it all together. My husband was very much involved.

There was a huge snowstorm that day and a blizzard as we approached the temple. It made for some real cold pictures, but absolutely gorgeous too.

It was the laid back easy relaxed aspect of it and all the people around us that I loved.
Melissa Y
August 2nd, 2010 @ 10:10 pm

I have a lot of regrets about our wedding, but I try to temper my sense of disappointment (and even embarrassment) by remembering how hard everyone worked. My mom especially wanted it to be perfect. I was just young and inexperienced and didn’t put a lot of thought into the details because they seemed so superficial at the time.

That’s a gorgeous picture, Leslie!
Jill Shelley
August 2nd, 2010 @ 10:30 pm

Well besides the fact that my husband was covered with poison ivy at our reception…and despite the fact that he insisted on bringing his new puppy that ran a muck through the tables and our guests’ feet….I was so deliriously happy to be married to him, that I really didn’t care. I just kept thinking, “Well this will make a great story to tell our kids someday.” Come to think of it though, I don’t know if I ever told them, and all 4 are married now. Time sure does fly.
FoxyJ
August 2nd, 2010 @ 10:33 pm

That is a gorgeous picture! Looking back now I do have a few regrets about our wedding, but nothing too serious. We were students getting married over Thanksgiving break and so we didn’t have a lot of time or money for planning. Both our families lived out of state and weren’t involved much with the planning either, and neither one had any money to contribute. Plus I hadn’t been to many weddings before and didn’t have too many opinions about how I wanted things to be. I was definitely not Bridezilla by any means, LOL.

I mostly wish I had not spent so much money on my dress and spent more on pictures. This was before everyone you know had a digital camera and we just didn’t have a lot of money for photos. We found someone who did them cheaply and they really aren’t that great. He was really strange and it turned out that a year after our wedding he was arrested for making kiddie porn and all of his stuff was confiscated by the FBI. So I do keep careful track of our wedding photos because they’re the only ones we have! I also wish I had not been vain and just gotten married in Provo instead of Salt Lake–the temple was so crowded the day we got married that it would have been a bit more peaceful somewhere else.

Anyways, that’s way more than you probably wanted to know. The reception was tons of fun because my husband is from Hawaii so we had a luau rather than the traditional ‘standing in a line’ thing. It was so fun to just eat a big dinner, watch some dancing (my sisters-in-law dance) and relax and mingle at a big party. For years afterwards my grandma would mention that it was the most fun she ever had at a wedding reception.
FoxyJ
August 2nd, 2010 @ 10:36 pm

I also wish I had insisted on having a bouquet or more flowers. We didn’t really have any because they’re too expensive in November. Oh well–some day I’m going to throw a big party for my anniversary and have lots of flowers and decent photos. Maybe we can get some new appliances then too
Kathryn
August 2nd, 2010 @ 10:49 pm

I just remember being so frustrated at the reception because YOU HAVE TO CUT THE CAKE RIGHT NOW and GET MOVING STOP TALKING TO YOUR GUESTS YOU HAVE TO CUT THE CAKE. Ugh. I don’t even remember what the cake looked like, I think I have 1 picture of it and I have to pull out the album to remember.

Also, I had exactly one bite of the food and that was the bite of cake that we cut.

And my hair started falling out because we were pressed for time. I’d originally wanted to just wear it down and without the veil for the reception, but my mom talking me into putting it up again. Wish I hadn’t. Other than those things, no regrets about how any of it went.
Marintha
August 2nd, 2010 @ 10:50 pm

I didn’t care about my wedding. My mom planned everything–she cared. I did choose the flowers and the music. But what do I remember most? Wanting to run out of the celestial room because I didn’t want to do it. It’s funny now, sort of.
Blue
August 2nd, 2010 @ 11:05 pm

I really love weddings. But unlike so many brides and brides-to-be, I had never dreamed about how mine would be. I didn’t pour over Bride magazine, never picked out colors (I ended up just having a white wedding since it’s easy to match). My groom didn’t have any strong preferences or opinions either. The only caveat was that it couldn’t cost much, because I was paying for the whole thing, and going into debt for a wedding wasn’t an option I’d have considered.

So I tried to plan as nice an occasion as I could, but the night of our reception, when it was all over and my new husband and I finished sweeping up the cultural hall and setting up chairs for the church services that would be starting in 10 hours, Doc summed it up in one sentence: “That was a lot of work for some kitchen stuff”.

It was an inauspicious time. Nearly everything about it was a disappointment. The only thing that was absolutely perfect was my cake–which a co-worker made for me as a gift when she found out I was personally paying for the whole wedding–it was gorgeous. Other than that, my family was a nightmare, my maid of honor forgot about the reception (it wasn’t on the same day as our wedding), the guy doing the music didn’t show up (serves me right agreeing to let my brother’s friend, who’d had a crush on me 7 years earlier do it. He got his revenge for my ignoring him back in the day.) The friend who said she’d man the gift/sign in table couldn’t make it at the last minute…which made it easy for someone to walk off with a few of our gifts, including the box for envelopes to be deposited. We didn’t have a photographer so we went to Sears and had them take our picture. But really, it was a pretty lame experience in almost every way and I have always wished we’d just eloped to the temple and called it good.

This month we celebrate our 20th anniversary, only we won’t really get to celebrate it cause Doc is going to be doing his surgery rotation and won’t ever be home. But for our 25th he’ll have just finished residency, so perhaps we’ll have ourselves a big party with just people we like, and renew our vows. Don’t know that I could still fit into that enormous, puff-sleeved dress, but I’m thinking once was enough!

♥
Courtney
August 2nd, 2010 @ 11:06 pm

I was very involved in the beginning making the big decisions (picking the dress, invites, flowers, table cloths, food, etc) and then I left it to my mom to carry it all out. It was easiest that way since I was in school in another state. Looking back there are a few things I would have done differently – mostly the photographer – but overall I still love my ring, my dress, the food,etc. Most importantly I still love my groom.
Angie
August 2nd, 2010 @ 11:08 pm

Just the other day, I was thinking about the past eleven years of my marriage – it’s been up and down, and I really appreciate my husband and all we’ve been through. Although I really loved our wedding day (lots of loved ones and very low-stress), I now think that Laura Ingalls had it right – just the bride, the groom, the parson (or, in our case, temple sealer), and a witness or two. Save the time and energy and money for continually calling and visiting friends and family throughout the years!
Stephanie
August 2nd, 2010 @ 11:22 pm

There’s very little I DID like about my wedding, with one exception: My husband turned out to be everything I wanted and more.
Thirteen years later, that’s all that matters.
Amira
August 3rd, 2010 @ 1:13 am

I’d already gone through three of my sisters’ weddings, and that was enough for me (and my mother). My husband also had three married siblings, so his mother didn’t need a much either.

We got married early in the morning on a beautiful and sunny December day, took a few pictures, had brunch with family and friends, and were gone by early afternoon. I remember my then-future step-mother-in-law telling me I’d regret not having a wedding cake and such, but I never have. It was lovely.
Dovie
August 3rd, 2010 @ 1:50 am

Just us my mom and step-dad and grandma and grandpa on my dad’s side and my good friend. Oh and the bishop, he needing to be there to marry us and all. It was in the bishops office Orem, Utah Vineyard chapel, on a Saturday morning about 10:30, January 30, 1993.

Ordered our rings from JCPenny but they didn’t get there in time. His and her’s 14kt gold bands $99 for the set. First married meal together JB’s on University Avenue (no longer there). Honeymoon Motel 6, Provo. About twenty dollars in cash to our name other than the hotel stay. It being thirtieth Payday was Monday. It was fun and what mattered was being married and being together. Six kidos, a mortgage and three minivans later we are still happy, alive and kicking together. The artist James Christensen was the bishop of the singles ward I was attending at the time he was the one that married us. That was neat for me because I had spent many a lazy afternoon in the Springville Art Museum and was familiar with and enjoyed his work there and elsewhere. He gave us a plant. It died. That was sad. My Grandparents gave us a waffle iron that made heart shaped waffles that we enjoyed for many years that only recently bit the dust. My mom and step-dad gave us their love and support. I wrote my dad a letter and told him I had gotten married. I regret not having told him in person but our relationship was a little bit complicated at the time.

You all had so many great details I thought I would give mine.

I have four beautiful daughters (plus two handsome boys) so I figure all the complications I avoided in my own nuptials I will visit me fourfold plus in the not to distant future.
Selwyn aka Kellie
August 3rd, 2010 @ 3:03 am

My wedding: I knew my mil hated me, my 3 year old cousin threw up all over the back of my very-new-father-in-law’s jacket, my ordered wedding cheesecake was delivered a fruit cake (a FRUIT CAKE!), I was famished to eat something and the first course (reception at a chinese restaurant!) had me literally eyeballing a fish’s eyeball – and I immediately felt nauseous. My hubby left for naval training the next day, so no honeymoon at all. Nothing but smiles about the whole day for years.

My sealing (long years later): perfect. Miracle made manifest. Now I’m divorced, people have asked if I regret marrying/him. Absolutely not. Above all, I was sealed to my sons, and that is my favourite wedding memory – my boys smiling at me inside the temple.
Kay
August 3rd, 2010 @ 4:12 am

I loved my wedding day for many reasons. In England you get married twice in one day making it very long and tiring though. I thought I would be nervous walking down the aisle but had great fun and kept stopping to say hello to people. I felt beautiful for the only time in my life. I had two dresses, one for church and one for the temple, which is very common over here. My church dress made me feel like a princess, funnily enough I had a train and wore a veil both of which were things I had planned not to do as a child dreaming of weddings. My temple dress was very fitted and in a gorgeous fabric, I had intended to have it as my usual temple dress afterwards but after my first child never fitted into it again. I chose my favourite flowers but the bouquet was not the shape that I had ordered and I was diappointed when it arrived.

What would I have changed? The talks at the church wedding were so long I kept wanting them to stop so we could get on with the ceremony. My parents decided to leave part way through the reception so they could get an early train home. I was thoroughly embaressed by this. We were married at 11 a.m. and by 1.30.p.m. they had left for a two hour train journey. I would have preferred them not to have been there at all then to have them leave part way through the speeches. Typical behaviour of my mother though. Also I wish we had had the reception in a different place. We held it in the cultural hall which was badly in need of redecorating. It was a cheap affair as we were paying for it ourselves. At the end of the wedding as we left to drive to the temple the hall was filled with ungracious and rude members tidying it away so they could ger ready for the roadshouws that night. They literally started taking down decorations and stacking chairs while the guests were still in the hall. We were still in the building when they started working around our bewildered guests, many being nonmembers too.

After the church wedding we drove to the temple for the sealing to take place. I have to admit to feeling sheer panic as I walked into the sealing room. It had a completely different feel to the church wedding, more serious and daunting. I also didn’t realise that I could have asked a particular close friend, who was a sealer, to perform the sealing and was sealed by a stranger who kept getting the wording wrong.

I love getting out my photos to look at, though wish we had more. Stangely the cameras of my fil, sil, and two closest friends all broke that day and produced no photos. My family didn’t even take any.

All in all it was a happy day. Although very far from the perfect day I had planned for years.
Anonomys
August 3rd, 2010 @ 6:30 am

No way to tell a long story in a short blog; BUT will try….hopefully to advise some unsuspecting sister / gal friend out there what NOT to DO! PLEASE DO NOT DO WHAT I DID.
Marry an identical twin in a DOUBLE ceremony in a strange country, knowing NO one, before I was member. Strange minister / strange church, strange EVERYTHING. POOR parents…in shock flew us there. Even had a DOUBLE honeymoon…..at a TERRIBLE place in the woods…I was a non-member virgin, but other twin and live-in-had-an abortion-before wedding-hated-me-sister-in-law…who left US with their half of the bill after promising sharing costs of hotel, band, cake, photos, everything..taunted us all FIRST night for innocence through locked closed door of ajorning motel room.
The room had a one light bulb hanging on a worn line, broken radio, smelly linens, dusty furniture, and CROWS, black cawing crows in a cage outside the window that cawed all night and day.
(It was the Joe Crow Motel…duh !!)
Ordered pancakes for supper from room service, was starved, came cold and hard like frisbees, no syrup….and NO tub, just leaky dripping moldy shower with half a curtain..with 1 foot to turn around the toilet.
Other than that and a hundred other crazy things, I thought I was in love….
found out just this year, he was NOT in love with me..after 48 years. STayed married out of fear, LOW self -esteem, fear, circumstances of no way to make it on own as senior, strong testimony, revelation that someday God WILL make dreams come true, REAL soul mate eventually..in eternity. Was sealed in LA temple 8 years after civil ceremony and made peace with self for life filled with unfair and problems by REALLY living gospel within
my personal realm…and having peace and ANSWERS from God who mercifully always was there for me.
NEVER marry a twin.
NEVER have double plans.
NEVER LET others decide everything for you.
NEVER have a joint honeymoon….in the woods.
NEVER away from all your friends and family.
ALWAYS make sure your mate loves/ is in love with you.
ALWAYS FOLLOW the Spirit…not your emotions.
It may hurt or seem out of place, but GOD knows best,, even IF you are deeply in love.
He knows the future.
Did have wonderful photos, cake, dress, BUT
NOT anything that was important.
Your future husband MUST LOVE YOU MORE THAN himself, family, friends…..all except the Godhead.
There’s more and some of it is actually funny, but keeping it short and tacky !!!!
God Bless you all…
….Hey, I think I’ll write a book.
Cath
August 3rd, 2010 @ 8:23 am

The night of the big day, both hubby and I said we wouldn’t have changed a thing. Looking back now I wish we hadn’t invited the long list of people my parents knew (but I didn’t) who stood for an hour at the top of the Rice Eccles Football Stadium in a snaking line with evening sun beating through the large uncovered windows. My brother worked the line, hauling armfuls of water cups to the waiting patrons. Yes – I would change that. But really, like you, I have few regrets. It was a day of sweet memories. I loved your descriptions Leslie. Thanks for walking us down Memory Lane.
Emily
August 3rd, 2010 @ 8:30 am

I don’t really regret anything about our wedding. Even the one thing that still hurts (albeit only a little after five years) is that our pictures didn’t turn out like I had hoped. But we had picked a good photographer who did a fabulous job on my bridal portraits; I guess she had an “off” day the day of our wedding.

One of my favorite memories is how hard my parents worked to make their home ready for our low-key reception. My mom decorated beautifully, they repainted, and I even have a picture of my dad in kneepads scrubbing the hard-wood floors. For someone who always felt second-best and second-important to her younger brother, I felt incredibly loved.
Tay
August 3rd, 2010 @ 8:48 am

I tried having opinions, but I was out of state and not paying for anything. So a lot of it was left up to my mom. Which was not a bad idea – she really has fantastic taste. Plus she ran everything by me before going ahead with the idea. My MIL wanted so badly to help out (last child getting married) but there was really no way she could without my mom feeling overwhelmed and uncomfortable. My bouquet was perfect, my dress was lovely, and the car decor was very tasteful. And we got to eat because we had a wedding dinner after the afternoon sealing, right before the reception. And I refused to have a line, so we greeted everyone right as they came in – which I thought ended up being more personal and enjoyable. It also helped with when I didn’t know somebody or they were there for my parents – they could stop real quick or pass us by completely to go straight to wherever my parents were. Lovely! It was also December in Arizona.

The only thing I would do differently is have more opinion on the flowers in the centerpieces. I’m allergic to lilies, and there were a lot of them. Oh well.
Angela
August 3rd, 2010 @ 8:57 am

We got married in the Jordan River Temple, which some friends thought was an odd choice since the Salt Lake Temple is (obviously!) the place to get married. But that temple was “our” temple, the one where we took our endowments out and the one I remember saving pennies to help build when I was a kid. I’m glad we did. It was a much more relaxed atmosphere than the SL temple would have been, and I love the gorgeous blue sky and towering mountains behind us in all the pictures.

I rented my dress, and have never felt bad about that choice. I do wonder why in the world I chose to wear a gigantic long sleeved heavily bespangled dress in the middle of summer, but I don’t think such a choice was uncommon in 1992. My mom made all my bridesmaids dresses (bless her!) using what we later learned was upholstery fabric. Had a lovely reception at the cultural hall with the rented white wicker screens and arches that were common at cultural hall weddings in the early 90s. My one original design idea was to have a wide-rimmed goblet with two angel fish swimming inside on each table. We kept those angel fish in a gigantic fish tank for years and they grew HUGE. I have absolutely no recollection of what refreshments we served–I’m sure nut cups were involved–although I do know that I thought the cake was so pretty (made by a family friend) that I didn’t want to cut it or serve it until everybody got a chance to see it, so by the time we cut into it, almost everybody was gone and nobody ate it!

We drove off in our 1976 Plymouth Volare for our two night honeymoon in Park City (had a coupon!). I remember my cheeks hurt from smiling so much. It wasn’t the fanciest wedding, but I didn’t have a single complaint.
Janell the Great
August 3rd, 2010 @ 9:27 am

My fiancé (now DH) and I planned our wedding all by ourselves with only the help of a local friend who served as caterer. We didn’t have much of a choice on that matter because my family lives in PA, his family lives in CA, and we decided “in the middle” TX was most convenient to us. Planning our own wedding every detail or our wedding was a valuable pre-marriage lesson in communication, priorities, and budgeting!

I loved my wedding overall because I achieved my three “musts.” My announcements/invitations were letter-pressed and double-enveloped. I had a big, pretty dinner the night before the wedding for friends and family from out of town and close, local friends. I also had a good, professional photographer for the pretty dinner and at the temple.

The greatest disappointment was how sparsely attended the reception was. Originally we had planned to omit the reception entirely, but we had so many people express disappointment in that notion that we changed ours minds. Sadly, we had, maybe 60 people show up. Granted, we knew that the crowd would be sparse on the weekend after Thanksgiving, but we expected about 100 people between our two respective wards. What’s particularly sad is the number of people who didn’t come was becuase they forgot Sad.

Despite that, I would choose a Thanksgiving wedding again simply because it was most convenient to the out of town family and the other alternative date was six months later! Oh, and I wish I had more pictures of the reception itself – I didn’t want to pay the expensive of a professional photographer for a gym wedding and my family took a disappointingly few pictures.

The only big things I’d change about my wedding is I’d wished I’d had a better hairstylist (I ended up wearing my veil on top of my hair rather than under as planned) and I really, really wish there’d been an affordable alternative to having the reception in a gym.

The ‘best’ mishap was our punch-drink. We found the perfect ratio of ginger-ale to lime-aid-mix with just the right amount of food coloring to make the color a bit more pleasant (so Mormon). The mistake was we tested it in small quantities in a glass. In mass quantities looked like swamp water because the pulp clung to the sides of the plastic drink dispenser and the juice mix and soda started to separate. Ick!
coffinberry
August 3rd, 2010 @ 9:36 am

It’ll be 25 years next April… let’s see…

MIL made the dress; both my dorm mate and I used it (she got married 6 weeks after me). When she had a slew of daughters while I had only sons, I gave it to her to keep. No regrets there. My friends (waves hi and says thanks!–you know who you are and I know you’re Segullah Readers!) and I spent nights during finals week up on the mezzanine of Budge Hall sewing the bridesmaid’s dress for my sister. (Believe it or not, that semester saw my highest grades of college.)

Though we lived in Provo, my fiance & I traveled cross country in a manual transmission car that half-way there lost 5th gear and reverse to get married in the Chicago temple so my folks could afford to be there (they were under extreme financial hardship). We spent our honeymoon fixing that transmission. Never have been back to the Chicago temple (though have been to many others) since then. No regrets on that, though it might have been cheaper to elope to the Provo temple and call it good.

The reception in our tiny branch building was just fine; my younger brothers brought tiny tree frogs in for me to hold during the receiving line, branch members in their best clothes (which for many involved jeans & suspenders, which puzzled my non-member relatives no end). We ate nuts & mints, and ate wedding cake made by the YW leader, to a cassette tape of Mannheim Steamroller music, while my Grandpa wandered about taking snapshots on a 110 camera.

The whole point, to me, was the getting married to the man I love. The rest, well I guess it was just a right of passage. I have never understood the fascination with wedding receptions that seems to be so common in the Church.
Jean
August 3rd, 2010 @ 10:16 am

I loved my wedding. My colors and flowers were lovely, and the weather was perfect.
My one big regret – my hair. I did it myself, and within an hour after the ceremony it had fallen out. I had a luncheon afterward and the reception the next day….both times my hair looked awful. Now I wish I would have just paid someone else to do it. Some of the pictures make me cringe.
Alison
August 3rd, 2010 @ 10:49 am

It’s nice to see that others have wedding regrets too, I thought I was the only one! My reception was just perfect – exactly what I wanted. But I really wish we would have had a better photographer. I wish I would have had a bouquet to carry after the ceremony when I came out of the temple and I wish I would have bought a veil that I actually liked, instead of borrowing my cousin’s in an effort to save some money.
April
August 3rd, 2010 @ 11:01 am

Amira I am so jealous! After three sisters with enormous destination catholic weddings I felt I had to have a big ordeal too! Though I wish after what felt like eloping in the Washington DC temple(since my family couldn’t attend and we were the 4th wedding in my husbands family that year) my husband and I slipped away to a peaceful honeymoon and then came back and had a lovely brunch with just close family! I regret not skipping the reception to this day!
I will tell my kids to do what ever they wish when it comes to their wedding days.
Emily M.
August 3rd, 2010 @ 12:02 pm

Dovie, I was in the ward with James Christensen as bishop for a summer. Great man.

I remember feeling baffled when I sat down with the reception center lady and had to choose colors. I had never really thought about colors or flowers or anything. Luckily I ended up loving what I picked. We had our reception several days after the wedding, which I highly recommend, because it meant that the wedding day was all about the temple and close family. I remember most of all the deep feeling of joy and gratitude that I felt, the sense of awe that I got to marry someone as wonderful as my husband. It was a good day.
Allison
August 3rd, 2010 @ 12:25 pm

My husband and I were both raised in military families who moved after we graduated from high school, so there was no “home” we felt tied to. We decided to get married the same summer my family was planning a reunion in Hawaii, his family was willing to fly over, and it was perfect. We had a memorable family vacation the week before our sealing with our families and were sealed on a Tuesday afternoon in the Laie temple with a small dinner for the 30 people there afterwards. No reception, no open houses, no regrets! We spent the biggest part of our budget on a great photographer, a decision I love more and more as time goes on. His family was so generous to be willing to travel, and luckily it was a nice destination to attract them to!

I think that months of planning (during an 11-month long-distance engagement) along with my attitude of “As long as we’re sealed at the end of it, it’s a perfect day!” made it one.
bekah
August 3rd, 2010 @ 12:35 pm

I just returned from a trip home to Boston for my youngest sister’s wedding, so I have actually been thinking about this topic quite a bit. My sister’s wedding was gorgeous (not a huge surprise, since my dad said it cost more than the previous 5 kids’ weddings put together), and my husband asked if I wished that we had done things differently. Honestly, there isn’t much that I would have changed.

Since my (other) younger sister & my older brother were getting married the weeks before and after Christmas, respectively, DH and I basically tagged along at my sister’s wedding and eloped to the temple the same day. We just happened to have both our families there. Our reception wasn’t till a month later. I loved the lack of stress on our wedding day.

My only real regret is pictures. Unfortunately, several of DH’s friends (including our photographer) were driving to the wedding and wrecked their car. We really missed having them at the ceremony, and we ended up with a bunch of not-terrible-but-not-great-either snapshots by family and friends. Oh well.

I suppose my philosophy is that if your biggest regret, four kids and about 12 years later, is not having spectacular photos, we’re doing pretty well.
jen
August 3rd, 2010 @ 3:54 pm

I love my wedding day. If I ever get the chance to live one day of my life over again, it might just be that day. It probably wasn’t perfect, as far as details go, but I wouldn’t care enough to change a thing. My favorite memory from the day was the drive between the Oakland temple and the reception location in Santa Cruz, CA. Just my shiny new husband and I, in a rented car. I was stuffed into the passenger seat, wedding dress and all, and my husband was driving, wearing his fancy tux. I ate a sandwich his mom had made for me and then took a nap. There was so much love and security and rightness inside of me and between us. It was the most peace and the most right and the most pure I have ever felt.
Melissa M.
August 3rd, 2010 @ 10:47 pm

I loved just about everything about my wedding day. If I could change something, I would change my dress. At the time I loved it, but now I look at it and cringe a bit—big, poufy sleeves and big bow at the back (it was the 80′s, after all). And my bouquet was strange, with a string of pearls looping down around the flowers—I don’t remember picking those out. We had two receptions because we were from different places, and I loved the cake at the reception my parents hosted, but thought the cake at the reception my in-laws hosted was ugly—I think it was decorated with orchids—not my favorite flower.

Instead of having a reception on our wedding day, we had a wedding luncheon afterward with family and friends. I loved not having to stand for hours at a reception that day, and it made the day more special to just focus on the wedding itself and share the day with family and close friends.

The one part of the day that was a bit odd was when my MIL called us several times on our wedding night. I didn’t know what to make of it then, or the next night, the night before our reception, when she insisted on coming to our room and steaming my dress. And then my husband’s family called us several times on our honeymoon. My husband is the youngest by ten years, so I guess they were having a hard time cutting the apron strings. =)
Maralise
August 4th, 2010 @ 12:02 pm

The only regret I have about my wedding was that I didn’t take the stack of cash my dad offered in lieu of a reception.
annegb
August 4th, 2010 @ 12:31 pm

This is fun to read. I was thinking the other day how reading all the stuff about Chelsea Clinton’s wedding and I thought how pretty her dress was and how really godawful ugly Princess Diana’s dress was. I’ve never heard anybody voice that, but it was a homely dress. What was she thinking?

Bill and I were married,but not sealed in the temple. We had 3 kids(and a ton of bills) between us. No new anything, no cost. I bought a ham and fixings and my best friend made a cake. We ate in another friend’s back yard. Bill’s parents and sister waited outside the temple; we had a nice meal and a short honeymoon. It was really lovely, even after all we’ve been through.

I have a million regrets about Sarah’s weddings. They were both lovely but on the first I did too much and on the second I did too little. I wish I’d gotten a dress in her colors (I honestly had little time for shopping). But the second wedding was what she wanted and they were happy with it.
kristine N
August 4th, 2010 @ 3:05 pm

I had no idea I actually like weddings until I had my own, so I went into planning with really fairly low expectations and few preconceived plans. Overall that worked for us, but there were a few things I wish we’d done slightly differently.

We were the first couple sealed in the SL temple, which I thought would be good for pictures and so the rest of the day would be free for family time. Then we forgot to tell the photographer when we were being sealed, so we don’t have pictures from the temple anyway. I kind of regret that, though honestly, I’m not sure what we would have done with more pictures. Our photographer was so great and I love the album we have–it tells the story of our reception so well. I’m okay with the temple portion of the day being not really represented.

There are a lot of things I almost wish I’d done differently–my dress was just a white bridesmaid dress, and I kind of wish I’d gotten something a little more fancy, but we had an outdoor reception and I just couldn’t justify spending tons of money on a dress I was literally going to drag through the dirt. Besides, the look on my husband’s face when he saw me in the dress for the first time told me it was the right one

I wish I’d chosen a different restaurant for the dinner the night before the wedding, but only because their food has MSG in it and that gave my dad a migraine so bad he was puking the next day and so missed the entire wedding.

I also wish I’d spent more on some of the reception food. We had our reception up Big Cottonwood Canyon in one of the campgrounds and so we had sandwich fixings and salads for people at the reception. The lowbrow fixings were pretty much dictated by the numerous food allergies we had to avoid (MSG–though we failed on that one, tomatoes, cinnamon, pork, and corn, just to name a few). Still, we got really good bread (oh Avenues bakery, how I miss you!) and I wish I’d gotten meat of a more similar quality.

I really did love the day, as many complaints as I’m making. But one more. My grandma made my wedding cake. Usually her cakes are just okay, but the cake she made for us was amazing! I wish I’d had her make more than a single layer since all we got were the thin slices from cutting the cake.

Maybe I just complain about things I love. Now I’m feeling all nostalgic, like I want to pull out my pictures and try on my dress to see if it still fits. Thanks for the trip down memory lane!
DeniMarie
August 4th, 2010 @ 9:24 pm

I followed a family tradition of having my period start on my wedding day. (Despite intervention that should have made it otherwise.) My grandmother warned me it would happen to me just liked it happened to her!

I looked fantastic, but I felt terrible. Poor DH–he thought I was looking so grumpy because I was going to back out. It didn’t help that the temple worker told him he’d had people back out on their way up the elevator!

I don’t remember a word the sealer said–I just remember wanting to run out of there and take some Midol..

When we were finally done with the hours worth of pictures I climbed into the car with my new husband, explained to him what was going on, and held back tears the whole way to our luncheon.

I was more relaxed at the reception when I finally took some medicine. Although I still hadn’t eaten anything!

Looking back we can laugh about it. The way the wedding day goes doesn’t last forever, but the marriage does. A mortgage, three kids, and many more periods later it doesn’t seem like the catastrophe I thought it was at the time.

(And the pictures turned out great, so I’m glad I stayed for those.)
Science Teacher Mommy
August 5th, 2010 @ 7:14 am

While in the throes of planning her oldest daughter’s wedding (mine!) a friend told my mom that people only remembered the really bad ones or the really good ones. As we weren’t tacky enough people to make a bad one, or rich enough for a good one, she should just stop stressing.

I didn’t stress it a lot because a lot of the stuff I just didn’t care about. I deferred to mom on most of it, and we were both pretty clueless. But it was okay, because we never had a single disagreement throughout. I loved my ring, dress, and flowers. The rest was pretty mediocre, but as the above are the things that were most photgraphed and/or saved, I am glad. Also, we had a wonderful photographer.

Still, my parents offered us at first the chance to just take the money and run. I considered it for about a minute, but then I recalled the $600 dress in the closet from a previous, short-lived engagement. That dress had served as a constant, depressing reminder of my alone-ness for some time, and I was going to WEAR IT, by golly.

We meant to have an outdoor reception and my horticulturist husband-to-be spent countless hours in my mother’s large backyard. A week’s worth of cold, constant rain dashed that hope. We moved it to the church at the last minute and all my indoor shots have that stupid basketball hoop in them.

The rain seemed like such a terrible omen to me that I cried during the whole hour ride to the temple, terribly under-dressed in a short, summery dress that I bought new to wear to the lunch. I walked into the Logan temple, my nerves so bad that I thought I was going to puke right at the recommend desk. There followed about five anxious minutes while we waited for Plantboy to show up.

He did, and I felt immediate relief. I realized that what was about to take place between he and I made all the rest of it inconsequential.

In retrospect, had there not been that stupid dress, I think I would have liked a mid-morning wedding, some sunshine, and a nice big lunch with all the people I loved best. There would be a leisurely ride in the late afternoon to our first night honeymoon stay and a long sleep in the next morning.
Becky
August 5th, 2010 @ 4:37 pm

Our day was wonderful. It took a long time to find my sweetheart and I couldn’t wait to make it forever. The temple was wonderful and it was my time there that I remember most. If people ask, I tell them to make a good and simple memory. All the flowers (although I loved mine), food, announcements, tossing bouquets, cake cutting, trying to make everyone happy isn’t what it is about. All that stuff is just pomp and dosen’t really matter. Give yourself a chance to breathe, a chance to sit down with your sweetheart, and a chance to revel in gratitude, love and miracles.
living in zion
August 6th, 2010 @ 9:31 pm

I am going to use this form to publicly apologize to all the wedding couples who where scheduled to be married after 10am in the Mesa, AZ on May 25th, 1987.

It really wasn’t my fault all your weddings got pushed back over an hour and all the perfectly timed pictures, family time and special events were shot to hell. The Temple matrons gave me an earful in the bridal dressing room about how inconsiderate we were to everyone else getting married that day.

Like I said, it really wasn’t my fault. It was a group effort. It all started the day before when my lazy, good for nothing (that’s what my mom called him) uncle was 3 hours late getting to the church with the key and truck load of stuff we borrowed from that nice family in the stake. I was fuming by the time he finally showed up. He screwed up my plans to have the gym decorated no later than 9pm so I could be in bed at a decent hour. When the rest of the crew showed up to help decorate, I was in full scale meltdown.

At 11pm my fiance and his parents dropped by to see how it was going. Rob mentioned that I was crabby to everyone who was trying to help and maybe I should tone it down. Wrong thing to say. I told the groom-to-be that I was perfectly nice and that it was my lousy uncle that created the problem. The last thing I said to him before he and his parents beat a hasty retreat was something along the lines of “…and if you don’t like it, well then- don’t marry me.”

The next morning I was up at 5am to get ready for the 1 1/2 drive from Phoenix to Mesa. Mom and Dad drove me and we got there a bit earlier than the temple directed time of 8:45am.

We sat in the waiting room right off the foyer so we could catch the groom the minute he arrived. Only he didn’t come. And didn’t come. And didn’t come. This happened pre-cell phones and I had no way to contact him. All I knew was my parting words, “…then don’t marry me.” I was a basket case and the temple workers began quietly to plan for a No Show Groom.
45 minutes later the groom showed up, flushed and disheveled in his all white tux (he was embarrassed no one told him to wear a suit and change into the tux) because his sister had driven his car the night before, ran all the gas out and lost the fob that had the key to unlock the gas cap. He ended up sawing off the gas cap with a hacksaw in the driveway while wearing his tux and that’s why he was late.

Once the temple matrons realized the groom showed up, they went from being all sympathetic to me, to hissing in my ear about how I better dress fast because their schedule was going down the tubes.

Because of the groom’s tardiness all of the wedding guest’s were shuttled off to cool their heels in another part of the temple. But that caused another problem because when it came time to get the guests assembled, my side of the family was missing.

I stood in the celestial room outside the sealing room watching as everyone filed in. The sealer noticed my nerves and thought I was a typical bride. He had no idea. After the temple matron said “All the guests are in the room, lets get going and make it a short one.” to the sealer, I got the world’s biggest bloodiest nose.

It turns out the celestial room had boxes of kleenex, but no trash cans that day. The sealer patted me on the back as I leaned forward as far as I could so I didn’t bleed on my dress as I explained my family wasn’t in the sealing room. One of temple workers said, “We don’t have time to find them. They’ll have to get sealed without them.” The blood flowed harder as I explained my mother had the groom’s ring for safe keeping. We couldn’t get married without my family!

After a frantic search of the temple my family was found sitting in the cafeteria, waiting for further instructions.

Once we were finally assembled and the ceremony underway, I looked up at the sealer from the altar I was kneeling at and noticed that the bloody tissues he took from me after my nose finally stopped bleeding, were seeping through the pocket of his white suit coat jacket. Oops.

As soon as the ceremony ended, we were hustled out of the room and had to accept congratulation hugs out in the hall. Then the temple matrons hustled me back to the bridal room to clear out my stuff to make room for the next bride. It turned out to be one of the busiest days of the year for weddings.

I fell asleep at our wedding luncheon from exhaustion and my family took a nice picture of me asleep with my head flung back and mouth open, clutching a sandwich.

The reception that evening was practically uneventful, if you don’t count the air conditioning conking out and it being hotter inside than outside and the icing on the homemade wedding cake melted off into a puddle that my sister scraped off onto a plate.

Rob and I both felt so rung out by the time the day was over there was no hanky-panky on the wedding night. It wasn’t physically possible. Our 3 day honeymoon was spent simply recovering from our wedding. We were very, very glad we chose to rent a quiet cabin in the woods and not do the popular trip to Disneyland like all our friends did.

Again, I apologize to everyone who was affected by our crazy day. I hope your lives have turned out well. After 23 years, it feels great to finally get that off my chest.
Sage
August 7th, 2010 @ 5:01 am

I’ve loved reading everyone’s experiences. Thanks for inviting us to share.

I have fond memories of my wedding day (wish my bil photograper hadn’t waited until after our reception that was from 6pm-8 to take photos and that he had captured more of our awesome Springville Art Museum reception-he didn’t take any of the food! and that my sister hadn’t lost the video she took of it–or cashed the check I gave her for it).

My husband and I chose the invitations. I made my dress even though we were only engaged for two months and I was at BYU and working (as a secretary for Ann Madsen). My mother made the cake and did the flowers. I can’t remember who made the bridesmaid dresses, but think I might have made one of the flower girl’s dresses too! I finished the hem on my wedding dress the night before the wedding.

Mostly I remember getting up early and driving to the temple (from Provo to Salt Lake where my uncle was a sealer). I remember how I felt in the celestial room and since the time they gave us for the ceremony was 10:10 we’ve always smiled at that time, remembering its meaning to us.

It was January, so I’m wearing a borrow black sweater in a couple of the photos from the temple.

The wedding lunceon was at Prestwich Farms (gone now from Orem) and I remember my Uncle Hugh Nibley welcoming my Irish ancestry husband happily into the family–he also enjoyed speaking a little Arabic with him. My bil, who was about 12 at the time was being pretty annoying at the luncheon, but the glow of being married kept me from getting too irritated.

The reception was beautiful! The museum was a great place–I do wish we’d skipped the line. My brother played the piano. My mother had made spinach dip in bread bowls and we had mini-quiches.

And we copied my brother’s mission country’s (Iran-1977) tradition of decorating the car with flowers and ribbons. We felt happy (though tired) as we drove off to our honeymoon at a cabin in Sundance where I learned how to ski! The second and last time was our first anniversary.
Liz C
August 8th, 2010 @ 2:01 am

We eloped, with my parents as witnesses, then went out to lunch, then visited with my former Bishop at the hospital where he was having kidney dialysis, then went back to our new place and took naps. It was grand!

Five months later, I got to meet my new in-laws when they traveled out to visit us. My aunties decided we should have a family party, and arranged the whole thing to be held at my grandfather’s place in the Oregon Coast Range. My grandfather’s gift to me was a blackberry pie he made from scratch, with berries from his secret berry patch on the mountain… not the recipe, nor the pie plate, just the pie.

14 years and four children later, we’re still extremely married, and I look back on the wedding day as a lovely solidification of what we knew was “the right thing” for us. No regrets!